THE WOES OF SHANE GRAY
Smile. If you just keep smiling no one will notice. No one will be able to tell that you have never been more miserable in your life. No one will know that every time you get on stage and sing, your spirit dies just a little bit more. No one will know that you hate the words that come out of your mouth. Words neither you nor your band-mates had any part in creating. Frivolous words that are chanted back at you by hundreds of thousands of fans. If you can smile, for just a little bit longer, everything will be okay. You won't let anybody down. If you just keep smiling.
Looking back on the day me, Nate and Jason signed the contract with Hot Tunes Records was a bittersweet memory. We were all so excited, adrenaline still pumping from the surprising announcement that we had won Final Jam at our beloved Camp Rock.
Meeting Nate and Jason at said camp had probably been the best thing to ever happen in my very short life. I had been skeptical the first time Jason had all but bounced into our cabin and wrapped me in a bear hug while proclaiming his excitement for having a roommate. Nate had been a completely different experience. He walked into the room 15 minutes later and muttered a quick introduction before dropping his stuff on the only unoccupied bed. Undeterred by the serious boy's glib greeting Jason proceeded with the giant bear hug lifting Nate several inches off the ground. I had laughed at the startled squeak that had left the curly haired boy's mouth.
With Jason's infallible ability to love everyone it became impossible for the three of us not to become friends. As the days passed I couldn't remember laughing so hard for so long with such consistency. I had grown up in a very stiff home. Hugs were few and far between and even rarer were kind words. I guess you could describe my family as your traditional WASPs. AKA: rich, snobbish, polite in public, ruthless behind closed doors, and inevitable alcoholics.
Nate had loosened up rather quickly and despite his and Jason's constant bickering we had formed a brilliant threesome. Nate kept us in line, Jason made sure we were never too serious for too long and I guess I balanced everything out.
For the first time in my life I felt like I was a part of something amazing. I had never been able to relate well to people my own age, especially the prepped out snobs that I was forced to attend school with. I could relax completely around my new friends and say anything without worry of denting my social standing. It was liberating. Every day I discovered something new that I loved about having real genuine friends.
The record deal had been icing on the cake…for a short while anyway. Our first meeting didn't go exactly as planned. We were informed that all our songs were already produced along with the name of our and band and the type of image each of would portray. After a lot of wheedling Hot Tunes had managed to convince us that they knew what was best and what would sell.
"Come on boys, your first record needs to be guaranteed gold. We've been in this business for a long time and there are hundreds of young lads who can sing and play instruments just as well as you can
that would cut off their right arm for the opportunity that we are presenting you. It's only one record and if it does well you'll be granted more artistic freedom in the second album." had been the exact words that poured out of that manipulative snake's mouth.
Nate and Jason had agreed to give the labels way a shot the first time around and I had no choice but to follow my buddies leads. After all, it didn't sound too bad. One bogus record and they were free to write and be who they wanted to be on a superstar level. It sounded like a sweet deal.
When it came time for the second album to start production I was more than ready to ditch the cookie-cutter crap we had been selling. However, the artistic freedoms that we had been promised weren't exactly what were expecting. "Why try and mess with something that already works so well?" had been the words of our manager, referring to our overwhelming popularity with the cookie cutter crap. It was too late to quite since contracts had already been signed and Nate and Jace didn't hate the songs we were pedaling nearly as much as I did. Not that they were bad songs, they just lacked….something.
This is about the time when my so called 'problems' started. It was until the third album that my happy façade started slipping, but this is when I put on my first fake smile that my band mates never called me on. It was the first of many to come.