Title: Holy Sh.. I'm a superhero

Rating: PG for language

Summary: Quinn Evans is, for lack of a better term, a loser. He's on the school paper, he can't play sports, and he spends too much time buried in his books to be noticed. One day he gets bit by a spider and his world explodes. (Gender swapped Quinn, Quick bromance and eventual Faberry with starter Finchel)

Stuff: I think the male version of Dianna Agron is Chord Overstreet so that's the male Quinn. Just think Chord without the man bangs

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I always enjoyed listening to jazz music, no matter what time of the day it was, even walking through the halls of my crowded school trying to avoid the jocks and their slushy cups. I don't have another outfit to change into and I refuse to borrow something from Puck, his clothes smelled like man...not that I don't smell like a man, I have a pretty rigorous routine -despite what people assumed- and I smell clean while Puck smells like Puck. I raise my phone up to switch the song as my body slams into the locker

"What's up, loser?!"

I let out a groan, "Karofsky, you look nice today."

"What was that?" He picked me up and slammed me into the lockers, "are you hitting on me pretty boy?"

I choke out a laugh, "Well, I'm not the one throwing out compliments."

I've always had a problem with keeping quiet, I realize this as I'm thrown to the ground. Puck told me that if I had as much strength as I have mouth I would be dangerous.

"Hey, Karofsky, dude, relax."

I frown, the schools superhero is standing right there trying to save me and it's in front of his girlfriend, the love of my freaking life. A love that I can't even have.

Finn puts his hand out, "You okay, Quinn?"

"Yeah, thanks...Finn." I fix my shirt, "Thanks..."

Finn smiles patting me on the shoulder, "See you in glee."

"Alright..."

Rachel snaps her fingers, "Do you have a concussion? What's your name?"

"Uh..that's a good question."

Did I mention that Rachel makes me a complete moron? I'm pretty sure I never hit my head at any point but, whatever. Her hands are on my face and I can't really focus on anything, I'm just trying to make this moment last forever. I've loved Rachel Berry since we were ten years old and she moved in next door to me, right next door. We use to play in my tree house then Finn happened when we were about 14. Ever since, he's been a part of Rachel's life which makes him a part of mine. He followed us to glee club and even painted sets for the musical. I hate Finn Hudson, for no reason, some times he's an asshole but he honestly seems like a good person, somewhere in that gentle giant.

"I'll take you to the nurse."

I shake my head, "No, I'm okay...Quinn, my name is Quinn."

"Oh, good." She hugs me, "see you later."

She pulls Finn away and I put my ear buds back in, going down the hall, getting lost in the sound of Ella Fitzgerald when I'm tugged into the janitor closet. I can never make it from point a to point b with out something happening. My Sophomore year I was almost to my last class of the day when Rick the Dick tackled me into a pile of slushy covered trash.

"Hey, sexy."

I smile, "Hey, Santana..."

"Don't be weird, where's your sister?"

"Brittany?"

"Who else? Did you hit your head?"

I smile, "Very funny, she's not here today. She had some math thing...why don't you know this?"

"I thought it was Friday."

I shake my head, "It was changed, she broke her phone...can I go now?"

She opens the door and pushes me out, no one notices. No one ever notices when I leave the janitors closet, with anyone. I got locked in there with Kurt once, it got really awkward in record time. Kurt thought I was Sam -we're twins so I get it- but lately Sam's been growing his hair and when Kurt reached up and didn't feel the little ponytail he freaked and broke the handle trying to get out the closet. That's why I cut my hair, we don't look exactly alike but everyone else seems to think we do, so I try to avoid the bang and give it a nice traditional look, oppose to Sam's latest obsession with looking shaggy.

"Bro, you gotta stop letting Karofsky bitch you."

I sigh, "Hey, Puck..."

"Seriously, how do you expect to win Rachel if Finn keeps saving you?"

I lead him into the classroom, "Please, say that a little louder, I don't think everyone heard you."

"Dude, no one pays attention to you unless you're taking pictures or getting your ass kicked."

I sit down, "Thank you, Noah. Really, I appreciate it."

"Whatever," He sits on top of the lab table, "I have a plan for you."

I shake my head, "Nope, last time you gave me a mohawk and dyed it pink."

"You looked like Jared Leto, girls wanted all over your jock."

"I don't know what that means."

"Doesn't matter." He sits down and turns the chair so he can rest his arms on the back of it, "My dad is having an internship at his company. You can have the last spot, we need someone to take pictures for the paper anyway."

"Mr. Puckerman, if you're done, I would like to start class."

He scoffs, "I'm not stopping you."

She glares but starts class anyway. Noah Puckerman has been my best friend since we were two, we have pictures to prove it and we became blood brothers when we were 13, absolutely unhealthy and disgusting when I think about it now. His dad is the richest man in New York City and he owns half of the scientist in the world, every science nerd in the world wants to work for him. Puck hates everything to do with science but he's incredible, he's so smart and when he really tries he can impress anyone. He's a brilliant guy and he doesn't even know it.

"Rachel's in it and Finn isn't," Puck whispers, "I'll pick you up on Saturday. I'll even pick up Berry."

I look at him, "That's actually a wonderful idea."

"I know it is."

"Mr. Puckerman, can lead be turned into gold?"

He exhales, "Not unless you can change the number of protons and you can't."

Score 115 for Puckerman and zip for Mrs. Washington.

[][][][]

Glee is the best part of my day, I love everything about it even though I spend most of my time reading or feeling completely indifferent unless it's Rachel. Lately it's been a huge Rachel and Finn scene, I don't really enjoy that. We have Sectionals coming up and as exciting as it is to watch everyone compete before Rachel gets the solo, Mercedes kills a few notes, Santana adds the rasp, Mike and Brittany dance and then Finn and Rachel duet us for the close. I'm the third best dancer, Artie has the strongest voice and Sam deserves more solos but he's just being groomed to take Finn's spot when he graduates this year. The girl is probably going to be Tina, unless a group of people no one cares about decides to join us. Even Puck graduates this year, a year early because his dad made him skip a grade when we started high school because Puck didn't want to go to go to Dalton Freshman year.

"Quinn, it looks like you have the solo."

"No I don't." I look at everyone and then at the hat, "why?"

Mr. Schue grins, "The hat has spoken, I wanted to try something new. Put people who have never gotten a solo in the hat. You won for the males."

"I'm the only one."

Mike pats me on the shoulder, "My name was in there too."

" Oh...yeah, damn. Um, thanks..."

Rachel looks at me with her Broadway grin, "I can't wait to hear you sing."

"..." I smile and Puck flicks me, "Thanks..."

My voice is different, it's pretty soft and it's kind of raspy. I can sing pretty well but I get nervous and I panic when people watch me. I auditioned with Sam, I don't think Britt ever auditioned she just started showing up to meetings.

"Any ideas, Quinn?"

I shrug, "The Beatles?"

"That's great! We can open with 'Hey Jude' and then lead into 'A little help' and maybe close out with 'Come Together'."

Everyone starts talking at once and I lean back in my chair staring up at nothing, we have incredibly high ceilings in this school.

"Finn and I have been working on a Beatles number, come on Finn."

He grins and goes up to the drums, "Let's do it babe."

Oh, I hate high school. I hate it so much. Guys like Finn get everything and I get nothing, even Puck gets everything handed to him. I've also made no moves on Rachel so it's really my fault and I'm just projecting.

"Q, can you tell mom and dad I'm going over to Kurt's for dinner?"

I nod, "Yep."

"Cool," Sam elbows me, "Congrats."

I smile as he continues his weird sit down dance, popping his chest and fist pumping at nothing. I watch Puck stand and the chain effect begins, chaos breaks out in the room and Mr. Schue joins in. Rachel comes up to me and takes my hands and makes me dance with her. We've been friends too long for it to be awkward but it is, even when she puts her hands on my waist and moves me with her. Finn laughs as Rachel turns, her back to my front, as she belts out the last note.

She leans into me, "You need to loosen up, we've been in dance class together for years."

"I really have the urge to speak Klingon."

Rachel looks over her shoulder and smiles at me, "I don't know what that is."

"Hey, Q-ball, trying to steal my girl?" Finn walks over and Rachel immediately moves to his arms.

I laugh, "That never stops being funny."

"See, I told you babe."

They walk away as Mr. Schue dismisses us and I stand in the same spot watching everyone but Santana and Puck leave the room.

Santana shakes her head, "She wants you."

"No she doesn't."

"Then why else was she grinding on you?"

I shrug, "Because I'm Quinn Lucas Evans, twin brother of Sam Evan, two of the most harmless boys in this school. The Cheerios invited me in the steam room, everyone was naked."

"That's because we thought you were gay."

Puck laughs, "Third time."

I start to pack my book bag, Freshman year everyone thought I was gay because I wore suits to school. I love suits. Tweed suits with a vest or 1960s skinny suits, I have an extensive collection. I use to shop with Blaine Anderson a whole lot, all the time.

"Are coming to the science thing?"

I look at her, "Are you?"

"Duh, I'm a genius." She sits on the piano and lies back on the piano, "Do you have to work today?"

I look at my watch, "Son of a bitch. I gotta go."

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I work in a record store that no one goes to unless they're in a show choir or some hipster that hasn't discovered a cooler one. This place looks like a bookstore and we sell coffee and it can get pretty annoying in here. I've been working here since I was a kid because my dad owns it, I don't really mind it. It's a real job and I can get fired if I screw up, but I'm late everyday though I can usually blame it on Glee or the newspaper. I can get my homework done and I can kind of mess around on the computer between not doing any else.

"Hey Quinn."

I look up, "Um, hi Rachel."

"Don't sound so excited." She walks over and sits down on the counter, "what are you doing?"

I look around then grin at her, "Homework, what are you doing here? Don't you usually hang out with Finn?"

"He's at the shop and it's so dirty in there. I hate going in there." She runs her fingers over her hair, "He's been talking about going to California with Puck, nonstop. It's all depressing."

I lick my lips, "Devastating stuff."

"You know you're gonna miss Puckerman, he's your best friend."

I lean up, "Well, yeah. But he has his own dreams and his own stuff going on."

"What do you want to do?"

"When? For Sectionals?"

She smiles, "No, when we graduate."

"Move to the city and figure it out, you?"

"NYADA, I'm going to NYADA." She speaks in a matter of fact tone, "You're not going to school?"

"I applied to Yale but it's back up if I can't get a job."

She laughs, "You amaze me, Quinn Evans. Yale is your back up plan." She touches my face, "I am so jealous of that big brain."

I feel dazed and I want to stand up and kiss her but my legs feel stuck and she'll tell Finn and he'll punch me and I'll cry. I will.

I duck my head, "Knock it off."

"I'm going to Puckerman Tower on Saturday, I need some extra circulars for my applications."

I shake my head, "You're in everything."

"I need something like science."

"Off the counter, Rach."

She jumps down, "Hey, Mr. Evans, sorry."

"It's alright, Quinn I need you to put those books away and go get ready for dinner."

I nod, "Alright, are you sure?"

"Positive. Go on, ride with Rachel." He winks and walks out the room.

She laughs, "Why'd he wink?"

"Because he hates me."

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Saturday

This is boring. Spiders are stupid, there are so many of them and I swear to God that something just bit me and that's terrifying. Puck is talking with a boring tone as he explains everything, his expression pretty blank. The science kids are eating it up, Santana looks bored out of her mind but I know she's loving every minute of it and Rachel has been lingering behind to stare at things.

When we get down to the lobby Finn is standing there and Rachel immediately runs off but I feel sick, it feels like my skin is burning up. Puck throws his arm around my shoulder and smirks.

"Didn't even talk to her."

I watch Santana leave with Brittany, "I tried, dude, I feel funny."

"You're sweating like a whore in birth."

"It's, 'whore in church', Puck."

He looks at me, "I know, but whores probably sweat more when they give birth."

"Just...can I sleep on your couch?"

He tweaks my nose and pushes my glasses up, "Come on, you look pale."

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I can see without my glasses...I can really see without my glasses...that's impossible. I've had to wear glasses since second grade. I rub my eyes and yeah, I can still freaking see. This is weird and it's scaring the hell out of me. I stand up and got to the mirro...holy shit, I'm ripped. My abs look amazing and they exist, my biceps are cut and I look good. I flex and swallow, something is wrong. I rub my hands together and walk over to the couch and sit down, I clench my fist

"What the fuck is that..." I walk over to the bedpost covered in, "is that fucking web?"

I put my arm out and press my fingers to my palm and flick my wrist before scream and jumping on the couch.

"Holy fuck.."

Puck walks in with a pizza, "You look like sh...did you cum on bed?" He walks up putting the pizza down, "What is that?"

"Don't freak out but...I got bit by a spider and I think...I think I'm a spider."

He doubles over with laughter and crosses his arms over his stomach and looks at me, laughing louder. I flick my wrist at him and hit him on the face when he looks at me. I cover his mouth and he looks ready to freak out. I walk over to the pizza box and open it, the lid gets stuck to my fingers.

"Puck..."

He pulls the web off, "Holy shit!"

"I know! Help!"

He pulls my hand away from the lid, "Dude, you're a fucking man spider."

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