My birthday gift to you
Nicole: Ahhh Crap! ~Nicole runs into the AVALANCHE headquarters ranting as usual~
Cid just sat there watching Dukes drinking his tea. While Cait Sith and Barret where playing poker. Sad but not very surprising Cait was beating Barret at it.
Barret: Yo foo' what she yellen' 'bout? Cait: Fullhouse. I don't know. Did she just find out Cloud used up all her hair gel again? ~starts to grab at his winnings.~ Barret: What foo'!? You're taken all my gil.
As Barret is done talking, that Nicole storms over to the poker table.
Nicole: Very funny people. Now get everyone down here now!
After a few minutes of yelling and dragging Vincent out of his coffin in the middle of the day. Things finally calmed down.
Nicole: Okay everyone I bet you all know why I called ya's here? Barret: Did dem Shin-ra foo's come back? Nicole: No, something worse! It's Ry's birthday and I don't got no gift. Cloud: So why does that effect us in any way? Nicole: Yeah huh. You guys know where to find Sephiroth. Yuffie: Like I know. He's like in the lifestream with the rest of the like jerks. Nicole: Sephiroth in -not- a jerk!
Suddenly Yuffie turns into nothingness as the rest gasps.
Everyone but Nicole: Yes Yuffies dead! Red XIII: But how did you do it? Nicole: I'm the author. I can do anything I want to. Vincent: ......! Cid: Well if you could #@$*^ do that. Why don't you make Sephiroth appear? Red XIII: Oh wow that is a great question. Why didn't I think of it? Nicole: Eh... I'm not going there, and I will answer that question with the plan. Barret: What's da plan? Nicole: Easy about.... Uh... four people look for Seph. Cloud: And the rest of us? Nicole: Go help me get Zell in FF8 and bring him back here. Cloud: I don't care if we are going in-groups. I'm going to find Sephiroth, and....!
Everyone starts to stare at Cloud.
Nicole: Um Cloud, I was going to take you, Cid, and Vincent with me. Cloud: ~wines~ I don't wanna. I don't wanna go. Nicole: ~sigh~ Fine you little baby go find Seph. I'll just take Vincent and Cid. The rest of you split up in-groups, and remember we need him back alive not dead.
~~~
It was a few hours later that day. Barret, Cait and, Tefa went to Niblehiem. While Cloud and Red where clueless on where to look.
Red XIII: Cloud, don't you think we should start looking for Sephiroth now?
Cloud was sadly sitting on his butt at the TV playing video games for the last four hours.
Cloud: Come on Red, I'll be done in about ten hours or so.
Red sweatdropped and he was stuck there until he could get Cloud to look for Sephiroth.
~~~
Barret: Yo Tefa I don' think da Sephiroth dude is in Cloud's house. Tefa: You uh never know Barret. He might uh be hiding here to get at my poor Cloud. Barret: But Tefa, all you've done was looking threw his things as Cait all his gil.
Barret was right, Cait was stealing all the gil out of Cloud's piggy bank and Tefa was looking threw his closet.
Cait: Yeah maybe he's at Northern Crater. Tefa: ~Tefa and Barret look shocked~ Oh my Cait came up with a plan that might just work! Barret: Should we try to go threw with da plan? Tefa: If we don't we might get cut out of this fanfic.
~~~
In the world of FF8, it was weird and yet normal. Course everything's like that. Nicole, Cid, and Vincent have been looking for the Balamb Garden, and yet it wasn't there.
Cid: Da---mn that's one $#*(? Hole in the ground! Vincent: .. Nicole: Hm I don't know why it isn't here. Cid: You think they moved it? Vincent: I believe it was attacked by missiles and it took of to get away from the attack. Cid: ~Nicole and Cid look at him as if he's nuts~ Wow he talked! It's 'bout (@*#$ time! Nicole: ~sweatdrop~ Come on I know where he is now! Cid: Where would that be? Nicole: In line to get a hot dog of course. Cid: Well lets get him and get the hell out of here! Vincent: But Cid that still doesn't tell us where the garden is. Nicole: Right, let's see . uh. it should be at. Oh hell I'll just make it come here! Cid: Then hurry the #$@(^ up! Nicole: Just calm down! ~gives a pack of cigarettes~ Here now be quite!
Cid grabs them and in a flash as he pulls one out and starts to smoke it. A few minutes went by as the three tried to think of something.
Nicole: I know! Why don't I just zap us there? Cid: Of all the- Vincent: ~cuts Cid off~ That's not a bad idea. Cid: Quite sucking to the author!
~~~
Red XIII: Tell me why again why we are going to the Golden Saucer again?
Red had finally got Cloud to stop playing his video games, but now he had to go to the Golden Saucer with him. Red couldn't take it anymore! He was fed up with it all. Cloud kept wasting their time going places where they knew Sephiroth would not be at.
Red XIII: Okay, Cloud that is it! I am leaving. I'll find Sephiroth all on my own! Cloud: Fine I don't need your help! I'll get by on my own! ~but by the time Cloud said this Red was already gone~
It took a while on chocobo to get there. Cloud thought about racing his chocobo before looking for Sephiroth. Cloud walked into the room where the jockeys check up on their chocobo. Usual crowd. He walked up to the tail jockey with the gray chocobo. The man was tail, he had somewhat long slivery hair, only went down to his shoulders. His light green eyes where as dull as any pair of human eyes where.
Cloud: Hey, Seth, how's you're uh. Seth: Chocobo? Cloud: Yeah that's it. Seth: It is going great. Nova is now an S class chocobo. Cloud: Oh that's good. Hey Seth have you seen a person named Sephiroth? Seth: Why are you looking for him? Isn't he ~crings~ dead? Cloud: I thought so, but the author says he's not so I have to find him. Seth: Why do you need him? Shouldn't he rest in peace? Cloud: Yeah well, it's his biggest fans birthday, and the author wanted Sephiroth to be there for her at the party. Seth: Really, it is her birthday? .o O (Didn't know mother had a birthday) So where's the party at? Cloud: Uh let me check. ~pulls out a copy of the fanfic and flips ahead~ Some bar in Germany. Seth: What is the name of the bar? Cloud: Some place in Germany. Seth: ~sweatdrop~ Fine I will go and tell him the good news. ~gets Nova and starts to walk out towards the door~ And see you at the party Clod. MAWHA HA HA HAAAA! Cloud: Did you say something Seth? Seth: Not a damn thing.
~~~
Nicole: See it worked just like I thought it would. Cid: Can we go now I feel something (@#*$ is going to happen. Vincent: .. Nicole: Now lets see. Was the eating place the red or the yellow.? Cid: Make up your-!
Vincent kindly knocked Cid out with the handle of Death Penalty. Making Cid knocked out cold.
Vincent: Damn. his head almost broke my gun. Nicole: ~sweatdrop~ Well least he's quite now. Vincent: Then may we proceed? Nicole: Huh proceed? Oh yeah! Let's mosey on! Vincent: That's Cloud's line. Nicole: I know that! I think it's funny. ~smiles as her eyes sparkle~ Vincent: ~sweatdrop~
They walked over to the cafeteria finding people who wanted to play cards, but every time they saw Vincent carrying Cid. They where to scared to stay and play. They threw their cards up in the air and ran like hell. Some where even ranting or screaming as they ran.
Nicole: Hey cool the Chicobo card! I've been looking all over for that everywhere! Vincent: Can we stay focused on the matter at hand here? Nicole: Fine! ~runs farther into the cafeteria non-stop sadly running into Zell, and sadly falling over.~ Ow my head! Zell: You think you hurt how do you think my butt feels landing on it!
Vincent follows dragging Cid by the caller walking at a slow pace.
Vincent: She is sorry for running into. May we ask you a question, Zell? Zell: ~gets up as Nicole does the same.~ Yeah what might that be? Vincent: Well me and my friends here wanted to know if you like to come to your biggest fans birthday party. Zell: Tch. I don't think I can. I mean I have to be hired to go. Nicole: We'll pay you with hotdogs. Made anyway you like them. Zell: Even with chocolate sauce topped with peas? Nicole: ~crings as Vincent runs to the little people who think their vampires room and throws up.~ Yeah no matter how bad they are. Zell: Booyah! You got yourself a deal!
As the three were leaving. Yes, Vincent was still dragging poor Cid. By the time Nicole, Vincent, Cid, and Zell got to the exit door. Headmaster Cid was there in their way.
Headmaster Cid: Where do you think your taking Zell? Nicole: We hired him to come to the birthday party of his biggest fan. HC: How much are they paying you Zell? Zell: Ten hotdogs per trick. HC: Their paying you with hotdogs!?! Nicole: Yup and it's a deal! HC: But you can't do that! Nicole: Yes, because I'm the author! I have the power to do whatever I wan in this fanfic! HC: Ahh it's another scurries! ~runs off calling for Squall to get Nicole~ Nicole: I guess that means we win. Zell: Can I ask where we going?
Vincent goes over to Zell doing the same thing to poor Cid, but this time broke his handle into two. In addition, strangely Zell wasn't knocked out.
Nicole: ~sweatdrop~ Why did you do that? It didn't even both him. Vincent: ~sob~ That was my favorite gun. ~growls and sculls Zell~ That was my gun you little asshole! How dare you break my handle and not get knocked out!
Nicole: Vincent calm down! Didn't you see the small and yet spikes his head? You remember Cloud's head, right? Vincent: You think they're related? Nicole: Nah I doubt it. They don't even look a like or act a like. Come on, grab Death Penney and Cid, and let's get the hell out of here.
As Vincent got his gun and grabbed Cid, Zell felt a little dizzy and fainted.
Nicole: Oh great now we have to carry him too ~sigh~
However, unknown to our uh. well we can't say young heroes Cid isn't that young. But oh well we will anyway. Unknown to our young heroes back in the shadows someone was following them, only showing their trench coat.
~~~
Nicole: We will be right backs. Please use this time to use the restroom or grab something to eat.
Siefer slowly creeps up behind our young author, and in one swift motion he'll grab.!
Nicole: I don't think so Sephy I heard your trench coat rubbing on the floor.
As Nicole kept talking about what you can do during a break and putting the readers to sleep, Siefer came closer, and closer till he was just three feet behind her.
Nicole: Seph go away. On the other hand, do something useful and tell the others where the party is. Siefer: Oh I'll do more then just tell them idiots. ~grabs Nicole and knocks her out. He carries her away and the break is over.
~~~
Back at the AVALANCHE Headquarters everyone one had came back, and in one piece too! Cid woke up and was now drinking his tea. Vincent started to fix his shotgun. As the rest where staring at Zell.
Barret: Yo this foo' has spikes too! Cloud: I feel like he's mocking me with them. ~sob~ Barret: Yeah but he does looken better in dem. Cloud: Shut up! Tefa: Quite! Or I'll punch you both so hard you want remember a thing!
Barret: Aww but Tefa since the author went missin' all hell broke loose, and Yuffie came back. See just look!
Tefa and Cloud both looked around the room to find the place looked like nothing was wrong. Vincent went to sleep, Red was beating Cait at chess, and Cid had his 40 oz. Cup of tea in his hand.
Tefa: Uh yeah-sure Barret. It's really a mess here. ~sweatdrop~
Cloud: I don't get this! What's going on?!
Barret: Nothing foo'. I'm going to be the leader here. Cloud: Not -ah where's the author!? Vincent: She disappeared, Cloud.
Cloud gets scared of Vincent creeping up on them and runs off screaming.
Barret: And you said brave. Tefa: ~sweatdrop~ Lets get back to the matter at hand here? Cloud: Right! I'll take us to the party! Barret: Yo foo' how do you know where it is? Cloud: I got a copy of the script, and I say we get the girl and go there I mean where the party is. Tefa: Oh well.. Sounds like Cloud knows what to do for once. Cloud: Hey! Barret: Yo foo' he's lucky he does or I'd kick his spiky ass!
~~~
Some house in Philly. Yeah like I'm going to tell you where she lives.
Ryan: ~is doing the only thing I know she could be doing. Listening to music while drawing.~ Cloud: ~walks in smiles Hey Ry! Ryan: Hello Cloud. You sure look as thin as usual. Cloud: Aw well. Hey! Ryan: ~snickers~ Cloud: Drawing again? Ryan: As always. So why'd ya come? Nickys not here so.? Cloud: Um.. She wanted me to bring you there/ Ryan: Where? ~glares~ Cloud: The party? Ryan: Really, okay lets see what Nicky has in stored for me this year. Cloud: Ain't ya worried what she's going to do? Ryan: Nah, like I've gotten so used to her it's like, normal to me. Cloud: ~looks shocked and confused~ Uh kay. lets go mossy over there then! Ryan: ~giggles~ He said mossy..
~~~
At the place where the party was being held or thrown. Oh hell! Are we keeping it or what!? Anyway, everyone was there well, almost everyone.
Barret: Okay foo's everything set. right? Red XIII: Quite we have the cake, Zell, and the place has pictures of lizards, and that long red hared man with the tail. Tefa: Who is he? He looks like Sephiroth but really short. Red XIII: Do I look like I know everything? Everyone: Yes! Red XIII: ~blinks~ Well, I never! Vincent: .... ~fixes his gun~ Yes, I have got it! Tefa: That's nice Vincent really.. Why don't you go sleep? It is daytime and vampires sleep at day. Vincent: one I'm not a fricken vampire and two it's night out. Everyone: ~stares at Vincent~
All sudden Siefer comes in with a really bad Sephiroth diocese on.
Siefer: ~fixes wig~ All right I'm here lets get this the hell over with. ~looks around for Zell~
Tefa: ~whispers to Cid~ I don't remember him being so grouchy. Cid: ~snores~ Zell: ~looks at Siefer~ Siefer.? Siefer: No, I am Seth-er-ath, the super ego mamma's boy. Tefa: Ok if that is Sephiroth then I need my hearing checked. Barret: Yo foo'! Where is Cloud an' da girl?
Right before Zell could say anything Cloud and Ryan walk in.
Ryan: Whassup? ~sees everyone even Siefer and Zell.~ Cloud: Told you I knew what I was doing! Tefa: And we are very shocked at that. Cloud: Oh. ~sob~ Where's Nicole? Least she treats me right. Ryan: Um Cloud, I think you said the wrong thing again. Cloud: Uh. ~shrugs~ Ryan: Okay Nicky should know better then getting Siefer and Zell together -and- putting poor Siefer in a bed Sephiroth costume. Siefer:.! ~wig falls off~ Shit! Zell: I knew it was you!
Siefer: So chicken -wuss your hear too. What are they paying you with. hotdogs?! Zell: Well, du'h. Ryan: Enough with this. Where's Nicole? Siefer: I have her. She has been kidnapped and I shall become the author, and I shall rule you all! Ryan: Hello ~points at herself~ I can write too. Siefer: Not in this one, you can't. Ryan: Damn.. Siefer: ~laughs~ No one can save you now! Tefa: Do something Cloud! Cloud: Like what?! I can't I don't have my sword, and I hate to say it, but the only person who can save us now is Sephy-kun..
Just as Cloud said that, Sephiroth walks in wearing his trench coat, in black biker shorts, with hair in a ponytail. In addition, to top it all off he wore a nice pair of sunglasses.
Sephiroth: Sephy-kun?! Cloud: Oh my god it's Sephiroth! ~begs~ Please save us! Sephiroth: ~looks at Cloud~ Stupid puppet. Cloud: Hey: That's mean! Seph: I am not and your one for talk Strife. Ryan: O---h it's my favorite! ~runs over towards Seph and tackles him in a hug.~ Seph: Eh get this girl off of me! I am a god I should not be treated this way! Ryan: I love you Sephy! Seph: Get off me! You're crushing me! Cloud: I think Seph's having fun. Seph: Shut up you fool and help me! Siefer: Hello evil bad dude talking over the fanfic here. Barret: Shut up ya damn foo'! Siefer: ~pulls out his gunblade and grins~ I still have the author! Ryan: Nicky? ~gets off of Seph~ Gotta save Nicole first. Seph: ~gets up and dusts himself off~ Quite and I have to be out of this loony been afterwards. Ryan: Oh come on and behave! This is my birthday party and I say you gotta help us out! Seph: Fine. ~lamely~
Sephiroth snaps his fingers, Siefer disappears, and Nicole takes his place, standing with the same blank look on her face as Clouds.
Vincent: ...!! Cloud: I didn't think he could do that. Seph: See Cloud I am a god of course you would know that if you were not a failed cone of me. Cloud: Hey! Nicole: Um oh goody! You guys found Sephy, and got the party started. Ryan: Nicole, don't you remember anything? Nicole: No, why? Did I miss something? Ryan: ~sigh and pats Nicole's shoulder~ that's fine as long as Siefer doesn't come back. Nicole: Siefer was here? Ryan: Cloud, you talk to her. Cloud: But. but. Seph: ~in his general voice~ Private Strife, that is an order. Now do it! Cloud: ~sigh~ Come here Nicole. ~takes Nicole and walks to a different part of the room~ Seph: Well now that is over with I shall be leaving. Ryan: No---! ~glomps him again~ Seph: Will you stop that! It is messing up my hair! Ryan: But I want to stay. Seph: Fine I will leave when Zack comes. Ryan: Yay!
Cloud: Question. Seph: Answer, now get your work done. Cloud: No, I have a question. Seph: So say it already! Cloud: Um how can Zack be alive? Seph: Because I made Hojo make a clone of him. Like how you are a clone of me. Cloud: I am not a puppet! Seph: I did not say puppet. I said clone. Cloud:... Um yeah. Seph: Can I go now? Nicole: No---- we gotta sing happy birthday first. Seph: ~mumbles~ Fine lets get this over with. Nicole: Ok take your attitude and kiss my ass! Seph: You dare to tell me what to do!? I am a god. You cannot tell me what to do! Nicole: Just shut up or I'll get your mother here! Seph: ~growls, and sits down next the cake~ Nicole: ~grins~ Good boy. Ryan: . Nicole! Nicole: What? Ryan: ....!! Nicole: Hey! No makin' fun of Vince! Ryan: Oh your one for talk. Nicole: ~shrugs~ Lets just sing the dang song.
Ryan: I don' care I'm not singing. Nicole: Oh right. Well, lets get everyone then.
Again after gathering everyone around Ryan and the table with the cake and moaned.
Nicole: Oh can on people! After we are done singing, we get to eat the cake. Cloud: But I'm not hungry. Seph: As the same for I, but I will sing anyway. Nicole: Thank you, Sephy. Seph: Do not call me that. Nicole: Okay Sephy. ~smile~ Zell: Hey can I get hotdogs instead of cake? Nicole: Sure Zell. Now can we ^$#@ sing the damn song now!? Everyone: Oh my god she coursed! Nicole: Yeah, but it's not the first. Ryan: ~yawns~ Nicole: Ack ok we sing now!
After our young author has a nervous break down. Everyone starts to sing.
Everyone: Happy birthday to you! Unknown Person: This birthday is very happy to you! Everyone: Happy birthday to you! Unknown Person: This birthday is very happy to you! Everyone: Happy birthday dear Ryan! Unknown Person: Happy birthday petty smart-munness! Everyone: Happy birthday to you!! UP: This birthday is happy for you!! Ryan: ~blows out the candles~ Seph: ~sees the unknown person~ It is you! UP: Of course, it's me. Who else would I be? You? ~chuckles~ Seph: ~growls~ Where the hell in Zack!? Cloud: Are you feeling okay, Seph? You're starting to talk to yourself again. Seph: Yes, I am fine! I was talking the short red hared man with the tail. Cloud: But, there's n one near you besides me. Seph: ~clenches his fist~ I am going to get him for this! Cloud: Get who? Seph: They guy who was just here! Cloud: ~grins/smile~ I think someone needs to get help. Seph: ... ~starts to beat up Cloud~ Cloud: OW! ~whines~ Stop hitting me! Seph: ~grumbles~ Wimp. Nicole: Ahh holly Aeris! Cloud: Where? Nicole: ... No- half of the cake in gone! Ryan: But, there is a gift left behind. Nicole: So open it! Ryan: All-right. ~opens the box and pulls out a small spiked callor.~ Oh wow I wanted this for like forever! Seph: There is a note too. Ryan: ~reads it~ Wow! Everyone: What? Ryan: This rocks! However, I wonder why he didn't stay. Nicole: Um cause I wouldn't know what he say or do. Seph: Can you tell she is dodging his name. Nicole: Shut up! Ryan: Aw it doesn't matter but there was a request from him in this note. Nicole: What? Ryan: ~snickers~ Th dress Cloud in a dress. Seph: ~cracks up laughing~ Here Cloudy! ~snickers~ Ryan: -And- Sephiroth too. Seph: -What-?! Nicole: ~have tears in her eyes cause she's laughing so much~ Ryan: ~giggles~ Okay boys. Nicole: ~grins and holds up the dresses~ You have to dress up! Cloud: This I torture! Seph: I am a god! You cannot make me! Nicole: Yes, I can I am the author! Now dress up!!
A few painful minutes later.
Nicole: ~snickers~ Ryan: ~grins~ You two look cute. Cloud:. Nicole: Yeah but sad we had to get Sephy drunk first. Seph: ~grins funny and bows~ Nicole: Now what? Ryan: ~shrugs~ We party? Cloud: did that. Seph: Anyone wants to see my sword? They say it is nine feet, but I know it is longer. Cloud: Really? Seph: ~nods~ Yup! Cloud: Let me see! Seph: Fine. ~unzipping is herd.~
Cloud: Noo------!!! Not that! Ryan: ~giggles~ Nicole: ~nods~ Yup we gave Seph too much to drink. Ryan: Nah he is funny this way.
Sephiroth stumbles and falls over going to sleep.
Cloud: Um. Ryan: Okay so maybe just a little. Nicole: Mm. Cloud: So what this story just ends? Nicole: Looks like it. Cloud: This sucks! Nicole: ~shrugs~ That's how things are.
And so are young hero's end their journey with big smiles on their faces.
The End
Vincent: ~looks around careful makes sure no one is around~ . Finally. ~pulls off his cape and head badge thingy off~
He walked over to his coffin, opens it, and there is a cute pink teddy bear wearing a black tie. Vincent picked up the teddy bear and a quick flash of light went off.
Vincent: You bastard I will kill you for that!
All we see is Zack running out of the Shinra mansion.
Zack: Wait'll till the General sees this! ~stops running~ But where is the General?
The End for real,
Now stop reading!!
Nicole: Ahhh Crap! ~Nicole runs into the AVALANCHE headquarters ranting as usual~
Cid just sat there watching Dukes drinking his tea. While Cait Sith and Barret where playing poker. Sad but not very surprising Cait was beating Barret at it.
Barret: Yo foo' what she yellen' 'bout? Cait: Fullhouse. I don't know. Did she just find out Cloud used up all her hair gel again? ~starts to grab at his winnings.~ Barret: What foo'!? You're taken all my gil.
As Barret is done talking, that Nicole storms over to the poker table.
Nicole: Very funny people. Now get everyone down here now!
After a few minutes of yelling and dragging Vincent out of his coffin in the middle of the day. Things finally calmed down.
Nicole: Okay everyone I bet you all know why I called ya's here? Barret: Did dem Shin-ra foo's come back? Nicole: No, something worse! It's Ry's birthday and I don't got no gift. Cloud: So why does that effect us in any way? Nicole: Yeah huh. You guys know where to find Sephiroth. Yuffie: Like I know. He's like in the lifestream with the rest of the like jerks. Nicole: Sephiroth in -not- a jerk!
Suddenly Yuffie turns into nothingness as the rest gasps.
Everyone but Nicole: Yes Yuffies dead! Red XIII: But how did you do it? Nicole: I'm the author. I can do anything I want to. Vincent: ......! Cid: Well if you could #@$*^ do that. Why don't you make Sephiroth appear? Red XIII: Oh wow that is a great question. Why didn't I think of it? Nicole: Eh... I'm not going there, and I will answer that question with the plan. Barret: What's da plan? Nicole: Easy about.... Uh... four people look for Seph. Cloud: And the rest of us? Nicole: Go help me get Zell in FF8 and bring him back here. Cloud: I don't care if we are going in-groups. I'm going to find Sephiroth, and....!
Everyone starts to stare at Cloud.
Nicole: Um Cloud, I was going to take you, Cid, and Vincent with me. Cloud: ~wines~ I don't wanna. I don't wanna go. Nicole: ~sigh~ Fine you little baby go find Seph. I'll just take Vincent and Cid. The rest of you split up in-groups, and remember we need him back alive not dead.
~~~
It was a few hours later that day. Barret, Cait and, Tefa went to Niblehiem. While Cloud and Red where clueless on where to look.
Red XIII: Cloud, don't you think we should start looking for Sephiroth now?
Cloud was sadly sitting on his butt at the TV playing video games for the last four hours.
Cloud: Come on Red, I'll be done in about ten hours or so.
Red sweatdropped and he was stuck there until he could get Cloud to look for Sephiroth.
~~~
Barret: Yo Tefa I don' think da Sephiroth dude is in Cloud's house. Tefa: You uh never know Barret. He might uh be hiding here to get at my poor Cloud. Barret: But Tefa, all you've done was looking threw his things as Cait all his gil.
Barret was right, Cait was stealing all the gil out of Cloud's piggy bank and Tefa was looking threw his closet.
Cait: Yeah maybe he's at Northern Crater. Tefa: ~Tefa and Barret look shocked~ Oh my Cait came up with a plan that might just work! Barret: Should we try to go threw with da plan? Tefa: If we don't we might get cut out of this fanfic.
~~~
In the world of FF8, it was weird and yet normal. Course everything's like that. Nicole, Cid, and Vincent have been looking for the Balamb Garden, and yet it wasn't there.
Cid: Da---mn that's one $#*(? Hole in the ground! Vincent: .. Nicole: Hm I don't know why it isn't here. Cid: You think they moved it? Vincent: I believe it was attacked by missiles and it took of to get away from the attack. Cid: ~Nicole and Cid look at him as if he's nuts~ Wow he talked! It's 'bout (@*#$ time! Nicole: ~sweatdrop~ Come on I know where he is now! Cid: Where would that be? Nicole: In line to get a hot dog of course. Cid: Well lets get him and get the hell out of here! Vincent: But Cid that still doesn't tell us where the garden is. Nicole: Right, let's see . uh. it should be at. Oh hell I'll just make it come here! Cid: Then hurry the #$@(^ up! Nicole: Just calm down! ~gives a pack of cigarettes~ Here now be quite!
Cid grabs them and in a flash as he pulls one out and starts to smoke it. A few minutes went by as the three tried to think of something.
Nicole: I know! Why don't I just zap us there? Cid: Of all the- Vincent: ~cuts Cid off~ That's not a bad idea. Cid: Quite sucking to the author!
~~~
Red XIII: Tell me why again why we are going to the Golden Saucer again?
Red had finally got Cloud to stop playing his video games, but now he had to go to the Golden Saucer with him. Red couldn't take it anymore! He was fed up with it all. Cloud kept wasting their time going places where they knew Sephiroth would not be at.
Red XIII: Okay, Cloud that is it! I am leaving. I'll find Sephiroth all on my own! Cloud: Fine I don't need your help! I'll get by on my own! ~but by the time Cloud said this Red was already gone~
It took a while on chocobo to get there. Cloud thought about racing his chocobo before looking for Sephiroth. Cloud walked into the room where the jockeys check up on their chocobo. Usual crowd. He walked up to the tail jockey with the gray chocobo. The man was tail, he had somewhat long slivery hair, only went down to his shoulders. His light green eyes where as dull as any pair of human eyes where.
Cloud: Hey, Seth, how's you're uh. Seth: Chocobo? Cloud: Yeah that's it. Seth: It is going great. Nova is now an S class chocobo. Cloud: Oh that's good. Hey Seth have you seen a person named Sephiroth? Seth: Why are you looking for him? Isn't he ~crings~ dead? Cloud: I thought so, but the author says he's not so I have to find him. Seth: Why do you need him? Shouldn't he rest in peace? Cloud: Yeah well, it's his biggest fans birthday, and the author wanted Sephiroth to be there for her at the party. Seth: Really, it is her birthday? .o O (Didn't know mother had a birthday) So where's the party at? Cloud: Uh let me check. ~pulls out a copy of the fanfic and flips ahead~ Some bar in Germany. Seth: What is the name of the bar? Cloud: Some place in Germany. Seth: ~sweatdrop~ Fine I will go and tell him the good news. ~gets Nova and starts to walk out towards the door~ And see you at the party Clod. MAWHA HA HA HAAAA! Cloud: Did you say something Seth? Seth: Not a damn thing.
~~~
Nicole: See it worked just like I thought it would. Cid: Can we go now I feel something (@#*$ is going to happen. Vincent: .. Nicole: Now lets see. Was the eating place the red or the yellow.? Cid: Make up your-!
Vincent kindly knocked Cid out with the handle of Death Penalty. Making Cid knocked out cold.
Vincent: Damn. his head almost broke my gun. Nicole: ~sweatdrop~ Well least he's quite now. Vincent: Then may we proceed? Nicole: Huh proceed? Oh yeah! Let's mosey on! Vincent: That's Cloud's line. Nicole: I know that! I think it's funny. ~smiles as her eyes sparkle~ Vincent: ~sweatdrop~
They walked over to the cafeteria finding people who wanted to play cards, but every time they saw Vincent carrying Cid. They where to scared to stay and play. They threw their cards up in the air and ran like hell. Some where even ranting or screaming as they ran.
Nicole: Hey cool the Chicobo card! I've been looking all over for that everywhere! Vincent: Can we stay focused on the matter at hand here? Nicole: Fine! ~runs farther into the cafeteria non-stop sadly running into Zell, and sadly falling over.~ Ow my head! Zell: You think you hurt how do you think my butt feels landing on it!
Vincent follows dragging Cid by the caller walking at a slow pace.
Vincent: She is sorry for running into. May we ask you a question, Zell? Zell: ~gets up as Nicole does the same.~ Yeah what might that be? Vincent: Well me and my friends here wanted to know if you like to come to your biggest fans birthday party. Zell: Tch. I don't think I can. I mean I have to be hired to go. Nicole: We'll pay you with hotdogs. Made anyway you like them. Zell: Even with chocolate sauce topped with peas? Nicole: ~crings as Vincent runs to the little people who think their vampires room and throws up.~ Yeah no matter how bad they are. Zell: Booyah! You got yourself a deal!
As the three were leaving. Yes, Vincent was still dragging poor Cid. By the time Nicole, Vincent, Cid, and Zell got to the exit door. Headmaster Cid was there in their way.
Headmaster Cid: Where do you think your taking Zell? Nicole: We hired him to come to the birthday party of his biggest fan. HC: How much are they paying you Zell? Zell: Ten hotdogs per trick. HC: Their paying you with hotdogs!?! Nicole: Yup and it's a deal! HC: But you can't do that! Nicole: Yes, because I'm the author! I have the power to do whatever I wan in this fanfic! HC: Ahh it's another scurries! ~runs off calling for Squall to get Nicole~ Nicole: I guess that means we win. Zell: Can I ask where we going?
Vincent goes over to Zell doing the same thing to poor Cid, but this time broke his handle into two. In addition, strangely Zell wasn't knocked out.
Nicole: ~sweatdrop~ Why did you do that? It didn't even both him. Vincent: ~sob~ That was my favorite gun. ~growls and sculls Zell~ That was my gun you little asshole! How dare you break my handle and not get knocked out!
Nicole: Vincent calm down! Didn't you see the small and yet spikes his head? You remember Cloud's head, right? Vincent: You think they're related? Nicole: Nah I doubt it. They don't even look a like or act a like. Come on, grab Death Penney and Cid, and let's get the hell out of here.
As Vincent got his gun and grabbed Cid, Zell felt a little dizzy and fainted.
Nicole: Oh great now we have to carry him too ~sigh~
However, unknown to our uh. well we can't say young heroes Cid isn't that young. But oh well we will anyway. Unknown to our young heroes back in the shadows someone was following them, only showing their trench coat.
~~~
Nicole: We will be right backs. Please use this time to use the restroom or grab something to eat.
Siefer slowly creeps up behind our young author, and in one swift motion he'll grab.!
Nicole: I don't think so Sephy I heard your trench coat rubbing on the floor.
As Nicole kept talking about what you can do during a break and putting the readers to sleep, Siefer came closer, and closer till he was just three feet behind her.
Nicole: Seph go away. On the other hand, do something useful and tell the others where the party is. Siefer: Oh I'll do more then just tell them idiots. ~grabs Nicole and knocks her out. He carries her away and the break is over.
~~~
Back at the AVALANCHE Headquarters everyone one had came back, and in one piece too! Cid woke up and was now drinking his tea. Vincent started to fix his shotgun. As the rest where staring at Zell.
Barret: Yo this foo' has spikes too! Cloud: I feel like he's mocking me with them. ~sob~ Barret: Yeah but he does looken better in dem. Cloud: Shut up! Tefa: Quite! Or I'll punch you both so hard you want remember a thing!
Barret: Aww but Tefa since the author went missin' all hell broke loose, and Yuffie came back. See just look!
Tefa and Cloud both looked around the room to find the place looked like nothing was wrong. Vincent went to sleep, Red was beating Cait at chess, and Cid had his 40 oz. Cup of tea in his hand.
Tefa: Uh yeah-sure Barret. It's really a mess here. ~sweatdrop~
Cloud: I don't get this! What's going on?!
Barret: Nothing foo'. I'm going to be the leader here. Cloud: Not -ah where's the author!? Vincent: She disappeared, Cloud.
Cloud gets scared of Vincent creeping up on them and runs off screaming.
Barret: And you said brave. Tefa: ~sweatdrop~ Lets get back to the matter at hand here? Cloud: Right! I'll take us to the party! Barret: Yo foo' how do you know where it is? Cloud: I got a copy of the script, and I say we get the girl and go there I mean where the party is. Tefa: Oh well.. Sounds like Cloud knows what to do for once. Cloud: Hey! Barret: Yo foo' he's lucky he does or I'd kick his spiky ass!
~~~
Some house in Philly. Yeah like I'm going to tell you where she lives.
Ryan: ~is doing the only thing I know she could be doing. Listening to music while drawing.~ Cloud: ~walks in smiles Hey Ry! Ryan: Hello Cloud. You sure look as thin as usual. Cloud: Aw well. Hey! Ryan: ~snickers~ Cloud: Drawing again? Ryan: As always. So why'd ya come? Nickys not here so.? Cloud: Um.. She wanted me to bring you there/ Ryan: Where? ~glares~ Cloud: The party? Ryan: Really, okay lets see what Nicky has in stored for me this year. Cloud: Ain't ya worried what she's going to do? Ryan: Nah, like I've gotten so used to her it's like, normal to me. Cloud: ~looks shocked and confused~ Uh kay. lets go mossy over there then! Ryan: ~giggles~ He said mossy..
~~~
At the place where the party was being held or thrown. Oh hell! Are we keeping it or what!? Anyway, everyone was there well, almost everyone.
Barret: Okay foo's everything set. right? Red XIII: Quite we have the cake, Zell, and the place has pictures of lizards, and that long red hared man with the tail. Tefa: Who is he? He looks like Sephiroth but really short. Red XIII: Do I look like I know everything? Everyone: Yes! Red XIII: ~blinks~ Well, I never! Vincent: .... ~fixes his gun~ Yes, I have got it! Tefa: That's nice Vincent really.. Why don't you go sleep? It is daytime and vampires sleep at day. Vincent: one I'm not a fricken vampire and two it's night out. Everyone: ~stares at Vincent~
All sudden Siefer comes in with a really bad Sephiroth diocese on.
Siefer: ~fixes wig~ All right I'm here lets get this the hell over with. ~looks around for Zell~
Tefa: ~whispers to Cid~ I don't remember him being so grouchy. Cid: ~snores~ Zell: ~looks at Siefer~ Siefer.? Siefer: No, I am Seth-er-ath, the super ego mamma's boy. Tefa: Ok if that is Sephiroth then I need my hearing checked. Barret: Yo foo'! Where is Cloud an' da girl?
Right before Zell could say anything Cloud and Ryan walk in.
Ryan: Whassup? ~sees everyone even Siefer and Zell.~ Cloud: Told you I knew what I was doing! Tefa: And we are very shocked at that. Cloud: Oh. ~sob~ Where's Nicole? Least she treats me right. Ryan: Um Cloud, I think you said the wrong thing again. Cloud: Uh. ~shrugs~ Ryan: Okay Nicky should know better then getting Siefer and Zell together -and- putting poor Siefer in a bed Sephiroth costume. Siefer:.! ~wig falls off~ Shit! Zell: I knew it was you!
Siefer: So chicken -wuss your hear too. What are they paying you with. hotdogs?! Zell: Well, du'h. Ryan: Enough with this. Where's Nicole? Siefer: I have her. She has been kidnapped and I shall become the author, and I shall rule you all! Ryan: Hello ~points at herself~ I can write too. Siefer: Not in this one, you can't. Ryan: Damn.. Siefer: ~laughs~ No one can save you now! Tefa: Do something Cloud! Cloud: Like what?! I can't I don't have my sword, and I hate to say it, but the only person who can save us now is Sephy-kun..
Just as Cloud said that, Sephiroth walks in wearing his trench coat, in black biker shorts, with hair in a ponytail. In addition, to top it all off he wore a nice pair of sunglasses.
Sephiroth: Sephy-kun?! Cloud: Oh my god it's Sephiroth! ~begs~ Please save us! Sephiroth: ~looks at Cloud~ Stupid puppet. Cloud: Hey: That's mean! Seph: I am not and your one for talk Strife. Ryan: O---h it's my favorite! ~runs over towards Seph and tackles him in a hug.~ Seph: Eh get this girl off of me! I am a god I should not be treated this way! Ryan: I love you Sephy! Seph: Get off me! You're crushing me! Cloud: I think Seph's having fun. Seph: Shut up you fool and help me! Siefer: Hello evil bad dude talking over the fanfic here. Barret: Shut up ya damn foo'! Siefer: ~pulls out his gunblade and grins~ I still have the author! Ryan: Nicky? ~gets off of Seph~ Gotta save Nicole first. Seph: ~gets up and dusts himself off~ Quite and I have to be out of this loony been afterwards. Ryan: Oh come on and behave! This is my birthday party and I say you gotta help us out! Seph: Fine. ~lamely~
Sephiroth snaps his fingers, Siefer disappears, and Nicole takes his place, standing with the same blank look on her face as Clouds.
Vincent: ...!! Cloud: I didn't think he could do that. Seph: See Cloud I am a god of course you would know that if you were not a failed cone of me. Cloud: Hey! Nicole: Um oh goody! You guys found Sephy, and got the party started. Ryan: Nicole, don't you remember anything? Nicole: No, why? Did I miss something? Ryan: ~sigh and pats Nicole's shoulder~ that's fine as long as Siefer doesn't come back. Nicole: Siefer was here? Ryan: Cloud, you talk to her. Cloud: But. but. Seph: ~in his general voice~ Private Strife, that is an order. Now do it! Cloud: ~sigh~ Come here Nicole. ~takes Nicole and walks to a different part of the room~ Seph: Well now that is over with I shall be leaving. Ryan: No---! ~glomps him again~ Seph: Will you stop that! It is messing up my hair! Ryan: But I want to stay. Seph: Fine I will leave when Zack comes. Ryan: Yay!
Cloud: Question. Seph: Answer, now get your work done. Cloud: No, I have a question. Seph: So say it already! Cloud: Um how can Zack be alive? Seph: Because I made Hojo make a clone of him. Like how you are a clone of me. Cloud: I am not a puppet! Seph: I did not say puppet. I said clone. Cloud:... Um yeah. Seph: Can I go now? Nicole: No---- we gotta sing happy birthday first. Seph: ~mumbles~ Fine lets get this over with. Nicole: Ok take your attitude and kiss my ass! Seph: You dare to tell me what to do!? I am a god. You cannot tell me what to do! Nicole: Just shut up or I'll get your mother here! Seph: ~growls, and sits down next the cake~ Nicole: ~grins~ Good boy. Ryan: . Nicole! Nicole: What? Ryan: ....!! Nicole: Hey! No makin' fun of Vince! Ryan: Oh your one for talk. Nicole: ~shrugs~ Lets just sing the dang song.
Ryan: I don' care I'm not singing. Nicole: Oh right. Well, lets get everyone then.
Again after gathering everyone around Ryan and the table with the cake and moaned.
Nicole: Oh can on people! After we are done singing, we get to eat the cake. Cloud: But I'm not hungry. Seph: As the same for I, but I will sing anyway. Nicole: Thank you, Sephy. Seph: Do not call me that. Nicole: Okay Sephy. ~smile~ Zell: Hey can I get hotdogs instead of cake? Nicole: Sure Zell. Now can we ^$#@ sing the damn song now!? Everyone: Oh my god she coursed! Nicole: Yeah, but it's not the first. Ryan: ~yawns~ Nicole: Ack ok we sing now!
After our young author has a nervous break down. Everyone starts to sing.
Everyone: Happy birthday to you! Unknown Person: This birthday is very happy to you! Everyone: Happy birthday to you! Unknown Person: This birthday is very happy to you! Everyone: Happy birthday dear Ryan! Unknown Person: Happy birthday petty smart-munness! Everyone: Happy birthday to you!! UP: This birthday is happy for you!! Ryan: ~blows out the candles~ Seph: ~sees the unknown person~ It is you! UP: Of course, it's me. Who else would I be? You? ~chuckles~ Seph: ~growls~ Where the hell in Zack!? Cloud: Are you feeling okay, Seph? You're starting to talk to yourself again. Seph: Yes, I am fine! I was talking the short red hared man with the tail. Cloud: But, there's n one near you besides me. Seph: ~clenches his fist~ I am going to get him for this! Cloud: Get who? Seph: They guy who was just here! Cloud: ~grins/smile~ I think someone needs to get help. Seph: ... ~starts to beat up Cloud~ Cloud: OW! ~whines~ Stop hitting me! Seph: ~grumbles~ Wimp. Nicole: Ahh holly Aeris! Cloud: Where? Nicole: ... No- half of the cake in gone! Ryan: But, there is a gift left behind. Nicole: So open it! Ryan: All-right. ~opens the box and pulls out a small spiked callor.~ Oh wow I wanted this for like forever! Seph: There is a note too. Ryan: ~reads it~ Wow! Everyone: What? Ryan: This rocks! However, I wonder why he didn't stay. Nicole: Um cause I wouldn't know what he say or do. Seph: Can you tell she is dodging his name. Nicole: Shut up! Ryan: Aw it doesn't matter but there was a request from him in this note. Nicole: What? Ryan: ~snickers~ Th dress Cloud in a dress. Seph: ~cracks up laughing~ Here Cloudy! ~snickers~ Ryan: -And- Sephiroth too. Seph: -What-?! Nicole: ~have tears in her eyes cause she's laughing so much~ Ryan: ~giggles~ Okay boys. Nicole: ~grins and holds up the dresses~ You have to dress up! Cloud: This I torture! Seph: I am a god! You cannot make me! Nicole: Yes, I can I am the author! Now dress up!!
A few painful minutes later.
Nicole: ~snickers~ Ryan: ~grins~ You two look cute. Cloud:. Nicole: Yeah but sad we had to get Sephy drunk first. Seph: ~grins funny and bows~ Nicole: Now what? Ryan: ~shrugs~ We party? Cloud: did that. Seph: Anyone wants to see my sword? They say it is nine feet, but I know it is longer. Cloud: Really? Seph: ~nods~ Yup! Cloud: Let me see! Seph: Fine. ~unzipping is herd.~
Cloud: Noo------!!! Not that! Ryan: ~giggles~ Nicole: ~nods~ Yup we gave Seph too much to drink. Ryan: Nah he is funny this way.
Sephiroth stumbles and falls over going to sleep.
Cloud: Um. Ryan: Okay so maybe just a little. Nicole: Mm. Cloud: So what this story just ends? Nicole: Looks like it. Cloud: This sucks! Nicole: ~shrugs~ That's how things are.
And so are young hero's end their journey with big smiles on their faces.
The End
Vincent: ~looks around careful makes sure no one is around~ . Finally. ~pulls off his cape and head badge thingy off~
He walked over to his coffin, opens it, and there is a cute pink teddy bear wearing a black tie. Vincent picked up the teddy bear and a quick flash of light went off.
Vincent: You bastard I will kill you for that!
All we see is Zack running out of the Shinra mansion.
Zack: Wait'll till the General sees this! ~stops running~ But where is the General?
The End for real,
Now stop reading!!