Insane Ramblings of a TomRiddle-aphobe

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing 'cept the Plot and Meggy Schmeggy! Don't Sue!

Clarification: 1. Draco is not evil.

2. Cedric didn't die in Harry's fourth year.

3. Ginny is very sarcastic and witty.

4. Harry is an Ůber Hot Boy-Who-Lived!

Thank-you,

Motherlyclucker.

My bedroom, 12:53

Hello, My name is Ginevra Molly Weasley and I have an alcohol problem…

JUST KIDDING!

Stop looking at me like that! I know you thought it was funny! I'm sorry, I know we got off on the wrong foot, let's start over.

Hello, My name is Ginevra Molly Weasley. Of course with my history, you'd think I would be deathly afraid of diaries, but no! I have conquered my fears! I'm finally showing my Gryffindor courage! Which is usually absent at the most inconvenient times. I swear, until the Final Battle, I thought that the Sorting Hat just put me in Gryff.out of habit. I thought I would end up in Hufflepuff and then be alienated from the family but the Hat found it amusing to put me with the overprotective prats that I am forced to call my brother. Fat lot of good that did me.

Hermione gave you to me for my fifteenth birthday and I gave her a black eye. I can be quite violent at times. Then, like the paranoid teenage girl I am, I locked you in a drawer and promptly forgot about you. Until now that is. Hermione told me that you had never ending pages, would shrink to any size I wanted without having to use a wand and had a permanently self-inking quill that would always be attached to the diary before I decked her. The same cannot be said for my nose which is always either to big for my face or too small. I think I may be a nose-metamorphogus. I once mentioned this to Lupin since he's married and has two kids with one but he just smiled at me, asked me what I had been smoking and lectured me about the dangers of drug use. Arsehole.

I must warn you that I will be filling your pages with my insane ramblings about:

Harry Potter ( The Ůber Hot Boy-Who-Lived)

Neville Longbottom ( Best Friend and Herbology Boy-Toy)

Draco Malfoy ( Other best friend a.k.a. Drakie-poo)

Luna Lovegood ( Drakie-poo's girlfriend and crazy person-in-training)

Meaghan Morton ( Best friend, muggleborn a.k.a. Meggy Schmeggyy)

Hermione Granger ( Hogwart's resident know-it-all and future sis-in-law)

And last and most certainly least,

Ronald Weasley ( Brother, idiot, overprotective prat and other insulting things)

And you aren't going to say anything about it. Will you? 'Cause if you do I'm burning you! On a lighter note, Harry coming in fifteen minutes to stay with us for the rest of the summer because Sirius has to go on some super top-secret Auror mission. Must go have girly-girl talk with Mione!

Ciao,

G.W.