Summary: I don't wanna stay up all night then go to work the next day, I don't wanna work. I don't wanna do anything…I can't fall asleep in that cold and empty house.
I feel empty, what should I do?
The keys clattered against the floor, echoing in that way that subtly reminded her that there was no one waiting for her anymore. The lights stayed off if she didn't turn them on, the air-con stayed on if she didn't turn it off, and the room remained silent since there was no one home to greet her. Not a "Welcome back" or a "How was work?" to spare. Just nothing. No sound. No warmth. Nothing.
Not anymore.
She was alone.
Alone in this now foreign city where the lights were always too bright and the nightlife too loud for her likings, where the strangers are really strangers and not someone's nephew who's face she may have forgotten. In that one-bedroom apartment she finally called "home" she now stood cold at the entrance, staring blankly into the dark room that silently waited for her.
Outside, she heard the world going on as per usual. The people—young and old—who roamed the streets were always too loud. But since it was winter now, she felt that they were louder than usual. She blamed the oncoming holidays and the lights that dawned the trees along the sidewalks for their giddy attitudes, even though she was sure every single one of them had seen it all before. And it didn't help that she lived in one of the fancier apartments—the kind with stores on the first floor. Being right on top of all that commotion really did wonders to her patience. She used to not worry about that, but after she broke up with her boyfriend, she no longer had the distraction from it all. All she could do now was sit there and wait till the stores finally closed and everyone went home to sleep.
It was times like these where beer was an acceptable companion of choice. She could happily drink her problems away and forget everything that has happened to her through the mind-numbing drink. That's why she liked to drink. But it's been a while since she drank alone. And its been a while since she's even drank. The last time she did was when she was ranting to her friends last year. After she had found out he cheated on her she needed someone to rely on, people to have beside her and listen to her problems.
Now that she thinks about it, it was those very friends that told her she should reconcile with him since she had been with him for a year already. She remembered them telling her about how they were sure that he was sorry, and that he wouldn't ever do it again. And now here she was, sitting alone in her apartment drinking her second beer thus far and bitterly remembering how adamant they were at having her keep him around. Which made since, after all, they were also sleeping with him, and out of the three of them, she did have the most money—the most stable job. It honestly made a whole lot of sense why they kept her around. Because she was well-off, and she gave them access to him. The perfect chump.
She huffed and slumped against the leather couch lazily. When she had bought it together with her boyfriend, it was a beautiful couch. Shiny, sleek and very modern—plus he liked to fuck on there and though it was sweaty, it still made for an unforgettable experience. But now, as she laid against it she found the whole thing to be…atrocious. It had stains on it—surprisingly enough—and there were parts of it that were chipping due to overuse. Even the memories she had made on this couch were ugly now. Just sweaty, uncomfortable, ridiculous things that she remembered whenever she stared at the tattering cushions.
She hated that couch now.
"I should buy a new one." She sighed before finishing her third drink.
She looked around as she opened up her last beer, noticing all the small things that reminded her about her relationships in this place. There was a whole in the wall from when he tried—and failed—to mount her tv. It was funny then but now that she was looking at it she was pissed. It would cost her a hefty amount to fix that. A stain from god knows what and god knows when laid prettily on the ground near the door. She had no idea how it got there then, but now she was sure that it had something to do with her damned ex fucking one of her friends near the doorway or something of that nature.
"Fucking disgusting," she huffed, "the whole lot of them, just…disgusting…bastards."
She sniffed, throwing the empty can somewhere in anger then sat there taking in the silence once again. Nothing was going on anymore. Nothing was happening. She was just there…alone on an approaching holiday that was meant for being with loved ones.
Before she could realize it, she was crying. She cursed as she frantically wiped at her eyes. She had thought that her blurred vision was because she was losing focus on what she was staring at, not because she was going to cry.
"Shit." She whined as her wiping grew tenfold. Her hands were no longer an option, they were too slippery, so she was using her sleeves, but they were starting to be drenched too. "Shit." She cried this time before she fell face first into a pillow, hoping to at least muffle the sound.
That didn't work either. But, thankfully, her neighbors weren't home. They, like everyone else, were too busy spending their time roaming the streets, shopping for Christmas gifts for loved ones. Or maybe they were shaking it up at their lover's house, she didn't know—she didn't care either—just as long as no one was around to hear her gross sobbing.
Her phone buzzed on the coffee table, shocking her enough to make her stop for a couple of seconds before the tears unwilfully came back, flooding her cheeks and staining any area of skin they touched with salt.
She let the phone ring, didn't even bother reaching for it or lifting her head from the pillow for that matter. It would turn off soon enough anyways, and, if she was lucky, they wouldn't leave a –
Blink. Blink.
…voicemail.
Unwillingly she rose from the ground and moved to sit against the couch to get a better look at the phone. The bright screen had dimmed by the time she had sat up and was threatening to timeout soon, but, really, she could care less. In all honesty, she was too scared. Too scared to check her phone to find out who called her. Too scared to hear who had left that voicemail. Too scared to even touch the phone anymore…because maybe one of them would call.
It wouldn't be all that surprising. She had always been the kind of girl who would apologize first in her relationships—whether it be friends or lovers. Truth be told, she wanted to be selfish this time around, and so she had stopped apologizing for everything, stopped being sorry for what everyone else felt in place of what she felt and finally put herself first. However, she had no idea that something like…that would happen.
Sighing, she gave in and reached for her phone and was more than relived to see that it was her mother and not her ex or friends that had called her. She wiped away the last stray tears that remained at her eyes before she played the message back.
"Tennie! It's Mom!"
She laughed—she needed that. Her mother never understood caller ID since it became a thing and frequently forgot that, even on today's land-lines, she would still be able to know who she was before she answered.
"I was calling because Papa and I, we really miss you~. Won't you come back home for the holidays? Oh wait…do you have any off days…what if she doesn't have any off days, Papa… … … …Well, anyways, if you have any time, please come see us~. We really miss our baby girl. Even if you don't have time, call me back. Bye, Tennie. I love you~!"
She saved the message, smiling a little, then sighed once more and looked over the empty room once more before she stood and started for the front door, grabbing a coat on her way out and not bothering to change her shoes.
She had a lot on her mind, and she needed something else to drink, something stronger, so, walking to the corner store just a block down was just enough of an excuse for her to leave that now crummy place she called home.
As soon as she stepped outside, it started to snow. The people around her opened their umbrellas or started to take pictures—again, as if they hadn't seen this all before—and she quickened her pace to a sort of jog. She could feel her face freeze against the wind and tried her best to tuck her head between her shoulders as a guard, or to pretend that the tears that started down her face weren't from her mind bringing up the past once again. Needless to say, by the time she reached the corner store, the poor part-timer was shocked at her appearance. Red eyes and nose, cheeks stained and smeared with what little makeup she did use, bangs newly tasseled by the wind, baggy, tattered coat, pajama bottoms and slippers that were too big to be hers. He made sure to slip her some free tissues and an Ukan No Chikara since she didn't seem to be buying them along with her 6 different leveled drinks.
The trip back was much quicker. Her head was no longer filled with her boyfriend and friends, but with her drinks instead, so she had a little bit more pep in her step, but the moment she got home and allowed the door to close behind her yet again, she realized exactly how quiet everything was again, and her mind drowned yet again in her situation.
A heavy sigh—her heaviest—left her as she opened the one with the lowest alcohol content, choosing to work her way up. She took a big chug from it before moving further into the place, keeping her eyes trained on her phone that sat idle against the table.
She thought about calling her mom back but she didn't know what to say to her. Sure, her bubbly personality was soothing and very much needed at the moment, but, at the same time, she was not ready to speak to anyone yet, let alone her mother. Still, she always felt bad if she missed one of her many calls.
She sighed again then flopped on the couch and started on her second drink, blinking listlessly at her phone till she lost focus. Her eyes felt dry and brittle. She blamed the cold but the itchy feeling left from the many tears she cried hours before she got home begged to differ.
Really, it would do her some good to talk to her mom about her situation, but she found that talking to her through the phone just didn't sit right with her. For her, her mother's magic worked best when she was right beside her.
She looked at her phone once more, glancing at the dark screen for only a moment before she sprung to her feet, chugging what was left of her drink, then running to grab her computer. The ground seemed to swim underneath her, making her footing loose and unstable but she blamed the sudden movement rather than the alcohol and kept on her way because she really did need her mother at this very moment, and after all, the very best way to talk to her was in person.
OooO
She didn't bother telling her parents about her sudden visit, but now, as she stood outside her old home in Tokyo with enough clothes for a month's stay and no one at home to let her in, she clearly saw the error in her ways. Honestly, she had been gone from home since college, choosing to move out to Kyoto then stay in Kyoto after graduation to start her new life, so, her parents not being home 24/7 waiting on her to stop by shouldn't have come to her as a surprise. Still, the audacity of them to get a life without her in it was shocking enough to add to the feeling of being locked outside her old home.
She thought of calling them and letting them know where she was but she was stubborn, and seeing her mother's surprised face when she opened the door to her—damn near AWOL—daughter returning home was something she was dying to see. So, she didn't call. She didn't even take out her phone and chose to just…wait it all out, hoping that they would return soon.
Around her, people passed by aimlessly, some of them—people she didn't know—stopped and stared at her curiously but said nothing and soon passed. Others nodded kindly, smiling at the resemblance she had with her father probably, and she nodded back but kept to herself otherwise, and for, maybe 5 minutes, that's how time passed. She would sit there leaning against her luggage and trying to attract the least attention as possible while the passersby watched her closely but carried on regardless.
It gave her time to observe the changes that had happened over the past few years. She had left when she was 18 and only returned twice while she was in college so it's been…8 years…and really, the street hadn't changed much. She did notice the row of shabby looking houses just before her street was replaced with small apartment complexes no bigger than the houses that were on the street over. The park between the streets was revamped—which made her jealous—and the old corner store that she used to visit just for kicks was replaced with some other owner and name. But around her residential area, very little changed. The houses were the same, the people that lived in them may have changed, but from what she was able to tell, most of them were still there…which meant…
Quickly, she looked around, no one was coming down the street anymore, so that meant that no one would find it weird that she was snooping around the area.
"Just a peak." She said as she stood and tip-toed to the name plate two houses down.
She remembered a lot about this area, a lot about the people that lived here with her and her family, but the one she never forgot—or rather, she wasn't allowed to forget—was the neighboring kids. More precisely…
"Hyuga." She said softly, reaching her hand out unconsciously and rubbing her fingers against the fancy, metal plate. "They're still here."
Aside from Lee, her best friend, she had two other friends from the block and they were, without a doubt, the two Hyuga kids, Neji and Hinata. Hinata, bless her heart, was about the sweetest girl she had ever met. Gentle, friendly to most if not all, not that talkative at first but, when she warmed up to you, boy oh boy was it hard to get her to stop. Tenten loved her. Loved her like she was the sister she had always wanted but never got. She would have done anything for her—and Hanabi too, when she was allowed to play with the older kids…then there was Neji.
She remembered liking the boy the moment she saw him. It was his eyes. They were sharp and alluring ever since birth probably, and, even though the whole Hyuga family had eyes like his, she always found his the prettiest. She remembered telling him that and getting into a fight with him since he seemed to hate the word "pretty" being associated with him. Thinking back on it now, it made since for him to hate it. He looked like a little girl when he was young—soft facial features, pale skin, long dark hair, and a frail frame—but let him speak and one would understand immediately that he was, in fact, a boy. Anyways, after their fight, they became rather close. She introduced him to Lee, and the trio had been together for several good, long years.
"I wonder how he's doing now?" she hummed before turning on her heels and stopping dead in her tracks, completely caught off guard from none other than, Neji Hyuga himself.
For a moment, neither of them said anything. They just stood there silently. He was staring at her and she was staring at the ground in some attempt to hide her blushing face, but the street lights weren't helping her much at the moment.
"Ota-san?"
Her head snapped up and her eyes trained almost aggressively on Neji's sharp ones—those very same ones that entranced her so—before realization hit and she shied away again.
"Hyuga-san…fancy meeting you here."
He chuckled and she looked up again. He was closer now.
"This is still my home." He said. He was in the light now, looking up at the darkening sky and swinging lightly—so uncharacteristic of him, but beautiful nonetheless. "So, that turns to my question," he looked at her then and she bit the inside of her cheeks nervously, "what are you doing outside of my house, Ota-san?"
Ota-san. Ota-san. Ota-san! She hated hearing that name come from him. Sure she was the one who started addressing him by surname first, but that was years ago…to think he still remembered it. He must have been hurt.
"Curious." She answered. "I wanted to see who all was living here still…and I was going to surprise my parents but…I guess I got them on date night."
He smiled.
She gulped.
"Why not call them?"
She shook her head, groaning her disagreement with his statement and he couldn't help but laugh at her familiar gesture. "I wanted to surprise them. Calling them would defeat the purpose."
"So, you're going to stay out here instead? Stay out in the cold and wait for them to return? What's today, Friday? Hanabi said they go out to a friend's almost all night every other Friday."
"Hanabi-chan still lives here?" she said, taking note in the way his eyes darkened at the use of her name.
"Hn."
She smiled awkwardly, knowing she hit a mark then looked away. "A-ah…I see. She's graduating soon, right? She must have done a good job, she was such a diligent girl. What field?"
"Why are you here, Ota-san?"
She looked up again and found herself sighing. "I told you."
"You never came down here for Christmas before? Why now?" He interrupted, hitting a nerve but not caring. "Don't you have a boyfriend to spend it with?"
She glared at him, crossing her arms and huffing her disbelief with the attitude she was receiving. "What about you, huh?" she shot back. "Where's your girlfriend or-or wife or whatever you have? I'm sure she's missing you right now?"
He eyed her for a moment before stepping passed her and grabbing her bags. "I don't have one."
"Lies!"
"I really don't have one." He said. "They never came here for the holidays…and I haven't spent my holidays with anyone other than family since I was 24."
She blinked and took slow steps towards him, understanding him without having to hear him, then easily slid past him to enter the front yard. "Why not?" she asked as she waited for him to manage her bags between the gate without letting it slam. "You're more than capable of finding someone to date. I mean look at you." She motioned towards his whole body, keeping her eyes on him for a little longer than she had intended before finally looking back up. "You're Adonis personified."
He scoffed, putting the bags down momentarily to unlock the door with his key—that he was smart enough to bring along—then faced her once more. "I thank you for the complement, but that can't be all I'm good for?"
She smiled. "What you want to hear more? Do you need your ego stroked that badly?"
He turned on her suddenly, jaw clenched, eyes dark with seriousness, and muscles strained a little more than she was prepared for. She took this time to look him over. He had aged well over the years—not that she expected otherwise—but what had caught her the most was how strong his body seemed to have gotten since high school. It was truly a sight to see.
"You've been working out?"
He smirked then pushed the door open, keeping it ajar with his foot. "Maybe."
She huffed playfully and he smiled at it, knowing full well what it meant. Even though the two obviously fell off since graduating high school, their childhood bond still held them together firmly, and she was truly thankful for that.
"Neji nii-san?" Hanabi hummed gleefully before dancing around the corner. "Welcome…back?"
She paused, staring at Tenten for only seconds before running at her wordlessly, latching herself gleefully around her torso and squealing silently. A small blush formed against her cheeks and, at that moment, words failed her in explaining her excitement.
Neji stood by and watched the rare sight before locking eyes with Tenten and flinching only slightly at the smile she greeted him with.
"I guess she's glad to see me?" she said.
OooO
So much has changed since she left. Maybe not so much on the outside, but from within her little community, a lot of exciting things happened without her knowledge. Though most everyone still lived around the area, most everyone had, by now, started families of their own. She found that all of her friends have children now, all about the same age, and Hinata!—innocent Hinata—she had two! One boy and one girl. Hell, even Lee had a son—a carbon copy of himself—and here she was, lonely and fruitless. After hearing about that she wanted to go back to Kyoto. At least there no one knew her well enough to expect anything out of her already.
Hinata was actually coming over. She didn't live far from her old family home, unlike Neji who moved out further into Tokyo, so she often visited and brought her two kids along for the ride. And, honestly, Tenten wanted to leave. She wanted to be in the comfort of her own family home, crying in her mother's arms and laughing at her father's stupid jokes in some lame attempt at making her feel better. She wanted to be gone before the ever so happy Hinata came back. She didn't know if she would be able to cope with the excessive love that would defiantly encase her.
"She is loveable, after all." She hummed as she ran her thumb along the rim of her cup of hot tea.
Beside her Neji hummed, questioning what he heard, but she shook it off and focused on her task at hand, hoping it would distract her from the plethora of things that were happening around her. Her friends starting families, Neji sitting beside her awkwardly, Hanabi bragging about her niece and nephew, all of it was suffocating. She wanted out of the Hyuga household. But where else would she go?
At this point, calling her parents and ruining her surprise visit was starting to look more and more inviting as time went on.
"Tenten nee-chan?" Hanabi hummed, catching the older girl's attention.
She smiled at her, taking in how she aged since she last saw her. Like her sister, Hanabi had shaped out well. Though she was nowhere near as bountiful as Hinata was, she was still rather beautifully made. She more closely resembled their father than their mother—like Hinata—which, in turn, made her look very similar to Neji. It hadn't ever bothered Tenten before, seeing the uncanny resemblance between the two cousins, but now that her relationship with Neji wasn't nearly as strong as it was before, the sight of her smiling face and warm welcoming eyes was only a reminder to the cold ones that he now gave her whenever their eyes met.
"Hm?"
"How have you been? It's been years since we last seen you. How are things in Kyoto going for you?"
Tenten blinked nervously before sighing and sipping at her drink, hoping that it would calm her down. "Good." She answered. "It's good, life over there…the people there…they're nice. And the sights are just beautiful. I live in a busy street too, so on holidays like this one, the streets shine so bright that it still looks like the sun's up!"
"Ah, so you spent the holidays down there these last few years. I thought we were just missing you."
"…Yeah." She hummed, looking back down at her drink and dreading where this conversation was going.
"So, you have a boyfriend then, yes?"
She smiled to herself, feeling that gut wrenching feeling make its way back up her throat. She tried to keep her cool, tried to look like it really was something that didn't bother her, but she didn't know how much longer she could keep that façade up before she broke.
"Hanabi." Neji said, firmly.
The girl only needed to see his face once for her barrage of questions to stop and for her to calm down. She pouted, then moved over on the couch, avoiding eye contact. "I was just asking." She huffed before looking up. "I haven't seen Tenten nee-san since I was 14. I was just curious, is all."
"It's fine." She lied, smiling despite herself. She did always favor making Hanabi happy. It was a pastime of hers when she still lived there…when she was still close with them. But now…
She looked at Neji who was sipping his tea not too far from her and Hanabi. Along with the rest of her friends, the amount of time she hasn't seen them was the same; 8 years. But with Neji, she was sure she had stopped interacting with him long before she left for Kyoto. But she had her reasons! It was just…now that time has passed, and they've met once again after several long years, she wasn't sure if her choice back then was the right choice.
"We're home!" Came a soft voice, one that instantly sent a smile to Tenten's face. No matter the years, she would never forget the sound.
Quick footsteps and manic giggling, though, stopped her happy memory as two small children ran through the room, tackling Neji and Hanabi respectively. The boy, a blue eyed, blond kid no older than 10 gripped at Hanabi's frame, ignoring Tenten completely even though she was sitting right next to the girl—though she didn't care since she was still in awe from the uncanny resemblance he had with his father. She smiled at them before facing Neji and freezing under the intense gaze of the young girl in his arms. She had turned around in Neji's arms after grappling him and had been staring at Tenten curiously for some time. Like her brother, her eyes were blue and brighter than the sun, but her hair was short and dark like her mothers. The bear she held in her hands seemed to have been through some things and was just as unsettling to her as the two who stared at her—both the girl and Neji.
"Boruto, Himawari," Hinata called as she rounded the corner, "did you greet your Ojii…Tenten!" she exclaimed, running to the girl with open arms. Her shrill scream brought in Naruto and her father, both looking worried but completely understanding the moment they saw her hugging her old friend.
"When did you get back?"
"Today." Tenten laughed. "I came to visit my parents. Kind of a surprise visit."
"But they're out on a date." Hanabi said.
"And she's too stubborn to ruin her surprise and let them know she's here." Neji added as he stood, putting Himawari down. "So, we let her stay here for now."
Tented nodded. She didn't have to look at him to hear the poison that dripped from every word he said. She understood when her stay was long overdue. "Maybe I should call them." She started. "I mean, you guys look like you'll have a full house. I'll just be in the way."
"No, you won't!" Both Hinata and Hanabi said, taking either of her arms and pulling her along.
"You are no bother to anyone here." Hinata said.
"Yeah!" Hanabi agreed, poking Tenten's cheek. "Besides, we still have so much to talk about. You can't leave. At least stay for dinner."
"Yes!"
Tenten smiled as best as she could, trying not to look uncomfortable, then looked back at the gathering behind her. The kids were standing by their dad now who was—surprisingly—looking on with a comforting smile alongside Hiashi-sama. The only one who looked even remotely bothered was Neji, who stood further off with his arms crossed and his head cocked to the side. When he saw her looking, he turned away.
"No protests, right?" Hanabi chimed, turning on her heel to look at the party behind her.
When no one said anything in return, the girls smiled and continued to lead Tenten towards the living room, sealing her fate.