Friendship's Ties

Author: Ron's Secret Admirer

Rating: PG

Genre: Angst / General

Summary: The Shrieking Shack scene, from Remus's point of view. This can be read as a companion to Visiting the Traitor, but it also works as a standalone.

Author's Note: I've been meaning to post this for a while now, but it was Sirius's death in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix that finally got me to do it. This is dedicated to him, and to Remus, the only one left. (Yes, I'm dedicating my fic to fictional characters. You got a problem with that?)

Disclaimer: I do not claim nor imply ownership to the characters, places, or items mentioned in this story. As its name says, it is a fan fic, and I am nothing but an avid fan of the Harry Potter books. Everything but the plot belongs to J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., and various publishers.

Ron's Secret Admirer

The map never lies.

Apprehensively, Remus bent forward to scan the map once again. His eyes were not deceiving him; a small dot labeled "Peter Pettigrew" did, indeed, hover in the upper right corner of the Marauder's Map.

With a start, Remus dashed out of his office and onto the Hogwarts grounds, heading for the Whomping Willow. According to the map, Sirius was also here. Azkaban could do terrible things to a person's mind, even if they were innocent. Remus shivered.

His feet pounded along the solid dirt passageway. In this moment of peril it now seemed as though it were an endless corridor, stretching forever into the dark shadows lurking out of reach of his lit wand.

Floorboards creaked ominously as Remus stepped into the Shrieking Shack, clutching a stitch in his side. This was a place he had never expected – or wished – to visit again. It brought back too many painful memories that he would rather keep locked away.

A shout came from the upper level. "WE'RE UP HERE! WE'RE UP HERE – SIRIUS BLACK – QUICK!" Ah, yes. Hermione Granger. She was Remus's brightest pupil by far, for her age; he sometimes wondered whether she would be clever enough to discover his secret. There's no time for that now! Upstairs, the girl said they were upstairs…Hurry, Remus!

His heart pounding, Remus dashed through the doorway into a dilapidated, musty bedroom. A quick glance around showed Ron Weasley lying on the floor clutching his leg, Hermione standing fearfully off to the side, and Harry pointing his wand at a crumpled figure on the floor.

Briefly, Remus's heart stopped and all time stood still. Harry stood over Sirius, a mixture of fear and determination showing on his face. For a moment, Remus could almost imagine that it was James standing before him, James insisting that he was not about to go tell the school that Remus was a werewolf…

----------

James had been avoiding me for several days. I feared the worst – that he had discovered my secret. I consoled myself with the idea that since he had not yet confronted me, perhaps it was not my lycanthropy that was bothering him after all.

"Remus?" I looked up, and was relieved to find only James looking anxiously at me. Prefects do not take kindly to students out of their dorms after curfew.

"I…isn't the moon beautiful?" James stammered, sitting down next to me on the plush red couch.

The moon was nothing but a small sliver of light in the sky. I nodded; trying to understand what James would want to talk about in a deserted common room at two in the morning.

"Remus…We all have secrets. I respect that. But I think you're hiding something big. We've been best friends for nearly two years now." I shook my head numbly. Not now, my mind repeated over and over. Not now. I had always known, deep down, that this day would have to come eventually, but now that it was actually happening, I couldn't believe it.

"Remus…I know."

As if James had just uttered my death sentence, I jerked forward violently. Not now, not now, not when things had been going so well…Not now…

James had apparently been expecting my reaction, for before the thought of bolting had completely formed, I found myself being pressed into the back of the couch. "Dammit, James, let me go!" I cried. But he stubbornly refused, and my spurt of rebellion faded quickly, once I realized that he wasn't about to move any time soon.

I stared at James out of tired, resigned eyes. He looked fearful, determined, and some other emotion I couldn't quite place. Probably hatred, I thought bitterly.

James spoke again, softly this time. "I know, Remus. I know that you're a werewolf." I paled and struggled again, but only half-heartedly. A year of Quidditch had made him nearly as strong as I, and combined with his stubbornness, I knew there was no hope in my escaping now. He continued on, undeterred, apparently oblivious of my struggling.

"Silver kills werewolves. I could kill you right now, if I wanted to." James gestured towards the silver candle sconces lining the walls, his hands shaking slightly. I sank numbly into the couch, convinced that my life was going to end here and now, by a boy I had dared to call a friend. "I could kill you, and no one would think anything of it.

"Once a month, you become a dangerous beast. Much of the wizarding world believes that I should judge you because of that." James drew a shaky breath, his hazel eyes meeting my own. I found that I could not look away. "But I won't, because they're flat-out wrong."

With a slight shake of his head, James stopped my forthcoming protests. "I did think of you that way, when I first found out. It's hard not to, after all, having been programmed to think that way ever since I was able to understand the concept. It wasn't until recently that I realized how wrong I was."

Dumbfounded, I continued to stare at James. I must have been struck in the head with something without noticing…. There was no way that my friend could be saying the things I heard coming out of his mouth. I had long since accepted that once people found out about the wolf, they would shun me. It was a fact of life. And yet, a small part of me continued to hope that friendship's ties could, just maybe, break that cycle…I forced that voice to be silent. It was the voice of my heart, which was not at all reasonable. My brain, which insisted that no one could stay friends with a lycanthrope, was the more sensible one.

I finally found my voice. "You don't want to do this. I could kill you in your sleep quite easily; the wolf's desires often press at my mind. All I have to do is let him through, just once, and bye-bye James." I shuddered. "You don't want to do this," I repeated weakly.

James simply stared at me. Perhaps he had not realized that part of the equation. Perhaps he would decide to tell the Ministry after all, and have me expelled. Perhaps…

"Have you not heard a word I said?" He cried in a furious whisper. "You could kill me, but you won't. I know you, Remus. It takes such will power to hold the wolf back, but you've done it. You couldn't bear the thought of hurting one of us, Remus, and that's what makes you different. You are my friend, and I promise won't let your secret change that. I won't." James stared at me fiercely, daring me to challenge him.

I was speechless; I distantly noticed that my jaw had dropped, and I was staring brazenly at James, who stared right back. Could it be…? Could he possibly understand me? "Thank you, James," I whispered. I did not trust my voice to say anything further.

He just grinned at me, and I knew that James was no liar; he really wouldn't let anything get in the way of our friendship. "Hey, what are friends for?" he asked, slinging his arm over my shoulder. And he kept his promise, right up to the day he died…

----------

For a moment Remus feared that he was too late, and Harry had already disposed of Sirius. Then his heart leapt as the pile of tattered robes shifted. "Expelliarmus!" he shouted, and Harry's wand flew to meet Remus's outstretched hand.

"Where is he, Sirius?"

The professor watched his old friend carefully, all his muscles tensed. As if in slow motion, Sirius pointed a bony hand at Ron.

Remus blinked. The Weasley boy? But that didn't make any sense. Then he realized that the boy was clutching something tightly to his chest. Something small and gray, with a tail resembling a worm, and a missing toe…

"But then…" he paused, attempting to sort through his thoughts. "…Why hasn't he shown himself before now? Unless –"

Suddenly it all clicked into place.

----------

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sirius asked yet again. Peter, Lily, James, Sirius, and I were gathered in the Potter's living room. It was the first time we had all been together since the previous Christmas; the battle with Voldemort had taken all of our attention lately.

"It's the only way," James replied. "Dumbledore himself offered to be our Secret Keeper, but we felt he'd be too obvious. We hoped that one of you would be keen to do it."

Just by looking at our faces, it was easy to tell that the three of us would be more than willing to take on the role.

James shared a small, quick smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "We must choose wisely. Dumbledore believes that there is someone close to us, leaking information to the Dark Lord." We all shuddered.

"Sirius, I'd like you to be our Secret Keeper."

Sirius nodded solemnly. Thus he had been appointed as James and Lily's Secret Keeper. It was also the last time that I saw the couple alive...

----------

"Unless – unless he was the one…Unless you switched…without telling me?" Remus thought aloud, hardly daring to wish it to be true.

Sirius nodded.

Such joy Remus hadn't felt since his acceptance to Hogwarts, a lifetime ago. It flooded him until he felt as though he would burst. Sirius was innocent! Remus firmly gripped Sirius's hand – a hand far skinnier than it should have been – and pulled him to his feet. If Remus could not have James back, at least he could have Sirius.

The thin man quickly pulled Sirius into a tight embrace. Oh, how good it felt to be with his brother once again…No words were said, but then again, none were needed.

----------

"Hey there!"

I jumped nervously, still unused to being around so many people. A glance over my shoulder brought me face-to-face with a boy my age, though he was decidedly taller. Strands of his shaggy black hair hung in his eyes, but he did nothing to brush them away. An impish sparkle glinted in his pale blue eyes, and this was further emphasized by the boy's wide grin.

"Heading for Hogwarts?" he asked.

I nodded. "How did you know?"

"I didn't," he grinned. "It's fun to ask the Muggle kids and then have then stare at me like I'm nutters. Sirius Black, by the way." He held out his hand to shake, and I took it. There were times, years later, when I thought I regretted taking his hand. "Remus Lupin."

By now I was convinced that the boy really was mentally disturbed. "Er, I think we ought to be boarding the train now…"

Sirius grinned again. It was infectious; I felt a small smile creeping onto my face in response. "Nah, we still have ten more minutes. Ever jumped onto a moving train before?"

I shook my head, eyeing him warily.

"Me neither. I've always thought it would be fun, though." Again, the grin lit up his face.

"I don't know about you," I said softly, though I was grinning by now, "but I'd rather wait to break my neck until after I get to Hogwarts. Many more options to choose from, there. The lake, the towers, the Forbidden Forest…"

Sirius laughed and sprang nimbly up the steps of the train ahead of me to help me lug my trunk into an empty compartment.

Once our trunks were safely stowed on the train, Sirius reached down to seize my thin hand and pull me up as well. "This is the start of a beautiful friendship, my dear friend." He mock-bowed, and we both laughed.

----------

The moment was ended abruptly as Hermione's shrieks filled the small room. "I DON'T BELIEVE IT!"

Remus broke away from Sirius, realizing that this would take a lot of explaining. He was unable to get a word in before she continued. "You – you –"

"Hermione –" he tried to cajole her, but to no avail. The screeches continued.

" – you and him!"

"Hermione, calm down –" For God's sake, girl, use some sense! he thought angrily.

"I didn't tell anyone! I've been covering up for you –"

Oh, dear. So she did find out, after all…Remus sighed inwardly. "Hermione, listen to me, please! I can explain –" But before he was able to do so, Harry stepped in.

"I trusted you!" Harry shouted, "and all the time you've been his friend!"

This was going to take much more explaining than Remus had planned on…He had forgotten how stubborn James, and subsequently Harry, could be when they willed it.

The worn man shook his head. "You're wrong. I haven't been Sirius's friend, but I am now – let me explain…"

But Hermione was determined to keep Remus from doing so. "NO!" she screamed. "Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead too – he's a werewolf!"

Remus blanched. Sirius turned to stare at him, catching Remus's eye for a brief moment. Aside from the moon, Remus's deepest fear was of someone discovering his lycanthropy and voicing it aloud…A cursory glance around the room and Remus eased his guard slightly, having seen no silver objects with which they could hurt him.

"Not at all up to your usual standard, Hermione. Only one out of three, I'm afraid. I have not been helping Sirius into the castle and I certainly don't want Harry dead…" Remus shivered, though not from the cold. Harry, dead? Oh god, never…

"But I won't deny that I am a werewolf."

A whimper from the bed diverted Remus's attention. Taking a closer look, the DADA professor could tell that Ron's leg was definitely broken. A cry broke the silence as Remus stepped forward to help the boy. "Get away from me, werewolf!"

Remus stopped cold. The words reverberated around the small room: Werewolf, werewolf, werewolf…

Slowly and deliberately, Remus turned to face Hermione. "How long have you known?"

"Ages," the terrified girl whispered. "Since I did Professor Snape's essay…"

"He'll be delighted. He assigned that essay hoping someone would realized what my symptoms meant…" Remus spoke coolly, hiding his anger at Snape. "Did you check the lunar chart and realize that I was always ill at the full moon? Or did you realize that the boggart changed into the moon when it saw me?"

"Both," Hermione murmured.


Remus realized then that he had greatly underestimated the girl. It had taken his dorm mates two years, and yet this young girl who only saw Remus once a week had discovered his lycanthropy in only a few months. He laughed, but without mirth.

"You're the cleverest witch of your age I've ever met, Hermione."

"I'm not!" she whispered. "If I'd been a bit cleverer, I'd have told everyone what you are!"

"But they already know," Remus replied calmly. "At least, the staff do."

----------

I stubbornly refused to answer the persistent knocking. More likely than not it was some meddlesome Muggle salesman.

However, when the knocks did not cease, I sighed and opened the door, prepared to tell the annoying bugger to go away.

Much to my surprise – and embarrassment – Albus Dumbledore stood on the threshold, a twinkle in his eye.

"Professor, what a pleasure to see you," I stammered. "Please come in." I motioned inside at the small, sparsely furnished living room. "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please," he replied, settling on one of the less tattered armchairs.

When I reemerged from the equally small kitchen, teapot and cups in hand, Dumbledore leaned forward, pouring us both a cup of the soothing liquid.

"Now, I'm sure you understand that this is not merely a social call," he began. I nodded. After all, it is not every day that one's former headmaster – and later, ally – is found standing on one's doorstep. "You see, I have come to offer you a job."

I could only gape. I had been unemployed for so long that it seemed my only possible condition – though not from lack of trying. After all, who would want a werewolf for an employee? They were Dark creatures, hardly human. I narrowed my eyes.

"I am quite aware of your current employment status," Dumbledore continued. "Lately Hogwarts has had trouble keeping Defense Against the Dark Arts professors for more than a year. With your extensive knowledge, I felt that you would be most suited for this position."

I found my voice at last. "I can't…you know I can't. What if I hurt one of the students?" I shook my head. "No…I couldn't endanger them like that."

"Actually, Remus, you could," said Dumbledore gently. "You have heard of the Wolfsbane Potion, I presume?"

I nodded.

"Our Potions Master, Severus Snape, has agreed to brew it for you, should you choose to accept the position."

I gulped. Severus Snape would be making the Wolfsbane Potion? For me? With a smile, I wondered how much bribery it had taken on Dumbledore's part. The potion was said to be unbelievably complicated, not to mention expensive…The fact that Severus and I were not on the best of terms, to put it lightly, didn't help the issue.

With a grin that I had all but forgotten existed, I turned to face Dumbledore again. "I'll do it."

----------

"Dumbledore hired you when he knew you were a werewolf? Is he mad?" Ron asked disbelievingly.

"Some of the staff thought so –" Namely, Snape, Remus added inwardly. " He had to work very hard to convince certain teachers that I'm trustworthy –"

"AND HE WAS WRONG! YOU'VE BEEN HELPING HIM ALL THE TIME!" Harry cried. Remus sighed.

Sirius had been silent for quite a while, but now he rose from his position on the floor and strode over to collapse on the moth-eaten bed. Cradling his head in his hands, Sirius looked so helpless that Remus wanted to cry out to his long-misunderstood friend. He knew he couldn't, however; such an act would solidify the three children's accusations, in their minds.

Harry wasn't supposed to be opposing Remus and Sirius, shouting at them with all his might and accusing Sirius of murdering Lily and James – an accusation that shook Remus to the bone. He hated himself, now, for all those years spent hating Sirius without even trying to find out the truth.

Sirius's eyes flickered upward again, his blue eyes – now turned dull from the horrors of Azkaban – meeting Remus's. In that moment, Remus knew there was hope, and eventually the hate in Harry's eyes would disappear. It was true, then – the ties of friendship truly could stretch across secrets, across misunderstandings, across time. The wolf and the dog were united again, and now nothing could separate them.