Yes, I know, it is very silly and not amazingly funny, but then again, I'm not a comedian... Just something to pass the time!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Wand Waving

By M. Vuckets (Allegra.Jane.Alec)

"So, is the Dark Lord in need of any company?" she said, slightly opening the door so that her head could pop into the dim lit room.

"Ah, Bellatrix" he said in that detached cold voice of his, "I think I told Wormtail I didn't want to be disturbed".

She then slid her body through door and positioned herself in front of the luxurious armchair, displaying the full form of her body scarcely covered by the minuscule black knitted lingerie.

"He did mention that, but then I thought your wand may need some waving –or stroking, my lord"

"Always so considerate…" he said, assessing the woman in front of him. "Mgh… Well, bearing in mind that until very recently I couldn't fully use it, I guess a routine waving is in order."

Without another word, she lithely knelt in front of him and extended a confident hand.

"Oh, my lord! You are so hard and long but yet so slim!"

"Um, Bellatrix?"

"Yes?"

"That is, in fact, my wand"

She then opened her eyes and looked at the long wooden stick between her fingers.

"Oh, my most sincere apologies, sir."

"Not to worry." He said annoyed, his reptile eyes barely closing. "Well, I suppose it's time you're introduced to Nagini"

"Nagini your snake, my lord?" she asked surprised.

"That is correct"

"But I already know her, sir"

"No, I meant the other snake" he replied, clearly irritated.

"Oh! I didn't know it had a name"

"Well, thirteen years wandering around nowhere with nothing to do except getting a body gives some time to think"

-10 minutes later-

"Yes! Bella… Bella… Bella Swan!"

"Swan?"

"Aren't you Isabella Swan?"

"No, my lord"

"Am I not Edward Cullen?"

"No sir, I believe that's another story."

"Oh, well… Maybe we should just stick to planning a way to kill Potter"

"Certainly. I will go and call Narcissa and Lucius, I believe they were practicing some spells"

"I thought Lucius's wand was broken"

"He must be using his other wand then, my lord" she said, jealousy coloring her tone.