Betrothed
Marriage Love, compassion, faith, trust, and Loyalty.
At least that's what I as a young naïve Slytherin thought
And someday I'll have just that.
Someday.
I very well hope that the someday I had always waited for will come soon. Though sometimes I have my doubts. Will the man I love, the man I am betrothed to, ever be the material of a loving husband? I know the answer to that one: No. At least not right now.
The day I found out about our little engagement, I claimed I was happiest. Now that I think about it. I was in fact not happiest then; I claimed I was in love. But I was young, what did I know? Now standing at the age of 19, I know for sure I do love him. I do.
It was only last night I had found him sitting in the park with baskets of roses piled around them, when I got a single. I had put that flower of thorns in my book to preserve it forever. Forever like my love for him.
I didn't care if he didn't return my feelings. I didn't care if he was happy with someone else. I still don't. Of course it hurts, hurts me every time I catch them. But the worst part is, its not one woman, it's many. Am I not of satisfactory? Am I not enough?
Standing here, I look into his cold eyes, that never did and may never hold a love for me. Standing here, smiling a mile a minute, inside I am bleeding a gallon a minute. Standing here I am about to be bound with the man I love, but knowing he doesn't feel the same. It's hurting me.
As we exchange our rings, I saw him glance at the crowd of people. Seated on his side were about a dozen beautiful girls. All of which I had caught with him. I followed his gaze, it landed on a beautiful brunette, a former Slytherin. I think her name was Kaitlyn? Jaslyn? I looked away, blinking away the tears.
I stand a 19 year old girl, short black hair, dull grey eyes, a little chubby, but full of determination, full of life. Whoever said you had to be beautiful to be loved?
"You may kiss the bride" announced the priest.
I caught his face. The look on his face, the disgust, it was bringing back tears I had just locked away. Why did I do this to myself, better yet, how can I do this to him. Though he cheated on me, though he treated me as if I were nothing, though he never took a second glance at me. I still love him. And I had to see him happy. Even if he wouldn't be happy with me.
I knew than I had to let him go.
Just as he leaned in, and our lips were only centimeters apart and as much as I wanted to kiss him, I turned away. I felt his soft lips brush my cheeks. Giving him one last look I ran.
I ran from my wedding, I ran from my husband, I ran from my childhood dream, I ran from everything I've ever wanted.
I couldn't take this kind of marriage. I've convinced myself all my life that as long as I loved him it would be ok. But I know that was just a lie.
Maybe he would come after me, but the chances are low. Maybe he'll love me. Maybe.
Someday.