I shouldn't be here. But I am.
I shouldn't be gripping this gun so tightly, but it feels right. I know I'll keep it by my side, at least until I pull the trigger. I should be back home, my daughter needs me. No she doesn't. She hasn't needed me in quite some time, ever since…
Its why I'm here. I should be here. I have to finish this. I deserve this.
Don't I?
She took everything from me, she stole my love, my life, my soul.
But I'm guilty, aren't I?
Aren't we all?
No.
Terri wasn't guilty.
Why did she have to suffer?
Because of me. Maybe I should finish myself off after I kill her. I deserve it.
No, I don't deserve anything.
Except to suffer.
I should stay here. Live an empty life in a cold world. Its more than I deserve. But it's the only way I can punish myself.
I will not get pleasure from killing her. Satisfaction maybe. Or relief. I don't really know what I feel when she seeps into my mind.
Anger. Repulsion. Betrayal.
Hurt. Rejection. Loss.
Revenge. Justice. Death.
Hell.
They let her get away. Let her walk right out of the door with a smug smirk on her face. I can see it in my mind. I dream it at night.
I have to kill her.
I never want to see that sick smirk on her face again.
She will not win this game.
I gave too much up to lose. Selfish yes. But determined… some sort of justice will prevail.
It has to.