Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.
A/N: The first of several tags that I'm writing for 9x12: Housekeeping. It rehases themes that I've already brought up in other fics, but since those themes have yet to be directly addressed on the show…
And is anyone else nervous about 9x13 after seeing the promo?
When Ziva finally gets off the phone, she's smiling slightly, but her eyes are a whirlpool of conflicting emotions.
"So, CI-Ray explain why he hasn't bothered to pick up the phone?" Tony asks as mildly as he can, fiddling with a stapler to mask his nerves.
"I… he says that he was unable to contact me without endangering his mission," Ziva replies.
"You don't believe him?" Tony asks, straightening up in his seat.
"I do not not believe him," Ziva says, sighing tiredly. "But…"
"Doesn't make it any better," Tony says quietly.
Ziva nods in agreement. "No. It does not. I came here to… settle down, to make a home for myself. I do not know if I can be in a relationship with a man I never see." She shrugs, brushing her feelings off. "But enough of that. Are we still up for drinks?"
He smiles, and his smile is only half faked. "Yeah, we're still on for drinks. If you're up for it, that is. The usual place?"
"I will meet you there," Ziva agrees.
At the bar, they slip into their usual seats and sip at their usual drinks. As Tony sits there, his jacket draped over the back of his stool, he feels his shoulders begin to relax from the long day.
He tells her his funniest (stupidest) jokes in the hopes of distracting her from her Ray-lationship issues. She laughs and chats, but the shadows in her eyes barely lighten. They talk about trivial matters – sports, movies, books, the weather – until suddenly the topics of conversation aren't trivial at all.
"What… what stopped you from seeing Wendy?" Ziva asks, somewhat hesitantly.
He shrugs, staring down into his empty glass. "Wasn't right anymore. Just because you have a past with someone doesn't mean that it'll work out."
A slight frown creases Ziva's face as she says, "Ah. So you were afraid."
"I was not afraid," Tony scoffs. "DiNozzo men are never afraid. Except, of course, for when we are. But that's not why I didn't go."
She looks at him in silent encouragement.
"I got part way there when I realized that Wendy's not what I want anymore," Tony says with forced casualness.
"You no longer wish to, ah, settle down?" Ziva asks delicately.
"I don't know," Tony says. "Maybe. Maybe someday, you know, in the future. I just know that I don't want to settle down with her. We've changed too much."
"You do not know that," Ziva says.
"I do," Tony says firmly, holding her eyes for a few seconds. Then, feeling that the focus has been on him for a bit too long, he asks, "So, what about you, Miss Dah-veed? Any plans for settling down in the near future with a certain operative?"
"I…" she says, "I do not know. How can I settle down with a man whom I do not fully trust? Besides, I do not even know if he is interested in that."
"He's an idiot if he isn't," Tony replies. "And only you can answer the question about whether you can be with someone you don't trust. For what it's worth, though, Ziva – you deserve someone that you can rely on. Don't settle."
"Thank you," Ziva says, eyes warm.
And Tony aches with… something. But Ziva's still with CIA-Ray, and for all he knows, that's what she wants.
So he deliberately breaks the mood and says, "You can show your appreciation by buying me another drink."
She laughs.