I'm a mess. A complete and utter mess. You wanna know why I am a mess?
1) I got dumped a week ago
2) I found out my ex was screwing my friend's girlfriend
3) A 13 year old said he wants me to have his babies
4) Said 13 year old kissed me...on the mouth and grabbed my butt
5) A toddler threw up on me
April 10
Dear Dia-
No, I don't like the sound of that. Too much of a hopeless girl cliché. I'm going to give you a name. Something cool, artsy, hip. Not like Lisa, or Beth. Something like...Iridessa! That's your new name. (She's one of Tinkerbell's besties, by the way. Just so you know who your namesake is.)
Dear Iridessa,
I come home from my boxing class to find this on my bed, with a note. You want to see the note? Ok, here it is.
Gabriella,
We're worried about you. Going off and hitting Anna was completely out of line and uncalled for. Your teachers, daddy, and I have never seen this type behavior from you. It's not acceptable. We don't know where all of this bottled up anger is coming from. And since you refuse to talk to me, Nicole McKessie thought you should keep a diary. Enjoy!
-Mom, xo
I love my mother but she can be the most dramatic person on earth. Really, a diary? Anger issues? I can't believe my parents and teachers think I have "bottled up anger". So what, I punched Troy's girlfriend in her nose. It doesn't mean I have anger issues. It means I just really hate her. She totally deserved to get punched.
Oh, you're probably really confused. Let me recap exactly what happened.
I was walking out of biology class, when Anna stopped me.
"Gabriella, we having some serious talking to do."
"Anna, I'm really not interested in having a conversation with someone whose vocabulary is as narrow as a 1st grader's." I replied. I was right. Anna Shepard was a dumb bitch.
"Well, I talk, and you listen." Anna said. "It's about you and Troy."
I had absolutely no idea as to what she was talking about. "Ok, I'll bite. What about me and Troy?"
"You and Troy left my party last night. Together."
I rolled my eyes. "This is what you wanted to talk about?"
"Don't you have a boyfriend?" Anna asked. "You couldn't sneak off with him?"
Yeah, I have a boyfriend, Eric. But when he drinks, I lose all patience and tolerance for him and his behavior. He's super annoying with alcohol in his system. "Yes, I have a boyfriend, Anna. I didn't want to see him drink all night, and Troy didn't want to see you grind on guys, so we left."
"Well, where did you guys go?"
I smirked. She was jealous. Perfect! "We went back to my place." I lied. Troy and I actually went to Wing Stop and then we went to the bowling alley. For the record, I won. "You can fill in the blanks."
Anna was seething. If we were in a cartoon, smoke would have been coming out of her ears. "Listen here and listen good, Gabriella. I want you to stay away from Troy."
Anna really thought she could threaten me. Troy and I have been neighbors since we were 13. He's also one of my really good friends. If she thought I was going to stop talking to him, then she was out of her mind.
"What if I don't?" I challenged.
"Then I'll get even. I wonder how much fun Eric and I will have if we snuck off one day."
"You wouldn't dare."
Anna smiled, tauntingly. "Are you actually testing me, Gabriella?"
"God, I cannot believe Troy is dating such a whore." I ground out.
Anna scoffed, "I'm not a whore."
"Whore." I repeated. "Whore, whore, whore!"
That's when Anna lost it. She pushed me. For someone so skinny, she did push me pretty hard. I mist give credit when credit is due, I suppose.
I was actually going to be the bigger person and walk away. I turned around and everything. Yup, I was going to pretend like she didn't violate my personal space and put her hands on me. But I just couldn't do it. Before I could even take a breath, my fist connected to her nose.
"Bitch." I said, once she was on the ground. Yeah, so being the bigger person isn't my thing.
See, she put her hands on me, which gave me the right to hit her back. Was a punch all that necessary? Not exacty, but who cares? As I said before, she deserved it.
But as always, Troy goes and chews me out. We always argue when it comes to Anna.
"I get that you don't like her, but come on, punching her. Don't you think you took it too far?" Troy asked me, later over the phone. Anna and I had to leave the school grounds because Principal Matsui has a "no violence" policy.
I nodded, even though Troy couldn't see me. "Yeah, but it's not like I'm going to apologize to her. She deserved it."
"Why?"
"She pushed me." I replied.
"And why did she push you?"
"Because I called her a whore."
Troy sighed, disapprovingly. He hated when I called Anna a whore. He was hoping his girlfriend and his friend would get along perfectly. Well he hoped wrong.
After a minute or two of silence, Troy finally spoke up, "Brie, why'd you call her a whore?"
I didn't want to tell him that Anna said she'd sleep with my boyfriend. "I may have not-so-subtly implied that you and I had sex. She said something else. I can't really remember what it was, but I called her a whore."
"Now, why on earth would you imply that we had sex?"
"Because she's so freaking needy and insecure. It was funny to see the look on Anna's face." Yeah, once the words came out of my mouth, I realized the plan wasn't so smart.
"Just don't do it again." Troy said, in a tired voice. "For my fucking sanity please just, stay away from Anna.
"No promises."
So, after a few more minutes of talking to Troy on the phone, I had to go. I had boxing class to go to. My parents said I was skating on thin ice. I take boxing lesson + I punched someone = no bueno. And when I come home, this is when I find you. So diary, you're all caught up to speed on the day's events. I'm tired, and I'm going to bed. Goodnight!
April 11
Dear Iridessa,
My mom has officially gone off the deep end with my supposed anger issues. Today at breakfast, she actually suggested that I take up knitting. KNITTING! You'd swear I stabbed Anna in the face the way my mom is reacting.
As soon as the suggestion left her mouth, I started laughing.
"What's so funny?" Mom asked, curious as to why I was laughing.
Once I was able to talk without laughing, I said, "Mom, I'm not 81. Knitting is for old people."
"No." Mom argued. "I knit."
Because you're old, I thought. I would never actually say that out loud, though. My mom would kill me if I called her old. She's 44. She's on the other side of life, now.
"Mom, I'm not knitting."
"I think you need an outlet for your anger."
"I box." I reminded her. "I'm good at boxing."
Mom shook her head, "Yeah, and look at where your boxing lesson got you. You punched a girl in the face."
"But she pushed me." I justified. "I had the right to hit her back."
My dad, Greg, looked up from the newspaper he was reading, and turned to my mom. "Sweetheart, you're taking it too far." Yay dad. "I don't really think Gabriella needs to knit."
I shot my dad a grateful look, "See? Daddy agrees with me."
Mom frowned, "Fine. No knitting for Gabriella."
I looked at my watch. I stood up. "I gotta go. I'm picking Sharpay up today."
"Bye sweetie. See you later."
"Bye mom. Bye dad."
April 11
Dear Iridessa,
Ok, I really shouldn't be writing in my diary, because I'm in my statistics class. Standard deviation is ridiculously easy to me, so I don't need to pay attention, technically.
My best friend, Taylor keeps staring at me. She cares a lot more about math than I do.
So I look over and say, "Yes Tay."
"What are you doing?" Taylor asks.
I showed her the diary. "My mom has been talking to your mom a bit too much."
"Why?"
"She gave this to me yesterday and said I have anger issues. Nicole told her to get me a diary."
Taylor's shaking her head right now. See, this is why Taylor and I get along so well. Our mothers are very...eccentric.
"My mother is forever Dr. Nicole McKessie, psychologist." Taylor shoots me a look of pity. "I'm going to have to talk to her."
I shake my head, "Talking to my mother is like talking to a brick wall. She's a Taurus."
"Well maybe my mom can have her 86 the diary thing."
"My mom also suggested knitting." I add.
Taylor gasps, "I'm so sorry, Gabs."
"So am I."
April 12
Dear Iridessa,
Eric has been acting extremely weird towards me, lately. The past three weeks, we have barely spoken to each other. It's not like he has anything better to do. Football season was over a month ago. And he was always complaining about us never spending time together. Now, he all the fucking free time in the world, and we don't see each other.
Sharpay says it's because his mom doesn't like me. Who cares? Linda Philips is just a bitter old hag! She's had it out for me ever since she caught Eric and I almost having sex in his bedroom three months ago. Yeah, its not a great first impression, but whatever. I apologized. And get this, she actually likes Anna. Who in their right freaking mind likes Anna. Sometimes I don't even think Troy likes her. Love? Eh, maybe. Like? Not really.
Anna and Linda are one in the same, I guess. No wonder the like each other. I can't stand either one of them. Linda can scowl at me all she wants, but Eric loves me-even though he has never said it out loud. I'm not anywhere, so she can suck it! In your face, Linda.
My mother would be so proud that I am "expressing all this bottled up anger". Anger that is completely nonexistent, mom.
Maybe I should call Eric and ask him why he isn't talking to me. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I left him at a party, drunk a few days ago. I'll be right back, Iridessa.
Ok, I'm back. He didn't answer. His phone sent me straight to voicemail, so his phone is turned off, or his battery is dead. I'll try again later.
Oh joy, my mom just walked in.
April 13
I finally got in touch with Eric. He said he had lost his phone and the battery was dead. He also said he wants to take me out tomorrow, and that we should talk. Its urgent.
"What if he wants to propose to you?" Sharpay suggested.
What a ridiculous suggestion. "We're only 16.. We can't get married."
"Maybe he's giving you a promise ring. Something with your birthstone, like a big, turquoise ring, engraved with his initials." Sharpay continued. "Zeke needs to buy me something like that."
"I don't want a promise ring." I told my friends, defiantly. "Gross."
Sharpay frowned, "Why not?"
"I'm 16. I don't want to feel tied down. And we've only been dating for 4 months."
"You're longest relationship." Taylor pointed out.
Yeah, I'm not exactly known for my relationship stability. I get bored easily and break up with guys quicker than we get together. I blame my mother for conceiving in February, knowing I'd be born in December. We Sagittariuses are known for being care-free, social butterflies, and flighty behavior. Not for being relationship experts.
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want a promise ring from him. Those are for people who know they're going to be in a relationship for a long time. I'm thinking A-to-B, not A-to-Z."
Sharpay spoke up, "Well you can subtly mention that turquoise looks really good against your skin tone."
Oh Sharpay, you and your materialistic ways.
April 13
Iridessa, I FUCKING HATE GUYS! Eric broke up with me. He said that it was time we went our separate ways and focus on ourselves.
Here's how the worst night of my life went down:
Eric took me to The Cheesecake Factory. (One of my favorite restaurants. Their vanilla bean cheesecake is to die for)
I noticed Eric kept twiddling his thumbs. He always twiddled his thumbs when he was nervous. For a second, I thought he was going to give me a promise ring. I was grateful we sat close to the door, just in case I had to get up and run out.
"Are you alright?" I asked him.
Eric nodded, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I'm with my beautiful girlfriend."
"Well you're such a charmer, Eric." I complimented. "My sister is flying in for my mom's birthday. You want to be my date?"
"I can't." Eric replied.
"Oh, ok. You're probably going to be-"
"I think we should break up." Eric announced, cutting me off.
What the hell? Break up? No way!
"Excuse me?" I said after a few moments of silence.
"I just don't think we're meshing. We are two completely different people. You're so focused on your goals and we don't fit." Eric explained. "It's not-"
"Don't you even think about saying "It's not you, it's me.". I hate that."
"I'm sorry."
"Did your mother put you up to this?" I asked.
"Why are you thinking about my mother right now? I'm talking about us."
"There is no us!" I snapped. "You broke us up four minutes ago!"
Eric looked around the resturaunt. People were staring at us. I guess my little outburst was a lot more entertaining than their menus.
"Can you keep your voice down, Gabriella?"
I grabbed my napkin from out of my lap and threw it at Eric's face. "Bye, Eric." I grabbed my purse and got up from my seat.
"Wait!" Eric called out. I turned around. "How are you getting home?"
"I'll take a cab."
I was walking off when I heard Eric say, "Goodnight, Gabs." I flipped him off and kept walking.
Single club: 1 member
And now, here I am. Sitting in my bedroom, crying, watching Single Ladies reruns on Vh1, and eating chocolate chip cookie dough. At least I have my teacup maltese, Aspen, to keep me company. At least he loves me. Like Ramona from Mob Wives once said, "Screw men. Let's all get puppies." I hate Ramona, but that was good advice.
"You love me, right Aspen?" I ask him. Aspen looks up and barks. "Thank you. I love you too."
April 19
Dear Iridessa,
I know it's been like a week since I've written in here, but my life has been pretty uneventful. Until yesterday, that is.
My English teacher sent Troy and I to the library to get a set of books. It was the middle of class so no one was in the hallway, save a few janitors cleaning, and teachers coming in an out of the teacher's lounge.
We were walking when I saw to people making out behind the staircase. Nothing new, but something about the girl caught my attention. The girl had ombré highlights. Anna has ombré highlights. And she couldn't have been making out with her boyfriend, because he was standing right next to me.
"Brie, are you coming?" Troy asked me.
I pointed to the couple making out. "Is that Anna?"
Troy looked over and his eyes widened. My question was answered.
Before I knew it, Troy had walked over to the two and pulled them apart.
"Troy!" Anna said. She was clearly shocked.
Troy pointed to Eric, "Him? Really? Out of all the people in the world, you pick him? Gabriella's boyfriend."
"Ex." I had muttered under my breath. No one seemed to hear me.
Anna grabbed Troy's shoulder. "Baby, calm down. Let's not make a scene."
Troy jerked his shoulder away from Anna's touch. "Don't you fucking touch me! You disgust me."
"I disgust you?"
"You're cheating on me. With Eric! You're disgusting. We are through." And then Troy walked off.
It was my turn. I turned to Eric. "Is this why you broke up with me? So you wouldn't feel bad about fucking her?"
Eric gave me a meek nod, "Yeah."
I shook my head, "You two deserve each other." I turned to Anna. "And to think Troy always defended you when I called you a whore. I was right."
Single club: 2 members
Troy's sitting next to me. We are in his basement feeling sorry for ourselves. We have been here for like 8 hours. On the bright side, Troy's mom made us sugar cookies. I ate all of them.
I should change the name of the Single Club to the Pity Party Club, because we are pathetic. I feel really bad for Troy. For some odd reason, he really did love Anna. Something about her, made him happy, for reasons that I will NEVER understand. Anna is scum, and so is Eric. I hope they get STDs. No actually, I hope they get STIs, since no one says sexually transmitted diseases anymore. When did that change?
Troy's staring at me, now. He's been staring at pictures of Anna for the past 51 minutes. I'm shocked he was able to look away.
"What?"
"Nothing. Our lives just suck right now."
Psh! Preaching to the choir. "I know. My boyfriend and your girlfriend. When we're 21, let's not run off to Las Vegas, because we have horrible luck."
"I just can't believe Anna would do that."
"I've been calling her a whore for 18 months. You should believe it."
"Can you not bash her every five minutes?"
"No, no I can't."
"Today is Friday, right?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"My aunt and uncle are coming to visit. Guess who got stuck with babysitting duty?"
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"I said that you'd help me."
Say what? Babysitting? Iridessa, remind me to kick Troy's ass when I get the chance. I hate babysitting. I did once when I was 14 and the little girl, Kate, locked me out of the house and wouldn't let me in. I tried to come in through the window, but I got stuck. Then Kate called the police on me. God, I hated that little girl.
"Troy, I'm not going to babysit with you."
"Please? You love me."
"I don't think I love you that much, Troy."
"Pretty, pretty please?"
"Fine, I'll do it."
"Thanks."
"You owe me."
April 21
I'm a mess. A complete and utter mess. You wanna know why I am a mess?
1) I got dumped a week ago
2) I found out my ex was screwing my friend's girlfriend
3) A 13 year old said he wants me to have his babies
4) Said 13 year old kissed me...on the mouth and grabbed my butt
5) A toddler threw up on me
6) My mom thinks I'm a freaking short tempered, angry shrew
7) I've gained 5 pounds ever since Eric dumped me (but I think I gained it in my boobs, so it's a plus)
I am sitting in Troy's bathroom, crying over my shitty life right now. I should have never agreed to do this stupid babysitting gig with Troy. His little cousin Tyler has been hitting on me ever since I got here. He has called me: hot, sexy, pretty, cute, and adorable. He even said I'm "smushable". Smushable! What is this, Jersey Shore? Who says stuff like that? Then out of nowhere, he kissed me. On the mouth. I think he tried to shove his tongue down my throat.
I pushed him away and told him to leave me alone, or I'd kick him in his you-know-where. He left me alone after that.
So after the whole Tyler debacle, I focused my attention on his little sister, Rita. She's really cute, but she can't really hold her food down. No one decided to tell me that. So I'm just burping her, after I fed her and she throws up on me. And not even a little bit. A lot! Troy gave me one of his shirts and told me to fix myself up. Thanks Troy, for implying that I look a mess. You rock! Anyway, that's why I am sitting in his bathroom, crying.
Troy just came into the bathroom. Here I'll write down our conversation as it happens.
Troy: Brie, why are you crying?
Me:I'm crying because my life sucks. I got dumped, thrown up on, and sexually assaulted by your 13 year old cousin.
Troy: I'll make Tyler apologize
Me: I don't need an apology. What I need is to switch bodies with someone who isn't sitting on a toilet, crying their eyes out.
Troy hands me a tissue. I wipe my eyes.
Troy: You're life could be worse. You could be dead. Or dying.
Me: Troy, you aren't helping me, at all.
Troy: Sorry. Let's look on the bright side of life.
Me: Ok.
Troy: You're smart.
He's right. I have a 3.9 GPA.
Me: Yeah, you're right.
Troy: Both you're parents are alive. That's a good thing.
Me: That's an excellent thing
Troy: You are really pretty
Me: Please. Look at me. I'm a mess. I have mascara and eyeliner running down my face, and my eyes are red and puffy.
Troy: I think you're still beautiful, Montez.
Me: Thank you. You aren't so bad looking, yourself.
Troy keeps leaning towards me. I think he's trying to take my pen out of my hand. No way. I've got a lot of venting to-
April 22: 12:08 A.M.
Iridessa,
I have another thing to add to my list of things going wrong in my life.
8) Troy kissed me.
No! You do not, I repeat, DO NOT kiss your friends. It is an unwritten rule and you just don't break The Official Unwritten Rules of Friendship. You need to take the O.U.R.F seriously.
That's why he kept leaning in towards me. Not because he was taking my pen away, but because he wanted to kiss me. It shocked the hell out of me. When he pulled away, I got up and bolted out of his house. My brain went on autopilot. I didn't even know where I was driving to until I made it home. I've been ignoring his calls ever since.
Why would he kiss me? What would possess him to put his lips on mine? We both just got out of relationships. I am NOT going to be a rebound girl.
I know it's midnight, and I am exhausted, but I can't sleep. Too much is on my mind. Who can sleep after having such a weird day? Not Gabriella Montez.
I think I'm just going to go downstairs, and watch the entire first season of Gossip Girl on Netflix since I've been hit with insomnia.
Plus, there is a plate of chocolate fudge brownies downstairs. I should really practice self control and not eat every time I get stressed out or depressed. Eh, I'll practice it in May. Goodnight!
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