I am back!... anyways here is story 4 to the five things series. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did writing it.

Also, I would like to dedicate this fic to a few people who helped inspire this story.

LyndseyRyder12

Good Boy-chan

My sister/editor Megan

and Nightquill

Happy Reading!

"Santa I need some advice." Kakashi said looking out into the falling snow (wait has it ever snowed in Konoha?) Oh well he thought, as he turned his attention back to Santa.

"If it's about that rash there is nothing Santa can do, you're just going to have to get tested."

"No that's not it." Kakashi sighed, "but while we're on that subject, are you sure?" Santa just nodded and Kakashi continued. "What do I do? I want to outshine the other teams, but my team just keeps sucking harder and harder. It's such a bummer, and just when I think they can't go any lower, Poof! They do it's embarrassing, and to be honest Santa I don't think I can take it anymore."

"What about taking care of that student that becomes a homicidal maniac? I really think that should be your first priority"

"Oh don't worry, I gave him a lighter."

"Oh good so now he can become a homicidal maniac who likes to set things on fire?"

Kakashi was pretty sure Santa was being sarcastic. "Yeah well….. I don't have a lot of free time."

"You didn't really think this plan through did you?"

"No Santa." He hung his head sadly.

"Hmmm." Santa said thoughtfully. "Kakahsi you're a brilliant man, you always have been but, the approach you must take with your students is simple and right in front of you."

Kakashi perked up. "You're right Santa, I must kill them!"

"No Kakashi." Santa quickly intervened. "You mustn't kill them, however, you must put your pettiness aside, and maybe instead of trying to change your students and one up everybody you should, oh I don't know, maybe try to prevent that Great Ninja War coming up. Or save Saskue from a life of pain and loneliness." Santa sighed, this seemed like a lot of work. "Kakashi, If you took half the time you spent on making time machines and reading porn you alone could make a huge difference. If you spend your life living in a future then how can you ensure the present will give you that future. Even right now your wasting your time talking to a illusion in your head that might give you rabies. Again. You must try to make your own path. Encourage your students to be better for themselves, not to prove you're better then everyone else. If that is how we teach our students then why even bother. We might as well lock our students in supply closets and spray them with bear mace because honestly if one's life is chosen by another then it's like a swift kick in the nutsack from the universe. Do you understand Kakashi?"

"Not at all Santa." Kakashi sighed.

"There he goes again." Kiba observed, watching Kakashi talk intently to a not so playful and very rabid squirrel he had found. His teammate Shino nodded in agreement. Everything had been a crazy lately. People were dying, having their beards shaved at random, there were strange noises coming from supply closets, and the bare mace store was running dangerously low.

However team Kurenai had been told by their sensei to simply stay out of it. Do not get in the cross fire. She has insisted, and above all else stay away from everyone. It was good advice, and the team had not suffered any damage. Shino and Kiba were still watching Kakashi in morbid fascination when they spotted their other shy teammate, Hinata, slowly approaching them.

"He..Hey guys." She whispered softly, taking a place next to Shino.

"Hey Hinata, what's up?" Kiba asked, watching as a swollen face Neji attempted to kick Guy's butt. Huh, he really was allergic to coconuts.

"No…nothing really, just Naruto has been saying his stupid.. I mean his new catch phrase around me a lot." She sighed. "I'm not sure if it's better than his old one."

"Yeah, you think if we killed him, he'd stop?." Kiba asked. Akamaru barked in agreement while the rest of his team nodded their heads.

A strange girlish laugh came from the trees behind them, and a dark figure poked his head out from behind one of the trees. Shino raised his eyebrows and looked closer at the strange person.

"Is that Batman?" He asked after getting a better look. Sure enough there was Batman giggling behind the tree and occasionally popping his head out to stare at them.

Hinata sighed. "Yeah, I think he's been staking me." She said shyly.

"Did you not think to tell anyone?" Kiba asked, watching Batman pull out the next Issue of Naruto from his belt and gleefully open the front cover.

"No, I thought that it was a small problem compared to what we've been seeing around here."

Batman suddenly turned and waved excitedly at them. He pointed to his issue of Naruto and then at them, almost fainting from the fandom "He must be a huge fan. Why doesn't he come over here?" Shino asked watching him closely as he flipped trough the manga intensly.

"Speaking of being fans of things." Kiba began excitedly, pulling out a black lap top, showing that just because they were ignoring the chaos did not mean they were not taking advances of the time machine perks. "My Fanfiction has gotten 100 hits and over 20 reviews since yesterday, isn't that awesome!" He said proudly showing his work to his teammates.

Shino simply snorted. "I bet most of them are critical reviews because you can't spell or use commas, and the rest are pity reviews."

Kiba snorted loudly. "You're just jealous of my artistic gift." Clicking a few buttons he opened the story to show them.

"Huh, a Sakura-Kakashi fic, very nice!" Shino said nodding in approval.

Kiba gushed. "Well someone has to do it, I mean it's not like they will be together in the series." Kiba's voice took on a sulking tone as he thought about this, and returned his attention to Kakashi and the now foamed faced snarling squirrel.

"Oh well this is what we have Fanfiction and Archive Of Our Own for." Hinata spoke up softly as she updated her Facebook statues from 'single' to 'being staked by Batman'.

"Besides, in the end, you know what the most important thing is?" Kiba said putting his arm around his teammates.

"Friendship?" Shino said.

"Love?" Hinata added.

"Hell no, the internet, the internet is the most important thing, because, even if your not a part of the main action you can simply add yourself anywhere you want." Kiba said very firmly.

"My favorite part is how you can add ridiculous characters to a story that has noting to do with the main plot. " Hinata added happily. She looked up as Batman came over and handed her a red lollipop. "Mmmmm, cherry, my favorite." She said cheerfully waving goodbye to Batman.

"Or super hot girl on girl parings." Shino concluded.

They all then nodded and shouted. "All hail the internet!"