This little idea developed in another story, but it just didn't fit. I didn't want to erase or ignore it, because I like how it lets Touya be sensitive without being mushy. Who knows? I might be inspired to expand it into its own complete story eventually.
For now, this little snippet is set about seven years in the future (Eriol's about seventeen and Touya is about twenty-four). As seems to happen with most of my Card Captor Sakura stories, ever since Sakura became powerful enough to sustain his existence, Yue has returned Touya's magic to him. Fujitaka can now work magic himself, ever since Sakura split the power of Clow between Eriol and her father.
This isn't meant to be an Eriol X Touya story. Touya is simply being the wonderful big brother that Eriol needs.
The setting is simple. Eriol is at the Kinomoto residence for a visit when he receives a phone call.
The Kaho Connection
Touya entered his father's study looking for a book. He had just spied it on the desk when something made him look toward the oversized chair by the window that was his father's favorite.
"Eriol! What's wrong?!"
The young man sat with crossed legs and regal stiffness, like a king on a throne. There was no physical sign of the distress oppressing the atmosphere of the room. Eriol looked into Touya's eyes and realized he couldn't simply brush Touya's concern off. Touya somehow knew something was wrong.
"I could hide this from the others...except for Fujitaka, I suppose..." Eriol began in a calm voice, "...but it seems I can't conceal it from you..."
He looked up at Touya. Suddenly Touya was forcefully reminded that even though Eriol held part of an ancient soul and commanded potent and irresistible magic, Eriol was still simply a young man. That young man was suffering.
"Kaho is leaving...has left me," Eriol told him evenly, "I just spoke with her. She will be gone when I return home."
Touya had seen Eriol's eyes smile, laugh, shine with concern and gentleness, sparkle with power, brim with wisdom...he had never seen them fill with tears before. One tear spilled.
Touya sat on the edge of the seat next to Eriol, grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into his lap. Eriol curled into the comfort Touya offered and broke down.
"I thought...splitting my power...as Clow wanted, would help me to find the happiness...and love...Clow never did..." Eriol sobbed, muffling his grief against Touya's shoulder.
"Kaho is cold," Touya said, "It's not you..."
"She knew I would always be much younger than her...in appearance. Why does it make such a difference to her now?!"
"There's no way either of us can understand that, Eriol. It's just something about Kaho," Touya pulled Eriol tighter to him, wishing he could offer some of the acceptance he had found when Kaho had done the same thing to him.
"Why does it hurt so much?!" Eriol's voice was miserable.
"Because you gave your heart, the one part of you that you can't protect with power or magic and she stepped on it," Touya said, "Your heart will cry, want to shrivel and die for a while and then...slowly face that life goes on without her. In time, your heart will smile, laugh and yes, even love again," Touya told him.
Eriol shivered.
"That...had the force of magic to it," he wondered.
"I believe the heart is the most magical part of a person," Touya replied.
"That..." Eriol suddenly beamed up at him, "That may be the truest thing anyone has ever said about magic! No wonder you can alter my spells!"
Touya watched with sympathy, as Eriol's fresh misery washed the happiness from his eyes.
"Kaho!" he moaned.
Touya forced Eriol's head to his chest as he would have done with Sakura when she was little and needing comfort from her "onii-chan". Unlike those times when he tried to comfort his little sister, Touya cast a spell. Eriol fell asleep on his lap. Touya stretched out in the large chair, seeking a comfortable position for both himself and Eriol, while he pondered.
"It's not a cure, more like a Band-Aid, but I think I can do something to help you," Touya whispered. He sat still for long moments, shaping the magic of his own heart, then kissed Eriol's cheek in the same way he would have kissed Sakura's.
Touya held the sleeping young man and wondered why such simple human contact was such a powerful anodyne for grief. His father entered the room and walked over. Touya brought in his legs as if to stand and give up the chair to his father.
"No, you stay," Fujitaka whispered with a smile. He dragged up another chair.
"You cast a spell on him," Fujitaka continued.
"Two actually. A sleep spell..."
"And...?" his father smiled.
"And...I tried to give him some of the acceptance I found over time from when Kaho left me..." Touya tried to explain.
"Ah, that is what I felt. Why?"
"Kaho dumped him," Touya told him.
"Really?! I wonder why?"
"Eriol mentioned something about his appearing too young," Touya offered.
"That would not be reasonable," Fujitaka
noted.
"It's the explanation she gave. Eriol
will have to live with it," Touya remarked, "He doesn't want
the others to know. He said he could hide this from them, but not
from you and, I guess, not from me."
"You are sensitive to matters of the heart," Fujitaka agreed, "By the way, your spell did help. He still has to work everything out on his own, but you've given him something to rely on when his own composure breaks. I'm pleased. That was not an easy spell and I know it will bring some of your own feelings about Kaho's rejection of you up again..."
"That's okay. That was years ago and I have Yuki and Yue now," Touya told him.
"True! But come and talk if you need to," Fujitaka offered.
"Now, about Eriol," Fujitaka turned his attention from his son to his soul's twin, "It's so odd to feel fatherly toward him! He's more of the ancient Clow than I am, even though he shared his power with me."
"You know, dad, I've been meaning to ask..." Touya hesitated.
"Go on. I think I know what you want to know," his father smiled.
"When Eriol did that, asked Sakura to give you half of Clow's power...it gave you Clow's memories too," Touya said. Fujitaka smiled.
"How...? That is...? How much of Clow are you...?" Touya faltered.
"I think I can explain. Eriol's memories of being Clow are first-hand, direct experiences. Mine are...dimmer, like my memories of things that happened in my childhood. They are slightly remote. In that way, Eriol is more of Clow than I am. My life as Fujitaka, this life, is more immediate, it overrides the earlier life of Clow. Eriol has lived, and will continue to live this life as if he is all of Clow, with full memories reborn into Eriol. He is Eriol, but, in a way, he is also still Clow," Fujitaka told him, "It's a burden I really can't help him with..."
"And now Kaho has added to it," Touya noted.
"Yes."
"Unfeeling...!"
Fujitaka smiled as he interrupted, "I know the word you want to use! Perhaps she had her reasons."
"At least with me, she dumped me face to face," Touya commented bitterly, "She didn't even give him that."
"Perhaps, if it were face to face, she couldn't have done it," Fujitaka responded.
They fell silent, considering the sleeping young man again.
"Maybe I should take a vacation and visit with Eriol in England for a while," Touya finally said.
"If you could, I'm sure it would help. I can't help him with this, Touya-kun," Fujitaka reached forward to brush the hair out of Eriol's face, "But perhaps you can."
"Clow would brood when his feelings were hurt. Keep Eriol from being alone too much," Fujitaka advised, "Perhaps Sakura can do without Yue and Yukito for a bit too. I can't see anyone being sad for too long around Yukito's cheerfulness! After all, Yuki-usagi keeps you cheerful!" Fujitaka teased.
Touya smiled. A vacation in England with Yukito... They could ask Eriol to be their guide and show them the sights during the day and keep him from rattling around his manor all alone at night. Oh...wait. Eriol didn't live all alone!
"Nakuru is there!" Touya realized.
Fujitaka laughed, "Yes! Well, you will have Yukito with you. I'm sure that will help keep Nakuru's exuberance down! Although, I'm sure Nakuru would be willing to help too. Eriol is Ruby Moon's Master after all! Perhaps, a bit of silliness will help Eriol."
Touya groaned, "I guess I have no choice! Eriol better appreciate the sacrifice I'm about to make for him!"
"I'm sure he will, Touya-kun. Help him through this, please. For me?" Fujitaka asked.
"No, Otoosan," Touya shook his head. Fujitaka looked up into Touya's eyes in complete, stunned amazement. Touya had never denied any of his father's requests before!
"I'll do it for him," Touya finished.
"Then...it will be all right," Fujitaka claimed.
Touya looked at his father sourly, "That's Sakura's line!"
Fujitaka smiled, patted Touya's knee and stood up, "I'll ask Yukito to come and talk with you, so you can plan your trip."
He left. In the moments before Yukito bounded down the stairs, Touya looked down into Eriol's sleeping face. Touya felt an echo of the bitterness he'd felt when Kaho had dumped him. Eriol would hurt even worse than he had, Touya realized. Eriol and Kaho's relationship was much longer and probably deeper. Which made the remote and cowardly way Kaho had ended it even harder to bear.
"I'll help you through it!" Touya promised, hugging Eriol tighter, "You won't have to bear it all alone!"
~end~