Normally, I don't like Annabeth playing the whole 'damsel in distress' role, but I feel she might have some doubts about rushing off to find Percy right now. She cares a lot about him, and wants to find him, but she hasn't lost herself. She still tries to think logically. I've found sometimes you don't realize how you really feel about something until it's staring you right in the face, and just going around acting like others expect you to. This is also about 'everything is not as it seems.' Annabeth gives off an air of power, of strength. But, like Clarrisse, there is a deeper person hidden inside. In the Lost Hero, Jason said she looked like she wanted to kill him. In truth, she was just frusterated, and scared for Percy. She was defending herself the only way she knew how. When she first meets Percy in the Lightning Thief, she is not warlike or antagonistic- she's defensive. She's been hurt in the past and is trying to prevent it. However, they do form a bond and later a relationship. Percy has been the constant in the life since Luke's betrayal. Her constant is now one. She's the same person, just a little mixed up and definatly scared. With this in mind, Enjoy.
It was seventy degrees, but I was cold. I get cold sometimes, but not like this. This wasn't an external cold, biting my nose and whipping at my cheeks. This was an internal cold, a dreaded feeling that ran through my veins and consumed me in ice. It wasn't something you could see if you looked at me. You wouldn't be able to see color rising to my cheeks, or my breath steam out, or a slight shiver run through my body. It was an invisible monster.
There was a light breeze that barely tousled the leaves of the great trees that hung low over the whispering lake; but to me, it was the North Wind tearing through me like a hurricane.
I was at camp, my favorite place in the world and I was lost.
This was the only place I'd ever felt accepted and I felt so alone.
This was the first place that had ever felt like a real home to me.
But even then, I hadn't realized how much I should appreciate it. It wasn't until one person showed me the true beauty of the place, the beauty that I had been immune to for five years.
Percy.
The guy I had cared for.
The guy I had befriended.
The guy who had beat me in a fight, which was an extremely rare occurrence.
The guy I had shared my first kiss with.
The guy I had fallen in love with.
And still falling, falling into the endless abyss that was his heart. I had never resented that, I had always found the experience to surpass the best that Elysium could ever offer. I loved falling, for I knew that I could never reach the bottom. So kind, so loyal, an endless sea of eternal love.
Gods, I thought, now I sound like those romance novels the Aphrodite kids are always shoving in my face.
But I meant it. I knew I would always mean it. That time was so incredible; words could never describe the pure ecstasy that I was in.
When winter hit, the storms lashing at my dorm window, I could simply look at a picture of Percy and get lost at sea,* the scene before me would melt away into the calm sea-green eyes that I could drown in. (As if Percy would ever let me drown.)
Percy, the guy I'd cared for, befriended, fought, kissed, and fallen in love with.
Percy, who we would be heading towards at dawn tomorrow.
People assumed that that I would anxious, goading people to go faster, wanting to leave as soon as possible. And, in truth, I assumed the same thing myself.
Actually, I was dreading it.
I had spent so much time, exerting so much energy on the Argo II and finding Percy, I left none to reflect upon my actions. Everything came to an apparent halt within and the realizations dawned on me as the sun began to set.
The moment I have been waiting for six long months is nearing and I'm dreading it.
People assumed I've been packed for weeks, but I never did. I assumed that I would prefer to wait so I wouldn't be uselessly sitting around when the time came.
They were wrong.
I was wrong.
People assumed I had been planning for months. The route we would take, how we would approach the Roman camp, and how best to negotiate peace when we arrived. What with Jason's slow returning memory, I thought it strategic to wait until we more information before drawing up a plan. But, as Jason's memory improved, and he fed me details of the Roman camp, I procrastinated. I had plenty of what I needed, but I procrastinated.
Everyone, including me, assumed I would never, ever, procrastinate.
People assumed I would be in the midst of the last minute preparations, directing campers.
I assumed I would be throwing myself into everything, adrenaline pounding in my ears.
But as I took a deep breath, the energy flooded out of me, and I found myself here, dangling my feet off the dock of the lake. For some time, I'd been avoiding bodies of water. Even a puddle reminded me of him. Of Percy. Now, I let memories of him wash over me, caressing me, comforting me.
Him stumbled his way into the Hermes cabin for the first time. Him appearing before at Circe's island, embarrassed I had to save him from a hamster cage. Him whispering urgently to Bianca, trying to get her and Nico to safety while Dr. Thorn spoke, right before I rammed into him. Him appearing as I lit his burial shroud, weakened but perfectly safe, healthy, and alive. Him worrying over me, telling me his greatest physical weakness as I was recovering from my shoulder wound.
He really was cute when he was worried.
One more breath and true reality of our situation crashed down on me.
He may not have these memories. He may not remember me. He may not remember us. He may not ever remember himself. And, as your experiences make you who are, he may not be Percy. I mean, he'll be Percy, but he may not be Seaweed Brain. There's a good chance he'll be a completely different person, and that thought terrified me. I'd fought monsters, been tortured, and watched my friends die; I'd held up the freaking SKY.
Percy not being Percy scared and pained me worse than all of that put together.
People assume that I am strong, brave, and powerful. The hero of Olympus, Annabeth Chase could be frightened by nothing and no one.
I always assumed that Percy could never hurt me, never scare me, that it was simply physically impossible for him.
Everything was wrong.
And with that, I felt a single silent tear trickle down my face, tracing my cheekbone. I don't cry; it's a vulnerability I cannot afford. I try very hard to be the strong leader they all assume I m because I know they need it now more than ever.
My thoughts were interrupted as someone came up behind me, and I quickly wiped my tear away.
"Annabeth, there you are! What's up? I thought you'd be preparing for the quest."
"Never assume, Jason. It only leads to disappointment."
And Jason stopped short as I turned to face him. Maybe you can't see the cold, but I guess you can see the grief written on my face.
*Percy's eyes are described as 'sea-green,' so by 'lost at sea,' I mean something along the lines of 'lost in his eyes' or 'so consumed by him that she feels instantly better.'
Well, there you have it. I'm afraid the end was a bit of a forgone conclusion, and I'm terrified that I made her OCC. Please, if you have questions about some of my views (I know the way I phrase things can be a bit confusing), or concerns regarding anything you find unrealistic or improbable, or just plain wrong, review and I'll do my best to correct it. Thank you for taking your time to read this story.