Just because I loved that episode so much-just saw it :) Jackson Rathborn amazed me in it. And I loved Reid and how they brought back Tobias again. And of course my little plot bunnies just wouldn't stay quiet!
Prologue
Reid visited Amanda almost every week. He questioned her, and grilled her as he tried to bring back Adam. It was taking a toll on him. Morgan had noticed and told Reid it would be wise to stop.
"You don't owe anything to Adam," he told the kid. "Stop beating yourself up for something that's not in your control! You can't save everyone."
"But I can try," Reid retorted and Morgan didn't touch that subject again.
Reid stared at himself in the bathroom, hating his reflection.
"Kid, sooner or later you're gonna have to face we can't save everyone." Morgan's voice filtered through his head. Reid bit his lip. He knew it was true, but he couldn't believe it in that case.
He had to believe that Adam could be saved, for Tobias.
He flashed back to shooting Tobias.
"You killed him!"
"You think I'll see my mom again?"
"It helps with the pain..."
He swallowed.
"I'm sorry Tobias," he whispered as he wiped a tear from his eyes. "I'm so sorry." He had finally told Morgan the truth, but he knew Morgan really didn't understand. None of them understood. They didn't realize how personal this case was.
He had failed, yet again, to save someone. Someone who didn't deserve this fate.
"I'm so sorry Adam."
He stared at the bottles of the dilaudid
"The man drugged you and tortured you for two days."
"It helps with the pain."
He reached for the bottle and then pulled back.
No he was not going down that road again.
But the guilt. It wouldn't stop hammering at him.
He could have saved Adam.
And he didn't have to shoot Tobias.
He could have saved them both but didn't because he was weak.
If he was weak than why fight taking the drugs? That's what weak people do after all.
Tears in his eyes he took the needle.
More confident than usual he took more than he had in the past.
He slid into blackness as he body collapsed onto the bathroom floor with a needle sticking in his arm. It would be hours before a stranger walked into the FBI bathroom and found him.
The team would rush to the area. Morgan would race to the kid's body. Damn it he should have seen the signs! He should have known.
Hotch would stare at the kid, blame for himself circling in his eyes.
Rossi would also stare, in utter confusion and shock. He had not pictured Reid to be a drug addict.
All of them would stand there, in shock, knowing that things would never be the same again.
That Reid had changed them, forever.