Disclaimer: Star Trek and Voyager is sole property of Paramount. This story is just for re-creational purpose and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: A sequel to the episode "Counterpoint" inspired by the song "Come what may" out of the musical film "Moulin Rouge".

Counterpoint

–

by Marennaa

Chapter ONE

Kathryn plumbed into the chair. With her head leaning back she closed eyes and sighed. The last hour had demanded much more strength than she had expected. Of course, there had always been this small voice ringing in her head, telling her that Kashyk was lying throughout time. Yet wanting to believe him, she had desperately tried to ignore the voice. And why? Because he had kissed her. It was as simple as that. He had kissed her with passion, not with calculation – although he might have seen that advantage afterwards. Kashyk had lightened a flame inside her that has been glimmering all over the last years. He must have sensed her weakness, the one point where he could break through the barrier of Starfleet training and personal shields.

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before

The first lines of a not very well known; almost three hundred years old song entered her mind. How odd! Although she had not thought of this particular one for years and years, it entered her mind as clearly as if she had listen to it only yesterday. With her eyes still closed Kathryn drowned in the dear memories connected with it and unconsciously began humming the melody.

"You are a damn good actress, Kathryn."

A familiar yet totally unexpected voice broke the absolute silence in Voyager's briefing room and pulled Kathryn out of her stream of thoughts. She blinked several times before she could distinguish her First Officer's silhouette in the shadows of one corner. He came forward.

"I'm sorry for intruding your moment of peace but I thought it wiser to make my presence known."

"It's okay. It's just – you are the second man saying this within a few minutes."

He was the origin of her weakness, he was the sensitive point. Strange that he was here just as she thought about him. Chakotay. The constant in her life, the rock she clung to in times of trouble. She loved him, loved him deeply and this love had burst into bloom during Kashyk's kiss. If it just had been Chakotay's kiss….

Chakotay immediately noticed Kathryn's exhaustion. She was pale – and yet, the slightest touch of smile played in her features. Her eyes sparkled though not with adrenaline and excitement but with an internal peace he had rarely observed in his Captain – as if she had come to terms with something. When Kathryn reached these seldom moments of calmness and content, not struggling with the universe, not concerned with the fate of the crew, Chakotay loved her most. She was herself then. Kathryn touched a string in him and the string's vibrations made him feel alive.

For long seconds not a word was spoken between them. Still standing Chakotay watched Kathryn's collapsed form in the chair, taking in the loveliness of her face.

"I'm sorry he betrayed and hurt you, Kathryn." He said eventually.

"Betrayed and hurt me?"

Kathryn startled at his choice of words. Kashyk had played with the entire crew and with the telepaths. Could Chakotay possibly know about the more intimate moment she had shared with the Devor Inspector? "What do you mean?"

Chakotay knew he was on dangerous grounds but he had to know about her affections.

"You were attracted to him and he encouraged these feelings in order to gain your trust for his own selfish personal aims."

Kathryn smiled embarrassed. Had it really been so obvious?

"Don't worry. He never earned my trust and although his betrayal was not unexpected I was… very upset about it. But he did not hurt me."

Chakotay let out the breath he had held unconsciously. "It's good to hear that."

Kathryn supported her head with one hand, elbow propped on the conference table. Chakotay looked so very forlorn as he stood still rooted to the spot that Kathryn decided to impart some of her musings to him.

"Nobody else could ever replace you in my confidence, Chakotay."

Now it was his turn to look surprised. "Honestly?"

"Honestly. He tried to when…" She trailed off.

Chakotay's interest was raised and he took two unconscious steps forward. Now they would get to the heart of the matter. "When what?"

"He kissed me." She glanced directly into his eyes intending to observe every single reaction. "And I enjoyed it. Although, at the same moment I realised that it was just the feeling I was taking pleasure in. Not his kiss."

Chakotay was slightly taken aback. It was highly unusual for Kathryn to speak so frank and freely about her emotions – even to him. Or especially to him? Now that the stress and strain which had taken their toll on her slowly began to lift, she needed to talk. He knew that well by now. It helped her coming to terms with herself and to evaluate the situation and their actions. Nevertheless, concerning Kashyk, did this pattern apply as well? For the whole time Chakotay had wondered what had happened between the Captain and the Inspector. That the Inspector had tried to engulf her in some way was beyond any doubt. Kashyk was exactly the sort of men who could make himself agreeable to even his greatest enemy.

But to imagine Kathryn kissing Kashyk, seeing his hands upon her skin and his lips on hers... The mere thought made Chakotay sick. He did not feel jealousy which was strange because he probably should have. But deep down in his heart he knew that Kashyk was not the type of man Kathryn would deeply attach herself to.

It was not the kiss she actually took delight in. This statement was a complete enigma for Chakotay.

"So what did you enjoy about it?"

"Well," She started, stopped a bit embarrassed and averted her eyes. "This kiss forced me to realise something. An inevitable truth."

As if changing the topic she suddenly asked him. "Have you ever had a moment of absolute clarity and the truth comes to you like a slap into your face?"

"Hardly." Chakotay grinned on Kathryn's rhetorical figure. "When I need help sorting out confusing matters I always seek clarity in the world of spirits asking my father or spirit guide."

Kathryn thought about his words but did not reply. So Chakotay continued "Do you want to tell me what this truth is?"

She did not hesitate a second. "I'm incomplete, Chakotay. I thought I could do without a companion, but I simply can't. To be wanted or even better loved by someone felt so fantastic…"

"But Kashyk doesn't love you. I hope you realised that."

She nodded. Neither had she been interested in Kashyk's love. No, her love was right in front of her. But how should she tell him?

Another short period of silence followed. Chakotay sensed Kathryn wanted to say something but had to collect the courage necessary to do so. He suddenly realised what awkward place this was for such an intimate talk. The conference room. Kathryn sitting in her usual chair, himself standing beside her… Whenever they had opened up to the other one before, discussed very private matters they had done so in one of their quarters – or her ready room. However, now was not the time to point out this particular circumstance. Patiently Chakotay waited for Kathryn to continue.

"Actually, I… thought of someone else, imagined someone else to kiss me." She did not look at him when she finally spoke. She just couldn't although she would have liked to analyse his reaction.

"That didn't happen deliberately." Kathryn added as if she had to defend her actions. "Your picture just came to my mind and captivated me. I couldn't help it. And while I kissed Kashyk my thoughts were only with you."

Chakotay could have buried her in his embrace as he realised what Kathryn was saying. Yet he was too cautious a person for such an emotional outbreak and he knew her to be rather too slow than too fast in affairs of the heart.

Chakotay sat down in the chair next to her and his very gentle touch of her hand that lay in her lap sent a shiver down Kathryn's spine. She understood this gesture and lifted her eyes to his. They were the dark eyes she knew so well and loved so much.

"Are you serious?" He asked solemnly. "Do not play with me in this, Kathryn."

"I wouldn't dare, Chakotay, I wouldn't dare." For a few more moments their eyes did all the talking. The longer she stared into his ones, the surer she became. "I'm in dead earnest." In confirmation she squeezed his hand.

Their fingers intertwined while the faces drew nearer and nearer.