Roads Untraveled
He didn't have the time to go about mourning loss everyday for the rest of his life (despite that he somehow did). He should be able to force himself to think of something else, anything else, other than the horrible betrayal that lie in Charles unbelievably blue eyes. He had every good reason to leave Charles on that beach, every good reason why they couldn't go on being what they were. How they were. It wasn't betrayal; but then why did it feel like it?
Weep not for roads untraveled
Erik shouldn't feel a horrible loss at what they could have had, but he does. Maybe because he knows Charles is Charles and that means that he will cry over it For months. He'll probably never let Erik go and Erik knows Charles and so he knows this. Charles will always try to beg him to come home, will never blame him, and instead he'll always love Erik with that silly unconditional heart of his. It hurts worse than when he thought Charles might hate him. Now he wishes Charles would hate him becuase that would be a far kinder fate.
Weep not for paths left alone
For the first month, he'd melted every metal object within a mile of him, unable to control his rage. He fought with himself every moment of that month because he hadto know if Charles was okay. He had to know what happened. He just had to know.
'Cause beyond every bend
And then he wished he'd never wanted to know. He could have gone on forever not knowing what he had done...
His desire to see, to be sure, was clearly the worst thing he could have done. The moment his eyes had fallen on Charles in that accursed metal contraption (Metal. He couldn't believe it. Metal of all things.) and the look of pure joy that lit up the professors wonderfully blue and previously sullen eyes at the sight of Erik walking to the mansion was just unfair.
Is a long blinding end
He ran hastily the other way. Leaving Charles to look after him in longing, broken tears. Again.
It's the worst kind of pain
He no longer knew for sure what hurt worse. Was it Charles and his sad blue eyes, those same eyes looking at him like he was God? Or was it being able to feel every structure of metal that Charles leaned on, touched and caressed at such a close distance, the way the metal hummed and assured him that Charles trusted him?
The chair truly wasn't what had astounded him the most- rather, it was the metal bands encircling Charles wrists, familiar and hidden beneath his suit. He could feel them, the metal bracelets with Eriks initials that he had used his "groovy mutation" to create for Charles.
I've known
Charles resorted to throwing himself into the search for mutants. Maybe he hoped a little that he might find Erik, but he knew searching for Erik would be fruitless, the metalbender never removed that blasted helmet, even to sleep, and Charles knew that he would feel the familiar thread of their bond across the world, He would feel the old path into Eriks mind the moment the helmet was removed. Charles kept trying anyway; maybe he had always been just a bit stubborn.
Give up your heart left broken
It was resolutely decided by the household, that unless you wanted a pounding headache for the next week, Erik shouldn't be mentioned. Charles, of course, always apologized profusely but he couldn't always help it. He tried hard enough to keep his throughts off of Erik, he didn't need to have the thoughts to be brought about by having his name constantly didn't matter who told him that Erik was lost to them, Charles
would never stop hoping. It did seem to be his forte to believe in the impossible. then again, he'd seen a man lift a submarine from the water and crash it onto a beach without ever touching it. Convincing someone who was still in love with him- and despite not always wanting him to be, he knew that Erik was- to home home was surely nowhere near as impossible.
And let that mistake pass on
But Charles found he was also prone to lying to himself. It would be nearly a year before they spoke to each other again. Naturally, Erik's first words to Charles would be that he needed to stop waiting for Erik to come home like a soldier out to war.
"Erik Lehnsherr died in action. Give up."
Magneto used the bracelets to throw Charles away, But he didn't touch the chair.
'Cause the love that you lost
Charles spent nearly four days in his room without speaking to anyone, refusing to acknowledge the mental prods at him or the knocks of concern at the door of his mind. He didn't want to see anyone. He only wanted to mourn.
Wasn't worth what it cost
Everyone quickly learned to establish the difference between Erik and Magneto. They were not the same person, and in Charles' eyes they never would be. After all, Charles would never let Erik go but he would never willingly have anything to do with Magneto.
And in time you'll be glad it's gone
It was five years before there was a pull at the edge of his thoughts, shocking him out of sleep and sending him scrambling for their almost forgotten bond. He latched desperately to the old, familiar pathways of Erik's mind (not Magneto's, he didn't know what Magneto's mind was like at all). It was easy, like finally coming home.
Erik!
...Charles...
My friend...are you in trouble-?A sigh of worry eased itself over Erik's mind (one that caused the the desire to quell all of Charles worries to kindle in his chest).
There were no holds barred between them. He could see everything in Erik's mind and, in return, Erik could see everything Charles held in his own head.
Despite that he was unbelievably happy to be hearing and feeling Eriks presence again- Erik, not Magneto.- He had no idea how to go about speaking to him.
No...I just missed you, Charles.
There was a wash of relief between them. For over an hour, neither of them spoke, both content to feel whole again.
Weep not for roads untraveled
I missed you too, my friend. More than you know.
The reply was nearly an hour and a half late, but Erik didn't mind at all.
Weep not for sights unseen
I was afraid you'd turn me away.
Never, Erik. You're always welcome here. with me. With us. Always.
To Charles, Erik was not Magneto. Magneto was not Erik.
And Erik would always have a place in his heart, in his home. Beside him.
May your love never end
And if you need a friend
There's a seat here alongside me
Authors Notes: Beta'd by the lovely ButterflyFarie, who I hope to be working with more in the future. I'm totally adoring her. XD putting up with my horrible grammar and skipped mistakes. :)
