A.N: Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Obvs.
Enjoy the Christmas Outtakes of It's What Makes Us Human. Remember, this is kinda crucial to the plot.
Chapter 1 – We Wish You a Wombling Merry Christmas
"We wish you a Wombling Merry Christmas…"
Emmett's taste of Christmas music shouldn't have surprised me – but it did. He just didn't seem like the type of person to enjoy 'Wombling Merry Christmas' – but he obviously loved it as he bounced up and down in the front seat of the jeep, singing along at the top of his voice.
"All day long, we will be wombling in the snow… we wish you a Wombling Merry Christmas," the enthusiastic, childish vampire sang, grinning. I was silently amused by his display – Emmett's deep booming voice made the rocky music sound incredibly odd, but it somehow worked.
Since my foot had healed, and I'd found myself able to walk without injuring myself, I'd left the Cullen's crypt at every possible opportunity. It wasn't that I disliked their home – quite the opposite, I loved the large mansion – it was just that I'd seen more than enough of it in the past couple of weeks.
That was the excuse I'd given to Edward when I told him I wanted to go shopping with Emmett. The Cullens bought new Christmas decorations every year, and this year was no different. Apparently, Esme and Alice were normally in charge of the décor of the house, but Emmett had begged, pleaded and cried – metaphorically – until the two female vampires caved.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing, Emmett?" I asked as he turned off at the wrong junction. It led away from Seattle, towards Olympia, which was at least another two hours away. We'd already been driving for an hour. I didn't know how much more of 'Wombling Merry Christmas' I could take.
"Are you doubting my shopping skills, wolf girl?" Emmett challenged, glaring at me. Behind his eyes, I could see his playful demeanour, but I played along, creating a scared façade as I shrunk back into my seat.
"No," I replied, my voice shaking. Emmett nodded in satisfaction, turning his attention back to the Wombles. "Bloodsucker," I added under my breath. Emmett grinned, rolled his eyes at me and turned the stereo up a bit, singing along even louder.
I sighed heavily.
Trying to distract myself, I turned my attention to the decorations. The Cullen household was quite a big place – they were going to need a lot of decorations. Tinsel, a bunch of trees for around the house, fairy lights, baubles, snowflakes… the list of necessities seemed endless.
Fun.
XXX
"Emmett, are we nearly there yet?"
We had been driving for roughly two hours. I'd slept twice, for about half an hour each time. I was bored though, and my legs were stiff. I needed to move about, regain feeling in my feet. However, Emmett was oblivious to the lack of feeling in my legs.
"Nearly," Emmett replied. "We wish you a Wombling Merry Christmas…"
"Can we listen to something else other than The Wombles?" I demanded. The song was running through my head on repeat. I knew it would take days for it to get out of my head.
"I don't have anything else," Emmett said, smiling sheepishly. I rolled my eyes at him, a smile automatically forming on my face. He was such a goof. "Hang on, check the glove box," he gestured to the huge black compartment in front of me.
"And there are no bugs in there?" I checked.
"No bugs," Emmett replied. Confusion covered his face as he tilted his head to one side, looking at me through marginally narrowed eyes. "Are you scared of bugs or something?"
"I just don't like 'em," I admitted, feeling a bit stupid. I stuck my hand into the box, rummaging around and finally pulling out a plastic CD case. It was a clear case, coated in a thick layer of dust. Coughing slightly, I opened the case and slotted the CD into the CD player. Of course, Emmett had a high end CD player that could take twenty CDs at once.
We both waited with bated breath, incredibly curious. A second later, we heard the intro to the music, and Emmett's face lit up as if Christmas was coming early. He looked absolutely thrilled. Confused, I listened in.
"Welcome to my Christmas song… I'd like to thank you for the year... So I'm sending you this Christmas card… to say it's nice to have you here…"
I could recognise Elton John's song, 'Step Into Christmas' but there was something off about the voice. It seemed too rough, incredibly in tune. I listened in further, and then suddenly, I recognised the voice just as the chorus hit.
"Step into Christmas, bands come together, we can watch the snow forever and ever!" the voice of Edward Cullen sang. I didn't know how I hadn't recognised his voice sooner. As soon as I realised it was him, I burst into laughter. Tears of mirth poured down my cheeks as I gasped for breath, my cheeks bright red by the time I'd finished laughing.
"How did you get him to do this!" I demanded, barely able to contain my laughter.
"We had a bet in 1973… I won, he lost. This was my price," Emmett seemed incredibly pleased with himself. "I forgot I'd converted it to CD. Ah, good times. I'll have to blackmail him with this later."
I laughed.
"Hey Leah, we're here," Emmett said, suddenly swinging the steering wheel around and pulling into a parking space. I hadn't even realised we'd arrived at the Olympia Shopping Centre.
"Are you ready to face my amazingly awesome shopping skills?" Emmett asked, in a deliberately deep booming voice. I could feel the car vibrating due to the deep bass of his voice.
"I sure am bloodsucker," I grinned, climbing out of the car, slamming the door behind me.
XXX
"Do we really need all of this?"
I had learnt it was an incredibly bad idea to shop with Emmett. He'd picked up everything Christmassy – the trolley I was pushing was filled with strips of tinsel. Emmett was pushing two trolleys, one of which held a seven foot tree, three five foot trees, five mini trees and ten boxes of baubles. The other was filled with fairy lights, as well as more trees, more baubles, and some different decorations. There were also several different types of chocolate crammed into the top of the trolley.
"Yes! It's necessary," Emmett said. He looked around, his eyes locking on a string of Christmas styled bunting. They had Christmas trees, fairies, presents and Santas on them. He grabbed a bunch, adding them to the trolley.
"We're going to need another trolley," Emmett said. "Leah, can you handle two?"
"Sure," I replied. If I didn't protest, we could get everything quickly. I wasn't sure about the realism of the situation. What human could manage all of Emmett's shopping without help anyway? We were already getting funny looks.
"I'll take the left aisles, you take the right ones. If you see anything that looks Christmassy, grab two. Okay?" Emmett said to me eagerly.
"Sure," I replied, before we went our separate ways.
I picked up two toy Christmas trees as I made my way back towards the trolley storage area. Two children were messing around in one of the aisles, playing with toy snowmen from the shelves. As soon as they saw my trolley, their eyes grew wide with surprise and their mouths hung open as they stared, unabashed.
I had half a mind to say something, scare the two little kids off, but changed my mind just as my phone rang. I adjusted the trolley so that I could push it with one hand, putting the phone to my ear as I answered.
"Hello?"
"Hello," Edward replied smoothly. It shouldn't have surprised me that he was calling – Ed had been very tense since the Newborn Battle, always checking up on me. It was half annoying, but half sweet. It was nice to know that he cared about my wellbeing so much.
"Guess what I listened to in the car?" I said, thinking back to 'Step Into Christmas.' A smile automatically formed on my face as I fought to stop myself laughing aloud.
"Surprise me," Edward replied. I could picture the smirk on his face.
"Step Into Christmas," I told him, expecting him to get it straight off.
"Elton John?" he asked, obviously not understanding. "I didn't picture you as an Elton John kind of person Leah."
"Not exactly. His song, but someone else singing," I said. He'd have to be exceptionally thick not to get it now.
"The Business?"
Okay, so he was exceptionally thick.
"No, you, you idiot!" I replied. "Apparently, you and Emmett had some kind of bet, but you lost… and that was his price. Anyway, he's converted it to CD and he's going to use it for blackmail at some point. I didn't know you were such a good singer, Ed."
"…Ugh," Edward groaned. "Please tell me you're joking."
"Nope."
He groaned again, I could almost hear him tangling his fingers in his hair as he attempted to wrench the strands from his head. A low sigh came from his end of the line; I decided to quickly change the subject.
"Remind me to never come Christmas shopping with Emmett again," I said.
"That bad?" Edward demanded, seeming a little more upbeat now. I was glad – moping Edward wasn't fun to be around. He just wandered around with a lost expression, occasionally having angry outbursts.
"Yup. He's got two trolleys, I've got another, just about to get the forth one. He's got about twelve Christmas trees, chocs, sweets, wrapping paper, fairy lights… it's ridiculous, he's gone way overboard. I don't think I'm gonna survive."
Edward laughed, the sound was throaty and it brought back fond memories – Tag at Halloween, the JCB Tough Phone, ginger hair… though I hadn't known Edward for very long, it seemed as if I'd known him for most of my life. He was my best friend.
"You better," he said, "if Emmett comes back without you, I'll be sure to shred him into tiny pieces and burn them in your memory."
I laughed – but I wasn't sure if he was joking.
"I better go," I told him. "Talk to you later?"
"Okay Leah," Edward replied. "See you later."
There was a beep as the line disconnected.
I pocketed my phone, quickly grabbing my second trolley before doing as Emmett had commanded, wandering up and down the aisles, grabbing everything Christmassy I could find.
I walked slowly around another corner, trying to make it seem as if I was struggling a little with the two trolleys, and gasped in shock as Emmett appeared before me, a wide beaming smile plastered to his face. He quickly shoved two different advent calendars into my face.
"Chocolate or pictures?" Emmett demanded, thrusting the advent calendars into my arms. He folded his arms, and he would have looked threatening – if he wasn't stood behind two trolleys filled with Christmas Trees and chocolate snowmen.
"Don't know," I replied. I hadn't invested in an advent calendar for many years. Emmett looked scandalised at my response, but then shrugged it off and chucked both of the calendars into his overflowing trolley.
"I think you're starting to blow our cover," I told Emmett quietly. He sighed heavily, seeming a little angry.
"You're right," he said. He turned around slowly, looking for anybody close. Then, he grabbed one of the massive Christmas trees from the abandoned trolley beside him, quickly chucking it into one of my two trolleys.
"Emmett!" I hissed.
"Run!" he said, bolting down the nearest aisle and disappearing out of sight. I let out a frustrated noise and followed his lead, annoyed with the childish vampire. I was gonna let him have it when I saw him next.
Once far enough away from the 'crime scene' I slowed my steps and sauntered leisurely through the aisles, examining the items on the shelves. A couple of items caught my eyes but I didn't pick up anything. I was already extremely conspicuous – I didn't need to pile up my trolley anymore.
As I rounded the next corner, I jumped out of my skin as I heard Emmett's voice yell:
"LEAH!"
I groaned aloud as I saw the childish vampire; then my groan turned into a ragged noise of annoyance. He was being a complete idiot; he was wrestling an old lady for a seven foot Christmas tree. She had short grey hair, and wore a pair of gold spindly glasses on her nose.
"This is mine!" she said, tugging the Christmas tree back a little as she glared at Emmett.
He retaliated quickly, tugging the tree back and practically hissing at her; "I saw it first!"
"Finders keepers buddy," the woman replied heatedly, pulling it back.
"No!" Emmett practically snarled.
"Respect your elders!" she replied, tugging once again.
"I am much older than –"
It was about time for me to intervene. I slapped a hand over Emmett's mouth and gave the woman an apologetic look.
"He's very passionate about Christmas," I told her. I wrenched Emmett's hands from the tree and glared at him; he seemed to shrink under my stern gaze. "I'm very sorry about him."
"Hmph," the woman replied grumpily, disappearing from the aisle with her large tree held aloft.
"Meanie," Emmett said to me once she had disappeared.
"Emmett, she already had the damned tree; there are gonna be loads more!"
"I wanted that one," he said stubbornly. He looked around, something catching his eye as he squealed like a baby and then disappeared from my sight.
"Damned vampire," I muttered, following him.
I let out a sound of annoyance as I finally caught up with Emmett; I could barely make out his massive form. He was covered in ivy, mistletoe clumps, holding another damned tree and several containers filled with baubles.
Emmett seemed to notice my presence; he beamed and then announced smugly;
"I think we've bought everything Christmassy they have here."
"Does that mean we can leave?" I asked eagerly.
Emmett let out a raucous laugh, throwing his head back. He beamed at me.
"Of course not!" he exclaimed. "There are LOADS more shops to get to yet!"
I let out a long, ragged groan.
Note to self: Never go shopping with Emmett again.
XxXxXxX
A.N: I need to edit chapter 2 a little, it's already written so it should be up in a couple of hours. I've worked my ass off to get this ready in time, so y'all should drop me a line (REVIEW THAT MEANS! OR ELSE NO MORE OUTTAKES) I do accept anonymous reviews, just say hi, tell me what you're getting for Xmas, what you thought of the chap, etc… lol.
Soap x