Need by Hana Pestle

Bella POV

I felt nothing. I lived my life, day after painstaking day, but I never felt anything. Every time I did I just let the waves of blissful numbness wash over me.

I never missed a day of school. Except...except then. That day, so soon after my birthday. Ever since he left me there after having told me something I knew that was inevitable. That he didn't want me, didn't love me and that he had to leave me. I almost feel to my knees, but I let my self sink back into the pool of nothingness and thought about less painful things. Sometimes I was thankful that I didn't have to deal with how I felt. I was sick of it all: pain, love, loss, grief.

I never answered the phone, and eventually people stopped calling. I never responded to people talking to me so they stopped. I didn't care. I went to school, I did my homework, I came home, and I cooked dinner. I never went out and my grades went up. I still didn't care. I lived life like I was in a fog, that someday I would wake up and there he'd be to tell me that it was just dream. But I never would wake up because this was real and I was living my worst nightmare.

I knew that he didn't want me, but I still needed him. To be here to help me live through my life. I was changed inside when I met him. If you had seen my insides in Phoenix, they would have looked completely different to what they would look like now. He brought colour and magic into my life and when he left he took it away again. I never saw the colour in things anymore. Not even the red and white ruffled tulip on my widow sill had any colour. The petals were starting to fall to the floor but I couldn't bring myself to be upset about it. It had been a present from someone, but I couldn't remember who.

He had told me that he would love me forever. But I guess that forever is too long for someone with eternal life. I need him. I need him like I need air and food.

I could hear Charlie on the stairs, coming up to check on me. I knew that when I screamed in the night he was frightened, and that he cursed him to hell. But I always covered my ears when he did that. I didn't want to hear it. Maybe it was time for me to feel again.

But first, I sent out a message in my mind to someone who, could have never and, will never hear it. But I did.

I need you. Come back. I need you.

Edward POV

I felt pain in the way I'm sure that only a vampire could feel. I didn't move and I hadn't for months. I never hunted, I never moved. I just let the pain flow through me. Jasper tried to help but I had told him not to. I deserved this.

I broke Bella's heart that day in the woods. I used to be able to conjure up a smiling happy Bella but now...now all I could see was her tear stained face. I let out an agonised howl. I heard a few people jump and my parent's worried thoughts drifted up to me.

Please let us help, Edward, son, please. That was Carlisle. This had been his train of thoughts for the past few months.

I wish I could help him...I wish he would let me. Esme had been worried about me, it hurt that I caused her pain and worry, but it still couldn't touch my frozen, locked heart that was persevered just for the pain of Bella.

How could she believe the lie, but not the truth? After the thousand times that I'd told I loved and she believe the one word that contested that truth?

"It was a lie, Bella, I lied." I whispered to nobody. My legs were drawn up to my chest and I hugged them tightly. I stared at the white wall in front of me. I had decided not to have anything in my room and so the room was bare.

I heard someone sigh below me. I didn't care who it was. I just wanted one thing. To be back with her, in my one true home in this world.

Bella, I need you.