Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis is not mine. And the idea is technically derived from a comic my friend sent me which can be seen at amazingsuperpowers . com

A/N: I am basing this off the best comic I have ever seen in my life, hence making this an AU fic. In ye olde times. I also haven't been writing fanfiction for a couple of years, so it will be terrible. I'm apologizing in advance. Oh and my accents are terrible too.

It was approximately 9:43 P.M. and London's greatest criminals were still out in the dark and dreary night, cycling the streets with their ginormous front-wheel cycles. Well, Niou Masaharu was cycling along the sidewalk in his ginormous front-wheel cycle while his partner in crime who was very gentleman jogged alongside him, attempting to keep up. This distressed Yagyuu Hiroshi because his hair would occasionally part in all the wrong ways as he trudged along the path.

On this particular night, Niou decided he was fed up with the damned bobbies telling him he couldn't ride his ginormous front-wheel cycle. He'd already been given several warnings about it and usually forced Yagyuu to get him out of such situations with the authorities. That is exactly why Niou deemed him so gentleman. The same could not be said for Niou.

"Niou, I do say, we seem to be out a tad later than usual. The smirk on your face is also unsettling me. May I inquire as to what you are plotting? You know the bobbies won't be pleased when they see you on that cycle. It doesn't help that you yet again tried and failed in thieving. Marui's got connections to those bobbies, so I do believe it's best not to--"

"Oh, my dear lad, you are fretting far too much…" Niou said this as he dismounted his treasured cycle and closed the distance between them. "Marui's got plenty of tobacco to spare us, now be a dear and hold this for me, will you?"

The Tricksters even sealed that deal with the smallest of pecks against the bespectacled man's lips. "… You just have to be more careful," the auburn haired man tried to mutter afterwards, but to no avail naturally.

Yagyuu who suddenly had the most beautiful shade of pink upon his cheeks obediently took a few items into his hand. Well, I say, why would I need to carry his cheery ol' top hat and coat…? And then that's when he heard the distinct sound of a paint can. (A/N: Work with me, they had spray paint cans.) At that very moment, the rather baffled gentleman put two and two together. They had stopped directly in front of the police station and Niou was… well, he seemed to be defacing the property with a mighty purple color.

"GINORMOUS FRONT-WHEEL CYCLING IS NOT A CRIME"

Before Yagyuu could reprimand his partner, his ears picked up the sound of shuffling inside the police station. That was one of the main reasons Niou kept him around (besidestheobviouskinkylovemaking). His senses were attuned to such things.

"N-Niou, we must away!"

"My dear, I've just about finished…"

"But… but the bobbies, Niou!"

The lights immediately lit up the station and three very familiar figures were silhouetted in the window. If it were possible for Yagyuu to look any more distressed, now was that time. Oh bugger, those three would choose today to be honorable bobbies.

"Niou, please, I implore thee: make haste!"

As the platinum haired criminal was about to protest to the other's wishes, the top three bobbies of the town were outside with their nightsticks, ready to beat honorable sense into both Niou and Yagyuu. Or maybe just Niou.

"Tarundoru!" (A/N: Because the British can all speak Japanese. Again, just work with me.)

"Do you see what I mean, good sir? My collection of data suggested the two chaps would strike the station this day…"

"What the bloody hell are you two ignoramus bobbies doing?"

Before Yukimura could put his subordinates in line, Niou had long hopped onto his ginormous front-wheel cycle and cycled away for his life over yonder the nearest hill (indeed there was a convenient hill in the town) with Yagyuu running along in a very distressed manner.

A/N: In case you're all wondering, yes, the Platinum Pair was indeed dressed in their DL5 pimp outfits.