Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games!
Hey guys! So, while I was listening to some music, I had, yet another, inspiration to write a one-shot! This one is entirely in Peeta's P.o.V! But anyway, I hope you like it and if you do review! It would make my day!
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I wake up to the sound of Katniss' screaming beside me. She was screaming my name as she clawed at the air, tears rolling down her cheeks. I immediately sit up and scoop her in my arms, rocking her back and forth, whispering in her ear that I'm here and that I'm safe.
Her clawing stops but she clings to me for dear life. She was whispering my name between sobs as if to make sure that I'm really there. I keep on rocking her back and forth, hugging her tightly. I feel her tears seep through my shirt and my heart aches as I hear her heartbreaking sobs.
It hurts me to see her like this because I know the feeling of waking up covered in sweat, yelling and clawing out at nothing, not knowing if the nightmare was real or not. When I returned to 12, nine months ago it was miserable. I didn't have the nerve to talk to Katniss and every time I tried, I would turn around and walk away. My nightmares weren't getting better, and sometimes, even though Katniss' house was a couple houses away, I could hear her faint screams. I wanted to run to her, but I didn't.
It wasn't until three months ago that we had continued to sleep next to each other again. It helped us a lot. Every time I had a nightmare about losing Katniss, I would only wake up and look beside me and there she was. Or if I had one of my episodes, she would be there, comforting me back to my old self. And I did the same to her, just like I was doing right now.
We needed each other. We were each other's bandages to help heal the other's wounds.
I kept on hugging her and whispering that I was fine and that I wasn't going anywhere to make her better, and it worked, after a few moments. Her sobs turned into low whimpers until she was only catching her breath as silent tears rolled onto her cheek. She didn't loosen her grip on me and I held her still.
"Peeta?" she whispers with a shaky breath.
"I'm right here, I'm right here." I say
"I thought you were gone." She says "I thought you left me."
I slightly pull away and place a hand on her cheek, my thumb wiping away the tears. "I'll never leave. I'll always be here."
"Always." She whispers.
I look at her and her disheveled state. Tear stains were covering her cheeks, there were big black bags under her eyes, her hair was all over the place and her shirt, or more like my shirt that she wore, was wrinkled and she looked absolutely beautiful. I look down to her lips and they were dry and chapped.
They looked so plush and kissable, but I stopped myself from doing anything that I might regret later. I look back into her eyes and see sadness in them. I caress her cheeks as I weakly smile at her, reassuring her that she doesn't have to be sad anymore.
She continues to look at me in the eyes and I see her lick her lips, moistening the chapped skin. I couldn't take it anymore. Even if she pushes me away after this, even if it will break both our hearts, I need to be selfish just once and slowly; I cup her face with my hands and kiss her. I see surprise in her eyes before I close mine, but soon, I feel her returning my kiss.
Her hands loosen its grip on my shirt and it finds its way to my hair, tangling her fingers through my locks. I kiss her with so much passion but still being gentle to her soft lips. Her lips move in sync with mine and I can't help but think if I'll ever get to kiss her like this again.
The grip on my hair tightens as she pulls me down to lie with me on top of her, our lips never leaving each other. I hold myself up with one hand as the other continues to caress her cheek. Her hands touch my back and my shoulders and my chest and it takes my breath away. I kiss her with more passion and she returns it, but, moments later, her lips start moving and I slightly pull away.
"Peeta," she says as her hands touch my chest, slightly pushing me away "Peeta, please."
I look at her with a confused look but I get off of her. We're both breathing hard as she sits up, with me kneeling on the bed in front of her.
"I-I'm sorry, but I—" she sighs "I can't"
I know there is hurt in my eyes, and I try my best not to show it. In a normal situation I would've nodded and apologized to her. I would've looked at her apologetically and tell her to get back to bed. But that's the thing, I would have.
But now, I decide to be selfish. I need to be selfish so I can get my answers. I can't just keep backing down when she tells me. I need to do this.
"Why?" I ask "Why can't you?"
She doesn't respond as she looks at the sheets instead of me.
"Answer me Katniss!" I said "Why can't you be with me?"
I hear my voice crack a little, but I ignore it, like she does.
"Peeta, why can't we just forget it happened?" she asked, I see her trying to make her voice sound firm and stern, but I hear the slight anxiousness and I'm not fooled.
"Because I'm tired of forgetting!" My voice rises "I'm tired of pretending that I'm just a friend with benefits to you! I'm tired of you pretending like you don't feel something else!"
She still doesn't make eye contact.
"I need answers, Katniss." I whisper "Just tell me why, and I'll try to forget." I don't want to forget, but it was the only thing I could say to persuade her into telling me why.
"I-I" she tries to say "Because, it's because I'm scared Peeta." She finally says.
I just stare at her, my face probably showing confusion. Why would she be scared? Why would she be scared of me? I knew she didn't want to start a family because of the games, but the games are gone, and I'm not asking for a family yet. I notice that she shifts so she could get up, but I just stare at her. She stands up and starts to walk to the door when I jump off the bed and grab her wrist gently.
"Why are you scared?" I ask her
"Please Peeta, I don't want to talk about it."
"Why won't you tell me? I want to help!"
"But what if you can't?"
"Then I'll die trying!"
"Don't say that!" she yells "That's what I'm afraid of! That you'll die! That you'll leave me and that I'll be broken and hurt and act like I did when you were gone in district 13!"
My face softens a little as she says this.
"I don't want to lose you Peeta! That's what I'm scared of!" she said while a single tear rolled down her cheek.
I wipe the tear away with my thumb and pull her into a hug.
"You'll never lose me." I whisper
"You don't know that." She says back
"You don't have to be scared." I said as I pulled away. "I'll always be here. I'll take care of you. I'll help you."
She shakes her head and was about to protest but I beat her to it.
"Let me help you! All you have to do is trust me!" I insist.
She doesn't look at me and looked at the ground instead. I look at her with pleading eyes, asking her silently to say something, anything. A minute has passed and she hasn't moved from her place and so have I and I know that she's not going to say anything. I sigh and stand up.
I walk towards her bedroom door and place my hand on the knob. Before I turn it, I take one more glance at her. She now looks at me as I stand a few steps away from her and the look on her face that pleads me to stay almost stopped me, but I stood firm.
"I'll be waiting Katniss. I'll always be waiting. When you're confused and broken, don't be scared to come to me, I'll help you." I said before turning the knob. I open the door slowly and the lights from the halls fill the dark room. I take a step before I feel a hand grip my arm.
I turn around and see her, looking at the ground. I just stand there, waiting, wanting, for her to do something to stop me from leaving. Slowly, she looks up, her piercing grey eyes boring right into my blue ones.
"I trust you, Peeta." It is barely a whisper, but I hear it loud and clear. I try to, but I can't fight back the smile that's building on my face.
As quick as an arrow being shot, I turn around and pull her into a hug. She doesn't say anything as she hugs me back. I pull away and smile at her. She smiles back, even if it's just a small hint. I understand that she's still tired from the nightmare she had.
"Thank you" I whisper at her
She shakes her head "You're not supposed to thank me." She said
I just stare at her beautiful face and I fight the urge to kiss her again. I don't want to ruin this moment, so instead I kiss her on the cheek and smile at her. She smiles at me once more, before pulling me back to her bed.
I lay beside her, our bodies face-to-face and I cover our bodies with the blanket before wrapping an arm around her waist and the other, pushing the stray strands of hair from her forehead. She does the same to me, her fingers curl and play onto the hair on my forehead while her other hand is placed on my chest.
I smile at her and I kiss her forehead one more time before closing my eyes. Her fingers stop playing with my hair and she places it on my neck. I am about open my eyes when I feel something brush against my lips. My eyes immediately snap open and I almost go cross eyed at the sight of Katniss' face so close to mine, and only then do I realize that she had kissed me.
When I don't respond, she pulls away slightly. She sees me looking at her with wide eyes and she blushes and looks away.
"I'm sorr—"
I kissed her before she could even complete her sentence and she kisses me back. The kiss was sweet and short, but it was enough to awaken the fire inside my stomach. When we pull away, I see her smile at me sweetly and I quickly wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer to me, tightly.
I smile to myself as I stroke her hair slowly. She finally trusts me completely. I can finally help her with everything and she'll let me. And best of all, I can kiss her more freely without being afraid of what will come next.
But, why do I have to be scared when she's not? Not anymore, anyway.
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The ending probably sucks, but it was all I could think of. Anyway, I had to finish this quickly so I could get started on the other 4 or 5 new one-shots I thought of! So, tune in for that! Anyway, if you like it review! It would make my day!
-Kayla-kepmpjac-112198-