Harry Potter and the royal mail strike
Harry Potter, now 17 years old, likes to torment his family that doesn't like to be known as his family.
"Bloody postmen, gone on strike again. Petunia looks like there'll be no mail again for a few days." Uncle Vernon looks round towards the kitchen to see Petunia in her white apron and pink washing up gloves. "Strike, again. I'm expecting an important invitation from the Jones' from round the corner. Their daughter is getting married and it would be horrid if I didn't get an invitation and what about the Smiths' from up the road, her father's not long died and they're receiving his ashes by post."
Harry is listening in on his relative's conversation and chuckles to himself. He finds it hilarious that he will be getting his normal post but his aunt and uncle won't be receiving they're important post. "Ha ha and they moan about the owls not being normal, at least they don't go on strike. Idiots"
The next day
Harry comes down to breakfast with the newspaper and his letters and Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia haven't got anything because of the strike. Uncle Vernon is losing it because he is going to have to go to the shops to get his paper instead of having it delivered. Harry comes into the kitchen grinning with his mail in one hand and the newspaper uncle Vernon gets in the other. "Oh so the mail arrived. Petunia it looks like they haven't gone on strike yet." He holds out his hand for the paper but Harry just sits down and starts reading. "Give me my paper boy," demands Uncle Vernon. "I believe it's my paper Uncle Vernon because I paid for it to be delivered and before you ask all those letters are mine," said Harry coolly. "How dare you speak to me like that, now give me my paper and my letters!!" Harry handed them all over but the paper. Uncle Vernon flicked through all the letters and not one of them had his or Petunia's name on. He put the letters back in front of Harry looking embarrassed. "Right so the postmen have gone on strike and they are yours, would I be able to read the paper after you." Before Harry could speak there was an almighty crash upstairs followed by a screech. "Is their anyway you could shut that bloody bird up!!!" yelled Uncle Vernon. "I guess you won't want the paper then if you're going to be like that," said Harry in a very patronizing tone. "No, I would like the paper it's just that bird is bloody annoying," explained Vernon. "Well that annoying bird just bought your paper so I suggest you be more kind to her during postage strikes," said the patronizing tone again. "Ok sorry, sorry. Maybe we can make an arrangement about the papers during the postage strike. I'll buy bird food if it brings me the paper as well," Vernon suggested. "How about you just pay me the same amount I have to pay for it then I can buy the food from the magical world." "Fine," Uncle Vernon said begrudgingly. From then on Harry used Uncle Vernon's money to save up to buy a load of CDs to annoy the neighbourhood with.
Harry Potter, now 17 and a half years old, still likes to annoy the family that doesn't like to be known as his family by playing music terribly loud and not giving them the newspaper.