Chapter 1

Inner Turmoil

As we stood in the grass field behind the high school the bright color of sunshine faded on his broken expression.

"Why?" I asked, my chest feeling tight. "I love you." My eyes started to sting as they grew watery.

"I love you too," he said quietly. "But, I have to go Faith." He looked torn as his eyes started to betray him as they started to water. "You know I do." His voice was filled with sadness and his eyes looked as tortured as ever.

"You can't," I protested feebly. "You promised you wouldn't. You promised." My breath left me as the pain set in, my voice temporarily falling away from my grasp. I griped his arms. They shook beneath my grip. I closed my eyes not welcoming the extreme pain of loss.

"I know Faith. I know", he kissed my forehead, "Good bye." Small tears escaped his eyes as he left me. I sat down on the roots of the tree. I put my head in my hands and silently cried, listening to the thrumming noise of the soft rain.

"Luke," I whispered. "No…"

"No!" I woke up, sweating. I took a deep breath trying to erase the cruel memory. It had no affect so I quickly got up from bed and went to the window. I sat down on the bench and took several deep breaths before I calmed. It wasn't the first time I had had this dream. I hated this dream. It made me relive the moment he left me. He had been forced to abandon me because of his parents. They had it in their minds that I wasn't good enough for him. If he had kept dating me, they would've kicked him out of their house. I didn't understand why his parents would go so far for just dating me.

His name is Luke James. His hair is a light blond and his eyes are an electric blue. He has lightly tanned skin from playing soccer on his free time. He was so kind, funny, smart, and makes you feel somewhat important. He broke my heart but I still love him. Nothing could or would ever change that.

I brushed my dirty blond hair out of my eyes and pulled it up into a ponytail. I looked over at my clock on the nightstand. 5:57 glowed bright red on the face of the clock. I got up and went over to the window. The view was of the front yard and the street we live on. That's when I saw him….Luke. He was on a run with his iPod headphones in his ears. I watched him longingly. I wanted to go outside and talk to him.

He was right in front of my house, when he stopped. He stood in the driveway, looking at my house. His gaze turned to my window and caught mine. I quickly closed the curtains and turned away. A moan escaped my mouth as I cracked the curtain open and watched him hesitantly jogging down the street. I watched him for as long as I possibly could, my heart beginning to ache afresh.

I still had a fair amount of time until school started so I got up from the bench and went to take a shower. The warm water flowed over my body and loosened my muscles. I thought of the day I first met Luke. It was the first day of our seventh grade year and he sat next to me in my first class. We had five classes together so we became really close friends. We did almost everything together: homework, played soccer, went to concerts, parties, and saw movies. The list was endless. Then my memory shifted to the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. Though, before I had gotten very far through the memory, I started to feel the aching pain in my heart again. We had been at our friends Christmas party our sophomore year which happened to be on the same day as my birthday: December 19th. He asked me in front of every one there. He had given me a sterling silver dolphin that hung on a string of black and promised never to leave me. The aching pain in my heart got stronger so I stopped the memory short.

I got out of the shower and changed into the new school clothes I had gotten for Christmas. It was a navy blue short sleeved hoodie with a pair of skinny blue jeans and black vans. I tied his necklace on and looked in the mirror. My dark green eyes looked strained and sad, while my hair was in wet, messy knots. I pulled the drawer out and picked up my hair brush. I yanked the knots out of my hair and went back to my room. It's the first day back from winter break in my senior year. I was scared to go to school. To see him and feel the same heart ache I have for a while now. We hadn't talked since he left me that fateful day four months ago. I missed him. A few questions I had been asking myself over and over were: "Why so long. Why is the pain still here? It was just a stupid high school romance." My thoughts were interrupted when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

"Hello?" I answered.

A familiar female voice met my ears. "Hey Faith, are you ready to go?"

"Hey Brooke," I said, giving myself once last looking over. "Yeah I'm ready."

"Okay, we'll be over there in a minute. Bye-bye."

"Okay. See you." I laughed at her feeble attempt at a small child's voice.

Brooke found me crying in the grass after Luke left. She had taken me home and helped me get back on my feet. She is my best friend and I trust her with my life. She has short brown hair, a light tan from surfing with her cousin in the summers, is my height and, has a light layer of freckles going across her almost always smiling face. Her mom takes us to school every morning since my parents leave at 5:00 every morning. My parents are doctors at the children's hospital downtown. I knew I had been hurting them. They hated to see me this way and I never did anything to help them feel better about it. They knew what happened between us. They loved Luke like there own son, but now they don't even talk about him. Every time I would try to bring him into a conversation they would either: completely ignore me or change the subject.

The ache in my heart kept getting stronger until I heard the knock on the door. "Coming Brooke," I called as I slung my backpack over my shoulder and rushed to the door.

Well here it is. Totally redone. The rest of the chapter's are completely different so I'd like it if you reread them. There's also a new chapter and I'll have it up later today. Thanks,

Stars