"Absent father figures are a mainstay in our society," Abed started apropos of nothing on Thursday afternoon, five minutes into their study session. "If pop culture has taught us anything, it is that this phenomena will breed resentment in male heirs, while daughters display extraordinary strength in adversity,"
"Just the other day, I staked a vampire even though all I wanted was a normal life," Britta deadpanned, not looking up from her textbook.
"Good example Britta. Buffy is a clear icon of the independent woman thriving in a traditionally patriarchal setting."
"And I told my Dad when he got home from his business trip that I thought the latest issue of The Watchtower was complete bullcrap." Troy nodded in all seriousness. "Baking soda is what makes the biscuits work, and I don't care what some old lady with the crazy scarf in it says."
"You reacted the way Sam Winchester would have to John Winchester, if they obsessed over baking techniques rather than spent their lives hunting demons at the expense of all personal relationships," Abed pronounced, tapping his pencil against the table and giving Troy an approving nod.
"Guys! The mid terms are next week! What are you doing?" Annie asked at last, tearing herself away from the passage she was attempting to understand but to no avail.
Also, how was she supposed to ignore the obvious space to her right if everyone didn't shut up with their stupid subtext? Shirley caught her eye, her lips pursed in a way that made her want to twitch. She had been on the receiving end of that look for a few days now, and she had no idea why. Instead of fidgeting like a little girl caught with her hand inside the cookie jar, Annie looked stoically back at the older woman.
"Annie do you have any idea where Jeff has been lately?" Shirley asked innocently, immediately causing Annie to blanche. For a split second, she imagined throttling Shirley with her cardigan, and with that cheerful mental image in mind, she managed to smile and say,
"No, why?"
"Well he hasn't been here since Monday sweetie, and I thought maybe you'd know because the two of you seem to have that special relationship."
She was no longer throttling Shirley in her mind – she had just moved into the scenario where she viciously slashed at the other woman with a samurai sword.
"Oh you mean you saw the two of them leaving the party together too?" Pierce asked curiously, and added, "I figured it's just a fling since Jeff is trying to nurse his broken heart with a hot young thing, especially since he got rejected by my daughter too. I wouldn't call it a 'special relationship'."
"Oh man did you hook up with Jeff again?" Troy asked.
"That is totally unacceptable. Annie you have to stop this, he's way too old for you and clearly taking advantage of your…umm…youth!" Britta sat up, giving her a stern look.
"Now now, I'm sure Jeff and Annie didn't do anything that would make Jesus cry," Shirley admonished the rest of the table, before turning back to Annie. "Although you people have certainly done that in the past,"
"That is inappropriate Shirley!" Pierce said before Annie could point out all the ways in which that statement was racist. Surprised, she looked at Pierce, waiting for the other shoe to drop – it was after all, Pierce. Instead of continuing, he simply shrugged back at her.
Well. Stranger things have happened somewhere.
"I didn't mean that Annie is a Jew and that's why she'd make Jesus upset!" Shirley sounded horrified as she turned to Pierce. "I meant Jeff and Annie have in the past been romantic!"
"Oh I know," Pierce told Shirley. "I just thought we shouldn't be discussing Annie's sex life as if she wasn't here. We can talk about it later if you want, over coffee. Or breakfast. And it's not like the other part's wrong anyway. I mean, the Jews did try to kill Jesus. It's a fact!"
"THAT'S IT!" Annie stood up, slamming her heavy book shut. "You are all driving me crazy. Troy and Shirley, I did not 'hook up' with Jeff. Pierce, you're a racist old man! Britta? You're trying to say I'm young and naïve which is frankly, very insulting. Also Abed?"
Abed looked at her expectantly and unblinkingly. Everyone appeared vaguely shamefaced except for Pierce, who muttered something about 'hormones'.
"Jeff isn't our father figure and you're not exactly subtle." She said haughtily. "Or at least, he's not mine. Because eww!"
With as much flourish as she could muster, which was no mean feat when her arms were full of books and a heavy backpack was swinging precariously off her right shoulder, Annie swept out. The group stared after her, until Abed said,
"That was very sitcom-wife of her, putting us all into our place. Pierce would be the racist grandfather…"
"Hey!"
"Shirley would be the mother-in-law – Jeff's mother of course - while Britta would be the non-conformist daughter and Troy would be the athletic son. I'd be the classmate whose 'friendship' with Troy would be widely debated in online communities because of its ambiguous nature."
"Sounds about right." Troy nodded, then looked perturbed. "Wait, what?"
"It's a fandom thing. Don't worry about it," Abed assured.
"And another thing, how can I be a racist when I adore this beautiful African Queen?" Pierce asked indignantly, gesturing towards an appalled Shirley while everyone simply tried to pretend they hadn't just heard that.
***
Rage still consuming her thoughts as she approached the library exit, Annie didn't see the collision coming until his nose was crashing into her forehead.
"First of all, OW!" Jeff said nasally, cupping his nose. "Second, are you ok?
"I'm fine," she muttered, rubbing her forehead, feeling insanely nervous. Why she was feeling that way, she didn't know – it was after all, just Jeff for goodness sake.
"Aren't you supposed to be in study group?" he asked, looking at the time on his cell phone. His nose was red, but didn't look damaged.
"I could ask the same of you," she replied, almost sharply. Slightly taken aback, he looked enquiringly at her. "Everyone wants to know why you haven't been coming."
"I was just on my way actually," he said, showing her his books. "And not that it's anyone's business, but I've been moving into my new apartment this week."
"Oh." Annie finally looked up at him; so it wasn't because they kissed and that he was too awkward to face her. Of course not. He probably didn't even care.
"Are you coming?" he asked.
"Actually, I kind of just stormed out of there," she said sheepishly.
"Well storm back in. You're Annie Edison. Homework comes before preparing for the apocalypse," he teased. "Besides, if you aren't there, who'd make sure we get our two minute study break?"
It was hard to stay mad in the face of his dubious logic. As they began the walk back towards the room Annie had just left, Jeff asked,
"What did they do this time?"
"Huh?"
"Why did you storm out?" he clarified.
"Oh. Nothing…nothing important." She shook her head, realizing it was best not to discuss it.
"Was it Pierce? Did he say something about Jewish people again?" Not laughing wasn't an option, so she did. Things seemed almost normal - almost.
Coming within five feet of Group Study Room F, the both of them paused, listening to the sound of a growing argument spilling from within.
"Why should I be here? Jeff can't even be bothered to show up anymore," Troy said.
"Does it matter? We're here to study Spanish," Britta retorted. "This isn't a Jeff Winger fan club. We don't need him to do this!"
"I'm on Troy's side. This is pointless." Pierce sounded bored.
"Now now, if everyone would just calm down…" Shirley breathed, panicking.
"The unit is falling apart without the presence of both parental figures." Abed announced in his clear voice. "I would have predicted something like this happening in the next session after there had been more time for our now-apparent discontent to fester."
Jeff sighed, giving Annie a resigned look. He strode through the door with Annie following anxiously behind. The room fell silent as everyone turned to look at them, eyes widening in surprise.
"Are we studying Spanish? Or are we gonna sit around and jerk each other off?" Jeff demanded.
"Robot Chicken, Season 4, Point Break parody." Abed stated authoritatively. "2008. Episode title – "I'm Trapped"."
"Very good Abed, and also? Kinda scary," Jeff replied, sitting in his chair.
Everyone gave Annie strange looks as she sat down again beside him, but she warned them off with a twitch of the eyebrows.
***
"So…" Jeff started.
The room was empty except for the two of them. What with missing classes for the past few days, Jeff was far behind in his notes, which of course, Annie had in spades. Ignoring the suspicious looks Britta and Shirley threw their way, Troy's confused expression, Abed's…well, he didn't really react, and Pierce's thumbs up, the two of them were left poring over her ring binder.
It wasn't anywhere near as uncomfortable as she had imagined it would be. In fact, concentrating on teaching Jeff what he had missed was actually distracting her from the knowledge that the last time they had been alone together, it had ended with a very passionate, albeit confusing embrace. That is, until they got to the final handwritten line, and suddenly, in the silence of the library, everything came rushing back. Still unable to look directly at him, she began to pack her things frantically.
"Annie, slow down," he said, reaching out a hand to touch hers. She stilled, not pulling away. "I thought maybe we should talk about what happened."
"What happened?" she finally allowed her wide eyes to fall properly on him. Under the stark fluorescent light, she realized how exhausted he looked, with shadows under his eyes, and what looked like a two day old stubble.
"You know 'what'." he sounded impatient.
"I didn't think you'd want to talk about it," she said in a small voice.
"Of course I don't wanna talk about it." he gave her a wry smile. "If I can go the rest of my life without ever talking about this, I would probably die a happy man. But you want to talk about it, and one of us has to be the grown-up..."
"Oh god. Not you too," she muttered.
"What? What do you mean?"
"Nothing, don't worry about it." she replied. "I don't really know what you want to talk about honestly."
" Listen Annie." he rubbed a hand over his face. " I'm really sorry about what I did. I had a little too much to drink that night and I was upset..."
"You're 'sorry'? You do realize you're repeating yourself. You keep falling back on excuses every time you do something stupid, and think that somehow, if you say that one word over and over, it'll make everything ok." Annie told him heatedly. "You know I have a boyfriend who already thinks there's something weird going on between us. Do you know what could have happened if he had seen us?"
"Hey you weren't exactly fighting me off!" he spat. "I seem to recall someone's tongue halfway down my throat!"
"Like I could get past your…your giant tongue!" She retorted.
They stared at each other. Jeff's lips twitched upwards, while Annie thought about what she had just said. Her face reddening in embarrassment, she fought back her own giggles.
"Yeah well, I can't stop thinking about you." he sounded infinitely tired.
"I can't stop thinking about you either," she replied after a beat.
"What are we going to do about this?" he looked at her imploringly, as if she held the answer.
Annie opened her mouth, but was saved from making an answer she didn't actually have.
"Babe?" She looked at the entrance to find Vaughn staring at her. Judging from his smile, he hadn't caught their conversation at all.
"I'll see you in class." Jeff stood up. Nodding to the shirtless man, he stalked away, leaving Annie staring helplessly after him.