PERCHANCE TO DREAM
DISCLAIMER: I have stuffed the Gundam boys into my closet I don't know *how* many times, but they keep escaping...
SUMMARY: There are some things in his past that he thought he had buried. Thought they were behind him. He was so wrong. Now Wufei's trying to deal with having the same nightmare, over and over and over. Maxwell isn't helping. Or is he? Things just go from bad to worse...
WARNINGS: For violence, torture, lots of lovely angst, occasional feeble attempts at humor, and a little bitty bit of sap. And a mild lemon. And one POV, so you won't know what anyone else is really thinking...
CHAPTER ONE:
"To sleep! perchance to dream-
ay, there's the rub."
--From Hamlet (III, i, 65-68)
--William Shakespeare
Water.
Water all around him.
Water making his loose hair float in a cloud around his head...
Wufei gasped and sat up straight, jerked from much-needed slumber by images he'd thought forgotten. He hadn't had that dream in over a year, not since he'd accepted his place as the pilot of Nataku, leaving behind everything familiar...
This was all Maxwell's fault.
Wufei grumbled and rolled over, pounding his pillow into submission.
Only Maxwell would have thought of something as asinine as a 'pool party' to celebrate the end of a long, hard mission. Quatre and Trowa and, surprisingly enough, Heero had enthusiastically agreed - well, Heero's grunt had been a bit more interested than usual - and had joined in the planning. While Wufei had barely begun to register the words 'pool party', it had become a pool party/barbeque with plans for card games, drinks, and frivolous things to keep them out long after dark.
And Wufei couldn't think of a single reason to avoid it without alienating his teammates, which would never do. They needed to be able to work together.
So he'd gone to the pool at the appropriate time, wearing his tank top and a pair of loose, baggy shorts. He'd eaten the strange 'barbeque' food - surprisingly good - played the games and swum a few laps to make sure he still remembered how to swim.
One never knew when that skill would come in handy.
He'd thought he'd gotten through it all right - not one of the other pilots had seemed to notice anything off about his behavior. He'd been almost disappointed when the evening ended. They had few such times to relax and not worry about the war. He'd gone to his room and was tired enough to go straight to sleep...
And dream.
And now he wouldn't sleep the rest of the night.
And he'd blame Maxwell for it, so he wouldn't have to think about who was really to blame...
*
He splashed water on his face and tightened his ponytail, scowling at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes looked tired, with dark circles under them, his face drawn and harsh.
Easy to tell he hadn't slept last night.
Good thing it was still early. No one would be up. He'd already checked his laptop for missions and found none. Now he would just get enough food to keep him satisfied, and spend the day in the woods with his katas and his meditation. Hopefully, he would find enough balance to be able to rest tonight.
The safehouse was quiet as he ghosted his way down the hall, past the closed bedroom doors. Heero and Duo shared a room as always, while Quatre and Trowa did the same. He wasn't sure and wouldn't dream of asking about the relationships that went on behind those closed doors - it was private and they didn't do anything in the open to clue him in, so he assumed they wanted it kept private.
Was there even anything to keep private?
Did it matter?
Yes, because it was distracting him from thinking about the damn dream!
He entered the shadowy kitchen and went straight to the refrigerator, taking out some bottled orange juice and sandwiches that had been left over from last night. He tucked them into a small, insulated lunch bag and left, his sword already in place on his back.
*
He wasn't sure how long he'd been practicing when he felt eyes on his back.
He'd been through his meditation, done his Tai Chi exercises and moved through the entire kata form twice, so it had to be several hours. He dropped out of position and turned, already knowing that the eyes didn't belong to an enemy.
No, just an irritation.
"Maxwell. Did you need something?"
"Not really, Wu." The braided boy said cheerfully, dropping down beside of Wufei's folded tunic and the lunch bag, sharing the shade of the tree he'd left them under. "Everyone else is busy, I thought I'd come bother you."
"My joy knows no bounds." Wufei said sourly, striding over and retrieving a bottle of juice. It was still slightly cool, and he swallowed the liquid appreciatively.
"You weren't at breakfast." Duo's voice was casually curious, one arm flung over his eyes as he lay back on the ground.
"It's a good day to practice." Wufei replied, sitting down on the other side of the bag and taking out a sandwich. He hadn't realized he was getting hungry.
"You practice almost every day. What's different about today? Even Heero slept late after last night, you could have, too."
"Heero slept late?!" Wufei was incredulous.
"Yeah," Duo sniggered, "a whole half-hour past the time he's usually up." Wufei rolled his eyes in response to that, and Duo laughed again. He reached out and snagged one of Wufei's sandwiches. Wufei didn't argue with him. Everyone knew Duo's legs were hollow - he was always eating, although he never gained an ounce.
Wufei ate his sandwich and drank his juice in silence, knowing that the quiet wouldn't last long. He was right - Duo finished his first sandwich and reached for another, and started talking.
"So Quatre's out working in the garden, I don't know why he's bothering, 'cause we'll only be here a couple more days but he says it relaxes him, and Trowa's working on Heavyarms even though it doesn't really need any work and Heero's got his damn laptop, so the rest of the world doesn't exist, and you're doing your dances but you looked like you were getting tired so I figured you were the best one to..."
"They aren't dances!"
"Yeah, I know, but they look almost like you're dancing. I know they're really martial arts stuff, but they're beautiful."
Wufei felt his face turn red. "They're practice forms. They're not supposed to be beautiful."
"Can't help that. So, are you done now? Wanna go swimming?"
"No." A calm, flat refusal. He hoped.
"Why not? It's freakin' hot today, and you're sweating. Cool water would feel good, you know?"
"I suppose it would, but I'm not in the mood for..."
"C'mon, Wu! I wanna go, and you're not supposed to swim alone! Puh-leeze?" Wufei was treated to Duo's best chibi-faced pout.
"It's WuFEI, and all right." He really couldn't think of an excuse not to go to the pool, at least not one that wouldn't make Maxwell curious. It had nothing to do with that ridiculous pouting face he made.
That's what Wufei told himself.
*
'Two more laps. I can do two more laps, tell him I've cooled down enough, and get out.' Wufei thought to himself, arms cleaving through the water monotonously as he propelled himself towards the far side of the pool. 'Just don't think about it, that's all. This is just exercise, no need to think about how much water...'
"Wu, don't you even lighten up when you're supposed to be having fun?" A voice asked brightly just as he reached the side of the pool. Wufei gulped and nearly went under - Maxwell had been paddling around in the shallow end of the in-ground pool. How had he gotten here so quickly?
Duo laughed at his startled face. "You looked so serious, Wu-man, you're supposed to enjoy this. Wanna play a game?"
"What kind of game?" Wufei asked suspiciously, clawing for his self-control.
"A water game, of course! Water tag, toss a ball around, diving competition, I don't care! Let's just have some fun! Oh, I know! Quatre's got some weighted rings, we can toss them in and see how many we can get off the bottom before our air runs out."
"All right..." Wufei agreed slowly. That sounded like something he could handle - the other games would take away too much of his control over his environment.
He couldn't risk losing that. Not after dreaming that dream again last night.
Duo was already out of the water, rooting around in a plastic box on the deck. He came back with his arms full of colorful toys; rings, sticks, small balls and other, odder shapes.
"Quatre had more than just the rings! There are twenty all together. Tell you what, lets throw them all in and see how fast we can get them out if we work together. There's a timer, too. Then if you want, we can take turns and see who's faster?" Duo's voice was questioning, like he wasn't sure Wufei was going to stay for the game.
Like he couldn't believe the Chinese boy had stayed with him this long.
Wufei didn't notice. "All right. Together?"
Duo beamed. "Cool, Wu! Watch out!" He started tossing the toys into the pool. Wufei's black eyes watched them all carefully, trying to memorize their approximate location. That would make this little exercise - game, he wasn't used to playing games - easier.
Duo set the little digital timer on the edge of the pool and slipped back into the water. "Ready?" he asked his companion. At Wufei's nod, he started the timer, took a deep breath, and dove under the water. Wufei followed, going straight to the closest toy, a ring, and slipping it over a slender wrist. He could just make out Duo at the far side of the pool, gathering up bright colors. Wufei retrieved another ring, a ball and a brilliantly pink duck. His hands full, he swam to the side to deposit his catch.
"How many?" That almost obnoxiously cheerful voice called when his head broke the surface of the water.
"Four."
"Cool beans! I got three, thirteen to go!" There was a small splash as Duo went back under.
Wufei followed him.
*
They played the game for over an hour, both determined to beat their best time, both forgetting they'd intended to compete later. They were down to two minutes, eighteen seconds when Quatre came wandering onto the deck and stopped to stare at them.
Apparently he'd never expected to see Chang Wufei and Duo Maxwell playing a game in a pool, actually getting along with each other. No death threats, no jokes, no rants, no manic laughter and chases.
Surreal...
He sat down to watch.
Duo came to the surface with one of the two last toys, a neon green ball, and watched as Wufei came up with a ring. As soon as that black head - who's hair had somehow remaining in a sopping wet little tail - was out of the water, he stopped the timer.
"Two minutes, ten seconds! Best time yet, Wu!"
Wufei didn't correct him, just smirked and tossed the ring onto the concrete surround.
Quatre nearly fell over.
"Hey, Q!" Duo called, catching sight of him. "All done with the flowers? Is it close to dinner time, I'm starving?! Whose turn is it to cook? Please don't say Heero! I'm tired, Wu, ready to get out?"
"Yes." And Wufei was up the ladder and on solid ground again, not even a tremble of his legs to show his relief.
"Trowa is cooking tonight." Quatre had recovered from his surprise. "He's making that casserole that you like. It'll be done in about ten minutes, long enough for you two to dry off."
"Excellent!" Duo crowed, shoving most of the toys into the container and running for the house.
Wufei calmly picked up the few he had left and packed them away. Quatre watched him for a moment, a puzzled expression on his face, fingers very lightly tracing a circle on the center of his chest.
"Wufei - are you all right?"
Wufei lifted blank onyx eyes to gaze at him, keeping his expression bland while his heart stuttered. "I'm fine, Quatre, why do you ask?"
"Oh - no reason." Quatre didn't look like he entirely believed him, but he didn't push it. He got up and went into the house. Wufei took a last look around, saw nothing out of place, and followed.
Dry clothes, dry hair, dinner, read a bit, and bed.
Sounded lovely to him.