Disclaimer: Hey! these are you spazzy authors of the Clarence Clearwater Documentaries (Easter Eggs from said story are throughout this story =^.^= soooo happy hunting!) As always, we own nothing ;_; *A/N: if i actually owned Snape, do you think i'd be here writing stories about him?* My friend and i decided to write a story this time, not just a parody so read, review, and DON'T RUN WITH SCISSORS WHILE DRUNK!! You could kill your voice over and have to get a new one. We will be updating the Clearwater Series soon, so hold one to your patience n.n we have Remus and Sirius coming up.

Chapter 1

The first years began filing into the Great Hall for the sorting ceremony that was about to commence, that every student had gone through. It was the beginning of Severus Snape's sixth year, an entire season since his fight with Lily thus ending their long friendship. Even though it had been months since their fight, the wound of the lost companionship still cut fresh in Severus.

However, one thing stood out in the crowd of firsties. Towering above the abnormally short first years was a vision of beauty, or in Severus' eyes, a snobbish prude. The pale-skinned, Aryan girl must have been at least sixteen and yet she was in line to be sorted with the younglings.

"First I would like to welcome you all to a new year at Hogwarts; secondly as you may have noticed we have a new guest to be sorted along with the first years. Aurelie Lafayette is a transfer student from a wizarding school in France, Beaux-Batons. Please be welcoming and courteous to her for the remainder of her stay." Dumbledore announced as the Great Hall grew silent. "And now let us begin the sorting."

The sorting went smoothly, as long and uneventful as usual until the name "Lafayette, Aurelie" was called. Immediately as she began walking down the aisle, all the male heads began to turn in her direction.

"RAVENCLAW!"

Aurelie took off the ragged sorting hat, tossing a long lock of white-blond hair over her shoulder, recapturing the attention of the boys.

Severus glanced over at his friend, Lucius sitting next to him who happened to be ogling over the French student.

"Aren't you betrothed to Narcissa Black?" Severus asked incredulously.

"I may have my own work of art, but an artist can always appreciate other works from afar." Lucius replied nonchalantly.

An angry huff came from his betrothed's direction.

"What I meant to say was that my original is a da Vinci while all others are Monet."

Severus sighed, "Bloody Casanova…"

Severus watched out of the corner of his eye as the new student made her way towards the Ravenclaw table, walking down his aisle. She brushed the lusty leers of the male populous off with a disgusted sneer, not noticing Narcissa's outstretched foot in her path.

Aurelie yelped, stumbling over the foot, and falling backwards right into Severus' lap.

Lucius smirked, "See Severus, I told you girls would be throwing themselves over you."

Aurelie blushed and stammered, "I am sorry, I was not meaning to be in your lap… you have very pretty eyes."

Severus quirked his eye-brow, "Perhaps you should get to your own table and learn how to walk correctly on the way there."

Aurelie quickly got up and fled to the Ravenclaw table, flushing with embarrassment, noticing that her seat was actually directly behind Severus and Lucius.

Lucius gaped at his friend, "Why the hell did you do that, you idiot!? You literally had a very attractive woman fall on top of you; do you realize how many men would kill to be your place?"

Severus felt as though someone were watching him, boring a hole into his back; he turned around slowly only to see Aurelie's bright blue eyes staring at him and quickly averting her eyes to her plate as soon as he made eye contact with her.

On the other side of the Great Hall, at the Gryffindor Table, James and Sirius were watching Aurelie pick at her food, occasionally glancing behind her at the Slytherin Table. "I wonder who she keeps staring at."

Sirius looked at James incredulously, "Are you serious? She's probably staring at Snivilus; he most likely traumatized her when she fell into his lap, poor thing."

"She sure is beautiful…"

"Don't look now, but I think Lily is looking a little jealous at the new object of your affection."

"Huh? Oh ok." James replied blankly.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged dumbstruck looks as James basically ignored the girl who he had been pining after for years.

As dinner came to a close, Dumbledore announced the proceedings for heading towards the dorms, and the students began to file out.

As Severus began to walk down the stairs towards the dungeons he once again felt a pair of eyes on him. He stopped, turning around to see Aurelie watching him from the foot of the steps. He stared back at her flabbergasted until finally she turned away giggling, catching up with the other Ravenclaws.

"I think you have a stalker, Severus." Lucius chuckled.

Severus groaned, shaking his head and walking towards the common room and up to his dormitory for the night. At least he had Potions to look forward to the following morning.