OK, this idea sprang from a random thought. But please enjoy!
This is sort of AU. It completely ignores Journey's End, with Rose and Donna travelling with the Doctor. Jack is still with Torchwood, but travels with the Doctor occasionally.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. I wish I did, but so far, no luck.
"Who used up all the milk?" Donna screeched, her eyes raking over the fridge angrily. She retracted her hand from hunting around the depths of the humming machine. She slammed the fridge door shut. "D'you remember the rules? Whoever used up the last of the milk has to run out and get some!"
Jack, Rose and the Doctor all stared at her, amused.
"Well? Which one of you was it?!?" Donna arched an eyebrow at them, her eyes boring into her friends.
"Well, it wasn't me. I had toast, I did. Lovely crunchy toast, lathered with banana and peanut butter. It was gorgeous! No milk from me, sorry. I haven't had milk in, oh...two days?" The Doctor rubbed his hands together, causing crumbs to fly over the table. The four of them were in the TARDIS kitchen, grabbing some breakfast before they set off onto their next adventure.
"Rose?" Donna turned her attention to the blonde.
"Don't look at me. I can't eat in the morning," Rose gestured to her empty plate.
"So then that leaves you," Donna glanced at Jack. Rose snorted with laughter, her eyes flitting over Jack's breakfast. His bowl was bursting with discarded, soggy cornflakes, milk dripping round the edge. He was in trouble. Jack flashed her a smile.
"You gonna eat that?" Donna jerked her chin towards the rejected bowl. Jack shrugged, absently. "I suggest you do, Jack. Considering you used up ALL THE MILK!" Donna approached his seat.
"Donna, listen, I was going to eat it, but then somethin' came up-"
"Like what?"
"Well, like there was this HUGE emergency...you don't want to know the full details, I'm sure," Jack waved his hand nonchalantly. Donna tilted her head in scepticism, her mouth forming a pout. Rose and the Doctor snickered, watching the two bicker.
"No, no, Jack, I'd love to hear what big emergency came up," Donna plonked herself on the stool next to him, her eyelashes fluttering daintily at the captain. He froze. "Well, come on then! What're you waitin' for?"
"Uh, right, yeah-"
"Your turn."
"To do what?"
"'Uh, right, yeah' was NOT a good enough excuse to get you out of buying the milk, Jack," Donna folded her arms, triumphant.
"She has a point, Jack," Rose interjected, gnawing on the back of her thumb. Jack threw her a hostile look.
"It's not just her milk, that's not fair!" He grimaced indignantly.
"You know the rules. You used up the last of the milk, therefore you go and buy a new bottle. It's not hard," Donna reprimanded him, jabbing his chest for extra effect. He scowled, his bottom lip jutting out.
"That's not a good look for you," The Doctor grinned, chucking his plate in the wash and straightening his tie.
"Come on then, Doc. Let's go and buy this damned bottle of milk," Jack stood up with a sign, offering a hand to Donna. The four of them traipsed into the main control room, the time rotor falling and rising gently. The Doctor's hands danced over the controls, setting the co-ordinates for Earth.
"Right then, 2009, June time, middle of the MP scandal, how does that sound? Sound good enough for milk?" He suggested, his hand hovering over the lever. A chorus of agreement rippled through the room, so he slammed down on it. The room lurched with a sudden jolt.
"Did you actually pass your test to fly this thing, Doctor?" Donna asked.
"Does it matter?" He answered, bounding around the room.
"Well, yeah. Considerin' I'm puttin' my life into your hands!" Donna lent against the controls casually.
"Why does our milk always come from Earth?" Rose piped up, tugging on her earring. The Doctor stared at her.
"Blimey, you lot are curious today!" He grinned, "To answer your question Donna, yes I did take a test. And I failed. And Rose, I think that milk always tastes better when it comes from real cows. Not like the cows you get on Mars! Would you believe it, their milk tastes like grass! Not nice at all. Ever tried a bowl of Crunchy Nut with the added protein of grassy milk? It's terrible. I tried it; almost caused a war between the Martians." Rose giggled; it sounded like the sort of thing he'd do. "But here's the worst thing, they don't have chips on Mars! The outrage! So, that's two points against them. Not good," The Doctor finished, and swept a hand to the door.
"We're here?"
"Yep! Go on then, we'll be right here," The Doctor promised, causing Jack to scoff.
"I've heard that one before," He threw on his jacket and winked at them, "See you in a bit!" He bounded out the door.
Jack fished out a fiver and pressed it smoothly onto the marble counter. He gathered his change and grabbed the milk, striding out of the shop and in the direction of the TARDIS. He paused when he heard a familiar voice.
"..Nah, it's alrigh', Shireen, I'm workin' tonigh'. Yeah, I know, on a Friday nigh' an' all, but I get paid extra. And besides, my dad needs me on this one," Rose Tyler chattered down the phone, her high heels clacking along the pavement with precision. Jack watched her, a frown descending upon his face.
"Rose?" He called to the blonde, who looked up at him.
"M'sorry, do I know you?" She asked hesitantly.
"Rose, it's me, Jack. Where's the Doctor? Why've you left the TARDIS?" He advanced towards her. Rose scrunched her face up in confusion and slowly baked away.
"I don't know what you mean," She stuttered. Jack reached her, "But I'm warnin' you, Sir, I've got trainin'. I've seen things you wouldn't believe. So back off!" She hissed. Jack chuckled as realisation dawned on him. This wasn't his Rose.
"Stay right here, OK? I'll be...I'll be right back, just stay here, don't move!" Jack ordered, shoving the bottle of milk into her hands. He smiled at her before speeding off towards the TARDIS. Rose gawked at his retreating back anxiously, still clutching onto the milk.
Back in the TARDIS, Rose, Donna and the Doctor were slouched about in the control room. Donna offhandedly licked her finger and sliced the pages of the magazine lazily, before throwing it to the floor.
"Jack been gone a while. D'you think he's got lost?"
"He hasn't been that long, Donna. Why, you missing him?" The Doctor teased, nudging Rose in the hip. Donna blushed furiously.
"As if," She sneered, flapping a blasé hand. Rose's eyebrows flew up in cynicism, exchanging a look with the Doctor.
"You sure 'bout that?" Rose smiled.
"Anything going on with you and Jack?" The Doctor asked. Donna's mouth snapped closed as she pursed her lips.
"Me and Jack? Me and Jack? What about you two?!?" Donna reversed the taunting, rendering Rose and the Doctor speechless. Donna continued, exultant, "Always giggling in a corner, practically joined at the hip. Don't deny it. When Jack comes back, he'll agree."
The TARDIS door swung open, and a breathless Jack jogged into the room.
"There he is. Talk of the devil, the devil will appear!" Donna grinned. Her face faltered when she saw Jack's empty hands. "No milk? Had the shop run out?"
"Jack? Is everything alright?" The Doctor asked, more serious now.
"I think you'd better come quick," Jack replied, heading towards the door. Donna, Rose and the Doctor followed him with apprehension. They exited the TARDIS, and were almost blinded by the bright sunlight.
"S'bit hot for June, isn't it?" Rose remarked, tugging on the cuff of her denim jacket.
"Yeah, you're not wrong there. But this is Earth, isn't it? It looks like Earth," Donna's eyes darted around the busy street. Her nose wrinkled as a soft breeze brought the scent of the bin in the air, "Smells like it too."
"Follow me!" Jack sped off. They made their way down the stretch of pavement, and turned a corner. Jack halted and grinned, proceeding towards a young woman.
"Oh my god!" Donna gasped, catching sight of the woman.
"You've got to be kiddin' me," Rose breathed, locking eyes with herself.
Please review! If you have any ideas, don't hesitate to tell me!