Disclaimer: The only power rangers merchandise I own is a toy SPD morpher. The box said "it really works" so I assumed that they meant you could really morph. Little did I know they were talking about the little flashing lights and sound affects. And to top it off, the batteries weren't even included! Stupid fine print!
A/N: This is another one of my solo fics (me being Z).
This sad little oneshot was inspired by a piano number that a friend of my family wrote. The song has no title b/c he said that if he gave it one, it would limit our imagination to his interpretation of the song. So I guess you could say this is one of my interpretations of it.
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Unanswered Questions
"Why? Why did you leave me?"
His words were lost as the wind blew around him, through the empty branches of the trees, making a soft whistling sound, and blowing a few dead leaves across the frost covered ground of the graveyard. The whole world seemed as gray as the two tombstones he knelt in front of.
"Why were you never there? Why aren't you here now?"
The cold air bit at the exposed skin of his face. His hands however, were kept warm by the black, leather gloves he wore. But he wished he could take them off, he wished he could feel the cold air on his hands without feeling the cold emotions that surrounded him.
"Why am I like this?"
The wind picked up slightly, making his tawny brown hair dance across his forehead. He glanced down to make sure that the zipper of his gray uniform jacket was done up completely before turning back to the gravestones.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not who you wanted me to be."
Tears pricked at his pale, blue-green eyes as he thought of what a disappointment he must be.
"I'm sorry I've let you down. I'm sorry I'm not good enough."
The young man reached his hand out and placed it on one of the gravestones. The stone, he knew, was cold. After all, it was the beginning of December. But he could feel nothing. Not the cold of the stone, nor the grooves and cracks along the stones surface. His gloves blocked out all feeling, both mental and physical. It was like a prison. A prison he'd had to live with his entire life. A prison that he would never escape.
There was so much he'd never felt. He didn't know what it was like to slide your hands along a piece of wood and feel the grains running through it, and maybe even feel the sharp pain when you got a splinter. He didn't know what it was like to feel someone else's warm, soft skin. He had often imagined what these things might feel like, but these were only physical feelings. The thing he wanted to feel the most, the thing he'd do anything to feel, was so much more than a physical feeling. It was a feeling he'd never felt before.
It was the feeling of knowing someone truly loves you, and loving them equally in return. But he knew this was something he'd never be able to feel, never be able to have.
"Would you have loved me? I know I'm not what you wanted, but would you have loved me despite that?"
The young man ran his fingers across the engraved words of one tombstone and then the next, wiping away the frost until he could see the words clearly.
In Memory of Daniel and Ileane Carson.
"Why didn't you stay with me? Why did you leave me?"
White snowflakes started to fall from the gray sky. He felt alone. He felt lost. He felt cold. No, he felt…nothing. A lonely tear silently rolled down Bridge Carson's cheek as he knelt in front of his parents' graves.
The wind blew around him, through the empty branches of the trees. And he listened. He listened for the answers to the questions that had haunted him his entire life. The questions that would never be answered. The questions of his empty heart.
"Why?"
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So how was it? Kinda short, I know, but I'm quite proud of it b/c I wrote the whole thing in one sitting, and at 12:30am no less! Please be honest, I welcome all comments, flames, and advice – they are much appreciated.
Keep it buttery! finger wiggle
Z