He'd been wrong to invite her. He'd been wrong to assume he could handle it, that he could look at her and forget all those pent up feelings. It was six years since then, he had Mai, he had his kingdom, and yet he still longed for her. And now she was there. Everyday he saw her; in the corridors, at his meetings, at his dinner table. She was always on his arm, on Aang's, looking beautiful like the moon. Her hair had grown and her eyes still remained as piercing blue as they'd always been. They still looked at him the same way they had back then. Yet, she seemed so happy with Aang and he certainly wouldn't destroy something as precious as that. Besides, he had Mai. He was happy too… Wasn't he? Well, he'd thought he was, before she'd turned up with Aang some weeks ago.
They'd met a few times since her arrival and every time the tension rose tenfold. The last time had been their sparring match, which had ended with him on top of her on the ground. They'd been fighting and his fireball had been a tad too strong and the backlash from it colliding midair with her ice had sent her to the ground and he'd rushed to her side. It'd taken next to no time for their lips to meet and suddenly they were half undressed and taking things a little too far…
"Zuko?"
He snapped up, golden eyes widening, his heart skipping a beat; Mai stood before him, looking as concerned as she could muster. "What's wrong? You're so distant…" She dropped down to sit on the edge of their bed, thrusting her arms through the sleeves of her outermost robe. "I know your social skills aren't the best, but you never brood over balls this much. You aren't even dressed yet."
Right, the ball.
Zuko glanced down and sighed, pushing himself up from the chair he'd been occupying. "I'm fine." He said as he reached for his dress robes which had been hung on a peg across the room. "I'll meet you down there." He waited in silence, anticipating her footsteps, but they never came. He turned around to face her and she cocked her head to the side but sighed, throwing up her hands in a gesture of defeat. She reached out to the bedside table to grab the simple black mask which she'd wear that night, it was a masquerade ball after all.
"Alright, well don't forget I'm going to my parent's, I'll be leaving a little early." He nodded, he'd remembered that much. Her mother was ill, nothing life threatening, but ill all the same. "I'll see you down there," she stopped to briefly kiss him before she was gone, her familiar scent trailing in her wake. As the door swung closed behind her, Zuko heaved another sigh and sank down onto the bed, running his hands over his face. After several minutes of debating whether or not to call off sick to his own ball, he rose up to dress and forced himself downstairs.
The palace had been beautifully decorated. He had spared no expense for this ball, why he wasn't really certain, but from how his guests seemed to be acting they were enjoying themselves. As he entered the ballroom, he caught sight of Aang at once; he'd grown tall over the years, though they had always joked he might never grow at all. He had grown handsome as well, with a well chiseled jaw and his wise, gray eyes. Eyes that were hidden behind his black mask. He was well dressed in his robes of black and gray, robes that he himself had given him as a gift upon his arrival to the Fire Nation. Zuko could not help but to look for Katara, though he was surprised that he didn't yet see her.
Stepping into the crowd, he made his way across the room, sidestepping around guests and dancers, until he came up to stand near Aang. "Zuko," the Avatar greeted with a wide grin, reaching out to clasp his hands. "Nice mask." Zuko could not help but to return the smile, adjusting the golden mask over his eyes at the mention of it. "This is a great party." The Avatar went on, gesturing out at the dance floor, which was full of people. Zuko nodded, opening his mouth to speak when he caught sight of her; she was dressed in crimson and gold, her long hair piled high in an elaborate knot atop her head. It was secured with a beautiful gold and fire ruby comb, one he'd had personally sent to her room earlier that day. Her mask was gold and ornately wrought with sparkling gems. "Wow," beside him Aang let out a breath, his eyes widening slightly as she approached the two of them. "You look great," he said to her, reaching out, his arms winding around her slim waist. Katara let out a giggle and pulled back, her smile bright.
Across the room, the band struck up a new song and before Zuko could stop himself, before he could think about what he was doing, he reached out a hand, a silent offering to dance. Katara glanced to Aang and then back to Zuko, but then was smiling as she took hold of his hand, allowing him to lead her away and to the dance floor. "You look beautiful," he said as they each took their stances, the music leading them; being benders, they both had the natural grace of dance, and so it didn't take much thought to do. She blushed behind the mask and her smile was radiant.
"Thank you." She found she felt nervous, as she always did in his presence lately. He made her feel things she was not used to feeling and guilt was becoming one of them. She knew one of them had to put a stop to what was going on between them, but she found the idea of doing that hurt more than losing what she had with Aang. "It's a lovely balll. Not that I've been to many to compare." She laughed and he did too, a sound she adored, a sound she'd never tire of hearing. "Thank you, by the way, for the comb," she let go of his hand for only a moment, so she could touch it to the hairpiece.
"It was my mother's," he admitted softly and he heard her quiet gasp, could see the tears that threatened to spill from her blue eyes. "Don't say anything." He knew she'd want to give it back, would tell him to give it to Mai instead. He couldn't hear her say that. "I want you to have it." He offered her a smile and she said nothing for a long moment, until a smile graced her lips and she nodded.
"I'll cherish it."
Their dance ended and Zuko allowed her to slip away, to return to Aang's side, who with a laugh was drawing her out onto the dance floor. He watched them go, a sad, cold feeling taking root within his heart. He'd lost her, he simply had to accept that.
[ x x x ]
It was late and he'd drank far too much.
He'd stumbled back to his rooms and began to strip from his robes, allowing them to litter the floor of his chamber. Even so full of drink she haunted him. He'd lost sight of her and Aang a few hours before and he supposed they had returned to their own rooms. In nothing but his pants, Zuko climbed into bed, fully prepared to sleep off his drunken state and hope that he would wake stripped of his feelings for her as well. It wasn't but a few minutes after he'd pulled the blankets over himself that he heard it. Knock, knock. He opened an eye, wondering for a moment if he'd only imagined it. He yanked the blanket back over his head and yawned.
Knock, knock.
There it was again!
Grumbling silently that someone dared to disturb his drunken self so late, he rose from the bed, fully prepared to rip this person a new one. He opened his door and his eyes widened, surprise filling his features as the woman who stood in his doorway. "Katara." He stepped back so she could come in and he closed the door, turning around to face her. She was still dressed in her gown of crimson and gold, her hair was still done, but her mask had been discarded. She looked like she was on fire, her eyes were bright and she was teetering from one foot to the other. "Is everything okay?"
Was it? No, Katara wanted to scream, nothing was okay. Everything was wrong and she didn't know how to fix it without hurting someone she loved. Yes, she loved Aang, but she wasn't in love with him. It had taken her coming back to this place, back to Zuko to realize that. "Zuko, I…" What was there to say to him? "I want us to leave our significant others so we can be together?" No, she couldn't say something like that. Zuko was to marry Mai and she to marry Aang. They'd missed their chance to be together.
Hadn't they?
Zuko took a single step forward and took her into his arms, crushing her against him, his face buried into the top of her head. He felt her arms snake around his waist, her own face pressed against his chest, and he could feel that she was shaking. Pulling back a bit, he stared down at her, her gaze never wavering though it filled with tears at the sight of his face. "What are we doing?" She whispered, a single tear trailing the curve of her cheek; he reached up a hand, swiping his thumb across, wiping away all traces of the tears. He didn't answer, instead, he leaned down and caught her mouth with his. She gave in almost at once, returning his kiss with as much passion as he felt. Her arms tightened around his waist and his hand slid around to cup her cheek into his palm.
"What we always should have." He answered when he pulled back, now both of his hands on either side of her face, his eyes staring into hers. "Unless… You don't want to." She was silent a moment before she shook her head and instead kissed him, deep and slow, one hand reaching up to slide into his dark locks. He knew deep down that what they were doing was wrong- they owed it to their partners to be honest and faithful, but this… This feeling was so much stronger than anything he'd ever felt in all of his life. And maybe it was the alcohol in his system, but he found there was nothing that would take him from this moment. Nothing but Katara herself. His kiss deepened, his tongue sliding across her lower lip, and he felt her teeth nipping at his. His hands were in her hair, pulling the comb away to allow it to fall freely down her back. He ran a hand through it, relishing in its softness; his other hand traced the outline of her body, stopping at her hip. He pulled her closer, marveling at how perfectly she fit against him, as if she'd always been meant to be there.
He was warm and he tasted like alcohol; his golden eyes burned into hers as she drew back, a sly smile turning up her lips. Without a word, she turned her back to him, casting a glance over her shoulder. A tantalizing look that told him everything. Reaching out, he brushed her hair over a shoulder, revealing to him the twenty or so buttons that ran the length of her spine, the buttons that held her gown together. With fingers more nimble than he thought he had, they unfastened each one and then he pulled back, to watch as she slowly pulled herself from the gown. She allowed it to fall to her ankles and then she turned around, fully bare, her hair still drawn over one shoulder. He could do nothing but stare for several moments, so enchanted he was by the sight of her. He'd never seen her more beautiful. His hand reached out, hesitantly at first, until her hand came around his, drawing it closer to her. His palm closed around her breast and he gave it a gentle squeeze, before his hand ran down her entire body. Her skin was warm and soft.
This was so unlike her time with Aang, that much was certain. As she stood there before Zuko, something felt different, something felt so much more right. His hands were on her body, trailing the length of it, caressing it with the gentlest of touches. A touch that filled her with fire. She was kissing him again and she could feel him, hard and erect, against her thigh. Without warning he'd scooped her up and carried her across the room, to where he deposited her upon the bed. He climbed on top of her, kissing her fiercely, his hand back upon her breast. His thumb rubbed gentle circles against her breast as she had to draw her head back, a moan escaping her lips. He was whispering her name and she lifted her head to look at him; their eyes met and it was as if they knew what the other was thinking. They always had a connection, one so different from all the others in their lives.
Zuko felt her hands at his waist and he knew what she was doing; in one quick movement he'd helped her remove his pants and that left him too bare. Her hands were on him in an instant and it was his turn to moan as she ran her hand up and down on him. In an instant, she was taking charge, forcing him down onto his back on the bed. She was kneeling beside him, leaning over to take him into her mouth. "Katara!" Her name left his lips as he threw his head back with another moan. She remained like that until he could take it no more. With one movement he had her back onto her back instead, he above her, his eyes meeting hers. She gave a small nod and he pushed her legs apart, positioning himself above her. In one quick movement he'd entered her and she gave a small gasp, her eyes closing as she arched her back against him. He was thrusting into her, harder and faster as she began to cry out, her vocals shrill with pleasure.
"Zuko!" She was gasping his name and he knew he was coming close to the end; he gave one last thrust and felt himself burst, and it was only then that he pulled out, falling onto the bed beside her. He felt her roll onto her side and he opened his eyes, only to find she was already staring at him. There was no way he could let her go again. "Now what?" She was asking softly and he reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face.
"I want you to be mine." He sat up and she followed suit, her head tilted slightly, her hair cascading across her shoulder. "I don't want you to go." She and Aang were supposed to be leaving in a few days, to travel to the Earth Kingdom. "Stay with me." He took her hands and he watched her face, looking for any sign of regret or of hesitation. But, he saw nothing but joy. She nodded, giving his hands a squeeze, and he kissed her, this time softly and passionately. A kiss of love. There would be heartbreak for their significant others but if things progressed this way, it would only hurt them so much worse. Katara smiled as she gently pushed him back against the pillows, before climbing upon him, giving a little gasp as he entered her again. Zuko tangled one hand into her hair, the other resting on her lower back as she rocked back and forth atop him.
When they'd finished a few minutes later, they lay side-by-side in his bed, both on their backs and staring at the ceiling above them. "I should get back…" Katara said after what felt like an eternity, and she was sitting up, making the movements as if she meant to leave the bed. He took her hand, drawing her back to him, and she smiled as she sat back down on the edge of his bed. "I owe it to him." She said softly and at once Zuko nodded, knowing he owed the same thing to Mai when she returned to the palace later that day.
"Go," he urged her and she rose up, dressing quickly as he did the same. At the door, he kissed her briefly, and watched her go, leaning against the doorframe. She turned to look at him one last time, to raise her hand in a gesture of goodbye, before disappearing around the corner. He closed his bedroom door and returned to his room, and as he climbed back into his bed he noticed the glint of gold on his bedside table. It was the comb he'd given her. With a smile, he reminded himself to return it to her and he pulled the covers over himself. As he drifted off to sleep, he thought of her, and he knew that without a doubt, his dreams would be of her too.