Shepard flopped down face first onto the mattress, reaching out blindly for the covers and pulling it over her head. Followed by a pillow. And the other pillow as well. Hopefully it would be a sufficient barrier to ward off against the rest of the world and all of its impossible demands. People thought she was some kind of hero, hope for humanity and all that.
But she's not.
She was only human, despite her cybernetic enhancements. And humans can break if pushed to the brink, just like any other species.
A few data pads at her desk pinged almost simultaneously, and Shepard lifted her head only for a moment to growl and throw a pillow in the general direction of her annoyance. It bounced harmlessly off the glass of her model ship display, one of the few things she indulged in for her own — heh, sanity check.
Speaking of…
Kaidan stepped in at that very moment. He spotted her earlier after she had finished her call with Hackett, saw how rigidly she held herself and how she rushed to get into the lift. The circles under her eyes were more prominent than ever, the lines on her face deep, and her scowl sharp enough to cut glass…perhaps even shatter it. He knew she would want some time to herself so he waited, counting down the minutes while fiddling with his weapon mods.
And now here he was, standing in the dim room with only the aquarium as a light source. There was a human shaped lump on the bed with what seemed to be a pillow fort surrounding her. He moved to seat himself beside her, Shepard and the fort shifting slightly as the bed dipped under his weight.
"These aren't the droids you're looking for. Move along," Shepard's voice was muffled against a pillow, and Kaidan strained to catch her words.
"Not exactly looking for any droids, but if you've seen the first human Spectre around somewhere, I'd love to speak with her," he chuckled softly.
A groan. "The first human Spectre has had her fill of speaking for the day. She nominates the second human Spectre to make important decisions for her."
He gently laid a hand on her hip and began rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. "If the second human Spectre had about as much charisma and influence as the first, sure."
Shepard peeked her half-lidded eyes from over the edge of a pillow, "Never too late to start practicing. Your first task is to tell Hackett just where he can shove his stupid Crucible."
"I take it the talk didn't go well."
"Nothing we weren't already aware of," Shepard huffed as she rolled over onto her back, the last pillow and blanket sticking out from under her, "but time…time is one resource we're running out of fast. And there's no way to get it back."
"Shepard, it's…" Kaidan paused, searching for the right words, "it's gonna be—"
"Not that, Kaidan. Not right now," Shepard pleaded, her voice thick with…with something, reaching over to draw the tail end of the covers over her eyes. "I can't take it right now."
He watched as she pinched her lips together, but the slight quiver in her jaw gave her away. He sighed heavily and stretched out to lie down beside her, reaching out to pull her body against his, blanket and all. She responded immediately by burrowing her face against his neck. She was shaking — with anger and grief…despair, and it was all he could do to simply hold her and reassure her with his presence and…
"I'm here, Shepard. We'll get through this. I know we can. Just hold on a little longer…"