I do not own the characters and I am not making a profit.

Rated M for a little slap and tickle.

Slapstick Rizzles

My Lips Are Sealed

The lights of the police cruiser flashed and reflected against the store front window in a pattern of red, white, and blue. Homicide Detective Jane Rizzoli, threw open the door and stepped out with a sigh. She slammed the door shut and waved to the approaching black van. The driver, Dr. Maura Isles, waved back and slammed on the brakes, the front of the van stopping inches from the rear of Jane's cruiser.

"Hey," Jane squealed. "Careful where you're going, Doc."

The van door opened and Maura hopped out. "I'm sorry, Jane. But these heels were not made for driving this vehicle."

Jane walked up to Maura and looked over at the van. "So, why are you driving this piece of steel? Where's the Benz?"

Maura grabbed her Coroner's case and slammed the door shut, wincing as the hinges squeaked. "It's in the shop…again."

"Well if you wouldn't spend so much time flirting with the mechanic, he might actually get the car fixed."

Maura huffed, walking away from the van and toward the store. "I do not flirt."

"Right. You only bat your lashes because your mascara was running, right?" Jane stomped and caught up with Maura, the pair walking quickly through the store door and inside.

Two uniformed officers guarded the door. "Hey porkster, the girlfriend treating you okay?" Jane burred, reaching out and poking the skinnier of the two uniformed officers in the shoulder.

"You know, ma'am. She's doing better than the last." He winked at her and held out his hand for her identification. "I need your ID's. Your teams here already. You're the last to arrive."

"So, Detective Frost and Korsak are inside?" Jane asked, handing over her and Maura's badges, waited for the nod from porkster, then they both walked inside. "That's unusual that they're both here. I wonder why."

Jane glanced around, taking note of the scene. "Holy crap." She stared at the different array of objects displayed on the wall. "What kind of store is this again?"

"I believe the sign out front indicated that it is an adult entertainment store," Maura muttered, side stepping Jane and going toward the group of detectives and technicians all gathered around the front counter area.

"So…" Jane spun around to keep Maura in her line of sight. "This is a sex shop?"

"That's the slang term, yes," Maura said, kneeling down beside the body. The man slumped forward and sat off to the side of the counter, his back against a set of shelves, his eyes open and vacant with a stare of death.

"Looks like he went out with a bang," Detective Frost chuckled, handing Maura a set of gloves.

"Or, he banged so hard that his dick burst," Jane muttered, sauntering over toward Maura, squatting down to get a better look at their John Doe.

"See the blood on his temple and lacerations to the top of his scalp, Jane? Unless his penis is attached to his ear, then I fail to see how he expired by phallic bursting," Maura said, oblivious to the frown Jane case her way, and continued to pull out her liver temp thermometer and her scene notepad from her Medical Examiner's case.

"Hey Rizzoli, check out all the bottles in the trash," Frost said, pointing to the trash can beside the front counter.

"Well, let's check em for evidence. You know the routine," Jane shouted, glancing over at Frost and standing up. "In fact, I'll help you. It looks like the Doc can handle checking for penile implants." She snickered, turning away from the body and missing the hurt glance Maura cast her way.