Sometimes I wonder what am I doing here, walking without destination. When the sun rise, I snatch people's money for some bread, like orphan kids adopted by the streets. I can swing my swords-which I don't remember when or how or where I got them-and butcher random person to steal money they have in pocket, but I just don't really like the idea. Sometimes I just sit near a town gate and spread dusts all over my body and hair, waiting for nice people drop few coins for a poor beggar.
I don't remember how many times had passed since the first time I decided to hit the road, wandering from places to places, city to city, meadow to mountain, lake to river, not even sure if I have a childhood memory. I don't remember I was a kid, I don't remember someone I called "mother" or "father". I just remember the heat from the sun, and the cold from the rain and snow. Sometimes I think I'm not a human, just some spirit in human form-if not a ghost in a random body. Not sure how I finally decide to buy ticket and sails to Earth Kingdom. Not patient enough to save money, I decide to find the shorter and quicker way to get my ticket out of this Fire Nation.
There's an old man with flashy outfit, sleep thightly on a bench in harbor lobby. I guess he was a traveler merchant and business had been well for him lately, judging from abundant cabbages in his cart. The ticket loosely slip in his side pocket, and I wait patiently until it fall into the floor. After making sure that nobody watch me, I quickly take the ticket and rush into the ship which I believe will leave the port in a moment.
It was easy. But somehow made me feel a bit uneasy. I took an old man's ticket. Who knows maybe someone wait for him at the destination I stole away from him. Maybe he need to hurry back home to retire his journey, or maybe actually it's his last money and those cabbage actually present for someone in Earth Kingdom, nobody knows. But let's not be too sensitive about that, it's been clear that he is richer than me, he can buy another ticket right away.
On the schedule board, I learn that this ship will reach Earth Kingdom several days later. I go to mass cabin where I will sleep with some other strangers. Holding my twin blade tightly in my arms, I relax my body trying to take a rest. The ship's rocking, feels like sleeping on a baby's cradle. Crowds's noise become mom's lullaby-if I have one-and I rest my eyes. But as usual, I need my ears to stay alert. I always sleep this way, it's the best way to sleep as a wanderer. I can always wake up whenever I heard weird and unusual sounds.
I love sleeping, it always show me familiar worlds that sounds more realistic than the boring world I live in as a wanderer. Although sometimes it's too good to be true. I dream about lightning strike and blue fire. Sometimes I believe that the scar on my chest was made by that lightning. I also dream about a man strike fire to my face in an Agni Kai. If I don't have this large scar on my damaged left eye, I will interpret the dream as my inner struggle. Sometimes I wonder if I really lost the half of my face because of Agni Kai. Just who the hell was I when I was young? What did I do so I have to Agni Kai someone way stronger than me? How many years I had live in this lamentable world? 20? 30? When I think too much, I feel life is such a waste.
Sometimes in my dreams, I saw a large mansion decorated with reddish carpet or pillars. I dreamnt that I was the son of a Fire Lord, which I find it funny because it's almost impossible. I wander around the capital city of the Fire Nation for so many years, but no guards ever recognize me. If I am the son of the Fire Lord, they will obviously looking for me. My face will be all over the wall among the most wanted people, because the prince had left the castle and Fire Lord Lu Ten wants his son back. Second things that it's impossible to me become a fire lord's son, is because Lu Ten is too young to be my father. He can be my brother although the age gap is quite far. And Lord Lu Ten's father is too old to be my father. Beside, we don't look alike. My head hurts so bad each time I had dream about the red large mansion and tried to think about it.
In other nights, I mostly dream about ocean. Either I sit on a giant harness with other kids I don't remember who or where I know them, or on a ship having conversation with some old man who loves tea. We would talk about things I already forget at the moment I wake up, but the only things I remember we talk about in dream was the talk about the avatar. I remember I mentioned something about honor and avatar, although not sure which one. I wish my reality as interesting as my dreams. I mean, it's cool to travel around the world with my own ship or flying bison, rather than walk on foot everywhere and avoid strangers under my dull straw hat.
This time, in a rocking ship, I dream about her again.
I sit on a harness, the journey is a real bore, can't wait until we reach destination. We. Yes, we. There's this bald little monk with blue arrows on his forehead and his back palms. He talking to me at the moment, his voice is light and high pitched. I debate him about things he said, although I don't know what I said or why I argued on him. When he frowned because things I said, a little white lemur crawls around him, seeking for attention, and the animal success. The bald kid quickly distracted away from our conversations and busy laughing with his big green eyed lemur, I wander my sight around me. I see a brown skinned girl sewing someone's pants, right beside her sits a little girl picking her nose while listening to a South Water Tribe boy talking about random things.
Something attracts my attention. It's someone sit behind that boy, a girl with reddish short hair. She has a brave green eyes starring at me, stealing glance. At the moment our eyes met, she quickly look away to that boy and giggle as if something he said amuses her.
As the scene shifts in amazing way I can't really explain, I could hear her voice echoing inside my head, "do you remember me?"
It's a soft, and loving voice. Tranquils all my fears away.
"Not sure ..." I answered without I mean it. "We meet in prison..." I don't know how I come up with that idea. Meet a girl in prison? Who the hell did I killed to get there?
"No, ..." she said. "You kindda ... burned down my village."
Last thing I remember before someone drop his butt beside me to get sleep and drags me back to reality, I saw a beach. She was there, stealing glance at me again before return her attention to the same high spirited South Water Tribe boy.
A fat man exhale heavily beside me and I smell a rotten meat flies from his mouth. As soon as he drops his head on a straw pillow, he snores. I will never sleep again tonight.
Who was that girl?
Why did I dream about her in a way that I believe that it was real among the other interesting dreams? Was she a figure from my past life? A regression? Perhaps I must believe in reincarnation.