Izumi was irritated.
Not that she wasn't in the first place, but today the feeling was stronger than usual. Izumi leaned back in her chair, surveying her surroundings. Class 3-E was in its usual mood, with small groups of students talking and laughing amongst one another. Izumi clicked her tongue. She turned up the volume.
If someone were to look into the classroom, they would most probably miss her presence entirely. She didn't talk to anyone, always quietly seated at her desk with her earphones plugged in. With her place at the back of the class which was usually filled with the noisier ones, she ceased to exist even more.
Izumi didn't mind. In fact, the lack of attention made her feel more at ease. Lightly tapping her fingers to the beat of a rock song, she surreptitiously glanced over to her right.
Empty.
Despite school having started nearly two months ago, the desk next to her remained empty. It piqued her curiosity slightly, but not enough to make her investigate for herself. Besides, from the snippets she heard, the student had apparently been suspended for violent behavior towards some main block students—or something like that.
Izumi clicked her tongue once more. In her opinion, that boy should have just been expelled. Why should he still be sticking around? People like that were mostly useless and served no purpose towards anyone or themselves. And those sort of people irritated her the most. They could at least try to be less of a burden to everyone else.
Three figures walked into the classroom, the most conspicuous one being the one in the middle. Izumi couldn't bring herself to even look at the sheer stupidity of the yellow octopus costume he or she had donned, what more the graduation robe with a cheesy necktie and the small mortarboard perched atop the head.
Izumi also didn't know what to feel about the first man who was holding a pistol right at the head of the cosplayer.
The octopus-dressed person spoke first. "Nice to meet you." The voice was clearly a male's. "I'm the one who blew up the moon. I also plan to blow up the Earth next year. Seeing as I've become your homeroom teacher, I look forward to working with you."
Izumi and the rest of the class stared at him, the statement not yet fully sinking in their heads. When it finally did, they looked mortified. SERIOUSLY?!
The third and thankfully human guy decided to intervene. "I am Karasuma, from the Ministry of Defense. First of all, I would like you to understand that what I am about to say is classified government information."
That last part definitely caught everyone's attention, judging by the deathly silence of the classroom. Karasuma looked satisfied with the students of 3-E not replying. "Now, cutting straight to the point. I want you to kill this monster!"
This time, the student's faces morphed into varying expressions of horror and shock and mortification as Karasuma pointed at the octopus. Izumi blinked a few times. Sure, he might be a serious fashion violator and definitely a big-time liar, but wouldn't it be a little exaggerating to call him a monster and call for his death?
Mimura was the first one to speak up. "…Er, what? So that guy is an alien who came to attack us?"
The new teacher looked inexplicably offended by that question. "How rude!" he exclaimed, waving his tentacles (they looked pretty realistic, she would give him that) indignantly. "I was born and raised on Earth, you know."
"I'm afraid I can't speak about the particulars," Karasuma interjected, "but what he told you is true. This creature, who damaged the moon, will also destroy the Earth next March. The world's leaders are the only people who know about this."
He sighed, inhaling deeply. "Before the world is plunged into panic... They are exerting considerable effort to kill him behind the scenes." His movements were subtle, but Izumi glimpsed him reaching inside his jacket. "In other words,"—Karasuma whipped out a knife, attacking the octopus who managed to dodge efficiently—"an assassination."
His forehead creased in concentration as his attacks continued but without any of the stabs landing. "But at any rate," he huffed, sounding slightly out of breath, "this guy is fast!" It was too fast to be human, but then again this was the guy—who according to the world—destroyed the moon. "Far from killing him, I'm having my eyebrows trimmed by him! Meticulously, even!"
Everyone stared blankly as their new teacher zoomed around Karasuma, avoiding the slashes and stabs while attacking with a pair of tweezers. It was almost comical, if not for the fact that that very person could destroy their planet right now.
Karasuma finally stopped, his forehead glistening with sweat. "He is a super creature possessing enough power to transform a full moon into a crescent. As you already noticed, he is much faster than an average human. That is because his maximum speed is actually Mach 20!"
Class 3-E swallowed nervously as he proceeded to voice their very thoughts. "In other words, if this guy were to seriously run away, we would be helpless until the day of our destruction."
The octopus with his grinning expression that was utterly mockery at this point only kept his eyebrow trimming kit with a neat Snap! "Well, that wouldn't be any fun at all," he piped up cheerfully. "Which is why I made a proposal to the nations of the world. After all, I want to be killed as much as the next person.
"But… If I become the homeroom teacher for Kunugigaoka Junior High School, Class 3-E, then you're welcome to try. I won't stop you."
WHY?! Every students' head echoed that plea. Why did it have to be their class?
Karasuma shook his head, sighing. "We don't know his goal, but the government reluctantly consented. Our condition is that he cause absolutely no harm to you students. And yes, our reasons are twofold. As he will come to this classroom everyday as a teacher, we can observe him, and above all, with 30 people… you'll have the biggest chance to kill him from point-blank range!"
He quickly continued before anyone could voice their protests. "The reward for successful completion is 10 billion yen." The students froze, processing his words. Karasuma didn't seem afflicted by their reaction, shrugging. "It is only an appropriate sum. After all, the assassination's success means the Earth's salvation."
Izumi could've sworn she saw the octopus grin even wider. "Fortunately, this guy is looking down on you. See, when the green stripes appear, it's his mocking face."
True enough, horizontal stripes were now streaked across the octopus's face. 3-E didn't know whether to laugh or to cry out in despair. JUST WHAT KIND OF SKIN IS THAT?!
As if he had read their minds, his grin only widened as he continued, "It's only natural. There is no way all of you will be able to kill me when the government couldn't. When they attacked me with a state-of-the-art fighter plane... I gave it a mid-air waxing instead."
What is it with this guy and maintenance? Izumi mulled, leaning back in her chair.
"I would like you to strike if the opportunity presents itself," Karasuma said, nodding to his left. A woman stepped forward and popped open a metal briefcase with clear ease, presenting its contents. Inside there was a handgun and numerous survival knives similar to the one Karasuma had been using earlier. The weapons were all painted an unnatural green, raising some questions.
"We will provide all of you with bullets and knives which are effective against him, but harmless to you." As if to prove his point, he stabbed a knife it down his palm but the blade only bent like it was made of rubber. "This must be kept a secret from your family and friends. Understood?" Sealing everything away, he addressed them more seriously this time. "Anyway, time is short. If the Earth disappears, there will be nowhere to run!"
The octopus clapped his tentacles together happily, reminding Izumi of an over-enthusiastic camp counselor. "That's the long and short of it. Now, everyone, let's spend this final year in a meaningful fashion!"
Barely a week had passed, but Izumi was starting to see how their new homeroom teacher had managed to make laughing stocks out of the world's military units. The octopus—or Korosensei, as the class had decided to call him since he had no name to begun with—was living up to his name of impossible to kill.
Firing together in rapid succession? Fine with Korosensei, he could always just take attendance while dodging the bullets. Ambush? Nearly, but everyone got a lecture for putting other people in danger because of some kid was coerced into detonating a grenade around his neck. Trap? He could already tell what they were planning from the start. It was almost as if he could read their minds (which he vehemently denied quite flusteredly, given his panicked expression).
As the days dragged on, Izumi was beginning to regret ever having joined 3-E, along with having met Korosensei. She loved a good challenge as much as the next person, but this? It was literally impossible! All the class could do was plan another assassination attempt during lunch break while he was away in Malaysia for a laksa eating competition.
Groaning to herself, she ripped the earphones out and slumped forward on her desk. This was hopeless. The task was hopeless. Izumi scoffed to herself, shaking her head. As if they were ever going to manage pull it off. Was this some sick joke, having some school kids play hitmen for a year?
"Um… Takihara-san?"
Izumi lifted her head from the table, casting an irritated glance at the person. It was the girl who sat beside Shiota Nagisa (whose name she only remembered because of the little stunt he pulled a few days ago) with a smile on her face. "What is it?" Izumi asked, making no attempt in masking the frigidness in her voice.
"Well, I—I mean, we—were just wondering whether you would like to contribute any ideas to the rest of the class."
It was only then Izumi noticed that all eyes in the room were trained on her. She could feel their condescending gazes burning into her skin. So much for being non-existent sitting at the back. Seeing their expectant faces, Izumi sat up and gave them the reply they desired. "As a matter of fact, no I don't. And please don't include me in your future plans."
"But—"
"Let me get this straight," Izumi ignored the girl, crossing her legs elegantly. "The task given at hand is to assassinate our teacher. I apologize for bursting your little roleplay bubble, but that's not going to happen unless he offers to put his own head on the guillotine."
"You can't say that," Nagisa protested, standing up abruptly. "We have more people here who have a better chance of approaching him than any military in this world."
Izumi turned her gaze to Nagisa, her face perfectly calm. "And what difference will it make?" She held up her hand, pushing down the pinky. "First, you may have manpower, but what you are forgetting the fact that you are amateurs. Who in this class has actually planned and carried out a successful assassination before?"
She bent her ring finger. "Second, execution. Most of the class is physically fit, but this is not a sports event. The government may have given us guns and knifes, but we lack marksmanship and knife work. It's like giving car keys to an infant, ultimately serving no purpose."
"The last and the most important bit is Korosensei," Izumi added, pushing down her middle finger. "That creature is capable of moving at Mach 20, while the fastest known jets in the world can only reach about Mach 3.5. Say you do manage to make him fall for one of your traps, how are you supposed to prevent him from dodging your bullets and guns?"
Everyone was silent, as the reality of it all was finally laid out before them. Izumi clicked her tongue. "Though, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Given the severity of it all, the government will step in sooner or later and help to hone the skills required."
"So what you mean is someone from the government might be sent to train us?" a boy Izumi managed to recognize as Isogai Yuma mused.
"Will," Izumi corrected. "I imagine they must be really feeling desperate right now. Just continue with whatever you are doing in the meantime and keep me out of it. You can learn properly from the professionals later on if you want."
The green-haired girl looked infuriated. "You can't do that, Takihara-san!"
"Kayano-chan…" Nagisa started.
"No!" Kayano protested. "Takahira-san yourself said that we should continue with our assassination attempts, and that includes you. You're a part of this class yourself!"
Izumi turned to Kayano, a clear menacing glint dancing in her eyes. "Perhaps I hadn't made myself clear," she intoned with a subtle anger laced in her voice. It sent shudders of fear down everybody's backs. "I do not intend to partake in any assassination attempts anytime in the near future. Please kindly take that into account and leave me out of whatever plans you are making, Kayano-chan."
Kayano hung her head low amidst the choking silence established by Izumi in the room. "Why…" she murmured. Clenching her fists, her voice grew louder as she demanded, "Why is it that you act so nonchalant about this? Don't you feel anything? In less than a year, Korosensei will destroy the Earth!"
Izumi picked up her earphones and inserted the earpieces in her ears. "Then I guess we will just die along with it for our incompetence."
After that, no one tried to talk to her about assassinations anymore. Or anything, for that matter.
A/N: Bad start, I know. Oh well, I was never particularly good at this writing thing to begin with. How do you readers feel about Izumi? Like her? Hate her? Neutral? Let me know in the reviews please! Have a nice day :)