A/N- this an AU in which pietro lives by the way bc he's my tiny son and deserves better

"Look at the old man," Pietro giggles softly in Sokovian and nudges Wanda, who shakes her head bemusedly but looks over anyways. In an armchair across the room, Clint is staring at his phone with a smile on his face. A burst of wind and a blue blur that whooshes past him a few seconds later comes back to sit on the couch by Wanda, who is pretending to be absorbed in the book she's holding.

"He's looking at pet videos!" the older twin mumbles gleefully. "What a tough guy. You know, the other day I nearly made him cry? Just by dropping a plate near him. It triggered his mother hen instinct. He's become a family man."

Wanda can't help but laugh at that.

"The old man might have to retire to become a full fledged housewife," Pietro continues viciously.

"Pietro, you shouldn't," Wanda replies in their language, chucking a little nevertheless.

"It's not like they understand us."

Neither of the twins notice Natasha, tapping away at her tablet and curled up in the corner, slyly look up at them and smirk.

"Did you know the tin man dances to that band when he's alone? The one with the screaming and guitars?"

The other Avengers hardly look up from the movie, having grown quite accustomed to Pietro and Wanda having side conversations in Sokovian.

Tony reaches across Pietro lazily for the popcorn and keeps watching the James Bond movie Natasha had chosen as the speedster continues. "He was like Anna Pavlova. And he kept bopping his head and moving his arms, you should have seen him," Pietro says, laughing nearly silently. "He should compete in that show. The one with the dancing and the stars?"

"Oh, Pietro," Wanda sighs, rolling her eyes. A smile steals across her face as she imagines the billionaire dancing to AC/DC in his lab with lots of twirling and arm-flailing and headbanging. A few minutes go by before she speaks to her brother again. "You should have videotaped him."

They hear a slight laugh from Natasha, even though there isn't anything particularly funny happening onscreen.

"Stars and stripes won't let me look inside his sketchbook," Pietro says at breakfast. Steve asks for the syrup and the younger Avenger hands him the bottle before continuing. "I tried to steal it while he was in the shower but he locks the drawer he puts it in. Maybe all the pictures are of naked people or something," he giggles wildly.

"Have you tried getting the key?"

"I don't know where he puts it."

"Why do you want it?"

Pietro shoves a whole pancake in his mouth and says in a very muffled voice, "Maybe he's like Picasso. Or maybe he's been writing plans and things in there and just telling us he's drawing. A soldier never relaxes, you know," he says seriously, his eyes widening comically. "I am curious. I want to know more."

"The key's under the vase on his dresser, don't snoop while he's inside the building," Natasha responds in perfect Sokovian.

Wanda drops her fork and Pietro chokes on the orange juice he's chugging as every single snarky, sarcastic thing about each Avenger he'd told Wanda in Sokovian rushes back to him.

The two Maximoffs stare at the agent with their mouths hanging open. Natasha nods at them curtly and neatly picks up her plate and rinses it.

"I didn't know you could speak Sokovian," Clint calls after her.

"I didn't know you watch cat videos in your freetime," Natasha responds "Pietro helped enlighten me."

There is a brief moment of stillness in which Clint turns white, then red, then purple, and Pietro makes a small noise of distress in the back of his throat. "You are so dead, you little shit," Clint screeches. Pietro yelps and shoots out of his seat with the archer yelling profanity and chasing after him.

"Wait," Sam says in sudden realization. "What else has he been telling Wanda in Sokovian then?"

The other Avengers at the table slowly turn to look at Wanda, who stares back, a deer in headlights.

"Pietro is so dead," she mumbles.