Disclaimer: I don't own Due South in any way, shape or form. No copyright infringement is intended. This is just for fun. I think that fanfic is a good way to explore what happens in between, and as a result of, the episodes. So, on with the exploration.

Notes: Credit to elle-ze-bob for suggesting the dubious, overheard conversation which precipitated this snippet. It's all her fault... really.

Pairing: Gen - Fraser, RayK, Thatcher, Welsh
Rating: M
Warnings: one explicit colloquialism
Length: 300
Prompt: cardboard, homoerotic, That no one knows what is good, Who knows not what is evil; And no one knows what is true, Who knows not what is false. (Edgar Lee Masters, "Seth Compton")

Constructive Naivety

"It's just a saying Fraser."

"Well, I know he was saying it Ray. I just think that we should get some form of welfare service involved."

Ray sighed heavily as they entered the squad room. "Look, its something ya say. Like - this is like drinking cardboard." He took a sip of his coffee and pulled a face. "Which it is."

"Ah, might I suggest a different beverage container."

Ray stared at him is despair, throwing a beseeching look at Thatcher and Welsh as they approached from the Lieutenant's office.

"It's a colloquialism Constable," explained Thatcher patiently. "An expression some people use in certain situations to describe things in an informal yet exaggerated manner, thus conveying something entirely different to what it sounds like they're actually saying."

"Right," said Ray, looking slightly uncertain.

"He means his coffee is lacking in substance and flavour," concluded the Inspector.

"There ya go," agreed Ray.

"Ah," said Fraser, enlightenment showing in his eyes. Then with a completely innocent expression he asked, "So, when the gentleman was referring to 'spanking his boyfriend's monkey' there was no actual injury to an animal involved?"

Ray choked on his cardboard coffee. Welsh raised a hand to his head as though in pain and retreated to the safety of his office. Someone dropped a stack of files.

Thatcher turned a rather interesting shade of red, closely matching the colour of her subordinate's uniform, her face displaying an impressive range of contortive expressions.

"Never mind," she finally ground out, stalking away as fast as dignity allowed.

Ray's hysterical laughter was loud in the near silent room. He was doubled up, slapping his thighs, tears streaming down his face and seemingly struggling for breath. Fraser regarded him with a bemused look. He wore that expression for the rest of the day.

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