Juke Box Hero
He was making the final adjustments. His guitar was polished and tuned, his leather pants tightened. He stood behind the closed curtains, a nervous sweat running down his brow. The drummer and bassist stood beside him, ready for anything to come their way. They heard the crowd screaming behind beyond the curtains, anticipating their debut performance.
This is it.
Curtains up.
The crowd went deathly silent. The only sound was the gentle humming of the stage lights. The time had come, no turning back. It was time to rock.
Standing in the rain…
With his head hung low.
Couldn't get a ticket…
It was a sold-out show.
The slow, gradual melody was accompanied by a steady throb of bass. The entire audience was on the edge of their metaphorical seats. If you had a knife, you could cut the tension in the air.
Through the roar of the crowd…
He could rip through the seams.
Put his head to the wall…
And like a distant scream…
HE HEARD ONE GUITAR!
The first chord started it all. As his hand strummed across the strings of his Chernobyl-brand Atomic Guitar, a shockwave of pure rock and roll energy rocketed across the stadium. At close range, everyone in the front 5 rows were blown back with the force of a hurricane, falling down like human bowling pins. Everyone else in the crown uproared in pure awe and amazement. And that was just the first note!
IT JUST BLEW HIM AWAY!
SAW STARS IN HIS EYES!
The intense lyrics were screamed through the microphone, on levels that could not be measured by mere decibels. The raw lyrics accompanied by the earth-shattering guitar chords shattered the eardrums of anyone close by. But they did not care, the song was way to awesome to care about such petty wounds.
THAT ONE GUITAR!
FELT GOOD IN HIS HAND!
DIDN'T TAKE LONG!
TO UNDERSTAND!
The words echoed beyond the stadium and throughout the valley, shaking the foundation of the very building surrounding it. Highways cracked open and people fled their vehicles, rushing towards the source of the godly sounds. Within seconds, the stadium was filled beyond capacity. Piles of people stood atop each other, all screaming and raving above the intense melody, the scent of sweat and adrenaline pumping through the air.
AND HE'S GONNA ROCK HIS WAY TO THE TOP, TO BE A…
JUKE BOX HERO!
Upon the utter of those otherworldly words, all Hell broke loose. The stadium split down the middle, sending molten magma rocketing to the surface. Everyone in the stadium could not mentally comprehend the pure awesomeness of rock and roll, developing massive brain tumors and having epileptic seizures. Every female in a ten mile radius, be they human or animal, orgasmed.
His fingers were like lightning bolts, zooming up his guitar and back down again as he shredded a wicked riff. The amps exploded in a shower of sparks, incinerating the curtains. The guitar burst into flames, sending a vortex of fire into the air, cutting a hole through the sky. Meteors rained down from the heavens, causing collateral damage and massive tremors.
The symphony of destruction echoed across the globe. Everyone on plantet Earth converged towards the epicenter of pure awesomeness, abandoning his or her homes and former lives to become a slave to rock and roll. The sound was so great, that the deceased rose from their graves to get a taste of the godly sounds. Chinese, Americans, Europeans, Africans, Australians, Hawaiians, Muslims, Russians, Jews, Antarcticans, Elves, Daedras, the undead, fish, Yetis, SCPs, Aztecs, Mayans, Vulcans, Martians, and any other race of intelligent life imaginable were at the stadium. The devil even let open the gates of Hell to let the lost souls listen to the epicness. It was the greatest concert to ever exist.
The ending solo was shredding on, the entire crowd was screaming along to the ear-shattering guitar. Half of the people in the audience were exploding into clouds of pure testosterone from over-exposure to awesome. The song concluded on a high note, the guitarist slamming his guitar into the stage.
The resulting subatomic interdimensional nuclear blast destroyed the universe, and every other universe, in an explosion of pure rock and roll.
And not a single fuck was given that day.