"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run."
It was an average night out on the streets of Los Angeles. Stars twinkled far above the tall skyscrapers, dominating the city. Police sirens sounded in the background, as the single man dashed down the sidewalk, pushing aside pedestrians: the old lady on her way to a funeral, the well dressed man avoiding all of the puddles, the overdressed fat lady with a Chihuahua in her alligator skin purse.
Duncan ran down the street, his baton twirling in his hand as he shoved aside the same people. The Chihuahua barked angrily, to which Duncan stuck out his tongue in response as he dashed by. He stomped in a puddle, spraying the well dressed man. "Get back here!" He shrieked over the hustle and bustle of the city. He smoothed back his towering Mohawk as he picked up the pace.
Finally the man, with a ski mask pulled down over his head, came into arm's distance. Duncan braced his knees, and clenched his teeth. He leapt forward, almost smashing into a little kid with a giant lollipop, reaching for the back of the man's leather jacket.
Time moved in slow motion as he flew through the air. The tips of his fingers brushed the back of the man's jacket. It was too late to see the glinting iron death-machine in the man's hand. He whirled around, and put the gun to his chest. He pulled the trigger, and sent the ringing sound resounding through the streets of Los Angeles. Blood exploded from the back of Duncan's police blazer, staining the fabric as his lifeless body fell to the ground.
"If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest."
GAME OVER
"CRAP!" Duncan McMillan (Cocky Police Captain) threw his controller to the ground, fracturing the plastic. The screen of his TV zoomed out over the streets of Los Angeles as the criminal his avatar was chasing ran away. The digital onlookers gasped.
NoahCoolidgebeard (Unmotivated Police Lieutenant), sitting beside him in the backrooms of headquarters, folded his arms behind his head and looked at Duncan coolly. "That's the fourth controller you've broken." He observed.
Duncan smiled awkwardly. "You'll pay for this one too, right?" He requested/ commanded.
Noah raised his hand to his forehead in a mock salute. "Aye, aye captain!" He said sarcastically.
"You know I'll pay you back eventually!" Duncan protested, glaring.
"Eventually is the key word here!" Noah said.
Before Duncan could respond, the radio clipped to his belt buzzed with static. He motioned to Noah to wait just a second, raising the radio his ear.
Noah mouthed, "Sure" to him sarcastically, exiting the small room by the only simple door.
Duncan rolled his eyes as the shrill voice of the police chief echoed of the small device. "Captain McMillan!" She spat out his name with animosity.
"I told you that you can call me Duncan," He reminded her flirtatiously.
You could practically hear the police captain's fists clench over the line. "What happened to the paperwork from the Peacock Floorboard case?" She demanded.
Duncan scratched his head. "I think I might have used that one as toilet paper. You'll just have to check our sewage system to be sure." He smirked from ear to ear.
"Very funny." The chief said sarcastically. "But I didn't get to be the first female chief in our system by dealing with impudent bums like you! I don't have time to deal with your act today!" She growled.
"Fine, fine. I already filed them with Mr. Scott. You'll have to talk to him." Duncan said, coming up with an excuse for not having them.
"You can be so difficult sometimes…" The chief said. "Good day to you, then!" She finished.
"Bye Courtney!" Duncan said.
"That's Chief Strike to you!" She yelled through the line, before hanging up.
Duncan clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "She can be so difficult." He walked out of the back room, which had empty soda cans and bags of chips strewn everywhere. He emerged into his and Noah's office room. But "office" was a bad word to describe the room. It was more of a room with two desks and papers strewn everywhere.
Noah was playing Tetris on his cell phone at his desk.
Duncan called out to him. "Noah!" The Lieutenant looked up with a bored expression on his face. "I told the chief that I filed the Peacock Floorboard case with Mr. Scott! We need to find it, like, now!" He commanded.
Noah remembered the last time the chief got mad. He was convinced that a volcano would erupt underneath the city. He threw himself to the ground with Duncan as they rapidly sorted through the papers currently living there. "It's never been the same since you fired the previous secretary!" Noah stated.
Duncan ignored him, sliding around the floor. The door on the other end of the room flew open, and an extremely sweaty Cody Scott (Nervous Secretary) ran inside, instantly slipping on one of the pieces of paper. It glided through the air, landing on Duncan's head. He looked at it and smiled.
Cody jumped to his feet. He was wearing his regular attire. A short sleeved dress shirt with a loose tie and khakis. His armpits were soaked through with body-juice, as he adjusted his collar. "Chief Strike c-called and told me that y-you filed the Peacock Floorboard case with m-me, but I n-never got it!" He explained nervously, practically shaking.
Duncan got up and showed him the piece of paper that he tripped on, handing it to the secretary. "I just did." He smiled, winking.
Cody looked like he was about to faint as he exited the room. "Y-yes sir."
"I pity the fool." Noah crossed his arms as he continued to lie on the floor. Duncan shot him a look that told him never to quote the A-team again.
"Civilization is a youth with a molotov cocktail in his hand. Culture is the Soviet tank or L.A. cop that guns him down."
A/N- And that's the first chapter! This was simply a prologue to introduce some of the characters and give incite to what the series is all about.
Today's Quotes Came From: - Dennis Miller, Kin Hubbard, and Edward Abbey.
Considering how bored I'm gonna be over Christmas break, this should be updated soon!