Disclaimer: I do not own Angel, you know the basics.
Thanks to: Lara for beta reading the story!
Authors Note: It's in second point of view to give it more of a personal touch.
Spoilers for 'A Hole in the World'.
You can't erase certain parts of your life, no matter how hard you try. Your notebooks are filled with accounts of everything, including her. You tried to throw them away, rip them, and even set them off in a burning flame. You can't, but you try anyway.
That year filled with sorrow, the reasons of the pain, are just gaps in your head that you try to figure out. During that year, you wanted to forget her. You tried to lose yourself in someone else. You forgot about her for only moments, but then her face came to your mind, and guilt overwhelmed you.
Every where you looked, there would be pieces and reminders of her. The bright city lights, her bright brown eyes. The chill of the wind, her leaning subconsciously closer to you for warmth. The light of the moon, her face shining luminously.
Though through time, what do you have to show for it? Two stolen kisses, a few secret glances, and bunches of misheard words.
Then the impossible happened. She fell in love with you. You made thousands of blinded moves, and she just made a few. And then the kiss happened and changed your world.
Your stomach doesn't stop having the butterflies; they just get faster when she smiles at you. Your heart leaps even higher when she walks into the room. And your feelings just grow stronger. Faster. Higher. Stronger. Just because you know the feelings are mutual.
Now she is dying. She looks up at you with glassy eyes, and you know you will start crying again. You wonder if it would have been better if she never fell in love with you.
You wish you can forget her. Her pain spreads to you. You pray not to feel this way.
She touches your hand and brings her cheek to yours and whispers softly, "I love you."
And after that, you know you never want to erase those words.