Disclaimer: I do not own anything Nintendo or Shakespeare related. The rest mostly belongs to my subconscious.

NOTE: I figure I shouldn't take any credit for any of this one-shot because it came from my subconscious and I have no idea how original or not original everything is. But I really want to share it since I found it amusing.

Since my dreams aren't too detailed on certain things, I added in some stuff, but it is almost all from the dream. Okay, okay, actually, I had too much fun writing this and ended up adding more than I'd planned to add even though it's still not very long.

Rainbow Palm Trees

Zelda calmly took in her beautiful surroundings: a lovely white-sand beach with the soothing waves against the shore, the bright sun against the blue, blue sky with puffy white clouds floating in the comfortable breeze, the seagulls soaring in the sky, and the vivid, rainbow-colored palm trees.

Zelda had time to take a deep, relaxing breath when there was a pop and a clown appeared out of thin air five feet away from her. The clown grinned creepily at Zelda; she screamed and ran. The clown tilted his head to the side, considering for a moment and then sprinted off after her.

The two zigzagged through the rainbow palm trees until Zelda found the sense to climb one.

Zelda proceeded to drop a bowling ball and a coconut, and throw a banana and a tennis ball at the clown. The bowling ball landed on his foot, the coconut on his other foot, the banana missed, and the tennis ball hit him hard on the head.

There was another pop and the clown turned into Link.

Link got down on one knee and romantic music started playing in the background. Link then started spouting lines from the balcony scene in Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet."

Zelda's reaction was to spit on Link's head. Link ran in small circles screeching, "Eeeewww!"

Out of nowhere, a green, vertical pipe came into existence in the sky above Link's head. Mario fell out of it, bursting the balloon Tingle was hanging on to. Tingle squashed Link and Mario fell on top of Tingle; this squashed Link even more.

Tingle ran off to the edge of where the trees were and climbed into one.

As soon as Link stood up, a gopher hole that had not been there two seconds ago, materialized under Link's feet. Luigi tried to pull himself out of it, but found a green-clad brat in the way. Luigi pulled himself out as much as he could (putting him in a very awkward position) and karate chopped the back of Link's leg, making him fall out of the way. A gopher then popped Luigi out of the hole, sending him five feet in the air after which, he landed on top of Link. Link was grateful it wasn't Mario who landed on him, although Luigi was quite bony.

Link had enough of this, and after several failed attempts at climbing, got himself in the palm tree with Zelda.

Zelda pushed him out. He climbed up again and gave Zelda a pot of gold to allow him to sit on the tree with her.

Navi and Tatl were suddenly in front of Link and Zelda, arguing over Links hat. They argued like this for a while until Link's hat, Ezlo, woke up and complained that the two were giving him a headache. The three of them continued to bicker until Zelda grabbed Navi and Tatl, tied them to Ezlo, and threw the three of them onto the tree Tingle was in.

Tingle rejoiced in having the fairies with him. He did a happy dance that resulted in him falling backwards out of the tree to land on his head. When he climbed back up, he tried to sell maps to the three newcomers, but he failed miserably. The three smaller beings pushed him roughly out of the tree. He fell into a giant gopher hole. The gopher beat him up. After the badly bruised Tingle climbed up again the four began to debate why Link was born, why he wasn't dead yet, the different ways he could still die, and how the four of them could…help…him die. Tingle eventually got annoyed with the three smaller beings' screechy voices and tossed them into the ocean.

Navi, Tatl, and Ezlo never resurfaced; instead, Morpha bounced out of the water onto the beach. Mario and Luigi saw the ball. They took it and started tossing Morpha back and forth between them.

Morpha got dizzy and threw up. Mario and Luigi felt sorry for him. They shared a group hug and the three of them skipped into the sea as happy as can be.

A roaring sound came from the left and right of the beach. It got louder as a bunch of go karts came into sight.

They zoomed around and around the grove of rainbow palms, running over anything that got in the way. Some of the more terrible drivers rammed the trees. The tree Tingle was in was especially rammed a lot. He eventually fell out and got run over, run into, and dragged around until his clothes were in tatters.

At some point, the thought of selling maps to Link crossed Tingle's mind. In between all the getting run over, Tingle came up with a plan. He grabbed onto the back of one of the karts which hit a ramp and glided over the trees. After many tries, Tingle succeeded in landing in the right tree. Link wouldn't buy a map. He bought a recipe for making the perfect Buffalo wings after hours of price negotiation. Link ended up paying 12.345321 rupees for the recipe. Then Zelda gleefully pushed Tingle out of the tree where he got run over some more.

Zelda demanded that Link entertain her or she'd make him fall in the melee of go karts. Link quickly hopped to a nearby tree. He lost his balance and fell on top of a racing kart. After having a philosophical conversation with the driver, Link jumped into the tree he had been trying to land on.

He turned into the clown again and started juggling. This all ended badly when he tried to juggle fire. He was solely responsible for burning himself, the tree he was in, and half of the other trees in the grove.

While they were burning, there was a loud boom and lots of smoke and then Link was himself again, despite the flames than made him a living torch.

One of the burned trees included the one Tingle was in. He jumped into the ocean where he was dragged down by an unknown force (I have suspicions it was the three he threw earlier). He escaped by floating up on a balloon he conjured out of thin air.

Zelda's tree remained unharmed, though all the trees around her were gone…

She laughed hysterically when Link caught on fire and danced around like an idiot, trying to put out the flames. She continued to demand more entertainment as Link got run over by karts.

Link pulled out a blow dart gun and tried to shoot Tingle's balloon with the intent of bringing him to the ground, capturing him and dressing him up as Zelda. His aim was sooo off. He ended up shooting Zelda in the forehead. She passed out and fell out of the tree. By this time, all the go karts had cleared out, so Zelda got away with not being run over.

The charred Link was suddenly wearing a belt made out of brownies. Tingle came down to the ground and started chasing Link, trying to eat it.

Link took the belt off and started swinging it above his head. Pieces of it broke off and flew all over the area. Everyone got to eat some except for Zelda because she was still unconscious. Even the gophers ate some. They all died of food poisoning soon after.

With no warning, a huge moon with a cheerful smile crashed into the beach. This event somehow zapped everyone to another place. They all ended up at a dance party where they all danced crazily until they died. Link died first. The last one to die was Zelda since she was still unconscious but was dancing anyway. She won a chocolate cake but died before she even knew she won.

A rainbow appeared over the bodies and then they all woke up inside of a sun. It was really bright, but also nice and warm in there. Everyone made a pact to get along, made brownies together, and lived happily ever after.

Note: And then I woke up. Pretty interesting dream, huh?

I'm catching a cold so I usually have theses wild, random, vivid dreams when I'm sick. This one happened to be lots of fun.

I have noticed that I have trouble translating my dreams into words, so if there's something that doesn't make much sense in how it's worded, please let me know. Oh, and it did get a bit repetitive and inconsistent, just so you know that I'm aware of that.

I hope you enjoyed reading this. Thank you for reading! Please, please review and tell me how I can be better.

Update: Thank you for the reviews! They've been helpful. I've already fixed the mistakes that have been pointed out so far.

I also wrote a new ending so that no one had to die.