So, I'm in the process of writing another story as well. But I got the idea for this story... a lot of what will happen to Gabriella happened to me, in a sense. I guess... The letter is something I did for my best friend. Whom I have feelings for... read and review?
Gabriella Montez was in love with her best friend, Troy Bolton.
The seventeen year old Latino opened a word document up on her computer. She was ready to pour her feelings out to a her best friend.
Dear Troy,
Okay, so you're probably reading this right now, hopefully alone. In your room. Now that you have hopefully taken that as a clue to go in your room, alone. You may now put the CD I have for you in that cool little CD player you have in your room. But as soon as the first song starts playing, please pause it. I have more instructions for you. :)
As Gabriella typed away at her computer, she smiled a little to herself, imagining that Troy was making his way to his room, away from his mother and father. Laying down on his comfy bed.
So, it's silent in your room, maybe. But anyway, hi. I don't want you to jump ahead, I want you to fully listen to everything because you read on or skip on, okay? Thanks! Let's start. I just want to pour my heart out to you. Because I know you'll listen. By the end of this whole thing, I will have cried my heart you writing this to you. Well, I guess. Here goes nothing. Click play now.
1. Here Goes Nothin'; Never Shout Never. So I picked this song to be the first, because well. Here goes nothing I guess. Aha, just going to pour my heart out real quick. "CHECK, CHECK 1, 2 ALRIGHT, HERE GOES NOTHING" No real reason for picking this song, cept for here goes everything.
Easy enough, Gabriella commented to herself. Now, it was going to get harder for her to open up to someone.
2. For the Love of a Daughter; Demi Lovato - I picked this song because of my mother. I know, in the song it said "father" but I mean mother. I don't really like talking about her. But if I have to, I will. Sometimes, I just wish I could open up to people. I have that problem, I don't. I'm so closed off when it comes to talking about feelings, problems, and being hurt. I come off like I like talking about my problems, but I really don't. I feel like when I am closed off, I won't be as hurt as I would be if I opened up. But I guess, when it comes to my mother, that's one person who I don't like talking about. It hurts when people talk about how much they hate their mom or dad, or how bad of a parent they are. When really, they should be thankful for them, because they're there for their child. She was never there for me. I don't love her. I grew up without the women who gave birth to me. I'm allowed to be angry that she was never in my life right? My whole thing about her is, if she wanted to be here, she would. Maybe I've only heard one side of the story. But I know that my father is a better parent than she ever was. You know why? He was at least here. Seeing me take my first step, hearing my first word. Seeing me become who I am today. I cant say that about her.. "And we can't take back, what we never had." I just cry hearing that. I cry hearing this entire song, really. This song makes me respect Demi as an artist so much more than I did before, because she wrote this song. I've been waiting to hear this for years now, literally. She connected my feelings with a song. On the way home from Chad's house the other night, I had a lot of thoughts just running through my head about my mother. "Don't you remember, I'm your babygirl, how could throw me right out of your world? So young when the pain it begun, now forever afraid of being alone." My mother is where I get alot of my being closed off from people. I just feel like if I ever love someone, they'll leave me, like she did. I just don't understand how someone could do that. I don't get how someone can just decide to leave one day. "I'd love to leave you alone, but I can't let you go." I just want to forget about her. Forget about someone who gave birth to me is hard, but sometimes I wish I could. I've never really opened up to anyone about her, except for my dad. But I think he understands.
Tears were now flowing from the brunette's eyes. She had to find the right words to tell Troy everything. Even things he didn't know about her.
3. Butterfly Fly Away; Miley Cyrus. - Okay, so. This song, is my dad. My wonderful father. I love him so much. He had to raise me and my brother, on his own. And I love him, and respect him so much. I cried so hard when I first heard this. Because I was like "Does Miley Cyrus, know my life orrr?" I love my dad so much. Carlos Montez is an amazing person. I first heard this song when my dad was going through alot of health issues, and when I heard this, it was the day he went back into the hospital. And I thank God because He kept that man in my life. He's seriously the best person in my life. I grew up, and he was there. "You had to do it all alone, make a living make a home. Must have been as hard as it could be." My dad has always had hardships when it came to raising my brother and I. But he always managed to get what needed to be done for us. He put our wants and needs before his. And even though he has a hard time handling everything. With me, with his drinking and smoking problem, with his father. I depended on him growing up, and he was there for me. He still is. He was there to see me grow up. I love him for that. I love that he never left me. He helped me become the person I am right now, today. That's why this song is so important to me. He's so important to me. He helped me. He taught me. He loves me.
She smiled slightly at the thought of her father. The only man she ever really trusted. She loved him and her twenty one year old brother, Gavin.
4. Dear God; Avenged Sevenfold. - This song is for Princess. I can remember, one time we were coming back from my Grandpa's house at Christmas time, and Gavin had his Ipod plugged into the radio thing in the car. And this song came on, and he said "This song is for when I get deployed." And I didn't really listen to the words. And I never believed he would get deployed, but it's happening. When I listen to this song, I cry. "Dear God, the only thing I ask of you is to hold her when I'm not around." In my head, because I'm selfish, I think he's asking God to watch over me. Gavin is seriously, the best brother I could ask for. I don't know if you've noticed at all, but I love and look up to my brother so much. He's so good to me. and I don't deserve it. He's there for me, when I need it. And I love him ALOT. He's going to make an amazing husband one day to anyone who's lucky enough to have him. I am so happy I am the younger sister to Gavin Robert Montez, because I'd be jealous if anyone else was. I love my brother so much. And I respect him so much. He pulls through for me when I need it. He might not be there for me emotionally and he might not show his love by giving me hugs and telling me he loves me, but I think his way of showing me loves me, is by giving me things I need. Like money or rides, or even hugs sometimes. hehe. He's so good to me and I don't deserve it, because I'm a crappy sister sometimes. But like I said, he's going to make someone a great husband someday, and when that day comes, I know he'll have a daughter. And he'll be even more protective over her than he is for me. And I can't wait to be called Aunt Gabi by one of his children. Because they'll be stubborn like he is, but they'd do anything for anyone they love. Just like my brother does. I love him. I wouldn't want anyone else to be my brother.
Gavin Montez was the type of person who would give anything to help someone. And that's what Gabriella had loved about her brother so much. He was the sweetest yet coldest person anyone could meet.
5. Yesterday; Atmosphere - So, this song. It reminds me of my Grandpa and my dad. Their relationship is not a good one. and I wish they were okay. My grandpa is so stubborn, and I've seen my dad so upset about it. They used to have such a good relationship, and then one day had a falling out a while ago. And they don't talk often now. My grandpa has cancer now... it happened about the same time James' had his. And I was more upset because my grandpa was so closed off. And my dad constantly just...begs me to never let him become like his dad. My grandpa always said that to my dad. And I don't know what I would do if my dad ever ended up being like him. I wouldn't give up though... I know I wouldn't do that, honestly. I love my grandpa, I do. It's partly my fault for letting the relationship him and I have become so distant.
Gabriella swallowed hard for the next song that she had picked to share with her best friend, Troy. Troy knew about her self harm, but he didn't know the extent that Gabriella was about to share with him.
6. Hold On; Good Charlotte - I don't know where to start with this song. I guess it started in eighth grade. I became suicidal, and depressed and just unhappy with myself all together. I never felt good enough for anything, or anyone. I made myself throw up.. I can remember the night I started it.. I don't know what set me off to do it. But I was in my room, alone. And it was right before I went to bed.. I felt so… fat, it released so much pent up sadness, and anger that was in my body, I guess. My dad at this point, was at the bar getting drunk every night. And Gavin, it was his senior year in high school, he had so much going on. No one seemed to notice that I was depressed, because I hid it so well. I still do. And I was to the point, where I was ready to take my own life. I would've... but I was worried it would hurt to much. I was that depressed, and I just, I felt worthless. I stopped for awhile, but then it picked up again in ninth grade, and it wasn't as worse. Then tenth grade was when I had my first real heartbreak, and it wasn't even to someone I was dating. James. My gosh, I was inlove with that freaking kid. Listening to this song, at night when I was feeling lonely, and worthless would just make easier to want to wake up the next morning, I guess.
7. World Of Chances; Demi Lovato - This song, is about James. I became friends with him in my tenth grade year. And almost instantly, I liked him. He was older and I guess that's what also drew me to him. I remember when I met him for the first time, it was at musical practice. Sharpay had to be there, and I was with her, and she had told him to come to, because they were friends. I went to McDonalds in the car with him, and I remember saying "I'M IN A CAR WITH A BOY!" and he stopped the car, and was like GET OUT. I remember telling him that this song reminded me of him, not because I had feelings for him at the time, because I never told him that I did. But because he was so in love with Sharpay, I was afraid he'd never see someone else, and when he did. That girl would have given up on him and moved on. And I hoped that would be me. That one day, he would've seen how much I loved him, and how much I cared about him. But he never saw the pent up love I had for him, I don't think he ever will. My luck with love sucks.
8. I'm Not That Girl; Wicked - This is THEE song. My song, dedicated to James Marshall. It kind of represents the feelings I had for him. I would stay up so late to talk to him, on a school night. We'd have amazing conversations about life, and love. These heart to hearts would last until like 3AM on school nights. And I was content with it. I loved him. And he was inlove with Shar. I could relate to him more than any guy I talked to then. I never really had feelings for anyone before this point. And when he told me he had feelings for Sharpay, I just... I don't even know. That is what broke me, that is what hurt me. It's because he saw me as his best friend, not as someone he could love. Because I had so much love for him. I would cry myself to sleep sometimes at night, just wondering what was so wrong with me, wondering why he didn't love me. I loved him. And I never even told him. I still haven't. I'd text him every morning on my way to school "Good morning, I hate you, less than three." We'd hang out at Sharpay's house. And as she would hang all over his best friend, Michael, he would watch. Being in love with her. He'd be upset...of course. and I'd be "THE FRIEND" he would vent to. We'd sit next to each other on Sharpay's couch, watching a movie, and texting. Even though we were sitting right next to each other. I'd have so many good conversations with him, about everything. Anything. He was my first heartbreak. He was everything I looked for in a guy. I can still remember, one time, at Sharpay's house, I was fixing the mess made for dinner. And James had just gotten there. Sharpay's mom and dad were at work, and everyone else had hugged him, and I still hadn't. And he came up behind me, like you see the movies, and he hugged me. And told me I smelled good. I had never gotten butterflies in my stomach before then, but I did. I began to love everything about James Samuel Marshall. He didn't drench himself in cologne like every other guy did but he smelled like laundry detergent. Which I love, and he knew that. I began to think that I was unlovable. I still do sometimes. I would think in my head, every night, when I would be up texting him late, listening to him as he talked about Sharpay, and how good he would be for her. In my head I was just thinking that's me. I could love you, so hard. And just be, amazing for you. I began to think that I was just unlovable. No one seemed to understand... I always felt like I was in competition with Sharpay, for everything. I never felt good enough. I still don't. Even now. When I love, I love hard. It's not just, oh I love that person. I just wasn't that girl, I guess. I don't think I'll ever be.
Gabriella stared at the document for a second before taking a deep breath. This next song was the reason why she had decided to do this. She needed to have the courage to do this.
9. Blame It On The Rain; He is We - So, this is when it gets awkward. I guess, if you listen to the words, you'll understand. I think what I'm basically trying to say in this song, is I have feelings for you. I mean, yes. I've always secretly like, been in love with you. But when I we hung out last Christmas Eve at Chad's house and we were stuck under the mistletoe, and we almost kissed. I went home and just went crazy. I kept thinking "what's wrong with me." I just kept thinking, we'd be so good together. Remember when we were in third grade? I went up to your mom, and I told her that I was going to marry you? Hahaha. I was so stupid, because we didn't even know each other. "Does she look at you the way I do? Try to understand the words you say, and the way you move." I mean, have you ever really noticed how smiley I am, and happy I am when I'm around you? How do you not notice that I am just, happy to be with you, in general. I just think, you and I would be so good for each other. We know each other so well. You're like me, with a penis. I don't know, I just see us being happy together. And it was never really in my mind, until Taylor and Chad were talking about it at lunch one day. And then Taylor brought it up to me one day. And I just started thinking about it... and now, I'm just like, falling for you. No matter what girl you start to have feelings for Troy, I feel like they'll never really understand you. I love you Troy. It's you. It's always been you.
10. I Will Follow You Into The Dark- Death Cab For Cutie; You may now change it to the last song, okay! I remember the first time we listened to this song together. We were hanging out in your room, and you put the song on. And I exclaimed how much I loved that song. Then we danced to it in your room. Around and around. It was perfect. Anyway, I hope you liked this, because it took me alot to actually do this. At first, I was really nervous about doing this. This was the first time I ever really talked about my true feelings about anything with anyone. And I'm glad it was you, I know I can trust you. You've been a huge influence in my life. Thank you, you're an amazing friend to me. Thank you for being someone in my life, I can trust. Please keep this amazing letter till you die. Who would've thought that the kid who hated me in seventh grade would become one of my best friends? Not me. But I guess it happened, and I guess this is real life. You know? I hope you've enjoyed my last song that I've picked, because well, It's our song. I'll always be here for you, Troy. No matter how mad I am at you. You're an amazing friend, and forever will be. You're an amazing person, and you're gonna go superduper far in life, I hope you know that. You just have to put your heart into it, which you always do. You have the ability to do anything. I love you again, just thought I'd tell you. As much as you piss me off sometimes, I love you. You're an amazing friend. Well, I'm gonna end this letter now. I hope you enjoyed your CD. Have a good day. And I hope when you're reading this in ten years, you're smiling. I love you J Bye freak!
Gabriella Montez.
By the end of the letter Gabriella had smiled, cried, and laughed. But now, she was nervous about giving the letter to Troy. She didn't know how it would happen, but she knew that when she did, it would be a scary thing. She had to give it to Troy.
Gabriella's cautious hands put a blank CD into her laptop to burn the songs that would be given to Troy. As she did so, she picked up her cell phone, she dialed the familiar of her best friend, Troy.
"Montez, what's going on?" Was how she was greeted by the boy. She smiled, pausing as she giggled slightly.
"Come over to my house, I have to give you something." She said with all the courage she could muster up in her tiny body. She could just sense the eye brow raise that Troy would give her time and time again, but he simply agreed to their meeting.
"Okay, I'll be over in like an hour, I have to tell you something too," His voice was raspy and perfect to Gabriella's ear.
"Okay, see you soon, Wildcat." Gabriella stated softly. As she hit the red end button on her touch screen cell phone. Just as she hit end, the CD that Gabriella had prepared to give her best friend had popped out of her laptop. This indicated that the CD was now officially burned and ready to be played.
"This is it," She said to herself as the long typed out document printed out of the DELL printer her father had purchased for her that previous Christmas. A sigh erupted from her mouth as she slipped the CD into a case.
I took the letter and changed it around alot, but that's basically the letter I gave to someone. Uh, can't believe I did it though. Oh well, read and review? I love you guys.
-Ang.