Disclaimer- After a rough week I found this little drabble that I wrote and thought it was a decent piece about something so real. Although I wrote this a while ago I still felt that a lot of people could relate. Also.. I do not own any characters, shows or anything else except this drabble that I wrote. Enjoy
The Break Up
The apartment was quiet. Every few moments the click of her heel would echo around the apartment when she would step closer into it. It seemed like a dream that took forever to be realized and yet here she was.
"Don't pretend like nothings wrong. I fucking hate that."
One day it all changed. What they both feared was soon so unbearable it exploded almost immediately. There were so many signs that blatantly told her that this was something that could never be. It should have never been. They both knew it and for some reason they tried to make sense of it. But it was so broken, unrepairable.
"We cannot. We will not work. You are doing this and acting like this and for each day that you do I am sitting here asking.. what's this worth to me?"
He loved himself more and she put everything into the relationship. Time and time again her concern was them and him but never for herself. But then their future with each other had changed. They no longer could see each other in it. One day it all changed.
"And my argument involves the future. Is this how every fight will be? When we have kids? When we have a house? I mentally, emotionally cannot give into this relationship anymore when you won't meet me halfway."
If there was a feeling to be selfish, she could do it without any remorse now. There was no need to be considerate in here. With the apartment only housing her, she could do what she pleased when she pleased. Down the hallway there was only one door that led to HER furniture, her own things.
"How much longer do we have to keep pretending it's going to work. Even if we make up we will be just back to the same shit like we have been. I'm tired of this endless cycle."
There was no more sharing with someone who laying down and feeling someone's body heat. There was no arm circling around her waist in the middle of the night anymore. There was no more worrying about the most trivial things now. Perhaps in hindsight she thinks they were trivial but at those moments, everything and anything involving them mattered.
"You're not what I want in my future because you won't grow up. We just don't match as a pair. I've realized this. You don't want the same things I do and vise versa."
Now she stood alone, unsure of what the future held and what emotions would barge into her heart.
"I'm sorry I was such a piece of shit to you. You didn't deserve it. You deserve better. I can't explain why I treated you like that. I'm sorry. I know that will never make it right."
Once upon a time she had a great future with a man she loved. They were going to have kids and raise them just how she dreamed and even one day grow old together. It was a future that her heart repeatedly had told her was meant to happen.
"You're saying I deserve better from you? Or from someone else?"
One day her mind started to change. The little dreamer within her woke up and saw a future that could have never been. It was slap in the face to awaken into this reality she couldn't believe she never saw. There was a day when she loved her dream and herself so much that if she couldn't have it with this man she loved so much, then she couldn't fake her disappointment anymore. The dream she had with him in it died right along with the relationship.
"I should have done better for you. You're better off without me. There's been too much for us."
And he agreed in every way.
"I'm so afraid without you by my side." She whispered to no one. Tears threatened to fall all day but her pride stopped her abruptly. It told her to keep on walking and don't dare turn back.' Don't even turn back for one last glance', it echoed in her head. As the tears built up once again she glanced around her new foreign apartment with her new foreign furniture. There was no one here but her. It would only be her for a good while. A tear fell and although her pride tried to protect her by yelling in her head not to do it, she couldn't help it.
"Please… Let me mourn. Just for a little bit."
I dedicate this to a special family member of mine who insisted on me writing about this couple. Originally I had no couple in mind but it seemed to fit.