Title: Of Water and Elves
Author: Estelrond aka. Erwen Silverwolf aka Legolaslinnathon aka Elvendreamerchild aka A Bunch of other things too... grin
Feedback: Please send the feedback. I have to feed the plot bunnies or they get
Rating: A firm G. And I don't write too many of those.
Summary: A humorous vignette.When the twins' pranks go too far, mayhem ensues!
Disclaimer: I do not own Tolkien, I will never own Tolkien. I only write about it...ok, happy?
For Viggo, my ranger
It was a glorious morning. Bright light streamed in the windows and into the room, as if beckoning its occupant to come outside and join it and the being seemed willing to comply. Leaping out of bed and kicking back the silken covers, hastily putting himself in order, he opened the door and... was instantly soaked.
More than just his clothes were dampened however as the pail that had been carefully placed above his doorway emptied it's contents on the unfortunate individual.
"ARAGORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That particular person, being down the hall, instead of answering the irate victim of the Rivendell gang's latest prank, sprinted in the opposite direction.
He rounded a few corners before running directly into a dark haired elf. He instantly rebounded into the wall and crashed to the floor.
"Did it work?"
The young man looked shakily up at the speaker, trying to blink past the blurriness.
"Yes it worked." Said the ranger in disgust. "He's really going to kill us this time."
"You exaggerate." Said Elladan, though even he had his doubts about their-now wet and extremely angry-friend's reaction.
At that moment Elrohir's head came into view behind Elladan.
"All clear!"
"Are you sure?" asked Aragorn skeptically, "I don't want to be anywhere near him for the next three hours at least!"
Elladan laughed, "Oh please, Estel, I 'm sure he's not that upset."
The ranger glared at his brother's, "Sure, that's easy for you to say. It wasn't your name he was shouting as if he wanted to wring your neck."
Finally rising from his position on the floor, Aragorn shook his head in disgust.
"This is all your fault you know."
Elladan's look of disbelief was a thing to behold.
"To look that innocent must have taken years of practice." Thought Aragorn.
"You know, I really hate to break this up, but...um...I think someone's coming. And from the sound of it, a very wet someone." Said Elrohir urgently.
"Think we should leave?" asked Elladan, "or stay and face the storm?"
"I'll sound the retreat!" shouted Aragorn as he pelted down the hallway, away from the twins.
"Hey! Where are you going?" yelled Elrohir.
"To safer reaches of Middle-Earth! I've never been to Rhûn before! I think I should go see what it's like."
Elrohir spotted a dripping elf stalking determinedly towards them and suddenly decided that Rhûn sounded quite nice to him and took off after his younger brother.
Elladan, realizing he'd been left alone, also came to see the wisdom of his brother's decision and decided a vacation wouldn't do him any harm either.
Elrond was sitting in his study, pondering the problems of late. Nothing serious. A few minor trade disputes with some nearby villages, a small skirmish with marauding orcs to the south, and an elf with a case of food poisoning. These he could deal with.
The Lord of Rivendell sat back and for a few fleeting moments, enjoyed the peace of the Last Homely House.
Seconds later the peace was shattered as two elves and a ranger dashed into his study, slamming the door behind them.
"Is he coming?" whispered Aragorn.
"Don't think so." Came the reply from Elladan, who was peering through the keyhole.
Elrond cleared his throat loudly, instantly all three turned and realized that they were not the only occupants of the room.
The elf-lord cocked an eyebrow suspiciously, "And exactly what is the meaning of this, my sons?"
Before any of the not-so-innocent looking threesome could answer, there came a rather loud knock on the door.
"Open this door right now! Or so help me, Strider, I'll break it down!"
Elrond continued to glare at the three miscreants, but moved to open that door which was being subjected to much more force than it had ever been intended for.
When the ranger and the twins saw his intent, they desperately motioned for their father to leave the door as it was, firmly shut, with Legolas on the other side. But Elrond ignored their entreating glances and unlocked the door, admitting an irate, dripping, golden-haired elf with blazing silver-blue eyes.
Elrond's eyebrows shot to an all-time high.
The newcomer to the room did not even seem to notice the Lord of Rivendell. Instead, he approached the other three with a baleful look on his fair features, directed in especial towards the human making a pitiful attempt to hide behind Elrohir.
"That's it, you good for nothing human! I'm going to make you pay for that!"
Aragorn gulped, "Ummm....it really wasn't my fault. This was all Elladan's idea!" the ranger pointed at his brother, an accusing look on his face.
Elladan's eyes widened as the angry elf turned to regard him, "Uh, Legolas, I can explain..."
"If I may have a moment?" came a quiet voice from behind the wet prince.
Elrond stepped between the wrathful Sindar and his all-too-guilty sons.
Frowning slightly, the elf-lord looked first at the victim, and then the perpetrators. He sighed deeply, this might take a while. Then, an enlightening idea dawned in his mind and he began to rant at his sons, all of whom were still attempting a façade of innocence.
"First, I wish to know why the peace of our valley has been so disturbed of late, and why you three seem to amuse yourselves by playing pranks on Legolas. And secondly, Legolas is perfectly justified in his anger. Knowing the three of you as I do you tend to push things a bit too far. Thirdly, Legolas, you may take retribution on them as long as I still have three sons when you're done. And I'd like to at least have them walking under their own power? They get into enough trouble on their own without having you injure them."
Legolas smiled wickedly at the brothers, then turned to Elrond, and, considering the fact that he was still dripping all over the carpet, gave the Lord of Rivendell the most dignified bow he could manage.
"Of course, my lord."
Elrond nodded solemnly and strode out of the room, oblivious to the protests and pleas of his sons.
As the door was firmly closed, the brothers immediately began to back away from the Mirkwood Prince.
Legolas smiled, crossing his arms in front of him. Now that he had them where he wanted them, he was in no rush to deal out punishment. Make them wait a while. All the more fun to be had.
"Soooo..." he began, drawing out the word, so as to make it as forbidding as possible, "What exactly should I do with you annoying, no-good, pieces of Orc bait?"
"Open the door and let us out?" queried Elrohir hopefully.
Legolas clicked his tongue reprovingly, "Nice try. Perhaps if the water hadn't been so cold this morning I might have considered your request."
Once again the prince's glare turned dark.
"Elrohir, be quiet." Whispered Elladan, "You're not helping!"
"So, anyone wish to explain to me why this little insurrection began?" asked Legolas.
All eyes went to the ranger, who had been attempting to hide behind the desk. Realizing that they were looking at him, Aragorn's head became immediately visible. Grinning guiltily, he shuffled out from under Elrond's desk and threw the elves a worried expression.
"Yes?" he questioned, his silver eyes were nearly as innocent as Elladan's had been earlier in the day.
"Just remember, Strider, if you do not answer questions honestly, I have full permission to torture you within an inch of you walking capabilities."
Aragorn could have sworn he heard Elladan snicker.
"First, who was the son of an orc who decided it would be amusing to drop a bucket of cold water on me this morning?"
Elladan stopped snickering.
Aragorn brightened, this might not turn out so badly after all.
"Elladan." He answered cheerfully.
Legolas' wrathful gaze turned to the elder twin, his eyes alone demanding an answer.
"Well, you see Legolas, it was like this..." suddenly, Elladan found he had lost the ability to speak as the angry elf advanced on him, his calm demeanor vanishing as swiftly as it had arrived.
Elladan decided that Rhûn seemed like a very, very pleasant place to be in right now.
With startlingly quick motion, the prince leapt at Elladan, sending both twins and prince, crashing to the floor.
Pinning Elladan beneath him, Legolas' threatening features suddenly brightened as a smile tugged at his lips. "As much as I want to kill you right now, Elladan. I find slow revenge to be much sweeter. Besides the fact that if I killed you I would probably not be long following. Therefore, "
The Sindar leaned closer, his expression positively diabolical, "You get a reprieve, for a while..." he whispered.
The elf prince stood swiftly, allowing the slightly dazed Noldo to clamber to his feet.
"Uh, what was that about you being dead if I was dead?"
"I'm saying your father would probably kill me."
Elladan shrugged, "maybe."
"No he wouldn't." said the up-until-this-point-ignored ranger confidently.
"Why do you say that?" asked Elrohir.
"Because Glorfindel would protect you, Legolas. He's been trying to convince father to get rid of Elladan for years." Said Aragorn, his face blank.
It was now Elrohir and Legolas' turn to snicker.
Elladan glared, "What's so amusing Elrohir! You're just as much trouble as I am."
"Of course." Replied the younger twin happily, "I'm just better at hiding it."
The look on Elladan's face showed clearly what he felt about that remark.
"Now, second question." Said Legolas, becoming somber once more.
Aragorn cringed, he'd thought the interrogation was over.
Legolas leaned forward onto the desk pounding his fist for emphasis, "Who rigged the bucket this morning!"
Both twins simultaneously pointed to Aragorn.
Giving his friend a nervous smile, Aragorn launched into his own defense, "It was entirely Elladan's fault. He said that if I didn't help them, they'd tell Elrond about what REALLY spooked his horse on that last hunting trip."
Legolas' expression turned from hostile to curious, "What did spook that horse anyway?"
"Aragorn threw a small rock at him." Supplied Elrohir helpfully.
"Only because Elladan dared me."
"I did not. I simply suggested it."
"Suggested it in a most persuasive way I might add." Put in Elrohir.
Legolas threw up his hands in a helpless gesture.
"What am I supposed to do with you three? I come in here and scare you out of your lives, you did deserve it mind you, I threaten you and throw you to the ground, and you end up by arguing whether Elladan is to blame for an accident that happened a month ago!"
He received three blank stares.
Sighing in disgust, the elf-prince strode out of the room, leaving two perplexed Elves and a puzzled, and slightly relieved, human in his wake.
"Well, I suppose it could have been worse." Elrohir cheerfully broke the silence. He was now returned to his normal self since the golden-haired hurricane had made his exit.
Elladan sat down in his father's chair, staring straight ahead of him.
"What's the matter with him?" asked Aragorn.
Elrohir tossed a quick glance at his twin, glanced at his nails and in an extremely bored tone, replied, "Oh he just can't believe that Legolas didn't actually attempt to murder him. Though that might have been amusing to watch..."
At this point, Elrond re-entered the room.
"All right, you scoundrels, out of my study. I have more important things to tend to than over-zealous pranksters."
Elladan looked up from his intense scrutiny of the far wall, "Oh, of course, Ada."
He leapt up from his seat and ran out the door as fast as possible. Elrohir did the same, pausing only long enough to give his father an impish grin. Aragorn ambled out the door, in no particular hurry, shutting the door carefully behind him.
Elrond sighed. Peace at last. Elrond sat down...
Only to leap right back up with a startled yelp.
"ELLADAN!!!!" The elf-lord's irate call could be heard throughout Imladris.
Luckily for Elladan, he had already left with his brothers for an impromptu hunting trip and was out of earshot.
Removing the thorn branch from his chair and tossing it disgustedly across the room, the Lord of Rivendell decided that punishment could wait; perhaps Legolas would help him out with that problem.
Two Elves and a human heard the faint echoes of the Elf-lord's call as they ventured into the woods surrounding Rivendell.
Elladan laughed heartily, "Well at least I know my efforts were not wasted."
Elrohir gave him a skeptic glance, "He's going to kill you one of these days."
"That is, if Legolas doesn't get there first." Supplied Aragorn helpfully.
Elladan glared, "Count on you two to spoil the moment." The elf's look was positively baleful.
"Ummm...let's go hunting shall we?" asked Aragorn meekly.
Reluctantly urging his mount on, Elladan led the others in search of game.
That night at dinner, the twins seemed to have forgotten the morning's occurrences.
They chattered on about the hunt, ignoring the glares from their father.
Aragorn remained quiet, figuring that it was safer to be as inconspicuous as possible. As it was, he was the only one who noticed Legolas' satisfied smile.
The ranger decided he'd better check his bed that night.
Throwing back the silken covers, Aragorn chuckled softly.
Just as he suspected, Legolas had kindly left a bouquet of nettles for him.
Just then, he heard a piercing scream and an accompanying shout from down the hall.
Seems the twins had found Legolas' present in an entirely different manner.
Aragorn threw the nettles out the window. Settling back into the, now the nettle-free, bed, the ranger gave a contented sigh.
"Rivendell is such a nice place."
Fine