Schnookums!
Why haven't thou graced me with thee lovely and exuberant presence? Mine heart grows cold and desolate without thine arms to warm mine. Thou are so enraptured by the tunes of thine fiddler's three and so blinded by thy obsessively cherry nature that thou have not lately thought about thy lovely wife's well being. I pine for thee and ponder how thou can be so gleeful without me; after all, thee used to praise thee heavens and beyond for the joy of soul that you relished when you were around me. Thine evil-smelling cat that spreads its foul reek upon the castle is tenderly handled- have thou forgotten me entirely? Those prized fiddlers three and their scantily clad bodies send mine mind reeling with scandalous images of thy reason for your abandonment of me. I fear I may have an affair with thine culinary chef if you do not soon return to me. Please, dear Coley, I am begging thee upon mine knees to come back and worship me with your merriness as you used to.
Pining for you,
Your dutiful wife,
Your stud muffin,
Forever yours,
To eternity and beyond,
BFF,
TTFN,
WBS,
Love,
Your Wilamera
Why haven't thou graced me with thee lovely and exuberant presence? Mine heart grows cold and desolate without thine arms to warm mine. Thou are so enraptured by the tunes of thine fiddler's three and so blinded by thy obsessively cherry nature that thou have not lately thought about thy lovely wife's well being. I pine for thee and ponder how thou can be so gleeful without me; after all, thee used to praise thee heavens and beyond for the joy of soul that you relished when you were around me. Thine evil-smelling cat that spreads its foul reek upon the castle is tenderly handled- have thou forgotten me entirely? Those prized fiddlers three and their scantily clad bodies send mine mind reeling with scandalous images of thy reason for your abandonment of me. I fear I may have an affair with thine culinary chef if you do not soon return to me. Please, dear Coley, I am begging thee upon mine knees to come back and worship me with your merriness as you used to.
Pining for you,
Your dutiful wife,
Your stud muffin,
Forever yours,
To eternity and beyond,
BFF,
TTFN,
WBS,
Love,
Your Wilamera