Title: The Naruko Deception

Author: AishiteSubete

Rating: T

Summary: Naruto uses his Sexy Jutsu to go clubbing as a girl! Though intended for humor, our favorite blond ninja gets himself into a little more trouble than he bargained for. -SasuNaruko-

A/N: When I'm writing about Naruto in girl form, I will use the name NARUKO with masculine pronouns. When I'm writing about Naruto in boy form, I will use the name NARUTO with masculine pronouns.

The Original Deception

Naruto didn't have the hobby of going clubbing posed as a girl; it wasn't something he ever did, or even thought about. He had gotten the idea from a TV show, for Christ's sake! But now that he discovered the concept, he thought it was actually a good idea. There would be no better way than to get a cheap laugh than to see the reaction on his bedmate's face when he discovered that Naruko wasn't really a girl at all.

Naruko walked into the club, rather pleased with himself when he saw a few men stop their dancing or drinking to check out the newcomer. The now-Jonin was happy that he made such an attractive female. He sauntered his way to the bar, ordering a small cup of warm sake. Taking a deep drink, he yawned quietly after sitting his cup back down on the polished wood. The low bassline of some of the most popular dance music provided an additional hum to the buzz he was already recieving from the drink. He wanted to dance, but had never went clubbing as a girl before; he wasn't sure how to find a partner.

The blonde shinobi didn't have to think hard about finding a dance partner, since one was pressing himself against his back. Naruko turned to see a rather attractive raven-haired boy behind him. His eyes were blacker than coal, and his smirk radiated arrogance. Perfect, Naruko thought to himself. There would be nothing more hilarious than to find someone so arrogant that he couldn't believe he fell for a jutsu; the man was a shinobi, judging by the hitai-ate tied into his belt loops. "Dance with me?" the raven answered, helping Naruko out of his chair as he finished his drink, setting the empty cup on the bar as he followed the boy to the dance floor.

Music was blaring at almost eardrum-rupturing decibles when the raven to Naruko to the dance floor off on the other side of the bar. The blonde shinobi hadn't noticed how loud they were playing "Like A G6" until he was actually standing right next to the speakers, grinding against a nameless boy. Naruko could see why girls enjoyed clubbing-there wasn't a lady in the bar who didn't have a dance partner, because there was always someone for everyone-even multiple someones. And, you know, sometimes it felt pretty nice being the grinder instead of the one being grinded on. The boy's hands were on Naruko's hips, guiding them in the direction he wanted them to go. Naruko hummed deep in his throat, feeling the boy he was with becoming aroused by their dancing. Now Naruko knew the satisfaction of turning on a random stranger. That was something he wasn't really sure if he had done before. The raven's face was buried in Naruko's hair, and he moved a hand from the blonde's hips to untie his long pigtails. Naruko giggled and leaned back into the raven's touch instinctively.

In some respects, most of the night went the same; Naruko drank a little more sake than he should have, and grinded on this black-haired stranger a little harder than necessary. Hours passed in the pattern of "drink a cup, dance for about five songs, drink another cup, dance for five more songs," and so on and so forth. It was nearing three in the morning when Naruko noticed something; he was feeling his body change-the jutsu was wearing off! He stopped moving mid-grind with the raven's lips on his neck, and turned and looked back.

"It's getting late," Naruko stammered, looking at his wristwatch. "I really need to be getting home; my roommate didn't go out tonight, and I promised that I would be back by one; she's going to be so pissed." Naruko didn't even have a roommate. He ran off, leaving the raven standing alone on the dance floor, watching as the blond goddess ran off.

And boy-did that raven-haired boy believe he was in love.

Naruko had made it back to the apartment before he changed back into the very male Naruto. With a sigh, he stripped out of his female clothes and changed into his pajamas, wondering if his imminent hangover would interfere with his training tomorrow. He cuddled up to his giant froggy pillow and fell alseep, replaying the events with the mysterious boy in his mind over and over again.

Naruto wasn't gay; but if he could, he would be for that boy-the one who could dance like a god.

The hangover didn't bother his training at all; with the help of Sakura, all of the alcohol's negative effects were purged from his system, but not without a smack across the face from the resident medical nin. "That shit kills your liver," she said brashly, glaring at Naruto with hard, green eyes. "You can't become Hokage if your liver starts malfunctioning." That was her latest trick; using the "you can't become Hokage" line against him. She realized it worked extremely well when telling him that once kept him from reading Jiraiya's Icha Icha Paradise novels.

Sasuke showed up to training ten minutes late. It was unusual for the teme to show up late at all, but as Naruto could tell by his not-so-good condition, he had spent some time partying last night, too, and was clearly hung over. "Not you, too," Sakura sighed, visibly annoyed. "C'mere, I'll get rid of the effects." Wordlessly, Sasuke walked to her and sat in a position to where she could do her medical thing. After a few moments of running her hands over the Uchiha's abdomen, chest, and head (which she thorougly enjoyed, no doubt), her work was done and his hangover was gone. "You know, Sasuke-kun," she began with a dark glint in her usually bright eyes, "if you're ever looking for some fun, my apartment doors are always open to you."

"Hn," was Sasuke's only response as he stood. "Sorry, Sakura-san; thank you for the offer, but I met a beautiful girl when I was out clubbing last night, and I think I've kind of fallen for her." Sakura blinked twice, while Naruto laughed in the distance.

"Sasuke-teme, finding a girl?" He laughed, clutching his stomach and doubling over. Apparently there was something funny about that which Sakura just didn't catch. "What did she look like?"

Sasuke let out a contented sigh as he remembered her. "Long, beautiful blond hair in pigtails. Blue eyes as bright as the ocean. Skin that wasn't too tan, but wasn't too pale, either. Nice curves. She had like, eyeliner on her cheeks that looked like whiskers-well, I think it was eyeliner." He noticed Naruto pale considerably. "What's wrong? Do you know her?" Naruto, for once, seemed speechless-and that bothered Sasuke. "Naruto-dobe?"

"I am NEVER going clubbing as a girl ever again," he said with wide, horrified eyes. "That jutsu will remain for distractions only."

Sasuke looked at Naruto with similarly wide eyes. "You need to teach me that jutsu."

FIN