Title Friends
Author Uozumi
Genre Angst/General
Rating PG
Disclaimer I do not own nor claim to own this. The characters, ect...contained
within are not my property. This is an act of fandom and I do not make a profit
from this endeavor. I also do not own the song contained within, it is property
of its respective owner(s).
Summary I can't call them friends. That will jinx everything.
Early-series Naruto POV on his new teammates.
I haven't called them my friends yet. The shock is still too much. I won't even think the word. Never. I'll jinx it if I do. I mean I want to be friends…No, friends is now a forbidden word. Which means, that I need to stop saying friends. Like right now, no moiré saying friends. Er…ah…
Enough of that. Kakashi-sensei isn't too bad, he's really weird though. He insults us and then congratulates us with the strangest face ever. He was really happy and proud after calling us brats and saying we're too lazy to do anything. What's up with that anyway! He also forgot to untie me from the pole. It took me a few hours, but I got loose. Well, after Kiba happened by and stared. He asked me what happened. I didn't really give him an answer, but grinned and said, "Thanks." That's all I really could do - grin and say thanks.
I mean, of course they'd forget me, I'm Naruto. I'd like to say that they forgot on purpose, but I doubt it. I just stop existing once they don't need me anymore. I tried to shout and scream and get their attention, but I don't think they were listening, or they stopped wanting to hear me. Although, Sasuke and Sakura gave me their food at lunch when I was tied to the pole. I still haven't figured that one out, but instead of saying that I took it with that goofy grin of mine. The more I grin, the more assured everyone is and the more attention I get and the less time I spend tied to poles.
Well, not that I've been tied to a pole again, but you know what I mean. I think. I don't know what I mean anymore. I think I might have been on the verge of something deep.
But like I said, I'm not going to call them fri…you know, that word. Not calling them that. I don't want to get my hopes up and have them shattered. Maybe someday I'll call them that, but I doubt it because I'll jinx it and only discover that again, only Iruka-sensei really likes me. He's the only person I'll call a friend, he's the only person who's ever been a friend.
Now I'm getting depressing. I can't get depressing! If anyone sees this look, they might start pitying me and I hate pity! Or they just glare - well, they still glare now and I think maybe it's worse when I grin, but you know what I mean. At least I think you do…hope you do…something like that. Or maybe you just don't give a damn, which is okay too. Hardly anyone does anyway.
I still don't get why Kiba untied me. It just doesn't make any sense yet. I think it might someday, I hope it might someday, but again I'm probably on the verge of jinxing it. He was probably showing off. Well, maybe not, showing off would probably be a game of kick Naruto or something. Well, not physically kick me but mentally…ah…deep moment. I can't do deep moments. It just…no. If I start being deep, everything I've built will fall. I can't think these things, I won't be able to keep grinning and if I stop grinning people will forget me or hurt me. It'll be just like before school, most of which I can't remember. I asked Iruka-sensei once why I can't remember much of anything before I met him. He doesn't say anything for the longest time when I ask him. I don't think he's ever really given me the truth either. I don't remember what he says, it isn't worth remembering.
So here I am with Sasuke and Sakura and she's mooning over him again. I of course have to let him know that she is so my girl no matter what. I've liked her for a really long time. You see, one time she stood up for me when we were little and I guess I'm stuck on her for it. Yeah, yeah, stupid I know, but name another girl who would do that. Ino? You've got to be kidding me. Hinata? No way. That's why I like Sakura, even if she turned around the next week and didn't do it again because she wanted to impress the other girls I think…I don't know because well, they're girls. I don't want to even try to figure that one out.
Besides, I'll get Sakura eventually, don't get me wrong. I'm not going to give up on her just because she's mooning over Sasuke and he just happened to end up in her group. I'm surprised she and Ino are still alive after the fight they got into over it. Although I heard it was just the shouting kind of fighting…I don't know, they used to be best friends. It got really confusing last year.
And everyone pays attention to Sasuke even Kakashi-sensei. I'm just overlooked. I need to be louder, my grin needs to light up the whole damn room and then I'll get noticed! I'll get more attention than Sasuke and I'll get Sakura! I will have everything! I just have to smile and not be depressing! Never! No more frowning! No more deep thoughts! None!
I wish. No, can't go there. I can't go there. Then I will get depressing and I'll fail. I can't fail at all. I just got a weird look. I wonder what that was for. I put on my best goofy grin and give Sakura a peace sign and tell her how pretty she is today. I just got smacked around again.
Oh there's Kakashi-sensei finally. He has no sense of timing. I'm wondering why I even come on time to these things. Well, I know. I try to impress Sakura and look better than Sasuke, that and well, I get out of my apartment and sit around with human beings even though they probably wouldn't have sat here with me for four hours if we weren't teammates.
But I can't call them…you know…because that will ruin everything. Someday I'm sure I'll be able to smile and laugh without thinking and trying super hard to do it and I will call them that word. I want to be that word forever. Although, I'm having doubts that will ever happen.
The End