A/N: If you have a problem with psycho people(as my name suggests), read a different story. I used most of the stuff from the epilogue and the Deathly Hallows, but I felt obligated to change some things to make the story more interesting.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor the weird little songs used in this Fanfic.
It's fourteen years after the Battle of Hogwarts, and everyone have their own life now. Harry and Ginny married, and they have three kids, James, Albus, and Lily. Harry works for the Ministry as an Auror. Ginny is Keeper for the famous all-girl Quidditch team, the Hollyhead Harpies. The Potters live in Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place.
Ron and Hermione have two kids, Rose and Hugo. Ron is an Auror, same as Harry. Hermione found a job at Hogwarts. She is the new Muggle Studies professor, since she is Muggleborn and obviously knows a lot on the subject. They live in a small cottage near the Burrow.
George and Luna have one daughter, Annabelle. George is currently unemployed, since Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is temporarily closed until Diagon Alley is restored to its original state. Luna also has no career just yet; she is also waiting for Diagon Alley to be fixed so she can help with the joke shop.
As for Neville, he became Hogwarts Head Master and has an adopted son, Fred, who is named after Fred Weasley. Molly and Arthur Weasley still inhabit the Burrow. Arthur still works for the Ministry, and Molly helps repair Diagon Alley. Dudley's story's different from the previous ones. For one thing, well, nobody knows what happened to him.
Fleur and Bill have seven children, six girls and one boy(basically the Weasley family all over again, but backwards). It would take too long to list out their names just yet. They still live in the small beach house they once used as a safe house.
George sat at his kitchen table at five in the morning. Worries danced around in his head. He could not find a temporary profession, no matter how hard he looked. His profits from his joke shop were running low. Very low. He barely had enough money to pay the bills, let alone his family. His trance was broken by a shatter and then a soft thud just outside his window.
He got up and slid the window open. He didn't see anything at first, but then he looked down. There was Errol, the ancient and idiotic Weasley family owl that should have died decades ago. George untied the letter that was tethered to Errol's leg. The gray owl flittered its wings and then hopped up, looking as if oblivious to hitting the window.
George stared at the parchment, his eyes widening. The letter was a day late. The messy scrawl, which he recognized as Ron's, said that George's sister and youngest brother were coming the following day. But the letter was a day late. That would make this the following day.
He was rereading the letter for the fourth time when the fireplace burst into green flames. He watched his little brother, his sister, and all of each of their children. They could have mentioned they were coming by Floo... The thought ran through his head as he plastered a fake smile to his face.
His youngest niece, Lily, was, "surprisingly", on a leash. She was bouncing up and down as her older cousin Rose struggled to keep her from getting away. The little redhead was yanking at the leash, kicking Rose every few weak tugs. After several failed attempts at freeing herself, she just stood there, jumping like an idiot.
"Lily Luna Potter what is the matter with you?" Ginny demanded, not expecting the answer she was about to get.
Without warning, Lily sang out,
"I'm a little acorn round, lying on the cold hard ground.
Everybody steps on me, that is why I'm cracked you see!"
"Little spaz..." Rose murmured.
"Who you callin' little spaz?" Lily demanded, thankfully not waking anyone else up.
"You! I told my mum not to give you any of that Muggle wakeup stuff!" Rose called back as Lily fell to the floor, asleep.
"That child...was annoying..." Ron said, putting his wand back in his pocket. Ginny then slapped her brother across the face.
Ron's yelp woke Annabelle and she refused to back to sleep, even though it was six in the morning. Two images changed her mind in a split second. One, her cousin passed out on the floor, tied to leash. Two, Errol unconscious on the dinner table, his feathers sprawled and his legs sticking out in different directions. But they had other intentions of coming, and it wasn't to scar, possibly traumatize, their niece.
They sent Rose, Hugo, James, and Albus into the sitting room(where Lily was passed out behind a chair still). They forced George to shut his mouth and listen whether he wanted to or not.
"Look George, we love helping you and everything, but-" Ron's sentence was cut off.
"Always with the 'buts'...those never end good..." George commented.
"...but if you don't find a stinking job in a week we'll all go bankrupt," Ginny said flatly(and a little rudely).
"That's a real nice way of putting it, Ginerva." George said.
He stayed silent. His gaze then moved to the sitting room, where all six kids(Annabelle had finally joined them and Lily woke back up) were playing. This image gave him an idea for the perfect-ish profession. A temporary one, anyway. Just until it rakes up enough money to live on until Diagon Alley re-opens. What could go wrong?
A/N: I know it stinks, but I just needed a little background info so the next chapter makes sense. The next chapter will be a whole lot funnier. And in case you didn't figure out the kids' ages, here's a list.
Lily, Hugo, Annabelle-four years old
Rose, Albus- six years old
James-seven years old