Here is the story I orignally wanted to upload last week but couldn't because of another story I got caught up on writing.
But I have finished it and here it is!
A few notes on this story:
- It is angsty. Why? Please read the summary above.
- Though I've read about this disease and there was a lot of awareness about this, I am still not in the expertise of it. Therefore, there may be a lot of mistakes regarding it. I apologize in advance if there are any and I hope that you'll still like the story.
- I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender. If I did, I would have made Katara be with Zuko in an instant (Still love Aang though)
And so, without further ado, here is the story and I hope you'll love it :)
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS): often referred to as "Lou Gehrig's Disease," is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. In other words, as motor neurons degenerate, they can no longer send impulses to the muscle fibers that normally result in muscle movement. When muscles no longer receive the messages from the motor neurons that they require to function, the muscles begin to atrophy. There is not yet a definite cure.
It started with a twitch. A small twitch that couldn't have been interpreted as harmful in any way. They had trained hard, so a muscle twitch was natural, welcoming even. So when Toph, the greatest earthbender alive, felt that small but seemingly insignificant muscle twitch, she merely shrugged it off and proceeded to lift another boulder as her workout. But as she was moving it, her eyes widened as she felt a massive cramp on her shoulders, and unwillingly, her arms felt to her sides as the boulder was mere inches away from crushing Sokka, the nonbending water tribe member. He jumped at the near death attempt and proceeded to glare at the small girl, momentarily forgetting that she was blind.
"Oi, Toph! Look where you're dropping that thing!" Sokka yelled, and though Toph was still trying to process what was happening to her, she couldn't just leave Sokka hanging.
"I would if I could see, Sokka!" She retorted, waving her hand in front of her face while clearing showing Sokka her milky grey eyes. She heard him hesitate with his next few words bitten back, and she laughed heartily, putting her hands on her stomach. But even then, she felt as if her arms wouldn't cooperate with her.
Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
Not that she would say anything about it. She was strong. It was surely nothing.
She didn't know how wrong she was.
A few days after the incident, Toph woke up and tried flailing her arms like a madman, just as she had done for the other past days. She then sighed in relief as her muscles seemed to work normally. She stretched and then checked once more to see if her arms were fine and to her relief, they were. She put her feet on the ground and got ready to stand up when her foot connected with a small pebble and she felt herself falling to the ground.
"Wha –" Toph began to say as she fell to the floor. A loud bang sounded and she felt people running towards her room.
"Toph, are you ok?" Katara, a waterbending master and sister to Sokka, asked worriedly as she tried to help Toph up. She declined vehemently while shaking Katara's hand away from her. And at that moment, she felt another muscle twitch and her arm, which she was using to deflect Katara's helping hand, droped to her side, just like last time.
"I'm fine. Leave me alone!" Toph yelled as she tried lifting her arms once more to push Katara away. She was sure that they were thinking of her as weak.
"What's going on? Did Appa finally eat Momo?" Sokka's tired voice came from the door and gave a big yawn.
"Nothing's going on. Just go and leave me alone. I'll be out in a second." Toph said and mentally pleaded them to leave. For a moment, there was a thick silence that felt impenetrable but then, Aang spoke up.
"Are you sure, Toph? You're not one to suddenly trip." He said and she shrugged, which for some reason, was as difficult as lifting her arms.
"I'm blind, twinkle toes. Even blind people trip." She responded and though she couldn't see, she knew that Aang, as well as the others, were blushing in embarrassment.
"Ok then, Toph. We'll meet you outside. Sokka, it's your turn to cook. And don't you dare eat all the meat again!" Katara scolded as Sokka started to vehemently protest that he did not, in fact, eat all the meat and that it was all Momo's doing. Their voices started to fade and Toph waited until she couldn't feel the vibrations of their feet to sigh and let some of her tears fall to the ground.
What was happening to her?
"So, Master Toph, how about we have an earthbending battle?" Aang suggested once they were done with eating breakfast. Toph smirked and pointed her chopsticks to where Aang was at.
"What are you sounding confident for, twinkle toes? Who's the master here? You're a thousand years too early to be beating me!" She answered confidently and she felt Aang jumping up and down in excitement.
"Yes! Let's start right away!"
"Hold it! You are not leaving until you finish cleaning the dishes. It's your turn." Katara intercepted and both Aang and Toph groaned.
"Can't you do the dishes for us this time, Katara? I promise to do them next time." Aang begged.
"Sure, just like the last two weeks when you said the exact same thing." Katara snorted. "Dishes. Now." She then ordered and Aang mumbled how this felt more like a mother-son relationship than a lover-lover one.
"Better hurry it up, twinkle toes, or I'm going to find something more fun than you!" Toph commented and Aang ran to clean the dirty plates.
"Hey, Toph, do you have a minute?" Katara asked as she walked closer to Toph. She stiffened but nodded and they started to walk away from their friends. When they were alone, Katara turned to Toph and gently placed her hand on Toph's shoulder. She stiffened once more.
"Toph, are you ok?" She asked and Toph just nodded.
"I'm fine." Toph answered simply, yet she couldn't help but turn her head the other way in hopes that Katara wouldn't see her eyes.
"Toph, this morning was unnatural. It looked like you couldn't even lift your arms."
"I'm fine! When did you become my mom?" Toph exploded and started walking away from Katara, angry more at herself than anyone else. And then she tripped once more, leaving her planted on the ground.
"Toph!" Katara shouted and ran over to her.
"I'm fine!" Toph yelled, trying to get the waterbender away from her. She didn't want Katara to see her like this.
"You're not! This is exactly what happened in the morning, Toph! I need to know what's wrong so I can help you!"
"I'm fine, Katara! Why can't you just leave me alone? I'm a human being, too! I can trip, just like other people! Stop thinking that's something's happening to me because nothing is!" She shouted as she tried to get back on her feet.
"Toph? Katara? What's going on?" Toph heard Aang asking as she felt footsteps grow closer. "Toph, why are you on the ground?"
"She –" Katara tried to explain but Toph cut her off.
"I tripped. That's all." She said and with the strength she could muster, she stood up. "Come on, twinkle toes. You're done with the dishes, right? Let's go." She said as she grabbed Aang's wrist and started to drag him away from Katara.
"Hey, Katara, what's wrong?" Sokka asked with a mouth full of jerky as he looked at his sister's concerned face.
"Sokka, there's something wrong with Toph. I can feel it."
"She fell a few times. So what? I do that all the time." He shrugged.
"No, you don't understand. She's having trouble lifting her arms up as well. And she never had that kind of problem."
"Could be because she hadn't stretched."
"And it's not only that, Sokka. I can't confirm it but I could feel something wrong. Her muscles are growing weaker. It's like they're wasting away." At that, Sokka finally looked at Katara with seriousness.
"What do you mean?" He asked, his tone different from usual.
"I don't know. I could confirm this easier if she would just allow me to help her, but she won't let me do that. There can't be something wrong with her, right?" Katara asked as her eyes grew panicked.
"Katara, it's going to be fine. This is Toph we're talking about." Just as Sokka finished his sentence did they hear a loud crash. They looked at each other once before running as fast as they could to the origin of the sound. When they finally embarked on the scene, their eyes grew wide.
"Aang, are you ok?" Katara rushed to Aang, whose leg was currently crushed under a boulder.
"Yeah, I'm fine but my leg kind of feels numb." Aang said while rubbing the back of his neck and smiling at the waterbender.
"Toph, what is wrong with you? Why would you crush Aang like that?" Sokka reprimanded at the blind girl without a second thought. Said girl was not listening to Sokka but was currently in a state of shock.
"Sokka, stop!" Katara then said as she realized that Sokka was in the midst of a rant. He stopped briefly to give his sister an annoyed look when he realized that she was pointing somewhere. Sokka reluctantly looked to where she was pointing at and the next angry remarks died in his throat as he saw Toph's hands shaking violently.
"Ah, Toph, I'm sor –" Sokka tried to apologize but Toph paid no heed as she started to run away as fast as she could, away from the catastrophic scene.
"Toph!" Katara and Aang yelled together and Katara was about to follow her when Sokka stopped her.
"Let's get Aang out of here first. We can follow Toph later." Sokka said and Katara nodded solemnly.
"It's ok. I can just move the boulder. You guys go first. I'll be right behind you." Aang spoke.
"But your leg's going to be pretty messed up. You're going to need some support." Katara explained and Aang shook his head.
"It's fine. Just go. I don't know what's going on with Toph but I know it's bad. Katara, you could feel it too, couldn't you? Toph's muscles." Aang looked at her and she nodded, both with worried faces. "Go. I'll be right behind you, ok?" And with that, Katara grabbed Sokka's hand and they started to run after the master earthbender.
During the same time, Toph was constantly tripping while running away from the group. She didn't know what was going on. She was lost, so lost.
Her muscles were twitching all over the place and she could fell her legs grow weaker with every step. Even the smallest pebble could make her trip, and sometimes, it was just thin air that did the trick.
She had no idea what was happening to her. She could feel her breath shorten with every step and that scared her immensely. Her knees finally gave out on her and she fell to the ground painfully. She huffed to get some air into her system but even moving her mouth seemed strenuous.
Why was her body reacting like this? Why wasn't it working properly? What did she do wrong?
"Toph? Are you there?" A female voice rang out and she stiffened.
"Katara, check the left side. Aang, keep going forward. I'll go right. Yell if any of you guys find her." Sokka's voice ordered and it was followed with a yes from both Aang and Katara.
Toph tried to stand up once more to avoid the people looking for her but her legs wouldn't respond to her demands. She had no choice but stay put until one of her friends found her. And one did.
"Toph, you're alright!" Aang exclaimed as he maneuvered his way with his air ball to Toph. She, instead of answering him, just buried her head in her legs.
"Toph?" Aang asked uncertainly as he placed his uninjured foot on the ground.
"Go away twinkle toes. I'm not in the mood." Toph said, her words muffled.
"Toph, we can help you, you know that, right? We're your friends. We can help you." Aang started to say but she buried her head even further.
"I don't want to talk about it." She responded.
"Toph –"
"Aang, did you find her? Is she ok?" Katara interrupted as she and Sokka ran to her.
"She's…" Aang trailed off and as he looked at Toph, he sighed and shook his head.
"I don't know if she's ok or not. Toph, we have to check. Please let Katara heal you. Please." Aang begged but Toph shook her head.
"I don't need any healing." She gritted as she finally lifted her head. "I'm fine."
"You're obviously not, Toph. Please let me check. We're all worried about you." Katara urged but Toph glared at the waterbender.
"I'm fine." She emphasized and tried to stand up to show that everyone was alright. But her legs just wouldn't cooperate. She ended up falling down to the ground once more.
"Toph, please. We just want to confirm that you are, in fact, ok. Everyone is worried sick." Sokka tried to convince but Toph wouldn't budge. Just as an earthbender should, she was as stubborn as a bull.
"Are you guys deaf of something? I said I'm fine. How many times do I have to say it to get you guys to understand? I. Am. Fine." She enunciated each word and the group all gave each other worried glances.
"Toph?" Sokka started to ask slowly. Toph turned her head and gave him a glare.
"What now?"
"Your words… They just slurred." He provided and at that moment, Toph realized that her mouth did feel a lot heavier than normal. Her mouth didn't seem to cooperate with her.
"Toph, please let me check on you. These things, they're not normal at all." Katara said with worry entangling her every word. And though Toph was scared out of her mind and would like nothing more than to have Katara hold her gently and tell that it would all be ok, she still held her ground, as an earthbender should have.
"Why can't you guys…" She started to retort once more but the sentence was left untold as her mouth drooped, very much like her arms, leaving her unable to finish.
"Toph, that's it. I'm taking you back and checking on you." Katara finalized. "Sokka, carry her. Aang, you're coming, too. I need to heal your leg."
"My leg is not the first priority to deal with." Aang huffed but nevertheless, he leaned against Katara to keep his injured leg off the ground.
"I – I'm… F –Fine." Toph tried to say as confidently as she could but she felt Sokka shake his head.
"Not with that kind of slur, you're not. Toph, we're worried sick. Let Katara do this." His reasoning, though having no support of evidence, seemed so tempting and Toph was close to agreeing, but she knew that if she did agree, it would have been the same as admitting she was weak.
She was not one to give up so easily.
"Sokka, let me go." Toph said with much concentration, trying to get her mouth to cooperate with her. "Sokka, I'm not kidding. Let me go."
"Nope, I ain't letting you go. Not like this." He answered and Toph huffed.
"You asked for it." She mumbled and before Sokka knew it, he was hit on the head with a rock. He was stunned for a moment and a moment was all that Toph needed. She jumped out of Sokka's arms and stood up, concentrating hard to keep her legs upright.
"Toph!" Aang and Katara yelled as they trailed behind, moving slower because Katara had to support Aang's weight, and that was Toph's cue to leave. She plunged herself into the ground and came back up with makeshift lumps of dirt to make her go faster.
"Wait!" The group yelled but Toph paid them no heed. She just wanted to be alone, she wanted to figure this out for herself.
And it failed as quickly as it came. Her legs gave out on her once more and this time, she felt head smash to the ground, leaving her unconscious.
When she awoke, she felt her body in a soft bed, one that must have been made by sheep's fur or Appa's. It was blissful, laying on such a comfortable bed and she wished the dream would never end.
Except it did.
With whispers surrounding her ears.
"Katara, how is she?" Aang asked. Katara stayed silent.
"Katara…?" Sokka hesitantly asked and Katara sighed.
"I don't know. There was nothing to heal. Physically, her body is in perfect health. But I know something's wrong. There's something that's blocking her muscles from acting properly. I've never experienced this before in my life." She explained. There was silence before Aang broke it.
"What should we do then?" He asked concern lacing his words.
"This is out of my expertise. I think we need to go get professional help." Katara answered.
"Wait, you mean –" Sokka started to ask and was cut off by Katara.
"Yeah, I think we need to go to the Northern Water Tribe."
"Master Pakku?" Aang supplied.
"You think we really need to go there? I mean, it's too far and Zuko and Sukki aren't even here with us yet." Sokka reasoned.
"Sokka, if we don't do something now, who knows what will happen to Toph? Aren't you worried for her?" Katara retorted angrily.
"Of course I am! I'm just saying, maybe it's not as bad as you think it is. Maybe it's just an age thing. Maybe it's going to go away. We can't make such hasty decisions!" Sokka yelled and soon enough, it was an all-out war with the two siblings.
"We have to go Sokka! You don't know what I felt when I was checking. It was something I've never felt before and it's bad, ok? We need to go."
"You're thinking to quickly about this, Katara! We're in a remote island, for crying out loud! The North Pole is thousands of miles away and what if Toph gets better while going there? We'd just be tiring Appa out!"
"Are you saying that you'd just risk Toph's health because you 'think' it's going to go away?" Katara roared.
"Guys…" Aang tried to interrupt but the fire between the two was too great.
"Stop twisting my words around! This is always like you, Katara! Not listening to reasonable arguments and just going about it on your own!"
"I'm not twisting anything around! What I stated is true! You just don't want to help Toph, do you? That's it, isn't it? You're always annoyed by her sarcastic remarks that you just can't take it anymore. That's why, isn't it?"
"Katara…" Sokka replied hurtfully, just like the time she had accused him of not loving their mother.
"We are going to the North Pole and that's final." Katara finished and started walking away. The conversation ended like that and Toph couldn't help but make a strangled noise. All three of the members immediately ran towards her, asking her all kinds of questions, but she didn't answer any of them.
She was just so frustrated. With everything.
She didn't know what was going on.
But it scared her.
And that's what frustrated her the most.
Early Stage
- Muscles may be weak and soft or stiff, tight and spastic.
- Muscle cramping and twitching (fasciculations) occurs, as does loss of muscle bulk (atrophy).
- Symptoms may be limited to a single body region or mild symptoms may affect more than one region.
- The person may experience fatigue, poor balance, slurred words, a weak grip, tripping when walking or other minor symptoms.
A few days after the decision to go to the North Pole, the group got a letter back from Zuko and Sukki after sending them each a letter explaining the situation with Toph. Sukki lamented that she couldn't join them to go to the North Pole as the Kiyoshi warriors still had to help those who had been affected by the war caused by the fallen firelord, Ozai. Zuko, on the other hand, wrote back that he would meet them in front of the North Pole, telling them that his duties as the new firelord could wait until later.
During the few days, everyone noticed the changes that were occurring with Toph. Her movements got sloppier and she was struggling more and more to just walk. Her mouth didn't seem to cooperate with her as she kept slurring most of her words.
The main change, however, was her physique. She was losing weight. Fast.
"Is everything packed and ready?" Aang asked and Katara nodded.
"Hey Toph, I'm going to lift you up now, ok?" Sokka asked cautiously and Toph wanted nothing more but to reject his offer.
"N-no. I… I can d-do it on m-my own." Toph tried to say clearly as possible but she knew she wasn't fooling anyone. Sokka sighed and picked Toph up gently. His eyes widened as he compared her to a feather on his shoulders.
Katara was right. He thought bitterly. This is bad.
He secured Toph on Appa's back and both Aang and Katara mounted him as well.
"Is everyone ready?" Aang shouted from the front and Katara shouted a yes. "Yip Yip!" Aang then proceeded to say and Appa took off with a strong leap.
Sokka made sure to keep Toph from falling as she could no longer grip the handle. Toph, during the same time, used all her mental strength to keep herself from crying. Katara and Aang could only spare her worried glances.
The trip to the North Pole was roughly a week, and during that week, the group could only stare at Toph with horror and complete panic.
She kept losing weight as it became difficult for her to open her mouth. The weakness in her mouth area made it hard for her to swallow, sometimes leading her to choke. Katara made the food consuming easier by mashing the food into a liquid state and making Toph drink it, but even then, she couldn't swallow properly.
Sometimes, they would catch her crying one moment and laughing the next. Both sounded painful and strenuous. They tried to make a move and help her calm down but she would curl into a ball. They had to help her straighten up after a few hours.
She had more difficulty than before to do ordinary movements such as lifting her arm up and walking. When her mouth did cooperate with her, it was when she yelped in pain as she desperately tried to grasp her arm, which, in her perspective, seemed to contract painfully.
And once, while they were resting for a few hours, she tried to stand up to go to the bathroom. Instead, she fell down and couldn't stand back up, no matter how hard she tried. And, ever since she first felt the changes within her, she showed emotion on her face, tears falling to the ground uncontrollably. Whether it was from frustration or fear, no one knew, but it was all a matter of time before she completely stopped moving.
And that scared everyone to death.
Middle Stage
- Unused muscles may cause contractures, in which the joints become rigid, painful and sometimes deformed.
- If a fall occurs, the person may not be able to stand back up alone.
- Weakness in swallowing muscles may cause choking, and greater difficulty eating and managing saliva.
- Weakness in breathing muscles can cause respiratory insufficiency, especially when lying down.
- Some people experience bouts of uncontrolled and inappropriate laughing or crying. Despite how it seems, the person usually doesn't feel particularly sad or happy.
As Appa entered the ice gates of the North Pole, Aang caught sight of a person standing on top of it, waving at them in a formal matter. He waved back, though not as enthusiastically as he would have done. Katara and Sokka noticed the figure as well and waved.
Once Appa landed on the ground, waterbenders were there to greet them immediately, asking why they were here, though not in an impolite way. They were bombarded with such questions until a voice asked them if he could pass through. The growing crowd made a path for him and he walked confidently, as a firelord should.
"Uh, hi." He started awkwardly once he was face to face with the group.
"Long time no see, firelord Zuko." Sokka said with a smile on his face. Zuko started to smile back when he saw a dark figure still on Appa's back.
"Is Toph –" He started to ask when Sokka's eyes widened and hastily went back up.
"Does anyone have a warm blanket? I need a lot here!" He shouted and the people scattered to find pieces of cloth. Katara and Aang looked at each other once before running too. Zuko followed their lead immediately and once he was up, he found himself looking at someone who looked so much like Toph but not her at all.
He hesitated whether to ask if she was ok when Sokka called him up.
"Zuko, make some fire, will you?" He ordered and Zuko nodded, huddling with the rest. As he made a fire in his hands to make a fire warm to the touch, he couldn't help but notice the drastic changes Toph had gone through.
She was as pale as the snow itself, and she shivered profoundly with a body that could not be considered healthy. She was as skinny as a stick at this point, with hollows in her cheeks and bones revealing itself under the skin.
What was happening to their youngest member?
The people who were searching for blankets came back with many and Aang went down to fetch them all. He soon came back up with folds over folds and hastily wrapped them around Toph, who was still shivering like mad.
The people started talking all at once, wondering just why they needed so many blankets when they were silenced with one powerful voice.
"I would appreciate if you would all kindly leave and allow me to speak with my friends." The voice commanded politely and the crowds all bowed before leaving the scene as they were told to do. Once there was peace and quiet, he walked up to Appa and patted his side.
"Now, to what do I owe this pleasure of?" Pakku, waterbending mentor to Katara and Aang, asked with his old man smile and even though everyone was worried sick, they couldn't help but smile back. However, the mood changed quickly as those on top of Appa felt the violent shivering of the small girl.
"Master Pakku, we need your help." Katara said and Pakku lost his smile as he heard Katara's grave tone.
"What's the matter?" He asked solemnly as he started climbing. Once he reached the top, he moved towards the group and saw with wide eyes a small girl, who couldn't have been more than 12, shivering terribly even with the fire from Zuko's hands and the layers of blankets wrapped around her. He could immediately feel something wrong with her.
"Katara, what happened?" He asked.
"I don't know. It just suddenly happened. I checked up on her when it was just starting to happen. There was nothing wrong with her physically but there was something inside. It was as if something was blocking her muscles from receiving any signal at all. It's gotten worse every day. We didn't know what to do so we came to you. We need your help, Master Pakku. Please, help our friend." Katara pleaded with some tears flowing down her face.
"I'll bring the best doctors to do the job. But first, we need to move her to a warmer place. She must be freezing cold. Did she not eat anything?" He asked as Sokka carried Toph in his arms while Zuko kept the fire going.
"She tried but her mouth wouldn't move. She ended up choking the food most of the time. We couldn't do anything about it." Aang responded, reliving the horrible moments when that happened.
Pakku listened and while he said nothing to interrupt them, no one could deny his face getting more and more solemn.
They arrived to the master healer's igloo and a bed was immediately set up for Toph. Sokka laid her down carefully and adjusted the blankets to make her more comfortable. The master healer heard a brief summary from Aang and ran towards the earthbender with a somber face, not liking at all what she had just heard.
"Everyone out. I can't concentrate with you people here. I'll call you back in when I'm finished." She ordered and everyone took one last glance at Toph, who looked so afraid and so fragile, before leaving the place.
All they could do now was pray.
Toph's world and everyone else's crashed down as they all heard the healer's concluding words.
"This is a disease that even I cannot cure. It was so rare I believed it to be exterminated but seeing as this little girl has it means that it is still here. Her chances of survival are none. I am terribly sorry."
All at once, everyone rushed up to her and begged that she do all she can to help Toph, but the healer could only shake her head, saying it was impossible; the disease was incurable and that was final.
"The only thing for everyone to do now is to give her as much support as you can. She's blind too, isn't she?" The healer asked and they all nodded. "It must be very frightening for her. Having this disease at such a young age and blind at that. I know it would be absolutely terrifying for me, having to see only darkness while going through this process. Give her all the love you can. She'll need it." The healer added, a morose face replacing her usual stoic one.
"H-how long does she have?" Sokka hesitated to ask and the healer gave them a long look before sighing.
"Normally, it would take a few months to finally have the disease settle in, but that is in the case of adults. She is but a 12 year old girl. The disease can settle in much faster with a small body like hers. She does not have much time." Everyone choked at the blunt words.
"It can't be..."
"She can't just do that."
"She can live through this. She's Toph!" The healer could only give them a sad look.
"Should we keep her here then, in case you find something to help her?" Katara whispered and the healer shook her head.
"There is nothing I can do. As I cannot provide you with the healing you desire, it would be meaningless for her to stay. The cold will only worsen her state. She is an earthbender, is she not?"
"Yes." Zuko answered. "The best there is."
"I suggest you take her back home. Her parents must be worried sick." The healer provided and they were about to respond to her statement when they all heard a weak voice from the other side.
"N-no… No p-par-rents." Toph struggled to say. Katara couldn't hold it anymore and left the place to cry where no one could see her. Aang and Sokka were close to following her.
"We'll go back to where the others were usually staying at. There's a remote place that is very peaceful. Thank you for everything you have done." Zuko bowed and the healer bowed as well. Sokka moved to where Toph was and lifted her up bridal style, his face already marred with his tears.
"Take care of her. Remember, support her in every way you can. She cannot see what is happening to her own body. There is nothing more terrifying than having your body reject you and not even being able to see it happen."
A small twitch. I just need one small twitch. In an arm, leg, finger, my mouth for crying out loud. I'll take any part of my body. Just let it move. Once. It's all I ask.
.
.
.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not a single part is doing what I want it to do.
This sucks. I can't even see what's happening to me. What's the point in hearing and feeling them if you can't even see what's going on? What's happening to me? Is my body smaller than before? Is it skinnier? I wouldn't be surprised if it was. I can't even eat anymore.
I feel weak.
There. I said it. I feel weak. I feel useless. I feel like nothing is going right.
And it probably isn't.
How's everyone else dealing with this? I keep hearing gasps of breaths from everyone surrounding. I can't even stand up anymore to 'see' them. This really sucks.
Are we still in the North Pole? We can't be. The weather feels warmer now. I wonder why I can feel specks of water touching my skin. It can't be the snow. It's not cold enough. It can't be the rain either. It's not hitting me unless the others made a tent on Appa's back.
Come on. A small twitch. A twitch is all I ask. Let me at least move my pinky toe.
.
.
.
What about my mouth then? It's been a while since I've retorted one of Sokka's stupid comments. Let me at least say his name. Say 'Sokka'! Let me say 'Sokka'!
.
.
.
Ah, I'm crying, aren't I? I feel tears in my eyes. I think they're touching my cheeks, too. I hope they're not looking. They already think I'm not capable of taking care of myself.
But even I admit that I can't do anything anymore. How can I when I can't even move a pinky? Move!
.
.
.
MOVE! WHY WON'T YOU MOVE? MOVE, YOU STUPID LITTLE THING OF A BODY! MOVE!
.
.
.
Just… Just let me have my body back. I want my body to be back the way it was. I miss moving. I miss being able to move.
I miss moving along with my friends.
Why did this happen to me? Me, especially? Was there something I did wrong? Is this punishment for going against my parents' orders? For not helping my friends because I was too lazy? For being sarcastic and mean? For being me?
So, they found out I'm crying. Who's touching my cheek? Did I say something to alarm them?
Ah. They heard me make a strangling noise. They probably think I'm choking on my own spit again.
Choking on my own spit. How much stupider can this get?
I feel really drowsy. I'm so tired. Tired almost all the time. I just want to sleep until this all goes away. I want to just wake up one day and see that I'm perfectly fine…
But that won't ever happen, will it?
I'll never be fine.
I'm so tired. So, so tired.
Why are they yelling at me to open my eyes? Can't I have a moment's rest? It's not like I'm going to die or…
Ah. So they've all accepted the healer's words.
I don't have that much time left, do I?
I'm closing my eyes, guys. I don't care what you guys say. I'm tired. Really tired. I want to sleep. I'm closing my eyes and that's final.
Am I going to die?
I don't want to. I really don't want to.
I wanted to do so much more. I wanted to visit Kiyoshi Island and ride the Unagi with Aang and learn about Avatar Kiyoshi with Sukki. I wanted to go to Ember Island and see another theater production, especially if Aang's character was that bald woman again. I wanted to go back to the remote island at the edge of the fire nation's territory and take one more hot bath with Katara. I wanted to make so many more sarcastic remarks to Sokka every time he would say something stupid. I wanted to go on a real spiritual quest with Zuko without having something in our way.
I wanted to experience so much more with all my friends.
It's not going to happen though, is it?
I'm going to die.
.
.
.
I'm going to die.
Everyone gathered around the bed that had a small, almost skeleton-like girl on top of it. Her breathing got shallower and a lot more rigid, her chest rising inconsistently. Most of the time, the companions close to her almost had a heart attack when her chest didn't rise back up fast enough. The girl's eyes were still closed, which was frightening as she was in this state for a week now.
"Toph, wake up. It's time to eat." Katara said with tears rolled down her cheeks for the umpteenth time.
"Toph, come on. Open your eyes. You need to eat something." Sokka tried but there was no response. Aang and Zuko said nothing, only witnessing the scene with sorrowful faces, they, too, having tears shamelessly running down.
"Toph, please, please wake up! Please!" Katara suddenly begged as she took the girl's fragile hand, which did not have any ounce of fat, and gripped it so hard, there were crackles filling the background.
"Katara, stop! You're hurting her!" Sokka desperately yelled, prying his sister's hands away from the little girl's.
"Sokka, I can't do this anymore. I can't!" Katara cried and left the bed with hands covering her breaking face. Zuko and Sokka looked at each other once before following Katara.
Aang was the only one left.
"Toph? Please wake up. We need you to wake up." Aang said as he struggled to control his tears. "Please. Everyone wants you to. Just please wake up." There was no response and Aang had to hit his side very hard to keep himself from breaking down.
He cautiously took his hand and caressed hers. His head lowered and he knew he didn't have any self-control anymore. All he could do was cry.
And then,
"A-Aang." Aang jumped when he heard his name being called out. He looked up and saw Toph, who was struggling to open her eyes.
"Toph? Are you awake?" He asked desperately and examined her face for any other movement.
"Tired… So… Tired." Toph whispered, having a hard time opening her mouth.
"You've had enough sleep. You've been sleeping for a week now, you know?" Aang said, a sad smile carving his face, tears marring it even more.
"I… Die…"
"No, you won't. You can get through this, Toph! Don't say you're going to die! We're not letting you!" Aang rejected vehemently. Slowly, Toph moved her head sideways so that Aang could see her face directly. The others returned as they had heard Aang's protest.
They all gathered around the greatest earthbender of all time.
And she slowly curled her lips to a small, almost subtle smile.
"I – I'll... m-miss you." She uttered before her eyelids slowly closed shut and no more movement could be detected. Not even the slightest chest rise.
That night, only sobs penetrated through the cold, lonely night.
Late Stage and Conclusion
- Most voluntary muscles are paralyzed.
- The muscles that help move air in and out of the lungs are severely compromised.
- Mobility is extremely limited, and help is needed in caring for most personal needs.
- Poor respiration may cause fatigue, fuzzy thinking, headaches and susceptibility to pneumonia. (Respiratory insufficiency is a leading cause of death in ALS.)
- Speech, or eating and drinking by mouth, may not be possible.
- The vast majority of deaths in ALS are the result of respiratory failure, a process that progresses slowly over months.
- A common phrase heard from family members is, "It was very peaceful at the end." Their loved ones with ALS simply "went to sleep and just slipped away."
It was a painless death, they reassured themselves. It was peaceful at the end. She went to sleep and just slipped away.
But that didn't stop them from accepting what happened to their most beloved friend.
She would forever be known as the greatest earthbender of all time.
She was always strong, till the very end.
And she would be loved always.
"Toph?"
"We know you can hear us."
"We love you."
"And we miss you, too."
Miss
You
How was it? Good, bad, meh? Leave a review and tell me what you think :)
I don't know how and why this idea popped into my head but I knew that I had to write this sooner or later. To think that Toph, one of the best characters of all time, could contract such a disease is just heartbreaking to think about it.
I don't think I need to say anymore, so I'll just leave it here.
Peace,
FlyAndDontLookBack