Jude stood and looked after Gideon for a while. Unsure if he should follow him, the broken poster of Jelena was the evidence that he should probably leave him alone for a while. So Jude decided to head to his office, his was going that way before as well, but now it was probably to pack his things. He walked past Oscar's office or now it was probably more appropriate to call it Jelena's office. Jude sighed and stopped in front of the door. It was frustrating how fast things at the Arena changed, every time it felt like he had some footing it got swept away underneath him. Jude had used most of the day simultaneously working and daydreaming of the building project that he and Gideon were beginning when he had seen Jelena and Gideon in the hall. Jude was tired of trying and fighting and getting knocked over time and time again. He still stood and stared at the door that led to the office. Jude had no relationship or even slight connection to Jelena; she had been Zero's girlfriend but other than that they had never really had any thing to do with each other, but this was about to change. Jude opened the door, and the corridor and the secretary's office were pitch black, but there was still light coming from the open doors of the office, and Jude knew that that is where he needed to go. It was about time that he told Jelena a thing or two, he had nothing to lose, and everything was a mess now anyway. Jude stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her. Lying on the floor, half open eyes and a gunshot in her side. It only took him a split second before he felt himself move in an almost slow-motion towards her kneeling on the floor next to her feeling how the blood from her was soaking his pants instantly.

"Jelena. Jelena! Can you hear me?"

There was no response. Jude's hands were shaking slightly, and he wasn't sure he could even find her pulse. He quickly pulled out his phone and called 911, and placed the phone between his head and shoulder so he could use both his hands to put pressure on the wound.

When Jude finally came home, he was a mess, and as soon as he had closed the front door he felt his body slide down the door until he was sitting on the floor with his back against the door.

"Jude is that…"

The sight that caught Gideon's eyes knocked every last breath out of him. Jude was sitting motionless at the door covered in blood. His white shirt was redder than it was white, his hands, pants everything was covered.

"Jude!" fear eminent in Gideon's voice as he ran towards Jude and kneeled in front of him taking his head in his hands, but Jude didn't move, didn't speak he just sat there with an empty stare. Gideon immediately started ripping his shirt open to find the injury, to find the cause of all the blood. But there was nothing, not even a scratch; Gideon ran his hands down Jude's legs and over his arms but Jude never flinched, and it slowly became clear to him that this wasn't Jude's blood. Gideon ran his hands over Jude's chest once again making sure he hadn't missed something but finally let out a small breath of relief and placed his hands on Jude's cheeks.

"Jude?" Gideon had softened his voice, and it was now barely above a whisper. He felt Jude lean into his touch slightly.

"Jude?" He tried again, desperate to get him to look in his eyes or to say something. Instead, Jude closed his eyes, and a slight desperation took over Gideon.

"Jude. Please… Please look at me."

Jude forced his eyes open and for the first time he registered Gideon's worried expression, and Jude wondered for a second when and how long Gideon had been there in front of him.

"I don't know what happened" Jude said after a minute of looking in Gideon's eyes, his voice a bit hoarse. Gideon said nothing but kept his hands on Jude, and Jude could feel the soothing feeling of his thumb moving on his cheek.

Jude closed his eyes again and took a deep breath "I was going to talk to her, to tell her a piece of my mind, I mean we never had any correspondences really, but I had nothing to lose. But when I got there…" Jude closed his eyes again forcing the pictures of Jelena out of his head. Jude slipped out of Gideon's hands and banged the back of his head against the door.

"Hey hey hey" Gideon said and moved his hand to reach the back of Jude's head making sure that he no longer could hurt his head.

"There was so much blood" Jude continue still with his eyes closed "I have no idea how long she had been like that… I tried to put pressure on it, but I… they wouldn't let me in the ambulance… they wouldn't tell me h…" his voice was getting ragged, and Jude felt like he was drowning unable to get enough air into his lungs.

"Jude look at me" Gideon's voice pulled him back to reality and Jude opened his eyes.

"Deep breaths" He said a little more forcefully, and Jude forced himself to try and take a deep breath focusing on Gideon.

"I am sure you did all that you could, now let us get you out of this" Gideon stood on his feet and pulled Jude up with him.

"You are home now" Gideon placed a light kiss on his lips "We will figure everything out later, but not now" with another chaste kiss on his lips Gideon pulled Jude with him towards the bathroom.

Jude felt like his body was being dragged along rather than walking by its own free will, and as soon as they were in the bathroom Jude just stood motionless and looked at Gideon move over to turn on the shower. He then turned to Jude and slowly undressed him. Jude looked at him and the few times when Gideon looked in his eyes it wasn't filled with lust, but only the pure emotion of concern for him. Jude took a deep breath and closed his eyes and before long he felt Gideon pull his hand to get him under the shower.

The warm water felt relieving, and Jude felt his body starting to relax, and when he opened his eyes, he saw that Gideon was already putting soap on the washcloth.

Jude was shaking slightly when Gideon took his blood soaked hands and drew in a sharp breath while shutting his eyes close again. Gideon worked over his entire body to get all the blood of him while trying to make Jude relax. His breathing became more controlled and deeper, but he didn't open his eyes. When the water was no longer getting pink with blood and Gideon was sure there wasn't a drop left on Jude he quickly washed himself before stepping out to get two towels. With a towel around himself, he turned off the water and kissed Jude lightly on his lips. Jude opened his eyes right before Gideon pulled the towel over his head to quickly dry his hair down his torso and legs until he finally wrapped the towel around Jude as well.

They stood and looked at each other for what could have been hours for all Jude knew, but he didn't want to move, there wasn't a place that he rather wanted to be, then here with Gideon. Gideon put both his hands on Jude's cheeks and kissed him softly on the lips again only, this time, lingering a bit more than the previous kisses. When Gideon ended the kiss, Jude placed his arms on his triceps, not ready for him to move anywhere. Gideon rested his forehead against Jude's, and Jude kept his eyes on Gideon's chest, following a single drop that was slowly travelling down his body. Damn this man was everything to him. Everything Jude had ever hoped to find and more and Jude loved him with every fiber of his body. He knew that they weren't a couple that often said: "I love you". In fact, they hadn't said it to each other since the night in front of the Arena. The truth was it wasn't something they needed to say really, they both knew how they felt. Neither did they walk around holding hands or intertwining fingers in public or in private. In the beginning, Jude had wondered a bit why Gideon never did this, but then again Gideon always pulled Jude close to him when they were laying on the couch to watch tv, so Jude had just decided not to think any further about it. Maybe Jude was still a little bit afraid, though, that maybe too much would end it. Gideon had come a long way, and it wasn't that Jude had any doubts about Gideon's feelings. But he still couldn't shake the small fear that if it got too emotionally, then it would be too much for him, and he would close up and all the bravado that Zero had would be back. So instead, Jude said nothing and enjoyed the everyday life where Gideon would pull him closer on the couch or when he would hug him from behind when Jude was cooking. But this was not a normal every day; this had been a day on the most horrific roller-coaster, and he needed to say it. The last time they saw each other, their emotions were all over the place with the possibility of being separated, but now he needed to say it more than anything.

"I love you" Jude said more forcefully than any words he had managed to say since he got home, there was no more fear or trembling in his voice.

"I love you too" Gideon replied and put another kiss on Jude's lips

"Come on let's go to bed," he said and took Jude's hand

Jude followed him and put on the pair of sweatpants that Zero gave him before he lay on his side of the bed. Gideon slid in next to him and lay closely next to Jude with his chest against Jude's back. He pulled his left arm around him and squeezed him closer. Jude looked a bit at his hand and decided tonight he didn't care and took his right hand and intertwined their fingers. Gideon took a deep breath and placed a few kisses on Jude's neck and shoulder while his thumb started moving back and forth on Jude's hand. Jude couldn't help the smile that crept across his lips, nor did he really care he finally felt like he could breathe probably. Neither one of them said anything for what seemed like hours, but Gideon kept moving his thumb, so Jude knew he wasn't sleeping.

"I don't want to go." he said suddenly

"I know. I don't want you to either"

Jude heard the small laugh and could feel a smile on Gideon's lips the smile and laugh he so often had right before he really opened up or when he was afraid that he was being too emotional revealing.

"I didn't even care that she traded me, I didn't care that we had to move or that we had to wait with the project, but when you said…" Jude shut his eyes close; he knew he had hurt him by not wanting to go with him. Gideon took a deep breath.

"I got so mad at her for taking you away from me, for forcing me to leave and go somewhere alone. I don't want to do that again"

Jude turned so he could look at him.

"I don't want you to go either, but I can't leave her here. Lionel was there for me when I had no one" Gideon closed his eyes and looked in physical pain at Jude's words, but Jude didn't stop he needed him to know why he couldn't leave "and through everything she has supported me and believed in me when not even my own family would"

"I hate it" Gideon said and opened his eyes again

"I hate that it took me so long, that we wasted so much time"

"I don't think we would have been here now if we hadn't taken that long" Jude said honestly. They both stayed silent for a while.

"I know why you have to stay, and you wouldn't be you if you didn't want to stay and help her, just…" Gideon swallowed suddenly seeming uncomfortable with having Jude so close to him that he couldn't look anywhere else besides him. He finally settled on Jude's chest. "just don't take too long" He finally said eyes still fixed on Jude's chest and a sad smile crept over his lips.

"I promise" Jude said and lifted Gideon's head slightly so he could kiss his lips softly before moving, so he lay with his head under Gideon's chin. Before he knew it, Gideon pulled him in for a tight and all crushing hug and placed his lips on Jude's forehead.

"I love you, Jude" His voice shaking slightly and Jude hugged him back with all the strength he had.

"I love you too"