Prompt: "I was wondering if you could do either a Destiel or a Sabriel thing where one of them has nightmares and the other comforts?" by brieflywaywarddestiny on tumblr
"No, listen to me you son of a bitch," Dean started, and really, it's a fantastic way to talk to the Angel of the Lord that's keeping your brother alive. "Cas stays. And you stay. There's none of this it's me or him bullshit."
Sam's eyes, which were currently holding a storm behind them, glared into his soul as a voice that was similar, yet still unique, said, "You're being unreasonable, Dean. Castiel can survive without this place. Sam can't survive without me."
"Right, so you stay put and Cas stays here. Why can't you just let him crash for a while? The dude needs it. He's human now." Dean said, crossing his arms.
"I am merely apprehensive of his presence. I don't think he'll abide well with this plan." Zeke said, and okay, the staring thing is really only okay when Cas does it. Please blink.
"He'll understand. Sam's life was at risk. He probably would've done the same." Dean shrugged.
"I don't find it wise to-"
"Then just hide for a while! Chill deep inside Sam and don't draw attention to yourself! Cas won't be able to tell, he's human! And I won't bug you. Alright?" Dean forced himself to keep his voice down so Cas and Kevin don't hear.
Sam's face hardened as the Angel admitted defeat. "Very well. But be sure to make his stay brief."
Dean glared at him until Sam's muscles relaxed and it wasn't an Angel blinking at him, but his little brother.
"Hey, Dean." Sam shook his head, blinking rapidly. He glanced around them and mumbled, "Why are we just standing in the hallway?"
"Blind man's hide and seek." Dean replied. Sam gave him a confused look, so Dean shrugged, patted his shoulder, and muttered, "It was your idea, man."
Dean quickly made his way through the bunker, searching for a familiar mop of dark hair. He found Cas in one of the spare rooms. It was actually the one right next to Dean's room.
"I hope you don't mind, I, uh, chose this room to be my sleeping quarters. It seemed to be empty." Cas said hesitantly. He was so hesitant as a human; as if not having his mojo made him less confident in himself. Or maybe it was having human emotions, having human doubts and insecurities. Jesus. This will take some getting used to.
"Yeah, yeah. No problem." Dean said, gesturing to the bed, "If you need more blankets, there's a closet down the hall that's full of 'em."
Cas smiled gratefully, "Thank you."
Dean didn't even bother trying to restrain his smile, "Welcome."
They stared at each other, just soaking up their new faces. Not really new faces, of course. But kinda new. Cas held himself differently now. His shoulders were hunched more and his eyes didn't seem nearly as bright. And Dean had bags under his eyes, from stress of keeping Zeke a secret from Sam. It was the subtle differences that made them wonder what they had missed in each other's lives.
Kevin walked by then, he stopped and looked from Cas to Dean and back again. Neither noticed his appearance.
"Oh my god." He said, snapping the boys out of their trace. Dean's head snapped to look at the prophet, his arm raised slightly in self defense. Kevin just shook his head. "Blink, Dean. Or take a picture."
Dean awkwardly looked from Kevin to Cas. "I- Shut up."
Cas cocked his head at the blush rising up Dean's neck. Dean ducked his head and quickly slipped out of the room, muttering, "Goodnight."
Kevin watched Cas watch Dean walk out of the room.
"This isn't gonna be a normal thing now, is it?" Kevin asked, giving the fallen angel an odd look.
Cas's gaze flicked to Kevin, squinting in confusion. The Prophet didn't wait to hear Cas's reply; he turned out of the room without another word.
It takes a lot of effort to fall asleep, Cas discovered. He's been laying in the bed, his bed, for an endless amount of time.
That's another thing that's suddenly different for Cas. Time.
Experiencing time as a human feels very similar to traveling as a human, or cooking as a human, or doing anything as a human for that matter. It takes forever.
Cas had only closed his eyes for two minutes, but it felt like two centuries. His vessel was comfortable.
...His body was comfortable.
The bed was far softer and warmer than anywhere else Castiel had slept before. It was calming, relaxing. His head sunk into the pillows and his mind wandered in a way that he'd grown accustomed to.
His thoughts started with humanity, and then traveled to Heaven and his part in its downfall. The low, deep pain in his chest then shifted to a wonder of how his brothers and sisters were handling humanity. They all must be so panicked, so pained. It was his fault. And they had every right to be furious with him. But still, he hoped the best for them; he hoped they found a place to sleep for the night and something to eat. He hopes they like the first meal they have as a human. He hopes that they find their own Dean, who'll take care of them and teach them the ropes of humanity.
Dean.
Dad, Cas is lucky to have Dean. He couldn't imagine what it would be like trying to navigate a world that didn't have Dean Winchester in it.
Thoughts slowly got more and more spaced out as Castiel's breathing slowed and sleep took over him.
Dreams.
Dreams were a beautiful thing. In Castiel's opinion, they are one of his father's greatest creations.
They allowed him to be anywhere and do anything, without any limitations his damaged vessel possessed. Dreams allowed him to travel the world, space, other dimensions, and different times. Dreams let him fly again.
That's what he was doing now; flying.
His wings were stretched, long and powerful, as he flew high above the skyscrapers. He recognized the city as New York.
Cas liked to soar high above the skyscrapers, where the clouds met the stars, because the spacious vantage point allowed him to see more of the world he protected.
"You're looking the wrong way, Cas." A familiar voice hummed in his ear.
Castiel turned his head enough to be able to see Dean, sitting on his back. The hunter looked peaceful, despite his crippling fear of flying. He smiled at the angel and pointed up, "The show's up there."
Cas was suddenly on his back, staring up at the sky, with Dean sprawled out on the Angel's chest.
That's another thing about dreams: they don't make sense. Cas never turned over, and Dean hadn't moved, and yet, here they were.
Dean smiled at the angel, his cheek resting on Castiel's chest. Cas could count every fleck of gold in those green eyes.
"Hello, Dean." Cas mumbled, not knowing what else to say. But he didn't feel awkward, in this position, thousands of miles above the ground.
"Hey, Cas." Dean's voice was soft, and all around him, echoing off the clouds and being carried with the wind. "The sun's setting."
Cas dropped his head to look at where Dean's eyes flickered, behind the angel's shoulder. He watched as the sun quickly lowered in the sky.
It didn't hurt his eyes to look at the star, and when Cas looked back at Dean, he saw that the human was unaffected as well by the shining light.
Cas blinked and the sky was suddenly simultaneously pitch black and lit up with color and creation. The moon was rising, far bigger than its real counterpart, on the horizon. But the beautiful part, was what Castiel saw above them.
Galaxies, more than Cas could count, swirled in the sky. They moved in slow rotation as the earth spun lazily. Stars just at the edge of sight twinkled, determined to be noticed. Commits raced from one planet to another. Cas could reach out and touch Saturn's rings.
Ursa Major and Ursa Minor walked across the sky, strolling peacefully in between planets.
The Northern Lights, which wouldn't be anywhere near New York I'm the waking world, painted the sky with a fascinating mix of blues and greens.
"It's beautiful, huh?" Dean murmured, once again stealing Cas's attention.
"Yes, I would say so. Almost better than the original." Cas only then realized that he had his arms around Dean's waist, holding the man close to him. He didn't have to try to fly anymore, his wings hung uselessly in the air, and the dream simply held them up.
Dean grinned, drunk on the sight, although, his eyes never left Cas, "I want that in writing. We'll find God and say 'fuck you, our universe is cooler.'"
Cas chuckled, "I'm sure he'd appreciate it."
"Castiel Winchester! Was that sarcasm I hear?" Dean grinned, playfully smacking Cas's chest.
The angel's eyebrows knitted together in confusion, just for a second, before a huge smile lit up his face.
Oh, yes. Dreams are fantastic.
"Huh." Dean was staring up at the sky above them now. "Look at that."
Cas looked up at the beautiful, complex sky, to find the stars going out at a rapid pace. The sky was quickly getting darker, and the more Cas looked around, the more things died out. The moon crumbled to dust, disappearing in the wind. Comets crashed into each other, causing deafening explosions.
Saturn's rings started spinning around the planet, faster and faster until they were just a blurr. And then they started to fall.
The space rocks and junk that make up Saturn's rings fell to the earth, picking up speed and burning through the atmosphere.
"It's the angel's." Dean said casually. "They're falling."
Castiel twisted around to see the meteors speed to the ground, but as they entered Earth's atmosphere, their form morphed from a giant rock to one of Castiel's brothers or sisters.
The screaming felt like it was coming from inside Castiel, the screams of terror and pain and betrayal.
"How could you, brother?"
"My wings!"
"Father save me now!"
Cas moved forward, hoping he could help them in some way, but all he ended up doing was flying right in front of a falling archangel. Lucifer crashed into Castiel, flailing as he got a grip on his brother. The Devil smiled at Cas, and the sight of it made Castiel's stomach turn.
"Oh, brilliant job with this one, brother. I'm impressed." Lucifer cooed as they tumbled to the ground.
Before Cas could reply, Lucifer burned to ashes in his hands; the sickening smile the last thing Cas saw of his brother. It was only then Cas realized he was missing a certain human.
He twisted around to look towards the increasing ground, his eyes searched for Dean. Once he saw him - oh Dad, he's terrified; screaming on the top of his lungs as the wind whips at him - Cas dove down, flapping his wings with all his might to get there faster.
Dean had his eyes squeezed shut, tears forced their way out from under his eyelashes. Cas could hear his heart pounding in his ears as the ground got closer and closer. One of his wings slammed against a skyscraper, but Cas couldn't stop, and the force and momentum ripped the wing right off his back. Castiel screamed out in pain, curling in on himself, but now he's unbalanced and his one wing can't do all the work itself. He tried to flap it, but all that caused was for him to spiral down and for his feathers to be torn from his wing by the hungry, biting wind.
Dean opened his eyes, they locked with Castiel's, and as the world spun around them and they crashed to the ground, Cas screamed out Dean's name.
He's not going to be able to save him. Dean's going to die. This was his fault. His fault. His siblings and Dean will die and it's his fault.
"Dean!"
"Cas!" A voice screamed back, distant. The world was dissolving now, and when Cas opened his eyes, they were met with green and flecks of gold. Castiel's breath was coming out in small gasps, his body was shaking and sweating, if he still had wings, they'd be smashing against the walls of the room; trying to find an escape. "Cas, buddy, calm down. It was just a nightmare."
Castiel slowly sat up on shaky arms, gasping for breath. His eyes darted around the room, Dean had turned on the light, so there was no mistaking that he was in the bunker.
"You okay?" Dean asked, concern etched across his face. His hand was reached out, like he wanted to touch Cas, but something made him hesitate. "God, Cas, you're crying."
The tears that rolled down Castiel's face only further confused the fallen angel. Cas nodded as everything became clearer. "I… it was a bad dream."
Dean shifted on his feet, "Yeah, um, they can be pretty nasty."
"I'd never had a bad dream before." Cas informed.
The hunter sat down on Cas's bed then, shifting his body to face the fallen angel. "Do... you want to talk about it?"
Cas's face flushed as he remembered the first part of the dream. "Ah, no." He smiled, remembering how Dean had looked at him in his dream, "No, thank you."
Dean frowned, because that's not the expression or tone of voice people who just woke up from a nightmare use. "Right."
The hunter then patted Cas's leg and stood up, "Well, try to get back to-"
"Don't leave." Cas interrupted, his heart already pounding at the thought of Dean not being near. What if his dream comes true? What if Cas can't catch Dean when he falls? His fingers gripped the blanket tightly.
Dean's thoughts came skidding to a halt as he looked over at his disheveled angel. "I- what?"
"Please." Cas whispered, afraid of scaring Dean off.
The hunter's face flushed, and he bit his lower lip. "Okay, sure." He mumbled as he slid into the bed with Cas.
The fallen angel turned on his side, facing the hunter, who shifted awkwardly under his gaze.
They were quiet for a long, long moment, and then Cas whispered, "It was perfect before the nightmare started."
Dean turned on his side, only inches away from Cas, "Yeah? I've had a few dreams like that. Where everything was good until shit hit the fan."
Cas quirked an eyebrow at the expression, but otherwise doesn't comment. "It was quite the contrast."
Dean nodded. "My last nightmare was about a giant fire-breathing snake. Made no sense. But I remember it clearly. I looked at worms and snakes differently for days after."
"It's odd… how real it felt." Cas smiled softly, his heart had calmed down immensely. His breaths were long and deep, enjoying the view of green with gold flecks and endless star-speckled freckles.
"Dreams do that. Immersion... makes it all feel so real." Dean murmured.
They were talking so softly, as if if they spoke any louder, some sort of spell would be broken and they'd realized they were in bed together and the peaceful feeling hanging over them would shatter.
Cas's smile fell, "The first part of my dream would never come true… and I wish the second part never did."
Dean frowned, not liking the sad trace in Cas's voice, "Well, what makes you say that? Anything can happen."
Cas stared at Dean, holding his breath, because what if he knew? What if it just showed on Cas's face? What if Dean could tell Cas had dreamed about him? And that his nightmare involved Dean's death? Could he tell? Was this Dean telling Cas that it could happen? That Dean could care for him in the way he did in Castiel's dream?
Castiel heard himself saying, a bit dejectedly, "It… just isn't a possibility."
Dean nodded, his face surprisingly serious. "Well, that's what dreams are for."
Cas smiled at that.
The hunter then reached forward slowly, hesitantly, and brushed some hair out of Castiel's face. As he did so, he whispered, "Try to get back to sleep."
Cas nodded and determinedly closed his eyes. It took him considerably longer to fall asleep this time. His entire body was charged with the fact that Dean Winchester was laying right next to him, humming softly and watching over him. It's interesting that all claims of it being "creepy" vanished once the roles were reversed.
Exhaustion slowly dragged him back down into unconsciousness.
He didn't dream again, which also meant he didn't have another nightmare, and for that he's grateful.
When Cas woke up, there was a lingering warmth in the empty spot next to him.
Castiel's heart sank with disappointment, his eyes lowered to his hands which were reaching out to nothing.
Of course Dean had left him. Why would he stay? They were just friends, the dream meant nothing.
Eventually, the once angel crawled out of bed and shuffled around to find some adequate clothes. He settled on a borrowed t-shirt with an assemble of seemingly random letters with a lightning bolt in the middle. It was dark, but soft and covered him efficiently.
Walking down the hall, Cas noticed how cold the floor was on his bare feet. This wouldn't have registered as an angel. Cas tried to ignore it as he navigated his way to the kitchen.
The former angel paused as he heard a familiar voice hiss.
"No, I said he's staying. That's the end of it."
Castiel's heart twisted with pain as he realized Dean meant him. Kevin or Sam wanted him gone? Why? Were they just as angry at the fall of the Angel's that they didn't want him around? Were they disgusted when they looked at him? Cas suddenly wished he had his trench coat. His hands fiddled with the edge of his shirt.
"Dean, you must trust me, having-"
Sam. That was Sam's voice. ...Oh. He thought he had a better relationship with the younger Winchester than this… But he couldn't really blame him for his thinking. Cas probably didn't deserve this cold floor and warm bed.
"No. Shut the fuck up. Just, just shut up." Dean voice was gruff, quiet, but furious.
Cas doesn't know what made him walk into the room, but he does. He hovers by the doorway, watching as Dean and Sam hiss at each other. Dean jabs Sam's chest, his face tense.
And then his eyes flicker to the doorway, and his whole body stills. His shoulders drop as he whispers, "Cas…"
Sam's shoulders tense, he doesn't turn around, but he says, more to Dean than Cas, "I shall see you later."
Sam briskly pushed past Cas without making eye contact.
And now the room was silent. Cas looked back at Dean, who was angrily moving things around the counter.
"I, um, ignore him. He's not, uh, … a morning person." Dean didn't look up at Cas until he took a deep breath and said, "How did you sleep?"
Cas smiled gratefully, "Very well." He licked his lips, looking down at his bare feet, "Thank you."
He could feel his face tingle slightly under Dean's gaze. It was a strange feeling, something he didn't really experience as an angel. It felt… odd, but nice. Pleasant and it sent a rush of thrill down Castiel's spine.
"Yeah, of course." Dean brushed off anything that felt a little too chick-flick-y. "You'd probably do the same for me."
Castiel remembered every single time Dean was having a nightmare and Cas flew to his side to mojo them away. He was sure Dean didn't know about this particular habit, and he'd rather keep it that way, lest Dean makes him stop.
But Cas never stayed for long. He only watched Dean for a few hours to ensure the nightmares never didn't return. And he didn't, ever touch Dean, even if he wanted to.
Dean's smile fell slightly, and wow, how long had Cas been thinking? Humans process thoughts so much slower than angels.
Cas nodded, his face burning with embarrassment at the awkwardness he'd caused. "Without hesitation."
Dean offered a smile, but it seemed a little forced. Cas wanted to ask what was wrong; explain his silence as him thinking, ask why Sam wants him to leave and to offer to pack his bags. Castiel just didn't want to see the look in Dean's eyes as they flicked to Cas and then scurried away.
Sam came back in moments later, clapping Cas, on the shoulder and pulling open the fridge. Cas looked up to Dean, who was, once again, avoiding his gaze. Sam didn't seem nearly as hostile around either one of them now. Perhaps it truly does depend on the time of day.
Humans are weird.
Sam made breakfast for them while Dean made small talk, nursing his third cup of coffee. Cas stood awkwardly in the middle of the room until Kevin came in. The poor Asian was so tired, he ran right into Cas.
"Dean, move your angel." The Prophet grumbled, stalking towards the coffee machine.
Sam smiled at Dean's bright red face. The hunters bickered and teased each other easily, while Kevin slowly was able to drink enough coffee to pull himself out of his drowsy coma.
It was a relaxed day. Cas explored the bunker, learning about the place he hoped he could stay at. Kevin locked himself in his room with all the tablet translations. Interestingly enough, the (former) angel of the Lord barely ever saw the (current) prophet of the Lord.
Sam would suggest a new hunt and then Dean would awkwardly ask if everyone thought that was a good idea.
Cas figured the hunter was asking him. "It sounds simple enough of a hunt, and it's not far away. ...Although, I do not know how helpful I would be on such a trip, given my current state."
Something in Dean crumbled a little at the pity in Castiel's voice. Dean turned to Sam, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Actually, it might be good for us to take a bit of a break from the whole Twilight Zone thing." Dean gestured vaguely.
Sam smiled, clearly seeing ulterior motives behind Dean's sudden change of heart. "Sure, Dean."
And thus, began the long drawl of the day where the boys (excluding a certain prophet) relaxed.
When night rolled around, Dean was tense. He laid in his bed, hands resting on his chest, waiting.
Waiting.
He tried to sleep, but he couldn't. He kept thinking about if Cas was sleeping soundly on the other side of his wall, or if he was tossing and turning from terrors of his own mind.
So, he waited for any sign that Cas wasn't peacefully asleep.
Mostly, it's been silent. The walls of this place are surprisingly thin, and Dean can hear every time Cas groans.
He's only groaned twice, like, three hours ago. Dean had actually gotten out of bed each time, knocking lightly, and opening the door an inch to look and see if Cas was thrashing around in a cold sweat. When that wasn't the case, both times, he simultaneously satisfied and disappointed crawled back onto his own bed.
Cas groaned again. The bed creeked. That was a whimper. And that sounded like a sob, okay Dean was already outside Cas's door now.
He knocked on the door - that part was conditioned into him after walking in on Sam apparently having the opposite of a nightmare. When Cas didn't immediately scramble out a "Go away, Dean!", the hunter opened the door, and was glad he did.
Cas was twisting himself in the bed, as if he was trying to physically escape his dream. His head tossed back and forth, groans and whimpers escaping his lips. As Dean got closer, he could see the sweat rolling down Castiel's forehead.
"Cas!" Dean said, shaking the former angel's shoulder. "Cas! Wake up!"
Like a man drowning he gasped to awakeness. Cas's hands reached forward and gripped Dean's arms, his fingers digging into Dean's muscles.
Cas was letting out quick, intense gasps, his eyes wide and tears forming.
"Hey, shh." Dean whispered, setting his knee on the bed and leaning closer to his friend. Cas's eye widened, but his fingers relaxed against Dean's arm. "It's okay. It was a nightmare, again."
"It- it was similar to last nights… but, um, there was fire this time." Cas wouldn't meet Dean's eyes, they stared determinedly at his hand on Dean's shoulder, remarkably in a familiar position as the hunter's scar.
Cas blinked hard a few times, trying to remove his tears. "It was…"
"Shh." Dean shushed him, "It's over now. You don't have to think about it anymore. You're awake. You're safe."
Cas nodded, a bit shakily, and took a deep breath. He was far more comforted by the fact that Dean was safe, alive and breathing and worried. The relief that rolled over him was slightly more overpowering than the anxiety the dream caused.
"Human emotions are, are…" He trailed off, scratching his eyes with the back of his hand. He let out a bitter laugh, "I'm not used to them."
Dean nodded, running a hand through Cas's hair absentmindedly. "That's alright. You'll get used to them."
He sincerely hoped Cas wouldn't have to, that he'd be an angel again sometime soon. And he wouldn't have to sleep, so he wouldn't have nightmares.
Cas slowly laid back down. His hands fell down Dean's arms, stopping at his wrists. Dean moved his own hands to his lap. His heart was pounding stupidly, because, Jesus they were almost holding hands.
They stared at each other while Cas caught his breath. Dean smiled softly, trying to sooth the other.
Cas's eyes fluttered shut, flicking open quickly, and then slowly falling back down.
Dean leaned down slightly, whispering, "Go to sleep, Cas."
And, just like last night, Cas squeaked out a small, hesitant, "Don't leave."
In reply, Dean slid under the covers, next to Cas.
Cas turned towards him, his eyes staring into Dean's as he still fought against sleep.
Dean rested his hand on Castiel's arm, rubbing his tight muscle soothingly, "It's okay, Cas. I'll wake you up if you have another nightmare."
The former angel nodded, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, relaxing against the bed.
Dean watched him sleep; the way his eyes twitched behind his eyelids; the way his chest rose and fell rhythmically; even how his body shifted to get more comfortable, unintentionally curling itself around Dean.
The hunter wasn't as surprised as last night, when Cas did this. He happily opened his arms for the other man to snuggle up against him.
Dean spread his fingers through Cas's thick, messy locks. He hums softly, a lullaby his mother sang to him. Okay, not a lullaby. A Beatles song.
His heart felt warm, and fuzzy. Being wrapped up in his angels arms is just as soothing to him as it probably is for Cas. Dean rested his chin on Castiel's head; Cas's face pressed into Dean's neck, his slow breaths puffing against his skin.
Peace of mind is what finally let Dean fall asleep. Cas didn't have another nightmare that night.
Dean wakes up first, tangled up in a mass of limbs and Cas. He slowly pulls himself out of bed, carefully untangling them.
He doesn't actually want to leave Castiel's embrace. But he REALLY doesn't want Sam or Kevin or, worse, Zeke, finding them clinging to each other in bed.
That evoked a very nice thought.
Get it together, Dean. You'd notice if Cas had wanted ... that.
This is just for Cas's nightmares.
Although, as Cas wakes up to an empty bed and missing heat, he's starting to feel a dusty, dark curl of emptiness in his chest.
He's found a new nightmare.
Cas realizes that he doesn't have nightmares when Dean is sharing a bed with him. And Dean admitted to himself that he really, really likes when Cas unknowingly wraps himself against Dean's chest.
The two fall into a bit of a schedule.
Cas showers while Dean cleans up the bunker for the night. Once Dean knows he's given Cas enough time to shower and get dressed, he slips into the former angel's room.
The first time it happened, neither of them said anything. Dean blushed awkwardly as he settled into the bed. Cas gave him a smile, but kept shifting until he slowly fell asleep.
By now, they're relaxed, joking easily as they climb into bed together.
Cas has gotten multiple nights in a row with undisturbed sleep, but neither acknowledges this, in fear that acknowledging it will make the other want to stop.
Dean's bed hasn't been used in over a week. It's cold and empty now.
The hunter always waits until Cas falls asleep first, then he pulls the angel close to his heart and smiles into his hair, taking deep breaths.
He's gotten addicted to this; this feeling of comfort and peace that washes over him when the angel is in his arms. Dean soaks all of it up, because he knows once he wakes up, he'll have to leave, or worse, once Cas realized he hasn't had a nightmare in a week, he's going to kick Dean out of his bed.
"It's a simple salt and burn." Dean said, piling all his things into the Impala and closing the trunk. "We'll be back before dinner."
It was one of the rare times Cas saw Kevin. He and the prophet were standing to the side, watching as the boys checked and double checked that they had everything.
"So I'm on babysitting duty?" Kevin asked, sounding tired by just the thought of it.
Dean gave him a glare and said, "It won't be long. The case is just two hours away. In and out." His voice softened as his eyes flicked to Cas. "You'll be fine."
Kevin crossed his arms, "I'm going back to staring at a rock until my eyes bleed." He promptly left the original members of Team Free Will in favor of the solitude of the bunker.
Sam was on the other side of the Impala, so Dean and Cas had the illusion of privacy. Dean spoke quietly, his gaze hovering near Cas's shoes. "Don't worry. We'll be home before night."
Cas nodded, he wasn't that extraordinarily worried, Sam and Dean were professionals, the best of the best. If they say the case is easy, then the case is easy.
The case isn't easy.
That's the only reason Cas could come up with for why the boys aren't here yet. The angel spent most of his time watching Kevin while he worked. He did his best to help, but angels weren't meant to read the tablet, so mostly he just brought Kevin glasses of water and snacks.
Cas had already attempted to make dinner, but once the smoke alarms came off and Kevin rushed into the kitchen, eyes wide… Well, the former angel sat on his hands at the kitchen table while the prophet frustratedly made them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Kevin sighed once he sat down, his eyes burned on the back of his eyelids and he had a headache like no other. Cas chewed his sandwich thoughtfully, his eyes flicking towards the direction of the front door.
What if they were hurt?
What if the Impala broke down?
What if the poltergeist was stronger than they thought?
...What if there were suddenly two more ghosts in the world?
After the fifth glance, Kevin groaned, "Jesus, Cas. They're fine. They suck at calling, and they don't understand that people care about them, but they're fine."
Castiel's eyes snapped to Kevin's, "I… I don't…"
"They leave me alone all the time." Kevin trudges on, gulping down half a glass of water, "And they only call when they need something. You won't know if they're alive or not, but trust me, they are. It's impossible to kill them." The prophet stared at the angel for a long time, his voice was strained as he said, "So, don't worry about it. Just keep doing your job. They'll show up eventually."
Cas nodded and tried not to stare at the door anymore.
They're still not back and they're not answering Cas's calls. Every time he manages to dial up Sam or Dean's number, he's met with the dial tone, which Cas thinks means that the phone is off. Didn't they always keep their phones on?
It was late at night now. Kevin had kicked Cas out of his room, saying that the former angel was too distracting and he needed silence and no, he doesn't know where they are, they'll be back, just get out.
Cas had given up calling. He was sitting on the couch, trying to stay awake, because he wanted to be there incase Sam or Dean was hurt. But his eyes were drooping, and his breathing was slowing.
He drifted off before he even realized what was happening.
"I can't believe the bitch broke my phone." Dean grumbled as they were driving back, sweaty, bloody, sore, and annoyed. But alive.
Sam sighed, this was the third time Dean mentioned his phone, "She broke mine, too, Dean. We'll just have to get new ones tomorrow. I think we put the back ups in the kitchen."
Dean glanced at the clock on the dashboard and pushed harder on the accelerator.
Once they were home, Sam immediately went to the showers; already done with the day. Dean, however, stopped once he saw the slumped over figure on the couch.
Dean was falling, falling down to the ground and Cas couldn't catch him because Cas was falling too. And this scene is so familiar, but it still made Cas panic, each time. Even when he knew that it was a dream, he still felt his gun flip with the fear of the ground getting closer. His shoulders were sore from the Grace pouring out of where his wings used to be. His skin burned with the bite of the wind. Everything was real.
Including Dean's death.
It happens every time.
Cas reaches out for the human, but there's nothing he can do.
The heart-stopping crack of Dean's body slamming into the pavement will forever be imbedded into Cas's mind. There's no blood. There should be, but there's not.
The first time it happened, Cas wondered why there was no blood.
But now, he knows. As he twists in the sky - why is the fall so much longer for him than it was for Dean? - he can see as the first drops of warm, red liquid plummet to the ground.
The first drop lands on Cas's face.
Blood keeps raining, and the city around him burns, up in flames. The smoke is so thick, he can't see anything. But he can still hear the screeching of his siblings.
Castiel is completely alone.
"Cas..." A voice shouts through the darkness. The angel doesn't want to look up, but his head doesn't do what he tells it to, and he's looking into the eyes of the one he loves, green with flecks of gold. Cas is about to reach out, to hold onto Dean, but before he can, those eyes change. Starting from the edges, creeping up and around his eyes, thick, black veins. They thicken as they spread, and soon, Dean's entire eye is a deep, dark black.
"Cas…" That voice says again, but it's wrong, it's all wrong. That darkness shouldn't be in Dean's eyes. Cas cries out when Dean touches him, because his fingers turn to ash against Cas's skin.
Dean's arm blows away in the wind, his dark eyes never blink.
Cas wants to curl in on himself. He wants to die. Because he caused this. He couldn't catch Dean, so he died, and became a demon. All of this is Cas's fault. He deserves this hell. He deserves to be alone. He deserves-
"Cas!"
The angel's eyes flew open, and his hands shot forward, grabbing Dean's shoulders. He couldn't breath, he couldn't think. Blue met green, with flecks of gold.
Castiel's mind went blank with relief. He pulled Dean forward, pressing his lips against the hunter's. He didn't stop, kissing Dean again and again. His lips, his cheek, his nose, his forehead, his neck. Cas kissed everywhere because Dean was there right in front of him, alive.
The former angel only stopped when he couldn't breathe anymore. His throat was tight as he shook with sobs. He could only think one thing as he clung to Dean's chest.
I'll catch you. I'll catch you. I'll catch you. I'll catch you.
Dean was stone frozen, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. He was red from his ears to his neck. But he was grinning, slightly loopy and peacefully warm. The sobs shook him out of his daze as he gathered up the angel in his arms.
"Woah, woah, it's okay." Dean said, rubbing Cas's arms and wrapping an arm around Castiel's waist. "I'm here now. It's okay."
He pressed small, chaste kisses into Castiel's hair.
"It's okay now. I promise." He smiled when Cas took a deep, shuddering breath and relaxed into his arms.
Cas calmed himself considerably and when he looked up, in a better mind set, he was pleased to find green, with specks of gold, looking right back at him.
Embarrassment and shame burned into Castiel's soul as he looked down and muttered, "I apologize. It was… you didn't call, and I thought… I couldn't catch you."
"Shhh." Dean said, carefully petting Cas's hair, "I'm sorry. The poltergeist broke Sam and I's phones. We couldn't find a way to call or anything."
Cas nodded, his face pressed against Dean's chest.
After a moment of Dean slowly rocking them, he whispered, "Let's get you to bed."
The former angel froze slightly, his fingers clinging onto Dean's shirt. Fear was evident in his voice when he whispered, "Will you stay?"
Dean kissed Cas's head and replied, "Of course."
Cas leaned back, giving Dean a hard look, "I mean… Stay in the morning." He looked away awkwardly, "With me."
Cas heard as Dean's breath hitched. He held his own, waiting for Dean's response.
A hand reached for his, Cas watched as their fingers intertwined and didn't burn to ash. It wasn't a desperate clutching to save one other's life. It wasn't something that everyone would see; something to show off. It was soft, and warm, and just for them.
Dean kissed him slowly, pulling away only enough to say against Cas's lips, "Yeah, okay."
The two smiled at each other as they stumbled off the couch, Dean leading the way to Cas's room. He stopped in front of the door, hesitating.
Cas's grip on Dean's fingers tighten involuntarily. Dean gave him an easy smile and kept walking down the hall to the next door, Dean's room.
Neither said anything as they walked into the room. Dean kicked off his shoes and Cas looked around the familiar layout. Satisfied, Dean pulled Cas into a hug, gently leading him to the bed. The bed felt different than Castiel's. He kissed away Cas's confused expression.
Dean smiled, whispering, "I have memory foam." Pulling his angel into another kiss he smiled, "It'll remember us."
When Cas woke up the next morning, his clothes spread randomly around the room and the sheets wrinkly from late night activities, he was pleased to find a warm body pressed against his. And as his eyes traveled up a bare chest, he was even more ecstatic to find loving eyes staring back at him.
Green, with flecks of gold.
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