Shimura Shinpachi wraps the top of his head with a handkerchief to keep the dust from falling on his hair as he sweeps the ceiling at the Yorozuya office. Although most people would dread cleaning the house, Shinpachi actually finds joy in it. It was one of the perfect excuses to immerse himself with his favorite idol's music without anyone complaining about it. How could they complain? He wasn't even a resident of this house, the responsibility of tidying up was not with him but with his employer and his co-worker.
Once he plugs in his earphones, Shinpachi enters his Otsu-filled world. He sings the lyrics in an ungodly tune while he wipes the dust off the furniture. It was a good thing that no one was at home at the moment to hear him. As usual, Gintoki must've been out drinking in the city. Kagura, on the other hand, has grown out of playing with the kids in the streets through the years so she just strolls around the district with Sadaharu to keep herself entertained. All of this happens when there was no work, of course.
After finishing with the office and Gin's room, Shinpachi stands by the entrance to give the whole office a good look before he would start packing the cleaning materials away. So far, it was clean. There were no more dusts on the furniture and the cobwebs have been removed. The floor was also mopped clean as the sunlight from the window reflects off of it. He mentally gave himself a pat on the back for a job well done.
He grabs the broom resting on the sliding cabinet door and a thought comes up to him.
Kagura's cabinet.
Shinpachi was too busy thinking of the exterior that he forgot his younger co-worker had a cabinet for a room in this house. Well, it wouldn't be too much of a hassle to clean it now, after all, it was just a cabinet. He slides the door open and a few candy wrappers fall on the floor as the edge of Kagura's futon unwinds. He picks them up quickly and notes that, thankfully, the cabinet had no unpleasant smell but was a bit dusty as he expected. He fully opens the door to drag the mattress out so he could dust it. Upon pulling outside one side, he hears the ruffling of papers as they fall on the floor. They were letters.
Oh, yeah, he thought. Kagura often writes letters to her father, Umibozu. He picks up and organizes the papers only to see that they were merely folded papers with no name as to who it was addressed. That was odd. Did Kagura have another pen-pal they didn't know of? Shinpachi grows worried at the thought. He doesn't want Kagura associating herself with any sketchy people she meets on the internet or wherever else one meets shady people. He knows that she would strangle him if she found out, but, his paternal instincts got the best of him and he quickly unfolds one of the papers.
The first line was viciously penned on to cover it, but, he was pretty sure it was addressed to her father.
"I have a lot of things to tell you," it said. "I don't think you'll understand because you're a guy. I tell Anego most of these things so you shouldn't worry anymore about not being able to help. But Anego told me that you should still know, either way. I get bored a lot lately. Me and my old playmates are too old to play games anymore so I don't really have anyone to talk to. Anego goes to work, Gin-chan doesn't really make sense most of the time, and Shinpachi is a cherry boy". A vein popped on Shinpachi's temple and he only manages to crumple the sides of the paper. "But one of them still hangs out with me. He goes with me sometimes when I walk with Sadaharu and even treats me to lunch. He also gives me sukonbu. He's kinda weird because he doesn't tease or annoy me. Sadaharu seems to like him too."
An admirer? He didn't know any of this was going on. Well, at least it wasn't any one dangerous and the guy seems to be nice to her. Shinpachi mentally scolds himself as he tucks the first letter under the stack and proceeds to unfold the next one. The first line addressing her father was crossed out as well.
His eyes widens at the first line. "The boy told me he liked me and is asking if I can be his girlfriend. The situation seems familiar. I guess I like him so I said yes. Anego was happy when I told her so I'm guessing you'll be happy too when you find out. I'm old enough now, yes? I haven't told Gin-chan and Shinpachi yet, I have a feeling they won't like it." Damn right we won't! "We're going on our first date tomorrow and he told me I can choose where we're going to go. I guess I'll just let you know how it went."
Shinpachi tucks it again at the back and scans the other papers. Most of it were scratch papers and contained poor illustrations of Sadaharu drinking from a bowl or playing in a park. Some of the other papers were addressed to her friend, the Princess. He doesn't necessarily like where the letters were leading to but he wasn't too worried about it. At least this time the boy was human and wasn't an alien. Kagura can definitely beat his ass if he tried anything.
He unfolds the third letter which revealed another redacted first line.
"We went to an amusement park. I really want to try the roller coasters there. They had a lot of games too. I even got a teddy bear as a prize. Everything was going well until some stupid idiot showed up. The stupid idiot ripped my teddy bear into two and we ended up destroying a stall. I guess he found out I was with my boyfriend so he decided to ruin things for me. Unlike that dumb officer, my boyfriend is nice. He apologized to the old man at the stall and even offered to pay for damages." Shinpachi's eyes twitched at the word "officer". If at first he wasn't worried about Kagura's boyfriend, well, now he was. For different reasons. The kid had no chance against that sadistic man. "I told Anego everything and she practically squealed. She kept on saying things about how lucky I was that two guys liked me. I don't get it. Who's the other guy?"
He shook his head in disappointment at Kagura. This wasn't really something you could teach someone if they were naturally oblivious. Well, in retrospect, Kagura didn't even know that her old playmate liked her until he confessed. Shinpachi had an inkling before that Okita Sougo must've had a thing for Kagura when they were younger, but he didn't entirely believe it. He just thought they relished the fact that there was someone at par with them.
Shinpachi searches for another letter that had a crossed line and came upon the last one.
"That stupid dog! I think he's been following us for the past week. He keeps on popping up wherever we would go. He secretly put Tabasco sauce on the onigiri that my boyfriend bought for me. I want to kill him! And then that dog made things worse by telling my boyfriend that he was my real lover and I was a two-timer–" Shinpachi stopped reading the rest because he knew what she was about to write next. The bottom part of the letter was crossed out as well, so he wouldn't really know how it ends.
Oh, Okita-san.
As much as it was entertaining to see boys fight over one girl, he couldn't help but be disappointed at the policeman as well. He was older than Shinpachi by two years but his behavior suggests otherwise. He would have understood such behavior when they were younger, but now that Kagura was considered an adult, it kind of seemed strange and, if he was being honest, somewhat off-putting.
He hears the sound of bullets and profanities from a familiar voice coming from outside. Without removing his cleaning outfit, he runs outside to see that Kagura was exchanging blows and insults with Okita just in front of the bar downstairs. Her boyfriend, whose name Shinpachi has yet to learn, just stands at the side, kind enough to try and understand what those two idiots were doing.
Okita whips out a megaphone out of nowhere and speaks into it: "I'm ready to take you back, China." a swing of her umbrella clashes with his sword. "I don't care how many lovers you have, I'm willing to forgive you. You just need to wear this collar and walk like a dog for one week."
"Shut up! Put that away!" Kagura lets bullets rain as she screams in anger.
Shinpachi races down to where the boyfriend was standing, in hopes to calm the situation before anything else gets destroyed. "Kagura-chan! Okita-san! Stop this. This is embarrassing!"
"That's alright." The boyfriend finally speaks. "I always see them like this even when we were younger. They're just having fun." he smiles and looks at the two fighting. "Besides, I think he knows she doesn't like him back."
Oh.
So this is the only way he knows how to get her attention, after all. Poor Okita-san, he thought.
END.
I tried to make a fun take on the unrequited love theme hehe this was hard to write especially after a slump lol